WHY HELLO THERE KELLY BROOK

These candid shots of actress Kelly Brook frolicking in Barbados come via WWTDD via SplashNewsOnline and I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for being you Kelly.

BJ UPTON SEEMS LIKE A GOOD TEAMMATE

The Tampa Bay Rays have been playing like garbage for the past 16 games and have seen their once MLB best record slide and now sit in 3rd place in the ultra competitive AL East (minus the horrific Baltimore Orioles). BJ Upton pulled the Hanley Ramirez card yesterday on a ball hit into the gap by jogging lightly to get to the ball. The hit resulted into a triple and of course the Rays went on to lose the game.

Teammate Evan Longoria did what everybody else on the team was thinking but didn't have the balls to say to Upton. He questioned his lack of effort. BJ blew up on him because he is a shitty teammate. I know I have said this before but baseball is a lazy man sport. It's not like football, basketball or hockey where you are constantly on the move and must pay attention at all times or you could seriously fuck up a game or even yourself by injury. All that the coaches and his teammates want to know is that BJ puts in the maximum effort and shows that he cares more about winning than the number of zeros on his paycheck.

Coach Bill Maddon has dealt with these issues before with Upton. It got so bad at one point that Maddon wanted to send him down to the minors but management refused. Yesterday pointed out that they need to do the right thing and send him down and call up Desmond Jennings. The Rays are too good of a team to be playing as badly as they are right now. They don't need a sour apple in BJ who could care less about winning and helping his teammates.

Or they could just fire Maddon in a couple of weeks like the Marlins did. I would donate my left nut to have Maddon is Baltimore just like I can't wait for Fredi Gonzalez to be coaching in Atlanta next season. I find it amusing they kept BJ in the game. It's not like the guy is a superstar. His talent is incredible but he doesn't have the mentality right now to be a starter in the majors much less a talented team like the Rays.

Get rid of him Tampa Bay. Don't let the Yankees or Red Sox run away with the division. Make a statement that you won't to compete and do it the right way.

Fedor Emelianenko Takes On Fabricio Werdum in a Joint Strikeforce/M1 Spectacular

As you may know I have little knowledge of Ultimate Fighting/MMA. I'm more of a boxing type of guy. But one of our readers thought she could chime in on this weekend's big event. I told her to bring it on. Here is guest writer Alexia Krause thoughts...

The Strikeforce event on June 26th is bound to be one for the books as Strikeforce mixed martial arts joins up with M-1 Global to bring some of the toughest fighters in the world together within one caged ring. This is an extra special event because it combines Strikeforce MMA with M-1 Global, which allows it to be a complete world showcase of some of the world's best fighters. This showcase has a huge title card as Fedor Emelianenko (who is actually a co-owner of M-1 Global) takes on Fabricio Werdum in a heavyweight bout that promises to entertain.

Fedor Emelianenko- also known as "The Last Emperor"- holds a record of 31-1. His only recorded loss comes from the fact that his fight with Tsuyoshi Kohsaka was stopped when Emelianenko suffered a gash in the opening seconds of the fight. Even though he has a loss to tarnish his undefeated streak, "The Last Emperor" understands that numbers don't mean anything when you're inside the cage.

"Fedor" has been at the top as the best heavyweight in the world for the better part of the last decade. He has taken down Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipović, Mark Coleman, and Antônio Rodrigo Nogueira on his way there. On June 26th, he goes up against Fabricio Werdum (the number 9 heavyweight in the world) for a showdown that's bound to define the two fighters and the event.

Even though Emelianenko is the top heavyweight in the world he will have a lot on his hands going up against the jiu-jitsu technician, Fabricio Werdum. Werdum is known as "Vai Cavalo" or "Leading Horse" which speaks to his wild and free nature in the ring. It looks like it will be Emelianenko's job to tame Werdum if he wants victory.

However, the June 26th Strikeforce will not just be the main event. In fact, many more people are looking forward to the top woman in the world, Cris "Cyborg" Santos taking on Jan Finney. Most feel that Cyborg will take out Finney pretty easily and glide on to an effortless victory (even more so considering that Finney's nickname is "Cuddles"), but Finney has been known to be scrappy making the fight a good one to watch.

Plus, seeing Cris Cyborg in action is always an event in itself:



With both the male and female champions defending their titles on the same night, the June 26th Strikeforce event is destined to be an exciting evening for MMA fans.

Alexia is a lifelong fan of sports and fitness. Recently, she's been obsessed with MMA. As a result, she has joined forces with MMA Industries- purveyors of widely popular MMA training gloves and shirts. Alexia has been writing about the latest developments in MMA equipment for the past few years, and continues to bring you the latest news in the mixed martial arts world.

ANOTHER CLASSIC SOCCER VIDEO

Yes. Keep on jumping. Let your body rock. Everybody. Keep on. Keep on.

Holy shit that stupid song is going to be in my head all weekend. Landon Donovan might have a hat trick tomorrow but it won't matter. All I will be thinking about is this stupid song. But honestly who cares about the song. It's models playing fake soccer and grabbing ass and shit. That's about as American as you can get. Today is all about looking at girls in skimpy outfits playing mooseknuckle games. Tomorrow we beat the shit out of Ghana and all of those FIFA refs who keep screwing us over.

I just checked the odds and the American team is 33/1 to win the whole thing. Not bad considering Spain is 5/1 and might not even make the round of 16. Keep giving us no respect odds makers. The Americans eat that shit up.

Prediction: USA 2 Ghana 1 (Penalty kicks)

USA! USA! USA!

I don't care who you are. If this video doesn't get your blood pumping or the goosebumps going then you are sad, angry person.

Tomorrow the USA Soccer team has a chance to make the elite eight of the world with a win over Ghana. In a sport where we are the clear underdogs because soccer is about the 4th or 5th most popular sport in our country whereas it's everything for most of the world, it shows how far our country has come in terms of developing a respectable team.

Show some national pride tomorrow. Root for the Yanks! Fuck Ghana! Go USA! USA! USA!

ALEXANDER OVECHKIN WILL FINISH HIS SPEECH THANK YOU VERY MUCH

Alexander Ovechkin was accepting the NHL Players Choice for MVP Award last night when the NHL decided to pull a Grammy Awards and cut off their best player right in the middle of his speech. Ovie was obviously immune to the "cue the music to cut this cat off" part of the awards show and just stayed there and finished his speech. Badass. Too bad this was only shown in Canada live because if it was shown here I'm sure there would have been at least 8 puckheads watching on Versus.

With the Wizards now set to draft John Wall tonight and the Expos already have the great Stephen Strasburg who is now the most popular and marketable sports figure in the DC area? Personally Ovechkin is my favorite and I think he has the best personality by far but the NHL is in the dumps when it comes to marketing. Wall could be a huge star for the Wizards or he could become another Kenny Anderson. Strasburg looks like a complete stud but he only plays once every five games and he is a Mark Prior arm injury away from vanishing to could have been. What about Donovan McNabb? I know the new Redskins QB is rather old but what if he leads the Skins to the Super Bowl? Washington will always be a Redskin town and if they did run the table they would probably hand McNabb the keys to Obama's hidden bunker.

Anyways you be the judge. Who is the biggest sports star in Washington D.C? Vote on the upper right tool bar.

Video courtesy of D.C. Sports Bog

SALMA HAYEK STILL BRINGING IT

Mexican hottie Salma Hayek has been rocking the big screen since the mid 90's and yet she continues to get hotter. I don't get it. Did she and Demi Moore make a deal with the devil/Hollywood that they would continue to get better looking bodies while their looks matured? Whatever they did they have found the complete opposite luck of other starlets such as Lindsay Lohan and Tara Reid. I guess it's called "staying away from crack and booze" and a little thing called exercise. Whatever it is all I can say is Salma is still the bomb and at the premiere of her new film "Grown Ups" in New York City she brought out the big guns.

Good for her. Great for us.

I WISH I COULD BE A BLONDE SWEDISH NANNY

Elin: I got a secret...you are fucked!

Before Elin Nordegren met Tiger Woods she was a Swedish nanny along with her twin sister for professional golfer Jesper Parnevik. Her duties included changing diapers, looking hot, and taking the kids to the pool along with feeding them and traveling around the world. She had a tough life I know. Then Parnevik hooked up fellow golfer Tiger Woods, you may have heard of him, with a date with the blonde bombshell. Then they fell in love and got married and had kids and everything seemed wonderful. Until Tiger's hundreds of mistresses started coming out of the closet. The marriage quickly fizzled and now divorce is all but certain. Elin was humiliated and claimed to have no idea her husband was an athlete who liked to fuck other broads on the road and in this case even in their house. She had her head so far buried in the sand she could have struck oil.

And in the long run guess what this got her? $750 million dollars!

RadarOnline has the exclusive details...

The final divorce is imminent, a source close to the situation told RadarOnline.com.

“They’ve agreed on all the major points,” one source told us. “It’s all been worked out privately.

“Both Tiger and Elin are very close to finishing the negotiations and filing and signing the paperwork.”

Elin is expected to receive approximately $750 million in the settlement.

So in terms of dollars that is $375 million per kid. If he did in fact screw 120 women as some people have claimed while married that would equate to $6.25 million per mistress. And here I am worrying about spending too much money on a sirloin steak. Tiger is about to write a check for more money than most countries GDP. FML.

Congratulations Elin! You hit the jackpot! Please come change my diaper.

Here are some more pictures of the most expensive nanny in the world...

A WNBA GAME BROKE OUT LAST NIGHT IN LA

Ok, not really, but jesus. Why doesn't this kind of shit happen at The Ted? This girl-on-girl action happened at the Dodgers-Angels clash in Anaheim in what appears to be the right centerfield stands. Those people out in California are just so damn liberal and free. If this kind of shit happened in the South or the Midwest I'm pretty positive a riot would have broken out. In Southern Cal it's just "ho hum, two chicks playing tonsil hockey, big deal!" Hopefully this becomes a widespread pandemic in the sports world. You feeling me SEC Poon country?

Video HT: Deadspin

THE MARLINS FIRED BOBBY COX'S REPLACEMENT

Florida Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria pulled the plug today on the Fredi Gonzalez managerial stint and this couldn't have worked out any better for the Atlanta Braves. With the Braves looking to replace Cox in his farewell season Gonzalez is one of the 3 most talked about replacements (current assistant coaches Terry Pendleton and Eddie Perez being the others). Gonzalez would be a great fit for the Braves organization having already worked for Cox as a base coach. He also doesn't put up with lazy play as evidenced by his benching of star shortstop Hanley Ramirez earlier in the season.

With that being said what the fuck was Loria thinking? Yes the Marlins are sitting at 34-36 record wise and Gonzalez 3 year record is 276-279 since replacing the fired Joe Girardi (which worked out great for the Yankees) but the Marlins don't spend money on premium talent with the exception of Hanley. Loria expects the Marlins to compete for the World Series every year but doesn't want to spend the money to get there. "The J-Hey Kid" aka SI.com writer Jon Heyman hinted a couple of months ago that Gonzalez would be the ideal candidate to replace Bobby in Atlanta in 2011. Thank you Loria for giving the Braves a chance to bring him in this season for an internship.

Braves.com writer Mark Bowman caught up with Braves GM Frank Wren to get his reaction to the Gonzalez hiring and posted this on his Twitter feed.

Frank Wren says the Braves hold Fredi in high regard. But he added that he won't have any further comment until Bobby manages his final game

Yep. Gonzalez will now be manager for the Braves in 2011. It worked out for the Yankees with Girardi so let's hope history repeats itself.

USA! USA! USA! THANK YOU LANDON DONOVAN!

I'm not a soccernut but I can say without a doubt that was the most exciting, tense game I have ever watched. The U.S Team had tons of chances to score and even got one taken away by a horrific offsides call early in the game. They hit posts and crossbars and never gave up. The score could have easily been a touchdown to nothing but the luck just wasn't on the U.S. side till the 91st minute when Landon Donovan buried a rebound in the back of the net.

With the win the U.S. advances to the round of 16 and wins their first group since 1930. 80 fucking years folks. This is history we are watching. The English also advanced with a close 1-0 win over Slovenia so there is a chance we get to play the Brits again. Right now it's looking like we will probably face Germany in the next round. Bring it on!

Donovan is going to get crazy ass down there in South Africa tonight. I can already see it....

GOLDEN TATE DOES HIS BEST PAYNE STEWART IMPERSONATION

Golden Tate rocked out the paisley argyle sweater vest and the pink loafer pants yesterday for some charity golf event. It takes a brave man and/or a very funny guy to pull off the outfit and apparently Golden is both. You could definitely stick some donuts in those pants.

GOOD NEWS PEOPLE: KENNY POWERS IS BACK THIS SEPTEMBER!

That's right ya fuckfaces! Kenny Mother Fucking Powers is back this September. He's back to play real sports and he doesn't like ya! HBO will be bringing back "Eastbound and Down" in the fall and that thump you just heard was my rock hard hitting the desk in delight. Not only will college football be back in full swing but now you are going to tell me Kenny Powers aka my hero is back. God I can't wait to see the beautiful motion of one Kenny Powers back throwing heaters...

THE ART OF THE SOCCER DIVE

Anytime you can combine my favorite part of Saving Private Ryan (Barry Pepper's character was a complete pimp with the sniper) and those fancy soccer players taking dives you have a winner. The World Cup has been entertaining for the most part but like the Duke flop I can't stand it when the game gets taken over by bullshit acting. The ironic part is North Korea will probably use a firing squad on their team and their families after getting demolished 7-0 by Portugal. Kim Jong Il does not put up with Alex Baldwin, Hans Blix, or incompetent soccer players....






Video HT: HotClicks

PHILLIES FANS ARE GRACEFUL

I mean seriously, what is wrong with people who root for the Phillies? They obviously can't read signs or follow directions. This guy either had a little too much Yuengling or he is fucking retarded. Let's just go with him being a Phillies fan. There is no need to explain when it comes to Satan's offspring.

Video HT: Deadspin

KARMA POLICE

I hope everybody has a glorious weekend. I hope it's safe and fun and you can do what you enjoy most. Which is probably a lot of drinking and relaxing in the sun.

This week has been frustrating due to some issues I'm not at liberty to discuss. Once I get things settled then I'm looking forward to a little karma. Here are some lyrics from Radiohead that will be resonating in my brain this weekend...

Karma police, arrest this man
He talks in maths, buzzes like a fridge
He's like a detuned radio

Karma police, arrest this girl
She stares at me as if she owns the world
And we have crashed her party

This is what you'll get
This is what you'll get
This is what you'll get
When you mess with me

Karma police, I've given all I can
It's not enough; I've given all I can
But we're still on the payroll

This is what you'll get
This is what you'll get
This is what you'll get
When you mess with me

Phew, for a minute there
I lost myself
I lost myself

THANK YOU SAMMY WATKINS

For completely knocking the shit out of this kid. Wait for the end. Trust me it's worth the torture of listening to this jackass teenager trying to be cool.

Sammy Watkins is a future College Football free safety out of South Fort Myers High School in Florida. He is being recruited by every big time program in the South and after watching this video you can tell he has a real good nose for the football. He absolutely ruined that kid's life by laying him out. Every time that mop head turns direction he is going to have Watkin's elbow in the back of his mind. I'm actually shocked the kid got up. I probably would have sucked my thumb while pissing on myself.

Video HT: BarStoolSports via SportsByBrooks

THIS WEEK IN UNNECESSARY CENSORSHIP

I forgot to mention the Los Angeles Lakers won the NBA Title last night. If you were wondering why I forgot to mention such a huge accomplishment for the Lakers organization it was because the game was so completely boring and both teams absolutely stunk it up. Kobe Bryant was god awful but still won the MVP because everybody else besides Ron Artest had shit performances shooting the ball. I know there are a lot of Kobe fans out there and they want to put him on a pedestal now with MJ but please stop. Kobe is a great player but he still isn't close to what Jordan was and he never will be. No means no Kobe fans.

Congrats on winning your 16th Championship. It must be tough to root for a team who wins all the time. I completely know how you feel.

Fuckers.

ANOTHER STUPID TIE

Let me start off by first saying that was the most exciting soccer game I have watched in a while. Slovenia is a country I had never even hear of before the World Cup started and today it looked like they were going to kick our ass by taking an early 2-0 lead. For some reason our lazy ass defenders decided they would rather be spectators after a 6 day layoff which was completely inexcusable. But the good ole U S of A fought back to tie thanks to a take your head off shot by Landon Donovan near the right post and then Michael Bradley with the beautiful follow in the 82nd minute. But then of course the refs had to ruin a great soccer game by calling one of the all-time bullshit calls by taking away a goal by Maurice Edu in the 86th minute by calling a US foul on the play. Nevermind that 3 of our players were literally being bear hugged during the play.

So instead of getting the win the refs took it away and gave us another fucking tie. These refs were absolutely horrible. They missed calls going both ways the whole game. Now the US will have another 5 days off before they play their next game against Algeria, one in which they will need to win if they want to advance. With the big break in between games why don't they play overtime or at least have penalty kicks? Enough with the stupid fucking ties. Nobody should ever play a sport to tie. As Herm Edwards said "YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME!" If they could cut out the tie garbage and also change the offsides crap (seriously there should be no offsides especially from a corner kick) then I think the game would be a lot more exciting and you know have an actual winner at the end.

But what do I know? I'm just another stupid American who doesn't get the "world" sport. Well you know what? America....America....America....FUCK YEAH!



Image courtesy of Getty Images

SCRATCH THE MOUNTAIN WEST TO BECOME A BCS CONFERENCE; UTAH BOLTING FOR THE PAC-10

Last week Boise State joined the Mountain West Conference and in my head I thought with the ten teams now in the conference they should get an automatic BCS bowl bid. Scratch that thought. The Utah Utes are expected to accept an invitation to become the 12th team in the new PAC-10 in what we now be a two division split.

With Utah expected to become the Pac-10's 12th team Thursday, the question arises: How will the conference split up its divisions?
Most likely, new additions Colorado and Utah will play in a southern division with Arizona, Arizona State, USC and UCLA.

This is of course is great news for the Utes. They have won two BCS bowl games to finish off two undefeated seasons and they could have a chance to compete right away for a PAC-10 title. With the USC sanctions look out for the Utes in 2012. They will earn a shitload more money and get a ton of exposure in a BCS Conference. Maybe even compete for a National Title.

This royally sucks for the Mountain West Conference. They will look to add another program but replacing Utah will be tough. They were well on their way to being a legit football conference but now you have to wonder if the Big 12 will now try to pry away TCU from them. Losing TCU and Utah would make the conference bad. I'm talking Big East bad.



Tune in tomorrow for the latest domino effect.


Photo courtesy of AP/Dave Martin