WTF HAPPENED TO SNOOP DOGG?

What you just watched above is Snoop's new video for Sensual Seduction. I'm not sure what I think about it other than I miss the old Snoop. I miss the sexual deviant who would poor out his juice on his ho's heads and shit. This Sensual Seduction song is the shit you hear on the dance floor when all the girls decide to pick their drunk mate for the night. I guess the song is good for most guys in a way because it will get girls all ready to bone but I think it sounds cheesy. Plus I hate those stupid ass clubs like FEVER here in Atlanta that all the douchebags go to and spike up their frosted hair while dancing with their girls/whores/strippers who are really just out looking for more blow. This is where this song is destined to be played for the next 2 years. I don't want to hear it at my local watering hole while I cry into my dark Guinness and wonder why I smell and look like an old tent with urine stains. Anyways, be ready to be bombarded with this song every hour for the next 6 months if you listen to the radio.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL TOP 10
Just one more regular season weekend in this bat shit crazy, makes no effing sense college football season. Of course last week we had the top 2 teams go down faster than Britney Spears on a McDonald's french fry so you know this week should be another week of upsets. This week's top 10 is brought to you by Big Funbags who bring you beer.

1. Missouri Tigers-Chase Daniel made Kansas his bitch last week in Arrowhead Stadium. He told her what he was going to do and then did it without any hesitation. I still can't believe I have Mizzou, fucking Mizzou, as the #1 team in the country. More than likely it will be short lived after they lose to Oklahoma in the Big 12 Championship.

2. West Virginia Mountaineers-People are already starting to pile on West Virginia saying they have benefited from an easy schedule and shouldn't get the chance to play for the NC. I'm not one of them. I think the backfield quartet of Pat White, Steve Slaton, Owen Schmitt, and Noel Devine would run all over teams like LSU and USC. They are now in the dreaded #2 spot which has been hell on all other occupants. They have Pitt this week. If Dave Wanny wasn't their coach I would pick Pitt in an upset. West Virginia will destroy Pitt in Morgantown.

3. Ohio State Buckeyes-Played a bullshit schedule and almost went undefeated. If they manage to squeeze into the BCS Title game they could be embarrassed again.

4. Georgia Bulldogs-The hottest team in college football right now, the Dawgs destroyed the Yellow Jackets last week but still are not playing in the SEC Championship this week thanks to the Volunteers win over Kentucky. A Rose Bowl match up with USC would be great TV.

5. LSU Tigers-Les Miles needs to shut his fucking mouth and stop campaigning for his team's right to go to the BCS Title game. You lost two games to a 5 loss team and a 4 loss team. Shut your damn pie hole and just take the Michigan job already.

6. Kansas Jayhawks-The Fighting Mangino's gave it their all against Mizzou but just came short on the scoreboard. Nothing to hang your head about, Kansas fans should be ecstatic they are going to a BCS game. I tip my hat to their unbelievable season so far.

7. Oklahoma Sooners-They get a chance to beat Mizzou twice in one season while also playing for a Big 12 Championship and a right to a BCS game. It should be plenty of motivation along with a healthy Sam Bradford to ruin Mizzou's season.

8. USC Trojans-Dude, you lost to fucking Stanford and still have a shot at winning the PAC-10 with a win over the horrendous UCLA Bruins. Just another reason to punch any dipshit who tries to make an argument that the PAC-10 is in the same league as the SEC.

9. Virginia Tech-They are having their typical Frank Beamer season racking up 9-10 wins against inferior competition. Congrats on that, now go beat Boston College in the ACC Championship.

10. Hawaii Warriors-I was wrong about this team last week. They are the best Non-BCS conference team in the land. If they beat Washington this week they have earned a right to play in a BCS bowl game only because I would rather watch them play then some boring ass ACC team.

Just missed the cut: Florida Gators, Illinois Fighting Illini, Arizona State SunDevils, Boston College Eagles

TO ALL NEW YORKERS
This is the perfect cartoon tribute in honor of all your insane babbling. The BCS is broken down by the #1 Giants fan in the whole wide New York Metropolis. As I have always said, New York is where crazy assholes are born to live and Florida is where they eventually go to bitch and die.


Hmmm, Boston Can Suck it, I think I like it. Fuck, I'm becoming one of those a-holes. Must abort Carl from memory!

Video: WithLeather via Adultswim

THE COACHING CAROUSEL
It didn't take long for Ole Miss to find their new coach in Houston Nutt. Erik over at DeepSouthSports gives his take with guarded optimism. The crazy bastard brings lunacy to a program that for my lifetime has always sucked and probably always will blow nuts minus the one season David Cutcliffe was there with Eli Manning. And oh yeah, good job firing Cutcliffe by the way Ole Miss and replacing him with the Ragin Cajun Ogre and only giving him 3 years! Clearly this was a racist move on their part. Ogre racism must not be tolerated. Guys like Mark Mangino, Ralph Friedgen, and Charlie Weis would still be coordinators eating 5000 calories a day while sitting in a dark room drawing up plays with french fries and Little Debbies.

Anyways, here is a rather hysterical look at the butchering of college football coaches by no other than America's favorite Governator...

Kudos to TigerDroppings for the clip.

R.I.P. SEAN TAYLOR
This morning Sean Taylor, aka the best college safety I have ever seen play, died from a gunshot wound to his leg. Taylor was a warrior on the field and seemed to be turning his life around after some run-ins with the law and it is just a shame to see his life cut short at the age of 24.

While at the University of Miami Taylor developed into the best college safety to possibly ever play the game. He could hit. And I don't mean love taps, I mean this mofo could lay down the wood on opposing receivers. He also could run. When he got the ball in his hands he was like fellow Hurricane Ed Reed in that he had the ability to take it to the house for a pick 6.

My condolences go out to his family. He died trying to protect his family in his own home and I think everybody can agree we would have done the same thing and protected the ones we love. I hope the authorities can find the person or people responsible for this senseless tragedy and bring justice as swiftly and ferociously as Sean Taylor hit receivers on the playing field.

Godspeed Taylor...


And here are some highlights from his Wrecking Crew days at Da U...

ERIC CARTMAN DOING COLORADO INTRODUCTIONS
Ha, those damn Boulder hippies with their butt kissers...

HOUSTON NUTT'S HAVE BEEN CHOPPED
Another one bites the dust. Joining Ted Roof, Chan Gailey, Bill Callahan, Dennis Franchione, Ed Orgeron, and Lloyd Carr in the not coming back club because their alumni hate their fucking guts. Nutt will be sorely missed by all of the Arkansas faithful. In fact, we wanted to get some video footage of the fans paying homage to the Lord Nutt Bag but we felt like showing Necks urinating and defecating on Houston's front yard would be a little too embarrassing and controversial for this holy blog.

So we leave you with this, a Real Men of Genius tribute to Nutt, in other words called just give the damn ball to D-MAC and let him do his thing you crazy bastard...

SORRY KREMER, BELICHICK IS A BIGGER MAN THAN YOU
Wes Walker knows who his sugar momma is and it isn't you Andrea Kremer!

The "Coming Mommy" statement from Al Michaels was disturbing and awkward, like the first time you saw Zed's dungeon in Pulp Fiction.

Video HT: AwfulAnnouncing

CHAN GAILEY OUT, GEORGIA FANS WORLDWIDE SHED A TEAR
The latest lame duck coach to get fired is Chan Gailey. Somewhere Yellow Jacket fans will rejoice, toast their Zimas, and get back to licking their own nuts because no one else will do it. And by nuts I mean testicles, both on the men and women for those who have never been to a Georgia Tech football game.

Anyways, it was obvious why Gailey needed to be canned. He finished 0-6 against the Bulldogs. His overall record was 44-32 with a 28-20 ACC record which just wasn't going to cut it especially when the Florida State's and Miami's of the conference were playing like shit and yet Tech still couldn't manage to win an ACC Championship.

I have no idea who will be the next Tech coach but unless they somehow manage to get George O'Leary back they are not going to beat Georgia for a long time. Georgia brought their C game on Saturday and still handled the Yellow Jackets with relative ease.

Bobby Ross is available!

IT'S OFFICIAL: POLICE GUARD DOGS ARE RACIST ASSHOLES
This little gem is from Saturday night's Iron Bowl. Now I could understand a dog attacking a player if it was a game between USC and Miami because we all know if they don't make the NFL after college they will eventually go to jail in their lifetime. And of course that is no guarantee with all the OJ Simpson's and Sean Taylor's of the world. Maybe the dog is a secret BAMA fan who was hired by Nick Saban to bite the Auburn players in their own stadium.

I don't know, you be the judge: Racist BAMA dog or just a good boy!



Video HT: TheWizardofOdds

MY NEW FAVORITE REFEREE

ACC ref Walt Cherry tells it like it is. #69 was clearly "giving him the business" and for this you must be punished. I love refs that are honest and tell it like it is.

HT: AwfulAnnouncing via Mr Irrelevant

LOU HOLTZ WEEKLY PEP TALK
You know the Jayhawks have hit the big time when Lou Holtz is giving you pep talks...

The game of the year in College Football starts Saturday night at 8 pm on ABC. If you miss watching it for any other reason then family emergency(must be relative in household), death, passed out drunk then don't ever come back to this blog because I hate you already!

D-MAC BACK IN HEISMAN RACE

Darren McFadden put Arkansas on his broad shoulders and led them to a huge upset over the #1 ranked LSU Tigers. Running for 3 touchdowns and throwing for another, D-MAC rushed for 206 yards against a stout Tigers defense to up his season total to 1725. Will it be enough to vault him back to the top of the Heisman race? It all depends on what Tim Tebow does tomorrow against Florida State. If he shits the bed so to speak then I think McFadden has left the best memory in the Heisman voters heads. But if Tebow has his typical 4 touchdown game then he is the winner even if the Gators lose tomorrow. You simply can't ignore the ridiculous Playstation game stats Tebow has put up in the always rough and tough SEC this season.

So who are you taking? The Ultimate QB campaign or the D-MAC for Hei5man campaign?

Honestly I would not have a problem with either one of them winning. Both are tremendous athletes and are playing at the top of their game. And both guys are really great players and not just average talent like Troy Smith or Jason White who only won it because they played on great teams.

WEEKEND PICKS
Loosen up the belt a couple of notches and dive into these Thanksgiving weekend picks.
NEBRASKA +3.5 AT COLORADO
The Cornhuskers finally got their shit together and crushed Kansas State last week. The Buffs have been up and down all season and their recent trend is down. Who ever wins this game gets a bowl invitation to the Alzheimers Classic.
Prediction: Nebraska 27 Colorado 24

ARKANSAS +13.5 AT LSU
The Razorbacks know their coach Houston Nutt is on the way out and this will be a huge motivation tool for the players to play their A game this Friday. On the opposite end you have LSU who knows their coach Les Miles is going to ditch them after the season for Michigan. I think this game will be extremely close to the bitter drunk end.
Prediction: LSU 35 Arkansas 28

TEXAS -7 AT TEXAS A&M
The Aggies have been playing like garbage all season long. They beat the Longhorns last year but Colt McCoy and company remember the sting all too well. Good bye Franchione, this will be a blowout.
Prediction: Texas 42 Texas A&M 14

BOISE STATE +3 AT HAWAII
I like the Broncos in this one because I think they are the better team. In a game full of hideous uniforms and fat Samoans, the Broncos will end Hawaii's dream season and any chance of Colt Brennan getting invited to New York City.
Prediction: Boise State 254 Hawaii 252

VIRGINIA TECH -3.5 AT VIRGINIA
The Cavaliers have been scraping by every week until they met the heartless Hurricanes. Unfortunately for the Cavaliers the Hokies team they face on Saturday has a lot of heart and wants to play for the ACC Championship. Cavalier fans will cry into their apple martini's after this one.
Prediction: Hokies 20 Virginia 10

TENNESSEE AT KENTUCKY -2.5
The Wildcats haven't beaten the Volunteers in like a billion years. If the Vols win this one they will go the SEC Championship only to get destroyed by LSU. It isn't going to happen. Andre' Woodson plays the game of his life and helps the Georgia Bulldogs reach the SEC Title game.
Prediction: Kentucky 24 Tennessee 20

CONNECTICUT +17.5 AT WEST VIRGINIA
This seems like way too big of a spread for this game. I will take the Huskies with the points, West Virginia with the win.
Prediction: West Virginia 38 UCONN 28

OREGON AT UCLA +1.5
No Dennis Dixon means a Leaf gets to show his stuff. Big Ruh Roh on that one for the Ducks.
Prediction: UCLA 17 Oregon 14

GEORGIA -4 AT GEORGIA TECH
This game will be over by the third quarter unless Tashard Choice has a great game. The Bulldogs are more talented at every position on the field and are better coached. I'm actually kind of shocked the spread is so little. Special K will have a game to remember. It was good knowing you Chan Gailey.
Prediction: Georgia 42 Georgia Tech 20

NOTRE DAME +3.5 AT STANFORD
When was the last time the Irish actually won their last game of the season? I believe it was right before the Pilgrims destroyed the Indians with smallpox. The Irish are undefeated on the left coast this season and Jimmy Clausen will feel right at home in his native state. The Irish finally put together a winning streak.
Prediction: Notre Dame 35 Stanford 31

FSU +14 AT FLORIDA
I think the Seminoles will be able to put points on the board against the horrible Gator's secondary to keep them in the game. Tebow will be too much for the Criminoles to handle though.
Prediction: Florida 28 Florida State 24

MISSOURI +1.5 AT KANSAS
The game of the year as it should be called, this traditional rival will be a great one in Arrowhead Stadium. The Jayhawks come in undefeated behind the steady play of Todd Reesing. The Tigers come in smoking behind an incredible offense led by Chase Daniel and Jeremy Maclin. Who ever wins gets the chance to play Oklahoma for the Big 12 Championship.
Prediction: Mizzou 45 Kansas 35

IRON BOWL
Nick Saban is a douche!
Prediction: Auburn 26 Alabama 10

ANDREA KRAEMER WANTS THE BRADY D

Wow, that was awkward. Kraemer just laid it out there.

"See you next Sunday" she says as she bats her fake Jersey girl eyelashes as her panties slowly wet themselves. I think if I am Tom Brady, and thank god I'm not because seriously, the guy has an asshole for a chin, I would be getting some serious ribbing from my teammates.

I wonder if Randy Moss has fucked with his psyche and sent him some fake Kraemer love notes along with some granny panties from one of his ho's. This could get very interesting. I could see one of the dickheads from the 1972 Dolphins putting Andrea up to this. Or maybe she just really craves the Brady D.

Somewhere Giselle is steaming mad over this. Or is she?

By "steaming mad" I mean fondling herself while thinking of Sportscrack love sessions.

Video via Deadspin

FRAT BOYS

I don't really have a reason to post this sketch other than I thought it was funny. Seeing Christopher from the Sopranos hanging with Will Ferrell while acting like douchebag Frat Boys is funny you know. And by funny I mean shit in your pants till you can't shit anymore and then you just have your guts spilling out type funny.

CHRIS DOG...WE'RE #1!!

EXCESSIVE CELEBRATION?

HT: BarstoolSports

EXCUSE ME

I just found this wonderful groin tingling website of the Reef Girls Competition. I don't know what Reef Girls are but I do know they will now haunt me in my dreams and I am thinking about getting a one way ticket to Chile to watch the next contest. I think I'm going to have to cancel the Vegas bachelor party, it can't measure up to something like this. Beach, babes, hot weather, thongs, booze. You know what, fuck, I'm at a lost for words right now. Here are some other pictures...





I told her to stop staring at me but she won't listen.

HUSKER NATION: FEAR THE KATY, COME FOR THE MOTOR BOATS
Our buddy MacG found this glorious video about the strange, insane, often bizarre yet some what wonderful psychotic football world in the minds of Nebraska football fans. See, MacG is an insufferable Cornhusker's fan who longs for the days of Tom Osborne roaming the sidelines while they ran the I-formation down opponent's throats and stuffed the run with the Blackshirts defense. Now a days the only thing you can call the Nebraska defense is the Black Skirts.

Most of us don't know what being a Nebraska fan is like, well now you can get a little glimpse.

Fear the Katy.

But always come back for the motor boats from the lovely Nikki...

I love you Nikki!

JIM DON'T DO IT
Hey Mr. Knox, please don't jump on that semen stained rough surface couch in Manhattan, you might..oh shit, never mind, go get em Cowboy...