DO YOU GET IT IN THE CAN?

I thought everybody took it in the can at least once? Don't act like you haven't. Sinners. All of you.

VIDEO HT: BarStoolSports

US OPEN HAS GREAT SECURITY

Dude, were they going to wait till the guy got on his knees and started sucking him off? Seriously, what the hell is security doing? Apparently this is acceptable behavior in New York City because nobody even freaked out when the intruder tried to kiss Rafael Nadal on the lips.

You know how I know tennis is gay? Because of shit like this. Actually I'm not going to lie, I've been watching a ton of the US Open this year because of Marietta's Melanie Oudin. What can I say other than 17 year old girls from the South just manage to grab my attention when they are sweating and swinging a racket while grunting. So innocent yet so animalistic. Yes, I can feel those flames right now. Or is that Craig Hansen? Either way I'm on my way to hell.

JEFFTCARVER WON WEEK 1 PICK EM CONTEST

Congratulations go out to jefftcarver who went 13-3 in his College Football Pick Em points and amassed the most points with 119, narrowly defeating notre damian and rmkdhk whom both scored 118. It looked like I did pretty shitty the first week finishing 35th. I shouldn't have ever picked Rutgers or put so many points on Oklahoma. Fucking Sam Bradford and his shoulder. Anywho, jefftcarver wins a free Sportscrack shirt or mini helmet of his choosing. Be sure to email me jeff whenever you get the chance.

Make sure you guys and gals go ahead and put in your picks for this week. Every week somebody will be a winner. If you haven't signed up it's not too late to join. Just go to www.funofficepools.com, click on the JOIN A POOL link at the top, click on the College Football Pick Em from the drop down menu, the pool name is Sportscrack.com (make sure you type it in exactly like this with the S capitalized), don't worry about the password, and make your selections.

And by the way the picture above is Kelly Brook from the GQ Awards which you can view over at WWTDD.com. Why is she up there you ask? Because it just doesn't matter, that's why!

THANK THE LORD THIS GUY DIDN'T GO TO USC

Arizona State freshman linebacker Vontaze Burfict laid down the wood on ISU's quarterback Russell Hill Saturday night and the first thing that came to my mind was "Holy hell, thank you for not letting this beast of a linebacker go to USC." Burfict was originally committed to USC but at a last second reversal of plan ($$$$) decided to travel east to Arizona State. It made perfect sense since USC "graduated" all 3 of their starting linebackers to the NFL to instead go to Arizona State. Made almost as much sense as Manti Te'o going to Notre Dame. I sure as shit am happy they chose their own path.

Video HT: EDSBS

HIGH SCHOOL KICKER NAILS 67 YARD FIELD GOAL

Legacy High School (Broomfield, CO) kicker Kip "Iron Foot" Smith got an opportunity last week to capitalize on a little known rule of a free kick after his team made a fair catch at their 43 yard line at the end of the first half. Obviously the kid nails the field goal which sets a new state record and later was seen nailing anything with a skirt. Dude, the kid hit a 67 fucking yarder! He better be getting mad tail after that accomplishment.

Video HT: FanIQ