Wednesday, May 20, 2009

FURTHER PROOF THAT THE SPORTING NEWS JUST NEEDS TO GO AWAY AND DIE


I know most of you had no idea that the Sporting News was even around but apparently they still exist. I will give them credit, they do put links to some of my "articles" so apparently they have good taste. I can't say I blame them for wanting to get some of the Sportscrack love. I found a list of their top 50 MLB players in the game today.

Take a look at this joke...

1. Albert Pujols, Cardinals
2. Alex Rodriguez, Yankees
3. Johan Santana, Mets
4. Manny Ramirez, Dodgers
5. Hanley Ramirez, Marlins
6. Chase Utley, Phillies
7. Roy Halladay, Blue Jays
8. Derek Jeter, Yankees
9. Mariano Rivera, Yankees
10. Chipper Jones, Braves
11. Ryan Howard, Phillies
12. Grady Sizemore, Indians
13. David Wright, Mets
14. Justin Morneau, Twins
15. Jimmy Rollins, Phillies
16. Josh Beckett, Red Sox
17. Mark Teixeira, Yankees
18. Dustin Pedroia, Red Sox
19. Tim Lincecum, Giants
20. Evan Longoria, Rays
21. Lance Berkman, Astros
22. Jose Reyes, Mets
23. Carlos Beltran, Mets
24. Ian Kinsler, Rangers
25. Zack Greinke, Royals
26. Josh Hamilton, Rangers
27. Alfonso Soriano, Cubs
28. Miguel Cabrera, Tigers
29. CC Sabathia, Yankees
30. Ichiro Suzuki, Mariners
31. Brandon Webb, Diamondbacks
32. Ryan Braun, Brewers
33. Dan Haren, Diamondbacks
34. Francisco Rodriguez, Mets
35. Matt Holliday, A's
36. Kevin Youkilis, Red Sox
37. Vladimir Guerrero, Angels
38. Jake Peavy, Padres
39. Joe Mauer, Twins
40. Carlos Quentin, White Sox
41. Jason Bay, Red Sox
42. Chad Billingsley, Dodgers
43. Cliff Lee, Indians
44. Torii Hunter, Angels
45. Victor Martinez, Indians
46. Roy Oswalt, Astros
47. Carlos Delgado, Mets
48. Carlos Zambrano, Cubs
49. Cole Hamels, Phillies
50. Brian McCann, Braves


Ummm, excuse me but where the fuck is Nick Markakis? Derek Jeter at #8! You have to be kidding me. Listen, I kind of like Jeter even though he is a Yankee. The guy scores unbelievable poon and keeps his name out of the papers for all the right reasons. But there is no fucking way he is the 8th best player in the game. Please get your dick out of his ass before he shits all over you. If you are going to put Mariano Rivera on there, especially in the top 10, you better sure as hell put Trevor Hoffman on there. But nope, Hell's Bells Hoffman isn't even in the top 50 yet he has a better career ERA, more saves, and is having a better season right now than Rivera. Evan Longoria should be top 10...no doubt in my mind. Chipper Jones is not a better 3B than Longoria at this point. Grady Sizemore might be one of the most overrated players in the game. Adam Bazooka Jones is a better hitter, better fielder, and has a way better arm than Sizemore. Josh Beckett rated higher than Tim Lincecum and Zack Greinke? Holy shit, this list should just be crumpled up and burned. I'm going to come up with my own list. I can't put up with stupid shit like Matt Holliday, Vladimir Guerrero, and Jason Bay are seen as better players than Nick Markakis.

I will try to get my list out within the next few days.

RON MEXICO IS FREE (SORT OF)


Thank God Ron Mexico aka Michael Vick is finally free. Now we have a NFL storyline worth following. All kidding aside Vick was released from prison today after serving 19 months for killing dogs in his own financed dogfighting ring. He will now serve two months of home confinement (smoking blunts and playing video games with his "friends") up in Virginia. He will also wait to meet with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to hear if he will be reinstated to the NFL in 2009.

First off I am all about forgive and forget. Michael Vick has done some shitty stuff. A lot of it. Killing dogs is not cool at all. I can't even make a joke of it right now. I have two dogs right now and grew up with dogs since I first blinked. I've been around viscous dogs too. And in no way have I ever thought it was right to kill one. Call me a pacifist, pussy, puppy lover, whatever. I am willing to forgive Vick if he can admit to what he did was wrong with sincerity. Granted the guy has a hard time completing a sentence so we may never get it. I may be in the minority but I want to see this guy come back and have success in the NFL. Just not with the Atlanta Falcons. I'm sure Mexico can still play. You know the guy has been working on his agility and speed in the prison showers. Hell, I would come out of there looking like Barry Sanders even I had to hide my backside in prison.

I'm not sure Goodell will grant him reinstatement right away. I could see Goodell letting Vick sit out a year and then come back in 2010. We know whatever team is interested in signing Vick will have to put up with a PR nightmare. PETA will be all over their ass, throwing blood on their training facility while crying about the rights of pit bulls. The only team I think brave enough to not give a shit about PR nightmares is Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis. Sure I think it would be more ironic if the Cleveland Browns signed him for the Dawgpound but they got Brady Quinn's career to fuck up right now.

Vick would fit in nicely with the Raiders. They love speed and one could only imagine a team with Jamarcus Russell's arm, Mexico's speed, D-Mac's running ability, and Heyward-Bey's deep bomb threat would do to NFL defenses. So I'm saying get ready Raiders fans. You will be dealing with Vick next year. For better or worse. Richer or poorer. Till dog death do us part.