JOKE OF THE DAY

The Best Pub

A Scottish man, an Englishman and an Irishman were sitting in a pub discussing the best pubs around. The Englishman says, ''There's a pub in the West Midlands where the landlord buys you a drink for every that you buy.'' The Scot is not impressed and says, ''That's nothing! In the Highlands every time you buy a drink the landlord buys you five.'' At this point the Englishman is fairly impressed. The Irishman, totally unimpressed, says ''That's nothing. In Dublin there's this pub where the landlord buys your drinks all night, and then when the bar shuts he takes you into a room and makes love to you.'' The Scot and Englishman are well impressed and ask if the Irishman goes there a lot. He replies ''No, but my sister told me about it.''

RANDOM THOUGHT
I think Michael Vick going to the big house could turn into the best thing to happen to the Atlanta Falcons. Joey Harrington wants to lead this team and prove his worth in the NFL. Vick was never going to be a great QB or lead his team to a Super Bowl because of his lack of maturity, leadership, and efficiency as a passer.
Anybody that can come out of the NFL albatross known as the Detroit Lions who wants to prove his worth and is ready to be a leader has my vote over a guy who goes by the names of Ookie and Ron Mexico.
Maybe the Falcons franchise took a turn for the best with Vick getting incarcerated. What does the Sportscrack nation think?

NEW SHIRTS!
Get ready for the College Football season with some new, kick ass shirts from Sportscrack.com.

He is a pimp daddy with the sweetest ride, now get the shirt.


Supposedly Superman wears this underneath his leotard Florida fans.

Not only are they Crimi"noles" but they are way overrated.

MOODY FOLLOWS THE MONEY TO FLORIDA
"I followed my heart," said Moody, the Trojans' second-leading rusher last season. "It's when you get that feeling that you know something is right and you can't really describe."

Um, I'm going to call BS on this one. Florida tailbacks have averaged less carries per game than USC in the last 5 years so it can't be a better opportunity. I thought the Poodle used to be a shady guy, but now it is all Urban Cryer. First he whines his way into the BCS National Championship game, then he steals recruits from other schools, and now he gets starting tailbacks from USC to transfer to Florida. Nothing seems shady about that at all to me...


Let's hear it from Emmanuel himself what a great family man Cryer is...

AND YOU THOUGHT I WAS STUPID

Wow! I think we just found a new sideline reporter for CBS. This clip is from Saturday's Miss Teen USA pageant with the South Carolina contestant proving blondes do have more fun. I don't know which is more funny: her answer or AC Slater's look on his face after she delivers one of the most horrible answers known to mankind.

DREAM COME TRUE

I watched the whole Little League World Series game yesterday not because I like little boys but because I like to see ballplayers hustling and giving it their all (I'm looking at you Andruw Jones). Watching Dalton Carriker hit a walk-off game winning home run has got to be the pinnacle of his life. As soon as he hit it his face lit up like he saw he first live nipple the thought that came to my degenerate mind was "he is going to get so much ass tonight." Is that wrong? If you are 12 years old and you just became a national hero on national television wouldn't you expect just a little action. You know Carriker is never going to have a bigger moment in his life. He could come up with a cure for cancer but still people will remember him as the kid with braces who made Japanese kids cry.

All right, I'm going to try to stop acting like an asshole and say congratulations to the Warner Robins little league team. You made this Georgian baseball player proud the way you played the game and I don't think I've seen a better moment than immediately after the game when both teams were hugging each other. It takes a lot for me to get choked up but to see those young Japanese kids crying because they knew they would have to go home and take a lashing for their incompetence; and yet the big, proud Americans embraced them and showered them with hugs shows that this is the greatest, most powerful country in North America.

U-S-A bitches.