BEER OF THE WEEK

Smithwick's Irish Ale is the beer of choice this week and I must say I enjoy it's malty dark flavor. From the same brewers of big brother Guinness, Smithwick's was first brewed in 1710 and it claims to be Ireland's oldest ale. John Smitwick came up with the original recipe for the Ale almost 300 years ago in Ireland and to this day it still delivers a distinctive taste reminiscent of Guinness but not as heavy on the belly and of course not as dark but more of an amber color. If I had to rate I would put it at an 8 on the Fairchild scale and I highly recommend going out and trying it. Currently you can buy an 18 mix-pack of Smithwick's, Guinness, and Bass Ale at Costco for around $18.

THIS IS WHY GOLF PISSES OFF PEOPLE

I don't consider myself a scratch golfer or anything, hell, I will admit it, I suck balls at golf. But I have played a considerable amount in my now 29 years of existence and yet I have never hit a hole in one. I've come close a couple of times but God hates me and decided to lip them out just to fuck with my fragile emotional state and thus forcing me to curse him and drink more beer. Anyways, getting on to the point, I have never even played with somebody who has hit a hole in one and yet I read shit like this happening and it just pisses me off...

Legally Blind Golfer, 92, Gets First Ace

CLEARWATER, Fla. — What are the odds? Leo Fiyalko, 92, a legally blind golfer with macular degeneration, scored a hole-in-one at a Clearwater country club.

Fiyalko's 110-yard shot with a five iron was his first hole-in-one. He's been golfing for 60 years.

"It's my first hole-in-one, and I never saw it," Fiyalko said. He said he was just trying to put his ball on the green.

A plaque at the Cove Cay Country Club now marks his achievement.

Dude, a fucking plaque is all he gets! He should get a state named after him or be the frontrunner for the Democratic Party(come on a black man and a woman, yeah right, you might as well have a clown in a wheelchair) Nomination. This is why a lot of people do not consider golf a real sport. You can be 400 pounds and apparently now you can be as old as a Dick Clark special and even blind and yet you still have the chance to hit a hole in one.

Seriously fuck Tiger Woods and fuck that old man for ruining my Friday. Maybe if I start wearing a diaper and blindfold myself I can have a chance at a hole in one.

I'M FUKIN MATT DAMON

Remember yesterday when I questioned the validity of Sarah Silverman dating Jimmy Kimmel, well, apparently she has had a fling with Matt Damon...

This clip is from the Jimmy Kimmel Show last night. Yes, I finally watched the Kimmel Show and if they continue to produce funny skits like this and "Emmitt Smith Wordsmith" then it might become another late night watching drunk show. This is a step up in my book. In college it was late night drunk and high night show for Conan O'brien. In high school it was late night masturbatory sessions to squiggle lines of Adam and Eve or something like that. I'm moving up in the world people, maybe someday I can eff Matt Damon!

By the way kudos to Matt Damon for still being a cool guy and willing to do funny skits like this despite all his fame and money.

Video HT: WWTDD

GOOD LORD ERIN ANDREWS!

Erin, you don't even want to know what you are bringing to my table and millions of sports fans nightly with those boots. Fellow blogger Mac G wonders if her overexposure is now going to be her downfall. I say hell no! Only age and sweaty booze filled nights full of sexcapades will bring her down.

I feel bad for some of the poor souls who can not handle her dangerous looks when approached by Andrews. I mean look at these Penn State kid's faces when the dangerous cougar comes in for the hunt...They are so awestruck it reminds me of the first time you see your first live female nipple as a kid. You don't know what to do but you know what you saw would forever change your life. And to this we must applaud but be mindful of the hot cougar known as the Erin Andrews. Look at the kid with the white fro. It's like he is staring right into her brain trying to Jedi mind fuck her into dropping every piece of clothing right there and now. He is screaming inside "TAKE IT OFF NOW, NOW I SAY" while knowing later he will go home and cry himself to sleep because he will never get to experience something so hot in his life again.

God bless you Erin Andrews. You make ESPN tolerable 2% of the time.

BEST PLAYER IN THE GAME?

There is no denying the unbelievable talent that is Alexander Ovechkin but can anybody really argue or have a case of there being a better player in the NHL today? After last night's performance against Montreal it is becoming a mute point. Ovechkin now leads the NHL in goals and points scored after a 5 point performance after getting chopped in the face by an opponent's stick nonetheless. I love the game Sidney Crosby brings to the ice everyday and of course I have an undying admiration for how hard and talented Ilya Kovalchuk plays everyday for the Thrashers but Ovechkin is the best player I have ever seen in person. He can do basically anything he wants with the puck on his stick and plays with a vibrant energy that is so boundless it pulsates out to his teammates and carries the crowd with him. If Ovechkin was American I believe he would be right up there with the Tom Brady's and Derek Jeter's of the world in terms of consumer sports appeal. If you have the chance to go see Ovechkin play in an arena near you I highly recommend it. The chances of him scoring are extremely high but even if he doesn't just watching him skate the ice is a show itself. He never gives up on a play and is not a pretty boy when it comes to hitting people. He will lay out an opponent if he has to and I respect that because he wants to win more than any other guy on the ice.