Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Preseason College Football Top 25

I know you have been waiting all year for it. You clamor for it. You spend unless nights awake just thinking about it. But now the long wait is over. Here it is folks. The long awaited College Football Top 25 Preseason Poll. It's right up there with losing your virginity. Once you see this poll you will never forget where you were. All though I'm positive the girl has blocked it out with years of therapy.

25. Miami-I'll be the first to admit I probably have Da U overrated. This team could go one of two ways. They could either be really good and start off the season 2-0 with wins over Maryland and Ohio State. Or this team could completely tank under first year head coach Al Golden (who I believe is a great hire) as he gets more of his players in there. I just have a hard time believing with their history and incredible local talent base that Golden can't coach up these kids to a top 25 finish. If Golden can get Jacory Harris to stop throwing the ball to the other team and cut down the penalties I think Miami can contend for the ACC Coastal division.

24. Georgia-Much like Miami I think the season could go one of two ways for UGA. They start off the season with Boise State and South Carolina. Both teams could crush the Bulldogs but on the other hand Georgia has the talent to play with them and win. If Georgia can somehow manage to go 1-1 then the schedule sets up favorably with them not having to face LSU or Alabama. Coach Mark Richt is on the hot seat and it's rather unfortunate. The guy is just a deep down good person and he has won big time while in Athens. But in the all too familiar world of "what have you done for me lately" the pressure is on Richt to get UGA back to a SEC Championship game. If Aaron Murray blossoms and incoming freshman tailback Isaiah Crowell becomes the next Marcus Lattimore then Georgia could win the SEC. But I have my doubts.

23. Maryland-The Terps have the best QB in the ACC with Danny O'Brien poised to have a huge season under first-year head coach Randy Edsall. The defense is led by linebacker/safety hybrid Kenny Tate who is a ferocious hitter. The Terps have a legit shot at winning the ACC this year.

22. Houston-The Cougars had a disastrous season last year when both Case Keenum and backup QB Cotton Turner had season ending injuries in the third game of the season vs UCLA. Both are back and Keenum who is in his 6th year of eligibility should establish a NCAA record for career passing yardage. The defense should be much improved and the schedule is set up favorably for a 10/11 win season.

21. Iowa-Last season was rather disappointing for the Hawkeyes as they floundered down the stretch losing three straight going into the postseason. This year the expectations should be lowered and this is usually when a Kirk Ferentz team plays it best. Look for the Hawkeyes to have a potent running game with Marcus Coker exploding on the scene this year after a productive freshman campaign. I could see them winning the "Legends" side of the division.

20. Michigan State-I also could see the Spartans winning the "Legends" division in the Big Ten. Sparty played out of it's ass last year despite blowout losses to Iowa and Alabama. Kirk Cousins and Edwin Baker are back and the offense again will put a lot of points on the scoreboard. Road games against Ohio State, Nebraska, Notre Dame and Iowa are killer.

19. Texas-The Longhorns were absolutely horrible last year and a big reason was because QB Garrett Gilbert was atrocious behind center. Texas has too much talent and way too much depth to be bad again this year. I think they bounce back under a mostly new coaching staff under Mack Brown and once again contend in a tough Big 12 conference.

18. Ohio State-The Buckeyes should be a top 5 team but you may have heard they lost their head coach, quarterback and their dignity this offseason. A cloud hangs over the Ohio State program from the tattoo and jersey fiasco among other things but this team still has a lot of heart and can win the Big Ten. Look for freshman Qb Braxton Miller to emerge and don't be surprised if Luke Fickell is the head coach for the long term if he can get this team to another 10 win season.

17. Notre Dame-The Fighting Irish have 16 of 22 starters back from a team that finished off on a high note with 4 consecutive wins. Brian Kelly will look to build on that strong finish and get Notre Dame back to a BCS Bowl game. The schedule is once again tough as they really have no gimme games till they travel to Wake Forest in November. If they can continue to play good to great defense and move the ball with someone emerging at the QB position then the sky is the limit for the Irish. With their schedule they better find a QB fast.

16. TCU-The Rose Bowl Champions. Let that sink in for all you doubters out there. The undefeated Rose Bowl Champions. Look TCU isn't going to be as good as they were last season and will have a tough time winning the Mountain West with Boise State joining the conference. But the defense should once again be really fast. The problem is the offense is basically all new starters. I have a feeling Gary Patterson will get the Horned Frogs back to another double digit win season.

15. Wisconsin-James White and Montee Ball combined for over 2000 yards rushing last season. They just got a great transfer in QB Russell Wilson. I think the Badgers could shock the world and go undefeated but for now I'm keeping them at #15 to put some hunger in them.

14. South Carolina-They are still one of the most boring teams to watch but with both Georgia and Florida down and the rest of the division being shit the Cocks have to be the favorite to win the SEC East. They have explosive playmakers in TB Marcus Lattimore and WR Alshon Jeffery along with the drunk party animal in Stephen Garcia. The ole Ball Coach should have this team back in Atlanta getting squashed in the SEC Championship once again.

13. Florida State-I'm not ready to declare the Semenholes are back but they are getting there. Last year they took a major step forward from the doldrums of the Papa Bowden reign with new coach Jimbo Fisher leading the young FSU team to 10 wins. If Jimbo can get their athletic and very fast defense to step up then FSU could contend for a NC.

12. Virginia Tech-The Hokies are another one of those boring as shit teams to watch but yet they always seem to win. They play Beamer Ball and have the coolest introduction in college football. In all likelihood we will see the Hokies play FSU in the ACC Championship. Actually nobody watches that game. Nevermind.

11. Texas A&M-RB Cyrus Gray is a bad man and a sleeper for the Heisman. The Aggies defense should be a top 20 unit this year. This is the year for Mike Sherman to take the Aggies to the next level. They have a ton of returning starters from a team that won 9 games last season. It's been since 1988 since they have won a Big 12 Title. They are due.

10. West Virginia-The Mountaineers are going to score a shitload of points this fall. QB Geno Smith should flourish in new coach Dana Holgorsen's fast tempo, high octane offense that worked so well in Stillwater. The LSU game in Morgantown could help decide who plays for a National Championship.

9. Arkansas-The Razorbacks did lose Ryan Mallett but they got one of the best RBs in the nation in Knile Davis. Davis was unstoppable in the second half of the season once he secured the starting job. The defense should be good enough to win consistently in the toughest division in the country. BTW Bobby Petrino is still a piece of shit.

8. Oklahoma State-If the Cowboys had just some kind of defense then they would be a top 5 team easy this year. Their offense should be outstanding with all 5 starters returning on the line and the nation's best WR in Justin Blackmon back looking to win another Biletnikoff Award. I probably have them a little overrated because of their offense being so lethal but if they want to start winning some Big 12 titles they need to focus on that atrocious defense.

7. Boise State-I have mucho respect for this "Smurf" program. They lost one game the last two seasons and it was because their kicker pulled a Finkle. I would have them in the top 5 with Kellen Moore coming back and a top 5 defense but I just can't get over that blue field. It's just so fucking irritating and nauseating to watch on TV. I have a gut feeling they are going to crush UGA in the Georgia Dome on their way to yet another undefeated season. Yeah that Chris Petersen coach knows what he is doing up there in Idaho.

6. Nebraska-The Huskies are now in the Big Ten and will get a chance to make a great first impression with a road game in Madison the first week of October. The schedule doesn't do them any favors as they get Ohio State the following week at home but then they got back-to-back roadies vs Penn State and Michigan in November. Look for QB Taylor Martinez to run his ass for the Huskers and get them to a Big Ten Championship game.

5. Stanford-Andrew Luck pulled a shocker and came back for his senior season in what could be another magical season at The Farm. Head Coach Jim Harbaugh has left for the NFL but offensive coordinator David Shaw got the promotion so there should be some continuity in the program. They get their two toughest opponents at home with the Ducks and Notre Dame coming to visit in November. Those two games will determine if they make it back to another BCS game and if Luck can secure his Heisman.

4. Alabama-Bama would have been #1 on my poll but they lost too many pieces from a team that people tend to forget still lost 3 games last season. I don't care what you say. Losing your QB, Heisman winning tailback, best WR, best offensive lineman, and best defensive tackle is going to hurt. You can't just simply plug in guys and expect them to put up similar or better numbers at those key positions. Yes Nick Saban is a God but even he lost 3 games last season. He has to get that hunger attitude back on the team and it's definitely possible since they have the easiest SEC schedule.

3. LSU-If there is a team in the SEC West that can match up with Bama in terms of overall talent you have to look at the Bayou Bengals. Every season they bring in a top 10 recruiting class and last season they were two close defeats away from playing for a National Championship. Sure Les Miles eats grass on the sidelines and is the luckiest coach in America but he has won a National Title and is poised to make another legit run this season. They have 4 top ten teams on their schedule with Oregon, West Virginia, Alabama and Arkansas on the docket along with Florida and Auburn. If Miles can get through with just one loss they should be playing for a National Title.

2. Oregon-Scoregon finished just short of their first national title last year with a tough 22-19 loss to Auburn in the Glendale. This year they return key starters in RB LaMichael James and Qb Darron Thomas and the offense will look to build off being the nation's best last year. It will be interesting to see how they do against LSU in the season opener at Cowboys Stadium. You know LSU will look to repeat what Auburn did and control the line of scrimmage. Whoever wins that game to start off the season should be the #1 team. Oregon has to be the odds-on favorite to win the PAC-12 over Stanford.

1.Oklahoma-If there is one guy who could seriously challenge Andrew Luck for the Heisman it's Landry Jones. Jones will again put up video game stats with a top 5 scoring offense. The problem with the Sooners has been the defense. Last season they ranked 53rd in the nation in total defense. If they can get to top 20 I see them going undefeated. The Sooners have the most elite talent and experience back at key positions and a manageable schedule which is why they are #1 preseason. This year they do have to travel to Tallahassee to play a FSU team that is looking for revenge after getting slaughtered last year in Norman. Bob Stoops won a NC in his second year. The natives are growing restless and this could be the season Stoops gets his hands on a second Sears Trophy.

Dirk Nowitzki is kinda popular in Wuerzburg, Germany

Yesterday was "Dirkday" in the big 7-footer's hometown of Wuerzburg, Germany. I think it's safe to say the guy is kind of a big deal over there. It's brats, beer and then Dirk. Not necessarily in that order.

Jelena Jankovic Changing Underwear During Tennis Match

Ahhhh....she had me at skidmarks. There is nothing hotter than seeing Jelena Jankovic change underwear during the middle of a tennis match. There is just something wildly attractive about a girl having to change roos because she might have had a little tinkle or splat. Or maybe she got a little bit of the Hershey stain from doing these splits.

Obviously Jankovic has inspired me to post this great Dave Chappelle "skit"....

SportsCrack loves you Jankovic! You keep shittin' yourself girl!

The Sprite Beer Pong Slam Dunk Contest

What can you do other then just tip your hat and say good game sir? It's one thing to play drunk beer pong straight up with outside jump shots. It's a whole new ballgame though when someone takes it to the rim and throws down their dignity along with a crushing victory and a soiled floor covered in Natty Light.

Video via ExtraMustard