LETTERMAN'S TOP 10 PHONE MESSAGES LEFT FOR A-ROIDS

I thought the digs at Michael Phelps were pretty funny. The Jeter one not so much. We all know Jeter hit that old bag up his rookie season.



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BRETT FAVRE ANNOUNCES RETIREMENT, WANTS A-ROIDS HEADLINES

I could give two shits about Brett Favre and his retirement. This is what, his 4th time he has hinted or done it? It's clear to me that Favre was extremely jealous of the headlines Alex Rodriguez was receiving for his admission to steroid use this week. He wants to be on the front of the all the New York rags and ESPN the Ocho for the next 48 hours nonstop.

In other inevitable news two months from now Favre will announce his passion is back for football and he has agreed to play for the Chicago Bears where he will again lead the league in interceptions and ass kissing from Peter King.

If you don't recall last year we were bombarded with so much Favre BS on ESPN it even got to Hitler's last nerve...

ROBERTO ALOMAR HAS FULL BLOWN AIDS?

Future Hall of Famer Roberto Alomar is facing a lawsuit from an ex-girlfriend claiming he has AIDS and had unprotected sex with her while knowing according to the New York Daily News...

Baseball great Roberto Alomar has full-blown AIDS but insisted on having unprotected sex, his ex-girlfriend charged Tuesday in a bombshell lawsuit.
The shocking claim was leveled by Ilya Dall, 31, who said she lived with the ex-Met for three years and watched in horror as his health worsened.
In papers filed in state and federal court, Dall said Alomar finally got tested in January 2006 while suffering from a cough, fatigue and shingles.
"The test results of him being HIV-positive was given to him and the plaintiff on or about Feb.6, 2006," the $15 million negligence suit says.
Nine days later, the couple went to see a disease specialist who discovered a mass in the retired second baseman's chest, the court papers say.
Alomar's skin had turned purple, he was foaming at the mouth and a spinal tap "showed he had full-blown AIDS," the suit says.

The article goes on to claim that Robbie Alomar confided to his ex he was raped when he was 17 by two Mexican men in or near New Mexico. I really don't have anything else to say other than I hope all of this is not true. We will see. AIDS isn't funny at all. Unless your name is Magic Johnson.



UPDATE: The Smoking Gun has the full complaint filed in court.

TRACY MCGRADY BLOWS

Dude, I've seen blind 4 year olds make layups better than McGrady. I've never been a big fan of McGrady and this missed layup and foul will be my lasting memory of him because I don't ever watch the Houston Rockets. That and his tears after losing in the playoffs.

Video HT: FanIQ

2009 SI SWIMSUIT COVERGIRL IS BAR REFAELI

Leonardo Dicaprio's girlfriend is the 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Cover Model. Bar Refaeli is from Israel and has a name that people call their dogs but is as far away from dog looking as possible. She isn't Elle MacPherson in my opinion but you can't blame Leonardo for snagging up this stick figure. Being a covergirl for the SI Swimsuit Issue doesn't carry as much weight as it did back in the 80's and early 90's but I guess there is still some prestige. It probably gets you better blow but who really knows. When I was a kid I enjoyed my mom's Victoria Secret's catalog a lot more. She could never figure out how her catalogs would just disappear and never come back. Sinner.

SCOTT VAN PELT GOT SUSPENDED FOR VOICING HIS OPINION ON BUD SELIG

ESPN's Scott Van Pelt was suspended for his radio show today because of what he said about Bud Selig and his $18.5 million dollar salary according to Deadspin.

I congratulate Van Pelt for voicing his opinion on Selig. I know Van Pelt (Maryland grad) works for a major corporation at ESPN and a lot of people think you shouldn't shit on somebody with as much power as Selig because his product brings in big bucks to the WWL but then what is the point of sports talk? He is hired to voice his opinion and I completely agree with him here. Selig has a house full of couches covered in plastic and it stinks. Selig is a PIMP who used to own the Milwaukee Brewers and somehow became the commissioner of a great game. He buried his head in the sand so to speak the whole time players used steroids and didn't budge against the player's union until the fucking government stepped in and Jose Canseco opened up his fat mouth. He still is too much of a pussy Nerd to step up and make the game better by balancing the competition on the field by instituting a salary cap.

And yet the guy gets paid $18.5 million to do what? Next thing you know he will be stepping down and recommending Peter Angelos for commissioner. I'm not even joking.

ALEX RODRIGUEZ ADMITS TO USING STEROIDS

A-Roid sits down with Peter Gammons and admits he used steroids from the years 2001-2003 in Texas on tonight's 6 PM SportsCenter...

"When I arrived in Texas in 2001, I felt an enormous amount of pressure. I needed to perform, and perform at a high level every day," Rodriguez told ESPN's Peter Gammons in an interview in Miami Beach, Fla. "Back then, [baseball] was a different culture. It was very loose. I was young, I was stupid, I was naïve. I wanted to prove to everyone I was worth being one of the greatest players of all time.

"I did take a banned substance. For that, I'm very sorry and deeply regretful."

"It's been a rough 15 months here for me," Rodriguez said. "I was stupid for three years. I was very, very stupid. The more honest we can all be, the quicker we can get baseball [back] to where it needs to be."

Well at least he is being honest about something. I think it is cop out though to blame the MLB culture for his own self doing steroids. Weak argument but A-Rod has always come off a weak person so I guess I can accept it. I'm hoping the names of the 103 other players who got caught comes out eventually. The public deserves to know especially when a lot of hard earned tax dollars went to uncover this whole story.

That is of course as long as no more Orioles or Braves names are on that list. Or Ken Griffey Jr. Everyone else I could give two shits about.

Get your A-Roid shirt here...

MICHAEL PHELPS SMOKES POT? REALLY?

I did find it pretty humorous how Kellogg's dropped Michael Phelps endorsement because he smokes pot. I hate to break it to Kellogg's but they do realize that our last 5 Presidents at the very least have toked some weed. It's not like this is a startling revelation that an athlete smokes weed. The NBA would cease to exist without weed. When I found out about the photo of Phelps reefing I simply shrugged my shoulders and said "Good for him!" The mofo won 12 gold medals for our country, he can smoke some pot now if he damn well pleases.

Video HT: WithLeather

NATALIE PORTMAN IS A ROLE MODEL AND GREAT RAPPER

This is the unedited SNL version of film star Natalie Portman getting her rap on while drinking and driving and smoking pole at Harvard. A lot of people think Jay Z is the #1 rapper but he ain't got nothing on Ms. Portman. Her tongue is off the hook bitches.

Video HT: WWTDD

WHAT A SWEET TEAMMATE

New Irish teammate Setanta O'hAilpin made quite an impression on his teammates balls with this kick to Cameron Cloke after he punched him during an intra-club match. It appears the Aussies and Irish don't get along very well on the same team. You know what could cure their ill tempers for each other? A bloomin onion and a Guinness. Bloody right!

$2650 FOR A BEER?

I've paid as much as $12 for a beer on the streets of Paris when I was backpacking and dished out $10 at Petco Park this past summer for a cold one and thought I was getting completely ripped off. But that is just a drop in the pint compared to what the first poured beer is going to cost at Leon’s Full Service in Decatur, GA. No worries though, apparently it's going to a good cause...

The first glass of beer poured Monday at Leon’s Full Service — the new gastropub in Decatur, will cost $2,650.

The pub owners auctioned off the first pint on eBay, and that was the highest of 56 bids, according to the Web site NextStopDecatur.com. All proceeds will benefit the fund set up for employees of the Trackside Tavern and 5th Earl Market, the two Decatur businesses that were destroyed by a fire about two weeks ago.

I feel bad for the employees and all losing their jobs because of a fire but if I am the winning bidder I want more than a fucking glass of beer for $2650. Maybe they should throw in a few lines of blow off a pub toilet seat with Jamal Anderson for shits and giggles. I laughed out loud when I read the story on Jamal Anderson. Not because I have been to Peachtree Tavern and know that that kind of shit happens everywhere in Buckhead but the fact that getting caught with cocaine is the least offensive thing Anderson has been caught doing. Let's just say the word on the street is Jam likes to the Dirty Bird at clubs like Swinging Richards. So he didn't get caught doing lines off the 20 year old guy's dugan he was with in the stall so that helps his PR case. And Kordell Stewart was taking hikes from his behind either at the time. So it's not all that bad. Also for $2650 they better be throwing in some grade A Andruw Jones hookers. I feel bad for those hookers now that Andruw has accepted a contract with the Texas Rangers. The economy is shit and now their #1 client is in Texas. This world just isn't fair. Not for $2650 for a stinkin beer.

A "TACK"Y CAL RIPKEN JR. ART PIECE

It took Baltimore Orioles fan/artist Dustin Barkley over 30 hours and 10,000 thumbtacks to make this Cal Ripken Jr. art piece. Well done sir. You pretty much nailed it. Tacked it. Sorry.

Video HT: Deadspin via Homerun Derby

A-ROIDS SHIRT

We finally got a brand new shirt to prepare for the upcoming baseball season. With Spring Training less than a week away and the shocking (not really) revelations that Alex Rodriguez failed a drug test back in 2003 for steroids we figured it was a good time to make a shirt in honor of #13 for the pinstripes. The shirts are only $17 and can be purchased at this link.

Shipping will start in about a week. Be sure to spread the word. I would love to see a stadium full of fans wearing this A-Roids shirt. It's only a matter of time before Madonna, or Gollum as I prefer to affectionately call her, is spotted in one of this killer A-Roids shirts.

PREAKNESS FANS BANNED FROM BRINGING IN ALCOHOL!

What in the holy hell is this all about?....

Say goodbye to the fraternity party atmosphere at the Preakness. Organizers are banning you from bringing your own alcohol or water onto Pimlico's infield.

Pimlico's top brass say they are trying to give the Preakness a new dimension this year. Maryland Jockey Club President Tom Chuckas says they are hoping the changes will give the Preakness Celebrations a different feel and introduce a new audience to horse racing.

But Preakness fan Matt Plummer says it could chase recurring fans away. "They expect to drink, bring their own beer and party all day."

Chuckas says beer will still be available in 16-ounce cups. But you'll have to buy it for $3.50 a cup. Water and other beverages will also be sold.

Preakness fan Mike Bauwens says, "That's going to change everything. It's expensive already."

In addition to the alcohol changes, Pimlico will add an infield concert and professional volleyball tournament to the infield party. This year's performers will include ZZ Top & Buckcherry.

The price of tickets won't change. It will still cost you $50 in advance or $60 at the door. This year's Preakness is scheduled for May 16th.

As a 4-time drunk attendee of the Preakness Stakes I have to admit this is a sad, pathetic day. The whole point of going to Preakness is bringing in your own beer and not worrying about dishing out a shitload of cash for booze. Hell, we would bring in bottles of cheap Tequila in Sprite 2 liters and make Tequila sunrises at 7 am inside the infield. Why did we do it? Because it was all we could afford as college students. Getting the tickets was a lot of money for us. This is a fucking disgrace that is all holy about Preakness. I also can't believe the tickets are that expensive. When I went a decade ago the tickets were $35 advance, $40 at the door. And the economy was fucking great back then. Now you are going to tell all these college kids they can't bring their own booze, will get charged $3.50 a beer, and the tickets are a rip off? They just royally fucked themselves on this and I can guarantee that the crowd will be cut at least into half. What a joke!

So they want a higher clientele in there is what I'm taking from all this. Fuck them and their horserace is what I say. Those uppity douchebags drinking their Mimosas and Mint Julips! This calls for a riot. No more running of the urinal races anymore...


I'm so pissed right now. I'm going to go buy a couple of 30 packs of Natty Light and drink like I did then and pass out in my front yard with piss all over myself. Why? Because it's in honor of my college years at Towson and Preakness. You didn't just drink and see random fights and fake breasts on that infield in Pimlico. You grew up if you made it out alive. You entered a boy and left a man. A really, really drunk man. What is the world coming to?




I'm going to miss the random, just flat out crazy shit that happens at Preakness...

HOW DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE'S BUTT SMELLS?

I will be the first to admit that I can release some powerful odors at ease and I bless my wife for putting up with it but I have never, ever had this happen to me...

MOM BUSTS SUPER BOWL PANTS PARTY

This is what happens when you celebrate a Steelers victory by giving your teenage girlfriend a Steely McBeam before her mom gets home from a Super Bowl party...

A woman reported Sunday night she found her daughter, 17, and a Russell man, 18, naked together in bed.

The woman returned from a Super Bowl party at 11:49 p.m. when she found the pair. She requested officers escort the man from her home. The daughter reported she and the man were at a different party where they were drinking beer. The girl said she knew he was not allowed in her house, but she invited him anyway.

The girl is facing a juvenile charge of underage consumption. The man, who had a small amount of marijuana and a marijuana pipe, was charged with underage consumption, marijuana possession and drug paraphernalia possession.

Major, and I mean major party foul by the mother here. Not only did you get your daughter in trouble with the law but you managed to embarrass the shit out of her just because you were jealous of her getting some Steely McBeam from some young hunk. She should be the one in jail for bad parenting. Hell, if this was in California and not Cleveland she would have been joining in with her daughter on same late night sexcapades.

THE CURIOUS CASE OF MATT BUSH

Some kids are born with all the talent in the world yet have a ten cent head. Matt Bush would be one of those kids. Bush was taken #1 overall in the 2004 MLB draft by his hometown San Diego Padres becoming the first high school shortstop to be taken in the top spot since Alex Rodriguez in 1993. The similarities between the two end right there.

His selection was controversial from the start as more highly regarded college players such as Stephen Drew and Jered Weaver were passed on by the Padres because of signing bonus issues. In other words Scott Boras represented both. The Padres took Bush who was a local kid out of Mission Bay High School and gave him their biggest signing bonus to date at $3.15 million. The 18 year old Bush had a ton of money in his pocket to burn and little sense of the talent he had. Less than two weeks after the draft he was involved in a fight at a nightclub in Peoria, AZ, just outside of the Padres Spring Training facility. He was accused of felony assault, disorderly conduct, misdemeanor trespassing, and alcohol consumption by a minor. In other words just a typical weekend for myself in college.

He went on to hit only .199 in 99 at-bats at Rookie level ball while adjusting to the switch from aluminum to wooden bats. The Padres expected big things out of him in 2005, his second season in minor league ball. Unfortunately he continued to struggle this time at A Ball in Ft. Worth. His .221 average over 453 at bats was clearly not living up the hype of his #1 overall draft pick status. He was invited to Spring Training in 2006 but broke his ankle and missed half the season. Now that I think about it that was right around the time I broke my ankle. Holy shit, Matt Bush wants to be a Fairchild clone. We both suck at baseball but somehow he has a lot of money. Ok, we aren't too similar.

Anyways after he broke his ankle he came back and put up a putrid .583 OPS in 2007 before the Padres decided to switch him to pitcher. Bush has a cannon for an arm and could routinely hit mid 90's on the radar gun. He was also a star pitcher for his high school team so it looked like it might work out on the mound as he fanned 16 batters in just over 7 innings of work in the Arizona League. He lasted only 7 innings when he started feeling pain in his elbow. He had a torn ligament in his right elbow and underwent Tommy John surgery which required him to miss the rest of the 2007 season and all of 2008.

So you would think with all these lumps Bush since he was drafted first overall in 2004 he might eventually wake up and realize what he has and not throw it all away. Nope. The Padres designated Bush for assignment to make room for Cliff Floyd on the 40 man roster yesterday. Essentially they released him and it wasn't because of his elbow. Bush is in trouble with the law again...

El Cajon police Lt. Steve Shakowski yesterday confirmed an investigation involving Bush and allegations of assaultive behavior and public intoxication. A witness, who requested his name not be used because of the ongoing police investigation, said Bush was drunk, threw a golf club into the dirt, picked up and threw a freshman lacrosse player and hit another one. Bush also yelled “I'm Matt (expletive) Bush,” and “(expletive) East County,” before driving over a curb in his Mercedes when leaving the campus, according to the witness.

So where this leaves Bush is up to him. He has become San Diego's baseball version of Ryan Leaf. An immature idiot who couldn't harness his talent or his destiny. Someone will pick him up no doubt because the talent is there. He doesn't have near the talent of a Josh Hamilton, another reclamation project, but if his velocity returns after rehab he could at the very least become a good bullpen arm at the Major League level. He is still only 23 years old and once you have Tommy John surgery the arm usually becomes more stronger with intensive rehab than it was before the injury. If he can manage to control his alcohol and rage issues then this curious Bush case could someday become a great comeback story as Hamilton proved after beating his demons.

RICHARD ZEDNIK HAS ELEVATION BRO

You may remember the name of Richard Zednik from nearly a year ago when he took an accidental teammates skate right to his external carotid artery. God was on his side then as well as Florida Panthers trainer Dave Zenobi quickly aided Zednik as he skated off the ice in stopping the bleeding by putting pressure on the wound. Zednik healed quickly and now apparently has been given the ability to elevate over opponents such as Brendan Witt for this impressive goal in a win over the Islanders last night. Godspeed Zednik!

Video HT: WithLeather

LANE KIFFIN ACCUSES URBAN MEYER OF RECRUITING VIOLATIONS

It looks like new Tennessee head coach Lane Kiffin is ready for a gunfight with Florida coach Urban Meyer. Speaking at recruiting celebration banquet this morning in Knoxville, Kiffin claimed Meyer committed a recruiting violation while a recruit named Nu'Keese Richardson was visiting Tennessee. Apparently Meyer kept calling Richardson while he was on his official visit at Tennessee and it's against the rules to have any contact with a recruit while they are taking official visits to other schools.

"I'm gonna turn Florida in right here in front of you," Kiffin told the crowd at the Knoxville Convention Center. "While Nu'Keese was on campus, his phone kept ringing. One of the coaches says, 'who's that?' And he said, Urban Meyer."

"I love the fact that Urban had to cheat and still didn't get him," Kiffin said.

If you thought the rivalry between the Volunteers and Gators was strong before wait till these two fan bases start slinging mud at each other. Kiffin managed to seal the deal with Richardson and get the one time commit from Florida to sign with Tennessee yesterday. The new head coach at Tennessee is already starting to make SEC people notice him and he seems to be ruffling people's feathers much like Meyer did when he first arrived in Gainesville. Usually that means he is a threat.

Click here to check out the video of Kiffin this morning speaking to the Tennessee faithful.

At first I thought the Kiffin hire was a mistake because of his lack of experience going into a high pressure situation that is Tennessee football but now I'm thinking he is the perfect hire. Recruits seem to gravitate towards him and he is already riling up a rabid fan base begging for a winner.

LITTLE PIMPIN

This little girl has better rap skills than the less talented and still alive Phoenix brother. Eminem ain't got nothing on her yo!