Can't. Stop. Laughing.
Poor Michigan. You finally got the coach everybody wanted in Jim Harbaugh. You finally were going to beat your big brother Sparty and vault back into the top 8 in the rankings. The college football world was again going to be your oyster. And then it all went to shit thanks to an incompetent punter and improbable return.
Ann Arbor is on suicide watch. Prayers sent.
Give them hell Irish. Give them hell.
Notre Dame's season and future rides heavily on this game. With more than 40 recruits in town and USC floundering with an interim head coach it's time for ND to stomp the shit out of the Trojans. ND owes them big time for last season when a defeated and dejected Everett Golson did his best nose dive and sent the Trojans to a brutal blowout.
The season rides on this game. If ND wins they will go on to win out and make the playoffs. If they lose though I got a feeling this team will tank and they will be looking at another 8-4 season.
PREDICTION: ND 37 USC 24
A decade ago before he shattered his leg and is now flipping burgers at McDonalds Alabama WR Tyrone Prothro made a similar catch. Just a wild guess but I think Stanford WR Francis Owusu will go on to do bigger and better things after this catch then Mr. Prothro.
Hands down this is the college football play of the year. Double reverse, QB throw while the receiver is getting mugged catch behind the back. Don't look now but Stanford is now a legitimate playoff contender coming off a humiliating open season loss to Northwestern. They ran all over UCLA and essentially eliminated Mora and his baby blue crew from any significant bowl game this season.
The Atlanta Braves announced today that their new mixed use development surrounding the new Suntrust Park will be called "The Battery." It looks awesome with everything you could possible need surrounding the ballpark. The only thing missing was parking. They might want to think about how people are going to park their cars considering there is no public transportation to the area except for poor people buses. And we all know the people who go to Braves games don't ride the bus. Oh yeah and you might want to start signing some free agents THIS OFFSEASON because the 2017 class is barren with impact bats and arms. Other than that it looks great. Kudos to the Braves for giving the fans something they can be proud of and comfortable with.
— Khalid A. Kareem (@khalid_kareem93) October 14, 2015
As much as I think Clemson head coach Dabo Swinney is a clown in a lot of ways (his vocabulary and dance skills) I gotta respect his rant on the media here. His nerves are rustled about being asked year in and year out about "Clemsoning" that he was bound to eventually burst out especially after back-to-back impressive wins at home vs Notre Dame and Georgia Tech. Someone in the media needs to remind Dabo that "Clemsoning" is not an adjective. It's a verb. Then we can see his purple and orange head burst.
By the way you know this outburst was 100% inspired by Nick Saban. Swinney is such a wanna-be Saban that you know he had this tirade written down and prepared for when the first media member dare asked him about Clemsoning. He finally got to use his Nick Saban media disrespect card. Bravo Dabo. Bravo.
No lie I was completely confused in the first 30 seconds of this video. I could not tell who was Key and who was the real James Franklin. But thankfully I was not as confused as an 8-year-old boy in Jerry Sandusky's basement. Too soon? Nah fuck Penn State.
And this will be the best and probably only play you ever see out of Division III football. Knox College's Ilir Emini is great at making acrobatic kick catches while falling down when he's not swiping right on the weekdays.
It was just a matter of time before things boiled over for the 2015 Preseason World Series Champs. Displaying their "Natitude" teammates Bryce Harper and Jonathan Papelbon got into a heated argument and then fight after Papelbon bitched about Harper not running hard to first base on a lazy fly ball to left field. It's not uncommon to see a star player dog it to first on a routine out but it's definitely not the norm for the "closer" to challenge the star player on his hustle. Papelbon rubbed a bunch of his teammates wrong last week when he plunked Manny Machado near his head after Machado went yard earlier in the game. Harper was one of the more vocal teammates to say he would be the target for retaliation for a brush back because of Papelbon being an idiot. Clearly the Washington Nationals are a giant clusterfuck this season. They were picked by everybody to win the NL East. They won't even make the playoffs. Manager Matt Williams is dead man walking and he even let Papelbon pitch after getting in the fight yesterday claiming he "didn't see it." Harper is the 22-year-old superstar who has played like a MVP this year but tends to rub some people the wrong way by his brashness. If the Nats are smart they can Williams today and release Papelbon. While Harper may not hustle all the time it's still no excuse for a teammate to go after your throat in the dugout. You handle that shit behind closed doors. Now it's up to the Nationals management to clean up the mess.
I got no words. And you wonder why I roll my eyes every time I hear one of these SEC mouth breathers talk about winning "championships." Tammy loves her Auburn Tigers no doubt but her Cam Newton blow up doll took a lashing Saturday night.
HT: Lost Lettermen
I'm not going to sit here and pretend I didn't start getting a little emotional after watching this. Losing your star QB in Malik Zaire to a broken ankle is heart wrenching. Not just for the team but mostly for the player. Zaire is the unquestioned leader of the offense and perhaps the whole team. He puts his heart on his sleeve so to speak. He wants to be there for his brothers and now he can't go to war with them every Saturday. It sucks. These past two seasons I've never seen a more snakebitten team in terms of injuries than Notre Dame. They have already lost 5 starters for the season and it's only two games in. That's 25% of their starters and they don't get a big break in the schedule like all the SEC out of conference games and Ohio State Big Ten schedule. They play a legit as fuck Georgia Tech team this week followed by Clemson in two weeks and USC.
But there is only one thing Notre Dame can do to get over these massive injury casualties. WIN. And keep winning for guys like Zaire, Folston, Smythe, Jones, and Crawford who can't be on the field with them but are fighting for their guys on the sidelines. Just keep on winning.
Go Irish!
Well that about sums up DeflateGate perfectly. Someone broke a bull shit rule. Or did they?
I'm so confused I'm just going to take a nap and pretend it never happened.
The Donald is right about one thing. These hats are the hottest thing out there.
But I don't know if he's just being a constant salesperson or joking or lying but you can get these hats right now.
In fact you can buy the RED MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN HAT right here.
You can buy the original WHITE MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN HAT right here.
And in fact you can buy the NAVY MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN HAT right here.
10. FSU - For the first half there FSU fans thought they got Notre Dame's sloppy seconds as Everett Golson was struggling vs South Florida. Golson was lights out in the 2nd half and FSU escaped the upset bid at home. They got a tough road game at BC this week.
9. Ole Miss - Two straight 70 plus performances vs Sisters of the Poor will get you hyped up. Now comes the real test. Ole Miss opens up SEC play with Bama in Tuscaloosa. Bama owes them one for last season but the Rebels aren't afraid to compete.
8. TCU - The Horned Frogs got the offense rolling with 70 last week and face another shithole program in SMU this week. It must be nice to play warm up games this time of the year.
7. UCLA - Credit goes to the Bruins for playing BYU this week. Prayers to their nuts though.
6. Georgia Tech - GT comes rolling into Notre Dame this week riding a triple option offense that has been nearly unstoppable for 9 games now. The Yellow Jackets are in unfamiliar territory being the road favorite to a team ranked ahead of them. Maybe they can figure out an equation to solve this problem.
5. Alabama - Huge game vs Ole Miss this week. It's a revenge game for the Crimson Tide since Bo Wallace and the Rebels beat them last year in Oxford. This year in Tuscaloosa expect Saban to come firing out.
4. Texas A&M - Did you know the Aggies only have 3 road games? How is that even possible? Those lucky fuckers get Nevada this week at home. It should be another blowout.
3. Notre Dame - Well what can you say about the Fighting Irish other than they are surviving the game of attrition right now. Losing starters in QB Malik Zaire and TE Durham Smythe would be debilitating for most programs but they won a hard fought road game in Virginia. The true test comes this week vs Georgia Tech. They are going to need to burn all the boats with the next man in philosophy.
2. Baylor - Yes they beat up Lamar. The school that is. Not this guy from Revenge Of The Nerds. Fortunately for the Bears after the hard fought win they get to take a week off to prepare for the juggernaut that is Rice. That's not gay at all.
You think the ND boys are letting the devastating news of Malik Zaire's broken ankle get them down?
Absolutely not.
This week's Trick Shot Monday includes Johnny Lattner's Heisman Trophy. It not only got wet but it completed the dream shot from senior captain Joe Schmidt. Way to go Schmidt. Now go out and beat Georgia Tech!
Marshall -3 - Just gotta keep rolling with the Thundering Herd. All they do is beat spreads. With that being said since I'm throwing $$$ on them they probably get their dicks stomped in. So beware but still bet the house on them.
Oklahoma -2 - This is rather simple. The Sooners are the better football team. If Tennessee was in any other conference but the SEC this spread would be double digits. And no it doesn't matter that it's in Neyland. The Vols still suck.
Oregon St +14.5 - Only taking this game because Michigan is just so awful covering spreads especially in the Big House. I think Michigan wins but it will be within two TDs. That half point hook is huge.
Temple +7 - Don't laugh at Penn State just because they got their asses kicked last week to Temple. Temple is the real deal. They are a sneaky good team and their defense is legit. They will beat up on Gunner Kiel.
South Florida +28 - The Everett Golson effect. He had no turnovers last week which means he's due for 7-8 this game. FSU will win but it will be within 20.
Iowa St +3 - I'm only taking the Cyclones because they are home dogs and literally everything has gone wrong with the Hawkeyes the past two weeks.
Notre Dame -13 - ND should win easily. 42-13 type game. I'm not even going to explain.
Georgia Tech -29.5 - Tech will win by 40 points easily vs Tulane. All they gotta do is run the ball 60 times and it won't be within 6 TD.s.
If "throwback" means badass then yes, Herschel Walker, Nick Chubb is indeed one of those.
Chubb also is getting way too much tread on his tires. With a game versus the imploding Vanderbilt Commodores it would be wise for Mark Richt and Georgia to limit Chubb's carries so he can be ready to go 30 plus a game vs Bama.
But what do I know? Richt has produced way more National Championship game appearances at UGA then I ever will.
Oh wait, nevermind.
My favorite part @ASeasonWith
BK: "We are gonna beat Texas ass!"
#NDFB #Team127 pic.twitter.com/aJ10Vz1yWl
— SportsCrack Apparel (@sportscrack) September 10, 2015
On and most certainly off the field Notre Dame is not the same without linebacker Joe Schmidt cutting it up in front of his teammates. Well done Schmidty. Well done.
"Next Man In" is a great team slogan and it's going to be needed all season if the Notre Dame Fighting Irish are going to make a run for the playoffs. They have already lost 3 starters (DL Jarron Jones, nickel back Shaun Crawford and now tailback Tarean Folston) to season ending knee injuries. This is where depth and preparation becomes keys to having a successful season. Freshman RB Josh Adams stepped up and played brilliantly vs Texas. Freshman DT Jerry Tillery had a sack vs Texas. You gotta have guys step up and be the "next man in" because make no mistake in 11 days when they face Georgia Tech they are going to need all 80 plus scholarship players in order to beat the Yellow Jackets and their vaunted Triple Option offense.
Well if you ever wondered what a real life Peter Griffin would look like I present you with Mississippi State super fan "Sting Ray." When he's not calling into The Paul Finebaum Show (HEY PAWL!!!!) he's putting extra mayonnaise on his Subway footlong.
No joke his little cowbell shrine scares the shit out of me. This guy has probably skinned stray cats as a sacrifice for the LSU game. Thank baby Jesus ND doesn't play Miss St or he would probably catch my Irish ass and use my skin as a raincoat while rubbing himself off to Metallica's For Whom the Bell Tolls.
I'm not saying "Sting Ray" is a psychopath but I'm not going to act like he isn't the love child of Jerry Sandusky and Jared Fogle.
Video HT BarStoolSports
I guess if you had any doubts about whether Braxton Miller could make the transition from QB to WR this ridiculous move erased those. Braxton aka The X Factor pulled off an insane circle button move on the hapless Hokies defense last night that left some knees buckled and shoelaces untied.
Thanks to Braxton I lost my one bet of the weekend after going perfect from Thursday-Saturday. For some reason I listened to Twitter nation and took the Hokies as 14.5 underdogs when I felt in my heart the Buckeyes would blow them out because of the revenge game factor. First half the Twitter world was correct as Va Tech went into half up 17-14. But as soon as the Buckeyes got their footing and knocked out QB Corey Brewer it was over.
The New England Patriots and Tom Brady just skull fucked the NFL and their commissioner Roger Goodell. Just flat out took the DeflateGate suspension and told them to go fuck themselves.
Honestly I always thought the suspension was dumb. I mean the whole time we are talking about football PSI. Who gives a fuck? The Patriots won the Super Bowl fair and square and now it just seems like everyone outside of Massholes wants to find a way they cheated to achieve their dynasty. Newsflash the Patriots are just better. Get over it.
Great having our model Josh Anderson in this morning to model the #ShamrockSeries Uniform #GoIrish pic.twitter.com/5VVjBJbAtA
— Ryan Grooms (@NDFBEquipment) August 13, 2015
Bama Fr QB Blake Barnett throwing a 70 yd pass through the uprights yesterday while working with George Whitfield pic.twitter.com/wDpDrN2Qxe
— West Coast Tide Fans (@WCTideFans) August 2, 2015
I'm not 100% convinced this is real but holy shit it's funny. This ballerina/ninja/samurai swordsman shit would never work here in the good ole US of A but I guess it's ok to do in Japan. I don't even know how I would react if I was the pitcher and this asshole came to the plate. Actually I do. Let's just say wannabe Ichiro here would have a new neck tattoo featuring a deep red Rawlings stitches.
I can not fucking wait. Football season needs to get here now.
My early playoff prediction is Ohio State, FSU, Notre Dame and Auburn.
Whenever I feel shitty about baseball I can always fall back and thank the Lord I'm not a Mets fan. They can't even sit down properly without embarrassing themselves. They probably need a Phillies fan to help tie their shoes and a Braves fan to help wipe their ass before leaving the house.
Use promo code SPORTSCRACK50 to get 50% OFF all our shirts on @Etsy
#NDFB #Braves #Cubs #MLB https://t.co/ejTEjw9TWv pic.twitter.com/XFzFP3bMSe
— SportsCrack Apparel (@sportscrack) July 13, 2015
Warning: Trespassers in my DM's will be shot and hung out to dry in public. pic.twitter.com/aPUGkmooat
— Mia Khalifa (@miakhalifa) July 12, 2015
If Ray Rice has taught us anything it's this: if you are going to punch a female don't be caught on camera. Apparently FSU QB De'Andre Johnson did not get the memo. It takes a special kind of person to just throw a haymaker at a chick in the bar. A "CRIMINOLE" one could say.
FoxNews with an interesting take on @McIlroyRory "he's a leprechaun,I can't stand him" @Deadspin @bustedcoverage @BSO pic.twitter.com/Yd9EiBM7ki
— Scott Love (@ScottLLove) July 6, 2015
