Monday, February 11, 2008

ATLANTA HAWKS ROOKIES VICTIMIZED


I know this is tame to what I would have done, which is put a couple of dead hookers in their hotel room and called it the "Dennis Rodman's Rules Night" to see which rookie could get rid of the body the quickest, but when you suck as bad as the Atlanta Hawks at basketball you do stuff like this...

The first blow was struck by the veterans, who deposited 14 large bags of popcorn into the cars of unsuspecting rookies Acie Law IV and Mario West during practice Monday - rookie center Al Horford was out of the country tending to a personal matter and did not attend practice.

The rookies were caught off guard, though West discovered he had been hit first and text messaged Law from the popcorn-splattered player parking lot to warn him that were the victims of well-planned sneak attack.

But not even advance warning was enough to calm Law, who vowed to get revenge on his veteran teammates.



Popcorn? You have to be fucking kidding me? At least sprinkle some crack on the shit and make it a good joke. Or maybe get the panties of the wife of the head coach and put a love note addressed to them in their locker. Nevermind. You can't pull off a better practical joke than getting drafted by the worst franchise in the NBA. Anything else is tame in measure.

CHRIS BERMAN: YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME

Berman pulling some game with vino talk...

Look at this broad playing with her hair in front of him, she is practically fucking him right there on stage. Berman has sick game. It just goes to show you what the show bizness can do for an unattractive jackass. Blogging not so much. Yeah, I need a real job.

CHRIS BERMAN: YEAH, FUK THEM!

These videos are priceless. I used to hate Chris Berman but now I think I have a serious man crush on the guy. I'm serious. Now I can see how he gets all these hot girls. He has the mouth of a sailor but the pockets are deep enough to bring em home...

"I'm sure you can't wait fukhead!"

CHRIS WHALEY PICKS TEXAS

For those of you still feeling bad for the Texas Longhorns and their recent recruiting loss of #1 RB recruit Darrell Scott to Colorado, well, take a look at this video of 2009 recruit Chris Whaley who just committed to Texas...

Yeah, Whaley is ridiculous with a capital R. I know the 2008 class is still being signed and delivered(Terrelle Pryor will eventually pick somebody before the baseball season starts) but schools like USC, Texas, and Georgia are off to great starts recruiting for their 2009 class. Whaley might be the best of the bunch when all is said and done. Film doesn't lie. Whaley can flat out run. Unless he is playing in the Mexican Midget League then my judgement is null and void regarding Whaley.

MATTISON ACCEPTS RAVENS POSITION, HUNTER LEFT OUT IN COLD


The long rumored Greg Mattison to Baltimore Ravens linebacker's coach finally materialized yesterday according to GatorSports.com. So why does this matter in the never ending world of coaches changing professions? Because apparently Florida head coach Urban Meyer promised prize recruit Omar Hunter that the rumors of Mattison leaving shortly after National Signing Day were not true to secure his commitment to the Florida program. But of course we can laugh at this because we already know what Meyer says is 50% full of bull and the other remains full of the not so pleasant smell coming from the swamps of Gainesville.

So now Hunter is left with a new defensive coordinator and a whole new set of lies and promises sure to leave him wondering why he would ever choose Florida in the second place. Yes, second place because Florida is garbage with Meyer as a coach and I'm not afraid to say it. The guy has the morals and convictions of a Roger Clemens on the stand. His ego is bigger than his bullshit and his playing and manipulating with the lives of teenagers and their families to advance his well being is nothing short of evil.

Point blank is Urban Meyer is garbage and everybody knows it accept a portion of Gator fans. He used Mattison knowing full well he would be leaving to take a position with the Ravens but kept it quiet in order to secure Hunter's signature on National Signing Day. But of course as long as Meyer has gotten what he wants this matters little to himself. All of these players and coaches under Meyer are just pawns to secure himself a lucrative head coaching position in the NFL. He even has his own wife recruiting players now.

Penn product Braxston Cave, when asked the most interesting thing he heard during his recruitment, had an unusual response, and it came courtesy of Florida coach Urban Meyer.

"(He) had me talk to his wife, so that was kind of interesting," Cave said.

The context of the conversation didn't exactly wow Cave.

"Basically, the weather and how they were on the boat and all this stupid crap," Cave said.


It's great to see some recruits who can actually wipe away the garbage Meyer articulates everyday and see the truth and know it isn't worth it. I just feel bad for Omar Hunter next season when he is riding the pine and won't get his degree because he is part of just another football factory which cares little to nothing about higher education and more about performance between the lines on Saturdays during the Fall.

REASONS NOT TO PLAY HOCKEY-ZEDNIK TAKING A SKATE TO THE THROAT

Reason #1-Chance of getting a skate to the neck...

The Florida Panthers Richard Zednik literally took a skate to the neck and yet despite all the loss of blood managed to skate off the ice with the assistance of a trainer. All I can say is Zednik is a bonafide BADASS. I think the majority of us would be in complete shock at the sight of so much blood gushing out of our neck and the last thing we would remember is us looking at the jumbotron as we slowly faint to the ice. The fact that Zednik could remain calm and collected just made him the toughest guy in sports. It appears Zednik is in stable condition which is a miracle by itself.