Monday, August 23, 2010


As you know college football polls this early don't mean shit except for bragging rights and arguments among your friends and enemies. With the release of the new AP College Football Poll I figured I would give you my uncensored initial reaction to all of the teams listed and even some who didn't make the cut.

1 Alabama (54) 0-0 1,491-The defending champs deserve the top spot with Hypesman winner Mark Ingram and Trent Richardson leading a potent running game. Bama will have a huge target on their back but their schedule is manageable with their two toughest games (Florida and Auburn) both at home. I still find it humorous they have a first year upstart program in Georgia State (my alma mater) on the schedule. I would be fucking embarrassed to have this game on my schedule if I were the defending champs. I guess RISD or SCAD weren't available that Thursday.
2 Ohio State (3) 0-0 1,400-Terrelle Pryor can still go suck a fart out of my ass despite the compliments about to give him. He's going to have a huge season behind a line who will keep his uniform clean. If the Buckeyes get past a road game in Iowa in late November then they will be undefeated going into the bowl game.
3 Boise State (1) 0-0 1,336-The BCS fucking busters are back! I know people like to hate on the Broncos because of the blue turf and the fact that they play in a shit conference but it's not their fault. They will play anybody anywhere but schools are afraid of them. They win BCS Bowl games when they shouldn't. They are fucking good so deal with it and yes they deserve to be ranked this high. They got out of conference games with Virginia Tech and Oregon State. If they win both then they go undefeated. I will be rooting for them. Gotta root for the little guys!
4 Florida 0-0 1,237-Ruh fucking roh. No more God at quarterback for the once invincible Gators. Brantley will step in and do well but he isn't a Tebow. He can't put them on his back and will them to virginity. Actually as much as I don't like the Gaytors I gotta admit they look damn good on paper. It wouldn't surprise me if they ran the table. But then again it also wouldn't be shocking if they lost 3 games this year.
5 Texas (1) 0-0 1,223-The Longhorns are overrated. There I said it. No Colt McCoy and a pedestrian running game is going to hurt them big time. The defense is nothing to write about either. They are a top 15 team but not top 5 this year.
6 TCU 0-0 1,160-TCU should be top 5. They are basically bringing back everybody except Jerry Hughes on both sides of the ball. Their defense will once again dominate and I would love to see the Horned Frogs go undefeated once again in the regular season. I think it would be great for college football if both TCU and Boise State go undefeated again and face off in a BCS game. This time for the whole kahuna.
7 Oklahoma (1) 0-0 1,104-Mark it down now: QB Landry Jones will be a Heisman finalist which means I think the Sooners go nearly undefeated. The Sooners are going to explode on offense this season and Landry will put up Sam Bradford-type numbers. Oklahoma will be the best team by far in the Big 12 this season.
8 Nebraska 0-0 1,033-Not feeling it for Nebraska this year. I know everyone is hot on Bo Pelini's balls and I get it but I think they will struggle on defense without Suh plus they lost Dillard and Asante. Zac Lee comes back but he sucks. The offense blows really. They will lose at least 3 games.
9 Iowa 0-0 1,007-Adrian Clayborn could be the best defensive player in the nation. Ricky Stanzi should have a good senior season if he stays healthy behind a green offensive line. The Hawkeyes have the pieces to win the Big Ten. Will they do it? Probably not but this 9 ranking seems about right.
10 Virginia Tech 0-0 973-The Hokies are the new FSU. Every year the pollsters rank them way above their actual skill level. Don't get me wrong, Frank Beamer runs a hell of a program. But the Hokies are not a top 10 team. I would have them around late teens. I say this because I honestly can't remember the Hokies ever winning a huge game.
11 Oregon 0-0 870-The pollsters put Oregon up here because they felt they needed at least one PAC-10 team sniffing the top 10. I still can't get over how pathetic they looked last year in the Rose Bowl against a good but not great Ohio State team. Yeah I know the Trojans are down and Oregon kicked the shit out of them but I'm not feeling the Ducks this year. Masoli is gone and maybe that is a good thing but I don't see this team doing big things in 2010.
12 Wisconsin 0-0 822-Don't laugh but the Badgers could win the Big Ten this season. They get the Buckeyes in Madison and I could see John "Big Play" Clay having a Heisman worthy game. The Badgers are sleepers and deserve this spot.
13 Miami (FL) 0-0 785-Fuck the Canes. Seriously I don't even want to fucking talk about them.
14 USC 0-0 590-FUSC. This is going to be exactly like when Michigan hired DickRod for their head coach. Lane Kiffin is going to be a miserable failure. They got talent but they don't have leadership or heart. Plus they are on probation so they can't even go to a bowl game for the next two seasons.
15 Pittsburgh 0-0 516-The Stache will have the Panthers in a BCS game. Probably the Fiesta. Why? Dion Lewis is incredible and the Big East blows without Brian Kelly in it.
16 Georgia Tech 0-0 511-If the defense steps up then Tech could be a sleeper with Nesbitt back at QB. I have serious doubts with both of those scenarios although Paul Johnson could give two shits what I think. In fact he probably revels in the Tech being the underdog camp this season. I still can't shake the thoughts of how bad they have looked the last two bowl games. They got worked. Dominated. Johnson has his work cut out for him.
17 Arkansas 0-0 496-Ryan Mallett maybe the best QB in the nation. Arkansas could shock some teams this year with their offense but I still have a hard time writing anything positive about a team led by Bobby Petrino. That guy is a fucking shitbird coward. Ah, now I feel better.
18 North Carolina 0-0 397-Great defense. Horrible offense. They get any kind of running game going they could be good. I mean really good.
19 Penn State 0-0 382-Blah blah blah storm troopers blah blah Joe Pa blah blah blah Happy Valley blah blah...oh seriously who gives a fuck about Penn State?
20 Florida State 0-0 379-What a shocker! The pollsters put FSU in the top 25. Have fun at the Music City Bowl.
21 LSU 0-0 300-I have a scary feeling about this team this year. Either it's going to be really good or really bad. Right now I'm leaning towards good. QB's Jordan Jefferson and Jarrett Lee should be fun to watch as they mix and match different games behind center.
22 Auburn 0-0 296-The SEC is so fucking loaded it's sickening. Auburn looks like a team on the rise with new transfer QB Cam Newton bringing his 5 star talent to the War Eagles. Unfortunately for Auburn they play in the SEC and they have to face Alabama in Tuscaloosa. It's a good team but not a great team. 22 seems about right.
23 Georgia 0-0 206-The Dawgs have 10 starters back on offense. The only problem is the one new guy is the QB in Aaron Murray. The redshirt freshman will play behind an experienced and perhaps one of the best lines in the country. I think he will do an OK job. The running game should excel but the question is can the defense stop anybody? Last year they couldn't and it cost Willie Martinez his job. Florida and Tennessee fucking killed them. This ranking seems about right. Coach Mark Richt has his work cut out for him.
24 Oregon State 0-0 198-Mike Riley could be the best coach in the PAC-10. No bull shit. Jacquizz "Why Don't you get a real fucking name" Rogers is a little pinball who brings back memories of Darren Sproles at Kansas State. They look like a 8-9 win team this year. Good for them for having the balls to schedule TCU and Boise State.
25 West Virginia 0-0 184-It seems like Noel Devine has been in college for two decades now. They should be fun to watch this year and yes they got a shot at making a BCS game because of their conference.

Ok, where the fuck is Notre Dame? Everyone knows Brian Kelly is going to come in and lead the Fighting Irish to an undefeated season. I mean he did it at Cincinnati why can't he do it immediately at Notre Dame?

I apologize. That was the irrational Notre Dame fan coming out of me. Right now I'm glad they aren't ranked because they don't deserve it. Not after the last 3 seasons. They got to prove it to themselves before they prove it to the voters that they deserve a top 25 rankings. Granted if they were wearing a tomahawk on their helmet they would probably be top 10 preseason but that is neither here nor there. Notre Dame is going to shock the masses this year in a good way. They will win 10 games. The offense will be nearly unstoppable. The defense will be suspect. More importantly they will be heading in the right direction: preseason top 5 in 2011. Yep, I said it.