BRADY QUINN AND JIMMY CLAUSEN AUTOGRAPH NOTRE DAME FOOTBALL

This is a one of a kind piece for the die hard Notre Dame football fan. You can not find this anywhere else besides SportsCrack.com. In fact it's the only one. I got it priced at $225 so it's first come, first serve on this incredible football. The white panel is full sized and stitched. The flawless autographs of Brady Quinn and Jimmy Clausen both pop on this pristine football.

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LANE KIFFIN IS NOT A GOOD DRIVER

I can't help but stare in amazement to this .gif that LSUfreek created. Outstanding job. This has Michael Bay written all over it.

THE BUFFALO BILLS ARE JOKING RIGHT?

Seriously Bills? Just move to fucking Toronto already and stop bothering us with this Chan Gailey BS...

ORCHARD PARK, N.Y. -- Chan Gailey was hired by the Buffalo Bills on Tuesday, getting a second chance to prove himself as an NFL coach and inheriting a team that has missed the playoffs for 10 straight years.

Gailey was introduced by general manager Buddy Nix at a new conference which ended a two-month search to replace Dick Jauron, who was fired in November. Gailey takes over a team that finished 6-10 and becomes the Bills' fifth coach since Marv Levy retired after the 1997 season.

Yeah I know that nobody with a pulse wants the job but getting Chan Gailey is on par with settling for Monique on prom night. Nobody fucking wins and all you do is embarrass yourself. Except I'm pretty sure Gailey shaves his legs.

COACH PETE CARROLL NOT BEING FUNNY SKIT

I didn't laugh one time. And who is the douchebag fan and why does he keep getting roles in Hollywood? His humor escapes me. He just yells. Pow! Pow! Cataline Wine Mixer! Pow! In the face! Pow! He is a new version of Dane Cook without the potholes.

MIKE GREENBERG AND ESPN ARE RACISTS

Not really but I'm sure they won't be able to live this down after Mike and Mike's host Mike Greenberg let a little slip of the tongue on live air yesterday...

Now I demand all the people who are too lazy to get real jobs to go picket in front of ESPN Headquarters in Bristol, CT immediately. Now, now, now!!!! ESPN has a dream of taking away your freedom to not work and get paid for it and everyone deserves an apology from them. Oh wait, Greenberg issued an apology. Here it is:

I just came home from the Knicks game and found out about the mess that was created by my garbling a sentence on our show this morning; I apologize for not addressing it sooner.

And I'm sorry that my talking too fast - and slurring my words - might have given people who don't know our show the wrong impression about us, and about me.

I feel horrible about that, because nothing could be further away from who I am and what our show is about.

I would never say anything like that, not in public, or in private, or in the silence of my own mind, and neither would anyone associated with our show, and I'm very sorry that my stumble this morning gave so many people the opposite impression.

Damn, I was hoping to see pitch forks and torches tearing up the World Wide Leader. It was my dream.

RUNAWAY LANE MUSIC VIDEO

Video HT: Blick

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MONIQUE WINS GOLDEN GLOBE, SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF PENISES EVERYWHERE

I was bored last night and was up late watching Taboo on the NatGeo Channel and they were talking about drugs and prostitution being two of the most socially untolerated topics in our world. I'm sorry but they ain't got nothing on Monique's legs. Those things howl at the night waiting to eat their young. The guy with her has to be fucked up in the head. It's one thing to be a chubby chaser but the Wolverine legs are just completely frowned upon...


I'm going to go brush my teeth now and bathe in some vinegar while I cry myself to passing out for posting these pictures.


WWTDD

URBAN MEYER PULLS THE RELIGION CARD ON RECRUIT

Since it is Martin Luther King Day I figured it was sort of appropriate to show you how a certain coach who wears Gator's colors can present "I have a dream" pitch to stud defensive tackles. From GamecockCentral.com Blog comes this interesting story of Florida head coach Urban Meyer pulling the old religion/God card on Philly DT Shariff Floyd right before Floyd was set to pick Ohio State and instead went with the Gators:

“Sharrif was really confused and put a call into Coach Meyer. When they spoke Coach Meyer told him that he had a ‘dream’ the night before, and that Coach Meyer saw himself on the sideline coaching Sharrif. Told him that is was a "message from God that I should come back and coach, as I guess if it’s my time to die, I'd rather die on the sidelines coaching you than anywhere else in the world.

"Sharrif talked to us the next day and said Ohio State is great and all, but Coach Meyer said he would DIE for me. That's pretty intense. From that day on Sharrif mainly kept to himself. But that was the turning point in my eyes."

Now that is how you recruit 5 star players to your school folks. A couple of years ago I probably would have been pissed off after reading this but you know what, I think Urban actually believes the shit he spews. I can't be mad at him for it because I would hope my favorite coach (Brian Kelly) would pull out the "hey, we have Jesus Christ praying on our library you will come to Notre Dame Shariff!" tactic because if it fucking works then well...it fucking works. High school kids are stupid anyways. I used to drop acid back in the day and think I could sing Pink Floyd songs better than Roger Waters or David Gilmour. The prison guards clearly thought otherwise.

So yeah, Urban Meyer talks to God seems perfectly reasonable to a high school kid. Why do you think so many of those idiots join FCA? Probably the free donuts. Ahhh...donuts!

JIMMY KIMMEL KILLS ON JAY LENO

I will be the first to admit I don't even watch these late night tv shows regularly. With that being said I do know who is funny and who is not. Jimmy Kimmel and Conan O'brien are smart, witty, and funny. Jay Leno is the exact opposite. Jimmy Fallon is a hyperactive kid that everybody feels sorry for and I guess for some reason they decided to employ him. Fallon seems like a nice kid. Leno seems like a dick.

The point being is dick's usually win out in the end over the nice guy. Conan is leaving and Leno is replacing him. Leno pulled a Kiffin. Great to see Kimmel put Leno in his place. The shitter. Period.

CHEAT ON! IN LANE WE TRUST SHIRT

We got another new design inspired by an old face back in a familiar place. Continuing the Tradition of winning at all costs comes our brand new "CHEAT ON! IN LANE WE TRU$T" shirt. This vintage feel and look soft cotton tee shirt is sure to be the hit at any tailgate party or hanging out with your friends. It's definitely a conversation starter as anyone can attest to who has worn our shirts in the past.

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MUSCHAMP AND CALHOUN REJECT VOLS, CUTCLIFFE NEXT?

Texas defensive coordinator Will Muschamp and Air Force head coach Troy Calhoun both turned down lucrative offers from Tennessee AD Michael Hamilton to become the Vol's new head coach according to multiple reports. Muschamp apparently is content with being the coach-in-waiting at Texas and Calhoun loves the weather in Colorado. Moving along in their search the next guy who appears to be on the radar is current Duke head coach David Cutcliffe.

Cutcliffe was the offensive coordinator for Tennessee twice under the Phil Fulmer regime and had success at Ole Miss as a head coach leading them to a Cotton Bowl victory with Eli Manning under center. Cutcliffe's claim to fame is coaching both Eli and Peyton while in college. To say Tennessee would be ecstatic with this hire would be on par with me sitting through a marathon of American Idol episodes without throwing my beer at the television and cursing at God for ever creating a show so awful. Vol's Nation want a sexy hire and Cutcliffe just isn't it.

The best candidate I can think of off the top of my head is Temple's Al Golden. Golden can recruit and with the best of them which he showed at Virginia when he was a defensive coordinator and led Temple to a 9 win season this year and their first bowl game in 30 years. The guy can flat out coach but he is supposedly the hot name to replace JoePa at his alma mater Penn State when he either stops coaching or croaks.

So Tennessee fans should prepare themselves for Cutcliffe. Trust me it could be worse. Just prepare yourselves for 8 to 9 win seasons max in the near future.

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LANE KIFFIN DOES A HELL OF A BILL CLINTON IMPRESSION

"I did not have contact with those recruits!"

Whatever makes you sleep better at night buddy. Have you ever seen an introductory press conference more heated and questioned? This is going to be a marriage of hell for USC and Lane Kiffin. Fantastic.

WHILE YOU ARE BITCHING AND MOANING ABOUT WORK

This black lab is having the time of his life chasing melons down in Brazil with model Nicole Bahls(WWTDD.com). Lucky fucking dog. Not only can it lick it's own balls and shit where ever he damn well pleases but he gets the opportunity to play "catch" with Nicole. I just showed my dog Soco these pictures. He farted a balloon full of jealousy and disgust.

BEST FAILS OF 2009

Best Fails of 2009 - watch more funny videos

I completely lost my shit when the guy fell in the grave. Do you help or just laugh or cry in horror? I laughed.

MATT KEMP'S MATCH.COM COMMERCIAL

Could you imagine living the life that Matt Kemp has presented in front of him? I'm not gay as far as I know but the guy is a good looking dude who is young, rich, plays centerfield for the Los Angeles Dodgers and is literally smack dab in the middle of a valley full of excellent Hollywood tail. Of course he is banging Rihanna. Why wouldn't he? If I were him I would be out nailing every single female till my dick fell off. Fortunately for myself I'm not nearly as pretty or rich as Matt Kemp. Fuck.

Go ahead and grab all the Pop star ass you want Matt...

LANE KIFFIN SHIRT: FU LAME KIFFIN SHIRT

Now available for purchase is the "FU LAME KIFFIN" shirt from Sportscrack.com. Tell Monte's little son how you feel about him leaving Knoxville for the West Coast Cheaters. This shirt idea was sent in by numerous people who bleed orange and white.

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TENNESSEE STUDENTS TOOK THE KIFFIN NEWS WELL LAST NIGHT

Burning mattresses...


And running through the streets of Knoxville with pitch forks and torches demanding the head of Lane Kiffin...


This just goes to prove they take their college football serious down in the South. Since when did Tennessee become a stepping stone for USC? God I can't wait to see Lane Kiffin fail miserably at USC. Tennessee fans should feel grateful today that the wolf has taken off his sheepskin and left. He would have done it either next year or the year after no doubt. The guy has 12 career victories to his name (5 with the Oakland Raiders, 7 with the Vols) and some people act like this guy is the second coming of Pete Carroll. Come on people. Wake the fuck up.

AT LEAST LANE KIFFIN LEFT TENNESSEE WITH SOME CLASS

Ah gotcha! Instead of leaving with a sliver of dignity and class Lane Kiffin and his staff told his Tennessee players good-bye while in the process tried to convince the Tennessee recruits, including the early enrollment players, to come with him to USC. Talk about having some fucking balls. Kiffin and his staff might be the most shady recruiters of all-time. I'm sure he promised them houses for them and their parents with free rent, cars, money, and the assurance that classes would be limited to Ballroom Dancing and Spring Practice 101.

Take a look at this video of an interview with John Brice of Volquest.com to get a feeling of what was going down last night...