And this will be the best and probably only play you ever see out of Division III football. Knox College's Ilir Emini is great at making acrobatic kick catches while falling down when he's not swiping right on the weekdays.
It was just a matter of time before things boiled over for the 2015 Preseason World Series Champs. Displaying their "Natitude" teammates Bryce Harper and Jonathan Papelbon got into a heated argument and then fight after Papelbon bitched about Harper not running hard to first base on a lazy fly ball to left field. It's not uncommon to see a star player dog it to first on a routine out but it's definitely not the norm for the "closer" to challenge the star player on his hustle. Papelbon rubbed a bunch of his teammates wrong last week when he plunked Manny Machado near his head after Machado went yard earlier in the game. Harper was one of the more vocal teammates to say he would be the target for retaliation for a brush back because of Papelbon being an idiot. Clearly the Washington Nationals are a giant clusterfuck this season. They were picked by everybody to win the NL East. They won't even make the playoffs. Manager Matt Williams is dead man walking and he even let Papelbon pitch after getting in the fight yesterday claiming he "didn't see it." Harper is the 22-year-old superstar who has played like a MVP this year but tends to rub some people the wrong way by his brashness. If the Nats are smart they can Williams today and release Papelbon. While Harper may not hustle all the time it's still no excuse for a teammate to go after your throat in the dugout. You handle that shit behind closed doors. Now it's up to the Nationals management to clean up the mess.
I got no words. And you wonder why I roll my eyes every time I hear one of these SEC mouth breathers talk about winning "championships." Tammy loves her Auburn Tigers no doubt but her Cam Newton blow up doll took a lashing Saturday night.
I'm not going to sit here and pretend I didn't start getting a little emotional after watching this. Losing your star QB in Malik Zaire to a broken ankle is heart wrenching. Not just for the team but mostly for the player. Zaire is the unquestioned leader of the offense and perhaps the whole team. He puts his heart on his sleeve so to speak. He wants to be there for his brothers and now he can't go to war with them every Saturday. It sucks. These past two seasons I've never seen a more snakebitten team in terms of injuries than Notre Dame. They have already lost 5 starters for the season and it's only two games in. That's 25% of their starters and they don't get a big break in the schedule like all the SEC out of conference games and Ohio State Big Ten schedule. They play a legit as fuck Georgia Tech team this week followed by Clemson in two weeks and USC.
But there is only one thing Notre Dame can do to get over these massive injury casualties. WIN. And keep winning for guys like Zaire, Folston, Smythe, Jones, and Crawford who can't be on the field with them but are fighting for their guys on the sidelines. Just keep on winning.
10. FSU - For the first half there FSU fans thought they got Notre Dame's sloppy seconds as Everett Golson was struggling vs South Florida. Golson was lights out in the 2nd half and FSU escaped the upset bid at home. They got a tough road game at BC this week.
9. Ole Miss - Two straight 70 plus performances vs Sisters of the Poor will get you hyped up. Now comes the real test. Ole Miss opens up SEC play with Bama in Tuscaloosa. Bama owes them one for last season but the Rebels aren't afraid to compete.
8. TCU - The Horned Frogs got the offense rolling with 70 last week and face another shithole program in SMU this week. It must be nice to play warm up games this time of the year.
7. UCLA - Credit goes to the Bruins for playing BYU this week. Prayers to their nuts though.
6. Georgia Tech - GT comes rolling into Notre Dame this week riding a triple option offense that has been nearly unstoppable for 9 games now. The Yellow Jackets are in unfamiliar territory being the road favorite to a team ranked ahead of them. Maybe they can figure out an equation to solve this problem. 5. Alabama - Huge game vs Ole Miss this week. It's a revenge game for the Crimson Tide since Bo Wallace and the Rebels beat them last year in Oxford. This year in Tuscaloosa expect Saban to come firing out. 4. Texas A&M - Did you know the Aggies only have 3 road games? How is that even possible? Those lucky fuckers get Nevada this week at home. It should be another blowout. 3. Notre Dame - Well what can you say about the Fighting Irish other than they are surviving the game of attrition right now. Losing starters in QB Malik Zaire and TE Durham Smythe would be debilitating for most programs but they won a hard fought road game in Virginia. The true test comes this week vs Georgia Tech. They are going to need to burn all the boats with the next man in philosophy. 2. Baylor - Yes they beat up Lamar. The school that is. Not this guy from Revenge Of The Nerds. Fortunately for the Bears after the hard fought win they get to take a week off to prepare for the juggernaut that is Rice. That's not gay at all.
1. Ohio State - The Buckeyes continued their cupcake schedule with a 38-0 win vs Hawaii. While they didn't cover the 42 point spread nor did they run the ball efficiently they still won by 5 touchdowns and a field goal.
You think the ND boys are letting the devastating news of Malik Zaire's broken ankle get them down?
Absolutely not.
This week's Trick Shot Monday includes Johnny Lattner's Heisman Trophy. It not only got wet but it completed the dream shot from senior captain Joe Schmidt. Way to go Schmidt. Now go out and beat Georgia Tech!
Marshall -3 - Just gotta keep rolling with the Thundering Herd. All they do is beat spreads. With that being said since I'm throwing $$$ on them they probably get their dicks stomped in. So beware but still bet the house on them.
Oklahoma -2 - This is rather simple. The Sooners are the better football team. If Tennessee was in any other conference but the SEC this spread would be double digits. And no it doesn't matter that it's in Neyland. The Vols still suck.
Oregon St +14.5 - Only taking this game because Michigan is just so awful covering spreads especially in the Big House. I think Michigan wins but it will be within two TDs. That half point hook is huge.
Temple +7 - Don't laugh at Penn State just because they got their asses kicked last week to Temple. Temple is the real deal. They are a sneaky good team and their defense is legit. They will beat up on Gunner Kiel.
South Florida +28 - The Everett Golson effect. He had no turnovers last week which means he's due for 7-8 this game. FSU will win but it will be within 20.
Iowa St +3 - I'm only taking the Cyclones because they are home dogs and literally everything has gone wrong with the Hawkeyes the past two weeks.
Notre Dame -13 - ND should win easily. 42-13 type game. I'm not even going to explain.
Georgia Tech -29.5 - Tech will win by 40 points easily vs Tulane. All they gotta do is run the ball 60 times and it won't be within 6 TD.s.
If "throwback" means badass then yes, Herschel Walker, Nick Chubb is indeed one of those.
Chubb also is getting way too much tread on his tires. With a game versus the imploding Vanderbilt Commodores it would be wise for Mark Richt and Georgia to limit Chubb's carries so he can be ready to go 30 plus a game vs Bama.
But what do I know? Richt has produced way more National Championship game appearances at UGA then I ever will.
It doesn't get any more Alpha Male than Notre Dame head coach Brian Kelly stating his football team "we're gonna beat Texas' ass!" on the season premiere of his new Showtime show "A Season With Notre Dame Football."
And not only did he say it but he went out and kicked and stomped Bevo right in their burnt orange manbags 38-3. Just straight up kicked Texas ass like he said they would.
Move over Donald Trump. Take a seat Bill Belichick. There is a new boss in America.
On and most certainly off the field Notre Dame is not the same without linebacker Joe Schmidt cutting it up in front of his teammates. Well done Schmidty. Well done.
"Next Man In" is a great team slogan and it's going to be needed all season if the Notre Dame Fighting Irish are going to make a run for the playoffs. They have already lost 3 starters (DL Jarron Jones, nickel back Shaun Crawford and now tailback Tarean Folston) to season ending knee injuries. This is where depth and preparation becomes keys to having a successful season. Freshman RB Josh Adams stepped up and played brilliantly vs Texas. Freshman DT Jerry Tillery had a sack vs Texas. You gotta have guys step up and be the "next man in" because make no mistake in 11 days when they face Georgia Tech they are going to need all 80 plus scholarship players in order to beat the Yellow Jackets and their vaunted Triple Option offense.
Well if you ever wondered what a real life Peter Griffin would look like I present you with Mississippi State super fan "Sting Ray." When he's not calling into The Paul Finebaum Show (HEY PAWL!!!!) he's putting extra mayonnaise on his Subway footlong.
No joke his little cowbell shrine scares the shit out of me. This guy has probably skinned stray cats as a sacrifice for the LSU game. Thank baby Jesus ND doesn't play Miss St or he would probably catch my Irish ass and use my skin as a raincoat while rubbing himself off to Metallica's For Whom the Bell Tolls.
I'm not saying "Sting Ray" is a psychopath but I'm not going to act like he isn't the love child of Jerry Sandusky and Jared Fogle.
10 Boise St - Struggled a bit with Washington and their former coach but this team is the one non power 5 conference with a chance to make the playoffs.
9 TCU - I'm already starting to get on the overrated bandwagon with the Horned Frogs. They didn't play well on the road at Minnesota but still won the game.
8 UCLA - Freshman QB Josh Rosen looked incredible in his first start vs UVA. They gotta be the early favorites to win the PAC 12.
7 Georgia Tech - Granted they played a dogshit team but does anybody see a team that can stop their triple option with Justin Thomas at QB? It's unstoppable. I fully expect them to run all over my Irish in 12 days.
6 Auburn - Jeremy Johnson looked terrible. The whole team played awful in the 2nd half vs Louisville. But they won and that's all that matters. They will get better as the season goes on.
5 Alabama - Bama destroyed Wisconsin which wasn't shocking. But they are so damn consistent and they know what they have to do to reach the playoffs.
4 Texas A&M - Honestly I thought Arizona State was going to blow them out but of course Vegas knows what they are talking about. The Aggies throttled a good Sun Devils team. Right now in the all too early top 10 the Aggies are the best team in the SEC and OMG Myles Garrett is a fucking beast.
3 Baylor - I've been saying it all offseason. Art Briles will get this Baylor team to the playoffs.
2 Notre Dame - The Fighting Irish fucking destroyed Texas 38-3 and dominated in all facets of the game. Malik Zaire looks like the real deal having won his first two starts vs LSU and now Texas. The win didn't come without a huge loss though as starting tailback Tarean Folston is done with a ACL tear.
1 Ohio St - The Buckeyes now have 3 Heisman candidates. Whoever starts at QB, Zeke Elliott and now Braxton Miller. Their schedule is a fucking joke till they play Michigan State in November. It would take a major fuck up for this team to lose before the playoffs.
I guess if you had any doubts about whether Braxton Miller could make the transition from QB to WR this ridiculous move erased those. Braxton aka The X Factor pulled off an insane circle button move on the hapless Hokies defense last night that left some knees buckled and shoelaces untied.
Thanks to Braxton I lost my one bet of the weekend after going perfect from Thursday-Saturday. For some reason I listened to Twitter nation and took the Hokies as 14.5 underdogs when I felt in my heart the Buckeyes would blow them out because of the revenge game factor. First half the Twitter world was correct as Va Tech went into half up 17-14. But as soon as the Buckeyes got their footing and knocked out QB Corey Brewer it was over.
The New England Patriots and Tom Brady just skull fucked the NFL and their commissioner Roger Goodell. Just flat out took the DeflateGate suspension and told them to go fuck themselves.
Honestly I always thought the suspension was dumb. I mean the whole time we are talking about football PSI. Who gives a fuck? The Patriots won the Super Bowl fair and square and now it just seems like everyone outside of Massholes wants to find a way they cheated to achieve their dynasty. Newsflash the Patriots are just better. Get over it.