Yankees Pitcher Cody Eppley Hit In The Head By Own Teammate

I know all of you are concerned about Yankees pitcher Cody Eppley. He's going to be ok. Just a little boo boo on his noggin from taking one from teammate Eric Chavez last night. The mental anguish might not be enough for Eppley to handle though so I've been told he is suing Rawlings for making the ball, Detroit for building a baseball stadium with inadequate warning signs for thrown balls, and every fan in the stands including the commentators for not alerting him of the dangers of a baseball thrown from a teammate. Hey it's the American way right? Let's blame others because it's so much easier. It's what God would want.

/mulls over lawsuit vs Busch Light for explosive bloody diarrhea.

How to Eat Noodles Like a Boss Commercial

This guy is my new hero. Not only can he slam down Ramen with the best of them while pouring scolding hot water down his throat and doing lines of chili pepper right in front of his female coworkers but the guy screams "FAWK BITCHES" to top it all off. Even the Asians have better commercials then us. Not only are we losing the medal count to fucking communist China but are commercials look like Lolo Jones trying to compete on the grand stage. Time to tighten it up America.