SEC Media Days Bingo 2012

I got a lot of money riding on "We're Excited" and "Nick Saban Destroys Reporter." Don't let me down now SEC coaches.

Via SBNation

It's Not American but here is a Great Canadian Football Play

Yes we are literally counting down the seconds till football starts but since we still got another 5 weeks till the real thing I give you this highlight from America's Hat: Canada. You don't see many 129 yard missed field goal returns for touchdowns around these parts but that is exactly what Tristan Jackson did last week for the Saskatchewan Roughriders.

Via HotClicks

Delonte West Throws Like A Basketball Player

Does Delonte West still play? Just wondering out loud because if he isn't still banging Lebron's mom while getting the ball in the hoop on the court then he definitely has a promising career as a Major League outfielder. Look at that gun! Bryce Harper and Mike Trout have nothing on Delonte in terms of arm strength.

Via TheBigLead

Jimmy Fallon: At The Bar With Roger Federer

I forgot to mention Roger Federer winning his record tying 7th Wimbledon the other day because...well...he's so fucking boring. Federer is the greatest men's tennis player but like Pete Sampras before him he's got the personality of a dolt. It's probably the main reason why tennis viewership and interest in the United States has steadily declined the last two decades. More people were excited and heartbroken to see runner up Andy Murray cry like a spoiled 5 year old who got his favorite stuffed animal taken away then see Federer hold another Wimbledon Trophy. Tennis could be so much more exciting if all the rich white people in attendance just got drunk like they do at baseball and football games.

Must See Video: Shark Takes Away The Catch of The Day

I can listen to these rednecks scream all day. "OH SHIT...JESUS CHRIST...IT'S A SHARK....IT'S A SHARK!!!....IT'S A BIG ASS SHARK!!!!"

Then the guy acts like his girl can just reel in the shark. Priceless.

This Chipper Jones 2012 All Star Game Speech Brought Tears To My Eyes

After watching Chipper Jones give this inspiring speech to his fellow NL All-Star teammates I have to wonder how there is not already a bronze statue in the clubhouse. This speech will go down with the Tebow speech at Florida and the "Win one For The Gipper" speech from some unknown football coach at a tiny Jewish school in lower Michigan. I literally had tears flowing while listening to Chipper mumbling to his teammates who pretended to care that this was his final All-Star game. This speech just makes me one go out and.... take a nap.

By the way this is one of the reasons why baseball coaches are overrated at the MLB level. You can't give inspiring speeches to ballplayers. It just doesn't work. Sure I can see it working in football or basketball where a player can take over a game but in baseball it's rare unless it's the pitcher. And even they could care less about it being your last game. You think Matt Cain threw better last night because of Chipper's speech?

Patriots Owner Bob Kraft Is Banging This Actress Named Ricki Noel Lander, Has an Audition Tape

Good for Bob Kraft. Instead of wallowing in self pity over the death of his beloved wife, Myra, last July after a battle with cancer he is out banging a 32-year-old "actress" named Ricki Noel Lander.

Kraft is 71 so it's not weird at all for Ricki to be dating a guy who is old enough to be her grandfather. The rumor is this audition tape is for a new Vince Vaughn film called "Internship" which is actually be filmed here in Atlanta.

You gotta love Kraft's acting chops. He had me totally convinced the whole time he was some lonely old man at a strip club trying to pick up a trick. It's almost like he went undercover to study the role.

Video via Barstool Sports

Jose Canseco's Old Milwaukee Commercial

So Old Milwaukee still tastes like shit and does steroids? Fantastic. Can't wait to try it again.

David Letterman's Top Ten Fun Facts About The All-Star Game

I honestly can't remember the last time I watched David Letterman. Probably late 90's if not earlier. Which makes me wonder if any of these MLB All-Stars actually know who David Letterman is. Jared Weaver looked lost, high, or whatever with that "happening mullet."

Via ExtraMustard

This Lightning Strike in Arlington Looked Fun

Yeah not scary at all. Now excuse me while I go wipe the piss off my leg.

Trout For MVP Anaheim Baseball T-Shirt

Here is the newest SportsCrack.com t-shirt called TROUT FOR MVP. If you saw his amazing catch in Baltimore you know that this Trout can jump and fly with the best of them. We are taking preorders now. Shipping starts July 9th on these limited edition Trout For MVP t-shirts. As always a portion of all sales goes to the American Cancer Society.

Isaiah Crowell Arrested on Gun Charges

Georgia tailback and leading rusher Isaiah "Shotgun" Crowell was arrested this morning and charged with multiple felonies including carrying a concealed weapon. Don't worry folks Mark Richt will give him a come to Jesus talk.

According to Athens-Clarke police spokesperson Hilda Sorrow, Crowell was arrested as the result of as “vehicle check-point stop” — a road block — on East Campus Road at Green Street at 2:20 a.m. Friday. Officer Kristin Thornton reported smelling the odor of marijuana in Crowell’s 2005 Mercury Grand Marquis. Crowell gave consent to search the vehicle, himself and four other unnamed occupants. No marijuana was discovered but a 9-mm Luger handgun with an altered serial number was found under the driver’s seat. Crowell was immediately arrested and taken to jail and the car was impounded.

My guess is Crowell will never play another down between the hedges. It seems like every offseason I'm making excuses for one of their tailbacks getting suspended or thrown out of school. Actually it is every offseason. Crowell is just the latest "can't miss" prospect who just couldn't grow up and mature in Athens. It's probably Mike Bobo's fault.

Don't worry Georgia fans. You still have freshman Keith Marshall. He won't get in trouble because he is actually a good kid off the field. His skill set is similar to Crowell but he doesn't have quite the size. Marshall is the fastest guy on the team though so he will be fun to watch.

Special Report: ESPN's Andy Katz Reports Jared Sullinger Has Bulging Dicks

Yes that would be a concern for any NBA team. You can't just take a guy like Ohio State forward Jared Sullinger if he suffers from a bad case of bulging dicks.

SportsCrack 2012 Preseason All-American Team: Defense

Defense wins championships right? It's hard to argue with it last year when two of the best defenses in the nation in Alabama and LSU squared off for the BCS Championship. Of course we will conveniently ignore the year before when Auburn and Oregon both had average defenses yet competed for the crystal ball. Just the thought of all these guys playing on the same defense made Matt Barkley shit his pants.

DEFENSIVE END-Sam Montgomery (LSU)
LSU produces stellar defensive lineman like Nickelback produces complete shit. One after another. Montgomery is a returning 1st team All-American who was a finalist for the Defensive End of the Year Award. His 9 sacks last year were a team high. Expect double digits in 2012.

DEFENSIVE TACKLE-John Jenkins (Georgia)
At 6'3 351 pounds Jenkins is basically two men carved into one hell of a beast. Jenkins will plug the middle for a potentially great UGA defense this season. Don't be surprised if he has a Nick Fairley impact his senior season.

DEFENSIVE TACKLE-Star Lotulelei (Utah)
A potential #1 overall draft pick Star is the most complete Utah football player since...well...ever. The 6'4 320 defensive end is constantly double and even tripled team but still made a hell of an impact last year in the PAC-12 earning 1st team honors. Brings back memories of Ndamukong.

DEFENSIVE END-William Gholston (Michigan State)
It kills me to say this about a Sparty player but Gholston is probably the most underrated defensive player in the country. Gholston is still growing and at 6'7 275 pounds it's hard for any tackle to stop him in his tracks. Gholston has tremendous upside and I think he will put it all together this season after a spectacular bowl game vs Georgia (5 tackles for loss).

OUTSIDE LINEBACKER-Jarvis Jones (Georgia)
You know USC is crying in their dirty Trojans letting this stud linebacker transfer to the east coast. Jones was a finalist for the Butkus Award last year while earning 1st team All-American honors after recording a staggering 19.5 tackles for loss and 13.5 sacks. He should once again dominate between the hedges in 2012.

INSIDE LINEBACKER-Manti Te'o (Notre Dame)
Manti came to South Bend as the most highly regarded defensive player in the past 20 years and has yet to disappoint. Manti once again led the Irish in tackles while earning 1st team All-American honors. He shocked many including myself when he decided to come back for his senior season. Manti is already a legend at Notre Dame but 2012 will give him the chance to be considered the greatest linebacker in their storied history.

INSIDE LINEBACKER-Shayne Skov (Stanford)
When I think of inside linebackers I tend to think of guys who are always there making a play on defense. The Ray Lewis-type players. Skov is that type of guy. The fast and tenacious Skov is coming back from a serious knee injury he suffered early last season. He should once again be the leader in a very underrated Stanford D.

OUTSIDE LINEBACKER-Gerald Hodges (Penn State)
"Linebacker U" just continues to produce standouts and it doesn't change with Hodges. Unlike the past great Nittany Lions Hodges doesn't have to worry about dropping the soap in the showers anymore. Also he doesn't have to worry about JoePa eating his brains. Or does he? In all seriousness Hodges is a great player and should be fun to watch his senior season in Happy Valley.

CORNERBACK-David Amerson (NC State)
The returning 1st team All-American led the nation in INTS with 13 last season. He was the winner of the Jack Tatum Award for nation's best defensive back and probably should have won the Thorpe Award over Mo Claiborne. At 6'3 194 he's a little bigger than most corners but he doesn't lack in speed or recovery time.

FREE SAFETY-Eric Reid (LSU)
One of the hardest hitting safeties in the nation who also is the team leader down in Baton Rouge. Reid earned All-American honors during a stellar sophomore season last year and should once again be a player offenses gameplan around. This kid has the brains and the brawn to be one of the best safeties in the college game since Ed Reed.

STRONG SAFETY-Ray Ray Armstrong (Miami)
For one reason or another Armstrong has been able to put it all together and stay on the field down in Coral Gables. That changes this year. Physically gifted with closing speed and instincts Ray Ray should have a great senior season.

CORNERBACK-Xavier Rhodes (FSU)
Rhodes will be the first to tell you he didn't have the best 2011 season due to some leg injuries. It's one of the main reasons why he chose to come back and not enter the NFL draft. The nagging pain should be gone and I fully expect Rhodes to be back to his stellar self.


SPECIAL TEAMS

PUNTER-Brady Wing (LSU)
KICKER-Caleb Sturgis (Florida)
KICK RETURNER-De'Anthony Thomas (Oregon)
The Black Mamba don't fuck around. He takes it to the house.

PUNT RETURNER-Tyrann Mathieu (LSU)
The Honey Badger don't give a shit. He takes what he wants.

Mike Trout Makes An Amazing Catch in Baltimore

Even though 20-year old Angels outfielder Mike Trout wasn't recalled from the minors until April 28th he still leads the American League with a .344 batting average and 21 stolen bases. Everybody is talking about Bryce Harper and for good reason but why is the national media "clown"ing Trout and not giving him the props he deserves?

Last year Trout was the #1 rated prospect in baseball. He also was a first round draft pick but unlike Harper he went late in the first. There are at least 20 teams kicking themselves in the ass for passing up the high flying Trout.

Trout is another old school player much like Harper. He hustles. All the time. He's also fearless when it comes to defense. And by judging from last night's amazing rob of a JJ Hardy home run Trout's stock will continue to swim upstream with the leather.

So if you had just one player to start a MLB franchise with who are you taking: Trout or Harper?

Typical New York Yankees Cheating At Baseball

Let me guess. Rudy Giuliani gave DeWayne Wise the key to the city for another classic cheating moment. The Yankees always reward behavior like this. Right after this play one of the Steinbrenners kids gave umpire John Hannahan a lifetime suite for botching such an easy call. Hey dipshit why don't you actually look in Wise glove to see if... get this...the actual ball is in there? I know it's totally ridiculous to question a guy in the pinstripes in New York but you might want to do your job correctly.

SportsCrack 2012 Preseason All-American Team: Offense

Every single offseason we do a preseason college football All-American team and every year it continues to gets bigger. In fact I think more football players would rather make the SportsCrack list than the Playboy list. The SportsCrack list doesn't guarantee you a visit to the Playboy mansion but it does insure you will be a star for years to come. Plus you can't get VD from our selection. As least not from me.


QB-Matt Barkley (USC)
Barkley surprised everybody including myself when he decided to come back for his senior season. A projected top 10 pick, Barkley will be looking to do what Andrew Luck couldn't do last season: win a Heisman and/or National Championship.


RB-Marcus Lattimore (South Carolina)
Lattimore was the best running back in the SEC the past two seasons in my opinion before suffering a serious knee injury. If Lattimore played for Bama he would already have a statue next to Saban. Instead he plays in Columbia where he should be happy to make a bowl game.


RB-Montee Ball (Wisconsin)
"Money Ball" as they call him in Madison returns for his senior season after rushing for nearly 2000 yards and an astonishing 39 touchdowns combined. You know Wisconsin is going to run their horse again this season.


WR-Sammy Watkins (Clemson)
Watkins was clearly the best freshman in the nation last year. He is the most explosive player in the ACC since CJ Spiller was toting the rock for the orange and purple a few years back. Watkins will put up better numbers this year. His drive and determination will make him the best wideout in the nation.


WR-Robert Woods (USC)
Nearly 1300 yards and 15 touchdowns for the returning Biletnikoff Finalist. He will have the best QB in the nation throwing him balls with a #2 receiver in Marqise Lee who would be a #1 at 99% of the other schools not named the Trojans. Woods will be electric again this season.


TE-Tyler Eifert (Notre Dame)
Eifert should have won the Mackey Award last season for best tight end in the country. He will get his chance during his senior season to lay his big mitts on it playing in an offense that will feature him again splitting out to wideout. At 6'6 expect this gazelle to put up video game numbers especially with Everett Golson throwing to him.

CENTER-Barrett Jones (Alabama)
Jones was an All-American tackle last year for the National Champs and also played guard for the 2009 Champs. This year he will play center and again will dominate the SEC. Besides QB Jones is the most valuable player on the Tide roster.

OFFENSIVE GUARD-Omoregie Uzzi (Georgia Tech)
Uzzi helps open up holes on the inside for Paul Johnson's triple option down in the Flats. And by opening up holes I mean he trucks over lineman and lays on top of them. Yeah Uzzi loves pancakes.

OFFENSIVE GUARD-Jonathan Cooper (North Carolina)
The 6'3 325 pound senior has good feet and even quicker hands. You gotta have those quick hands when you are taking classes that don't really exist right?

OFFENSIVE TACKLE-DJ Fluker (Alabama)
Alabama's offensive line is pretty disgusting with the best center in Jones and now the best left tackle in Fluker. They also got one of the best guards in Chance Warmack. There is a good reason why Bama wins so many games in the trenches. Fluker is one of them.

OFFENSIVE TACKLE-Chris Faulk (LSU)
While Fluker is the best offensive tackle in college football right now I think Faulk could turn himself into the best one by midseason. The 6'6 325 pound tackle isn't even as heralded as his teammate in opposite end tackle Alex Hurst but Faulk will be a man among boys this season. By the end of the season he will have worked his way up to a top 5 pick.

Kate Upton Running on the Beach, Skateboarding, Hula Hooping, Shooting Hoops, Riding Rollercoasters, and Wet T-shirt Contest Video

I'm just going to do a slow, slow golf clap for this new GQ video featuring Kate Upton. When you are at the top of your game like Upton is you just have to sit back and admire it. Upton knows she is the Jordan of models. The Montana of winning t-shirt contests. She is the Tiger Woods of confidence that she can use her "talents" to get her whatever she wants. Bravo Kate Upton. Bravo.

I think Kate Upton could run for office. She clearly knows how to give people what they want. What is that you ask?





Via BigLeadSports

Finally College Football Will Have A Playoff

The best news to hit the college football landscape in some time is somehow being ignored by the mass media but I wanted to give my thoughts on it. Yesterday the BCS Commissioners and Notre Dame AD Jack Swarbrick (shows you how much money ND brings to the table) formally endorsed a four-team playoff seeded model designed to begin in the 2014 season. The four-team playoff would replace the much debated BCS System which has been in place since 1998.

Thank you college football corporate Gods!

Am I completely satisfied with the new proposal? No.

I would prefer to see at least 8 teams involved in the playoff. With over 120 teams I think 8 is fair. 4 seems to leave too much up to debate at the end of the year in my opinion. But it's a step in the right direction.

There will still be controversy because you will have teams who don't win their conference in the playoff (the playoff only considers the top 4 teams in the nation at the end of the season according to ranking system) but it also keeps the regular season to the utmost importance besides filling the pockets of all the old rich guys in charge of the bowls, conferences, and schools. The four teams would be selected by a committee which is suppose to consider criteria such as conference championship and strength of schedule but it's not exclusive to it.

Come to think of it the more I look at it the more pissed off I get but I shouldn't. I should just be happy that college football will finally have a playoff of some sort. But still the whole thing seems shady with the existing BCS bowls rotating games of importance and the all important National Championship game would go to the city with the highest bidder.

Basically whomever has the most money will dictate the playoff in some way. College football has always had a political feel to it so obviously that won't change. But instead of focusing on the student-athletes and the fans who all want a real playoff system in place that is not dictated by lining the pockets of the notoriously corrupt bowl system we are being given a plus one system.

But then again it's better than the shitty BCS right? Fuck. Me.

Bryce Harper Wears Our "That's A Clown Question, Bro!" T-shirt During Batting Practice

Thanks to Washington Nationals announcer F.P. Santangelo a first in SportsCrack.com history happened yesterday: an athlete wore one of our shirts during batting practice.

Bryce Harper coined the phrase "That's A Clown Question, Bro" just 7 days ago in Toronto when asked by a reporter what his beer of choice would be and yesterday he was spotted wearing our shirt during warmups.

Wednesday, Harper took the next step, wearing a T-shirt with "That's a clown question, bro" emblazoned across the front before the game against the Tampa Bay Rays, according to the Washington Post.

Thanks go out to the Washington Post's James Wagner and Dan Steinberg for giving us the heads up on Harper wearing our shirt during BP. We also want to thank Santangelo for personally delivering it to Bryce in the clubhouse who said he "loved the shirt" and now all of his teammates want one. Also HUGE thanks go out to our buddy and Natitude fanatic Adam McGinnis whom endured my pestering for a good Bryce shirt idea for weeks and delivered amazingly with the instant classic "That's A Clown Question, Bro" before it all went viral last week. Also thank you to Tommy Griffith's of Big 100.3 in DC who had us on air last week to talk about the shirt. Tommy is a good guy and you should definitely give him a listen if you like classic rock. And of course thank you to all the loyal customers and SportsCrack fanatics out there. You guys kick ass. Seriously.

Tomorrow I will be on ESPN 980 AM in DC with host Scott Jackson around 3:45 pm talking about the "That's A Clown Question Bro!" shirt. Give it a listen if you got the time in between not working like usual.

I'm still working on getting a solid picture of Bryce wearing the shirt. As soon as I receive it I will post it.