Olympic Figure Skating Farts
It's a damn good thing the Mexicans aren't involved with figure skating. Sochi would have exploded by now.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
This Dog Can Hang With Me Any Day, Takes Dump On Soccer Field
Man's best friend just perfectly summed up my feelings toward soccer by taking a gigantic shit on it. Ironically this was the most exciting thing to happen to soccer since Pele.
Monday, February 17, 2014
2014 NFL Mock Draft 2.0
We are still a couple of months away from the actual NFL draft but with the NFL Combine coming up I figured it would be fun to do a mock before we see all the official player measurables and times come in.
1. Houston - Johnny Manziel. The Texans have to draft a QB and what better way to bring back some fans then by drafting Johnny Football. He may not be tall but as Russell Wilson proved a couple of weeks ago his skills are enough to lead a team to the Super Bowl.
2. St. Louis - Jadeveon Clowney. Yes I know the Rams have two studs at defensive end already but Clowney is too much of a talent to pass up.
3. Jacksonville - Blake Bortles. The Jags will get either one of Johnny Football or Bortles. Bortles is the guy for now.
4. Cleveland - Teddy Bridgewater. It wouldn't shock me to see the Browns trade up to get one of either Bortles or Johnny Football but if they don't I got them going Teddy here.
5. Oakland - Jake Matthews. The Raiders could also trade up to get a potential franchise QB but instead take a potential All-Pro left tackle in Matthews.
6. Atlanta - Anthony Barr. The Falcons need elite talent who can rush the QB. Barr fits the bill perfectly.
7. Tampa Bay - Sammy Watkins. It will be too tempting for the Buccaneers to pass on a game changing wideout.
8. Minnesota - Derek Carr. He's a project but his upside is tremendous.
9. Buffalo - Khalil Mack. The Buffalo U product won't have to travel far.
10. Detroit - Mike Evans. Detroit loves receivers in the first round.
11. Tennessee - Craig Robinson. I'm not sure why teams are so fascinated with this left tackle but he's projected to go top 10 on a lot of boards.
12. New York Giants - Zach Martin. The Giants need help up front. Martin can play either tackle or guard.
13. St. Louis - Taylor Lewan. The Rams decide to protect Sam Bradford with this roid head.
14. Chicago - Haha Clinton-Dix. The Bears need help in the secondary. Someone like Clinton-Dix who can actually tackle should help.
15. Pittsburgh - Timmy Jernigan. I think Jernigan has All-Pro potential at DT.
16. Dallas - Louis Nix. The Cowboys needs a run stuffer who can take on two linemen. Irish Chocolate can do both.
17. Baltimore - Marqise Lee. Flacco needs more weapons to throw to and Lee is good enough to start right away.
18. New York Jets - Eric Ebron. Scouts love this North Carolina tight end and I know he is good but I think this will be the first reach pick in the draft.
19. Miami - CJ Mosley. Inside linebackers tend to be hit or miss in the first round. Dolphins hope Mosley fills a need.
20. Arizona - Aaron Donald. A little undersized Donald has the motor to succeed in the NFL at defensive tackle.
21. Green Bay - Justin Gilbert. The first corner to come off the board.
22. Philadelphia - Darqueze Dennard. The Eagles need help in the secondary. This Michigan State product brings swagger to the back end.
23. Kansas City - Kony Ealy. The Chiefs could use another pass-rusher and the Mizzou product has an ability to put pressure on the QB.
24. Cincinnati - Ra'Shede Hageman. The Bengals can team up Hageman with Geno Atkins to make a lethal combo inside.
25. San Diego - Jason Verrett. Chargers defense needs corners bad and Verrett is the best leftover.
26. Cleveland - Cyrus Kouandijo. The Browns will be looking to protect Bridgewater or whomever they trade up and get.
27. New Orleans - Stephon Tuitt. The Saints are looking for players who can make their secondary look better. Well a pass rusher can help alleviate some of the pressure on the secondary by getting to the QB.
28. Carolina - David Yankey. Cam Newton needs better protection. Yankey can play either tackle or guard.
29. New England - Jace Amaro. Patriots need help at tight end and Amaro is the best one available.
30. San Francisco - Odell Beckham. 49ers are looking for long term answers at wide out.
31. Denver - Dee Ford. We all saw how poorly the Broncos did getting to the QB in the SuperBowl.
32. Seattle - Antonio Richardson. This Vols left tackle will help protect RussellMania.
Farewell to The Captain #2 Shirts and Hoodies Now Available!
As you know I'm not the biggest Yankees fan in the world. In fact I've loathed them since conception. But I sure as hell respect Derek Jeter for his career both on and off the field. The guy got more top quality ass (talking legit 10's not 7's) than any player in any sport and he's done it right by not getting tied down with one chick. He's waiting till after his playing days are over to get hitched. Gotta respect the game from Jeter. You also gotta respect these awesome The Captain shirts and hoodies. Admit you love them!
Get these classic "The Captain" Farewell t-shirts and hoodies today! Don't be a dick...show your love for the biracial angel!
Saturday, February 15, 2014
TJ Oshie Scores on 4 of 6 Shootout Goals To Beat Russia!
In what was the best hockey game I've watched from start to finish USA's TJ Oshie became an American Fucking Legend with 4 shootout goals to beat Russia 3-2 this morning. In a back and forth spirited game in Sochi in front of Putin the Americans showed their resiliency by never backing down and sacrificing limbs by blocking a tremendous amount of shots from Russian stars Ilya Kovalchuk and Alexander Ovechkin.
Oshie will forever live in hockey folklore with his clutch shootout goals. International rules allow teams to send out the same shooter if they want and Oshie got the call today. Silky smooth with calm hands Oshie showed why he was the pick to click by delivering in front of a hostile Russian crowd. Speaking of delivering check out Oshie's wife Lauren. Oshie is already a legend off the ice apparently.
Almost forgot what it was like going out on a Saturday night 🙆 @OSH74 pic.twitter.com/EU42dM8VZA
— lauren cosgrove (@laurencosgrove3) January 13, 2014Friday, February 14, 2014
SportsCrack's New St. Patrick's Day Drink Like A Champion Today Shirt and Hoodie Are a Must Have
Before you know it St. Paddy's will be here and you don't want to be the only chump without the perfect Irish Green Drink Like A Champion Today Shamrock Shirt. And just in case it's too cold for you we came out with an Irish Green Hoodie version of it. These Drink Like A Champion St. Patrick's Day shirts also make the perfect gift for any husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, soul mate, drinking mate, etc. No excuses just get one today!
Thursday, February 13, 2014
According to The Onion The Sochi Olympic Village is One Giant Orgy Where Athletes Live, Train, and Fuck Each Other
Olympic Village Tour: See Where The Athletes Live, Train And Fuck Each Other
Admit it that you thought Russia was as cold hearted as Putin's puckered asshole. Now we see it's just one giant fuckfest in Sochi according to The Onion. Poor Lolo Jones must be as nervous as a virgin in a prison rodeo.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Jon Stewart Dives Into The Whole Michael Sam Coming Out of the Closet Story
I honestly think the best part of Missouri's defensive end Michael Sam coming out and stating he is gay before the NFL Draft is the media's desperate attempt to make it a bigger story than what it actually is. The media is searching frantically to find any NFL player or executive or fan or sports figure who doesn't agree with Sam's lifestyle so they can show us that the American public is still intolerant of gay people. And so far they haven't come up with shit. You know why? Because it's 2014 and nobody gives a shit if you are gay. In sports the two things that matters is if you are good enough to play and are you going to help my team win. And it's obvious Sam, the SEC defensive player of the year, is really good at football and helped Mizzou to their best season ever. So nobody gives a shit if Sam is gay except the media or someone else trying to push a certain agenda. God bless Michael Sam for coming out and God Bless America!
Monday, February 10, 2014
Friday, February 07, 2014
USC Celebrates After Signing Adoree' Jackson
This video just shows how the once mighty powerhouse USC Trojans have fallen to the wayside in the PAC-12. Yes getting Adoree' Jackson is a huge pickup. Jackson is the #1 prospect in California after all. But the fact that the Trojans staff are celebrating like school children and giving high fives while shouting "LET'S GO!" in what should have been a formality signing is sad and kind of pathetic. He's a 5'9 defensive back. Chances of Adoree' personally winning you some games is slim at that position. But kudos goes to new coach Steve Sarkisian and the Trojans staff in securing Jackson who should help immediately for the 5th or 6th best team in the PAC-12.
Thursday, February 06, 2014
One of the Worst Officiating Calls Ever: Kyle Lowry Called For Offensive and Technical Fouls on Fade Away 3-Point Shot
Seriously what the fuck was the ref looking at? Did he think Toronto Raptor's Kyle Lowry was trying to trip up the defender? It just makes no sense why he would be called for an offensive foul and then to top it off he gets a technical for running away and not arguing it. The NBA is fucking terrible. It's all flopping and bull shit calls like this.
Also it's baffling how the head coach, the player, and his teammates didn't go ape shit when this call was made. It just goes to show you they care more about the zeroes in their paycheck then the principle of winning.
Rumor Going Around Phil Knight Wants To Turn The Denver Broncos Uniform Into Oregon of the NFL
Via Reddit comes news of Nike's Phil Knight wanting to turn the Denver Broncos uniform into the Oregon Ducks of the NFL. I've also heard a good possibility the Broncos new helmet will be made and designed by HydroGraphics who do the Oregon and Notre Dame helmets.
Anyways to make this post actually worth your time reading it, I too saw the rumors yesterday about your team possibly being in the market for new uniforms. I called up my buddy and asked him if there was any truth to the rumors. Here's what he had to say:
Yes, you are getting new uniforms
This has been in the making since Nike took over
Until this past Sunday's events, Orange was to be the primary
Orange is no longer the primary as of Monday morning and Nike has been green lit to test a new color scheme
The Uniforms have a deadline of the 2015 Draft
This is the longest uniform project Nike has ever undertaken, and just like in 97 the Broncos will be given a template completely unique to them, not even Oregon will have this template for a couple years
A new logo is in the works
Phil Knight wants the Broncos to become the Oregon of the NFL. The team holds a special place in his heart as the first football team to let Nike have complete control over a design.
So there you have it Denver. Official news should come out around the beginning of next season. Nike is going to hype up this reveal big time.
EDIT: This is starting to get big time attention so I've deleted my source from this post to protect him. He assures me nothing I've shared violates his NDA, as I have revealed no official colors, themes, or uniform features.
Personally I love the idea. I wish my Atlanta Falcons were doing something like this. What do you think about new uniforms only for the Denver Broncos next season?
Marshawn Lynch's SuperBowl Parade Included a Fan's Fireball Whiskey
Now that is what we call "Beast Mode." If Seattle Seahawks RB Marshawn Lynch wants his Fireball Whiskey then you sure as hell better give it to him. Cops estimated over 700,000 people showed up for the victory parade yesterday in Seattle and Marshawn with all of his infinite talents spotted the one dude who had Fireball in the crowd. Moving duck boat be damned if Marshawn wants his Fireball then Marshawn is going to get it.
Via LarryBrownSports
Wednesday, February 05, 2014
Not Sure Why This Carl's Jr Big Sausage Breakfast SuperBowl Commercial Was Banned
Who doesn't love sausage? I guess those prudes who run network TV is the answer.
National Signing Day Special #GoldenArmy14 Shirts Only $6
Get the one and only #GoldenArmy14 shirt for only $6. It comes in both a cotton version and a performance gym shirt. Also all Tailgate Like A Champion shirts are $6 too.
Tuesday, February 04, 2014
Jared Lorenzen aka The Pillsbury Throwboy Still Has His Scrambling Ability
Holy blast from the past. We all remember portly Jared Lorenzen from his playing days at Kentucky where he threw for over 10,000 yards and 78 touchdowns during his illustrious college career but I had no clue this guy was even alive let alone playing "professional" football.
The highlight above is from this past weekend with the Northern Kentucky River Monsters. Lorenzen is now 320 pounds of gridiron God of donuts but still has his patented scrambling eggs of moves with him. The Pillsbury Throwboy as he is affectionally called can still hot dog it on the field despite his little T-Rex arms. I'm impressed. And hungry.
Via BarStoolSports
Monday, February 03, 2014
Naked Seahawks Fan Shows His Legion of Boom on Live Seattle TV News
Not even going to lie...if one of my teams won a championship I would have my cock and balls flopping out everywhere. Just straight cockslapping reporters on live air if it actually happened. Fortunately for you none of my favorite teams are that close to a championship.
Still waiting for some female nudie Seahawks shots. Make it happen Seattle.
Richard Sherman's 30/30 Mockumentary By Frank Caliendo Was Hysterical
Comedian Frank Caliendo nailed every single impersonation in this Richard Sherman mockumentary. The impersonations of Jon Gruden and Jim Harbaugh are comedy gold. I could feel tears forming. Chris Berman waving his hands and muttering like he has a peanut butter sandwich in his mouth is spot on. George Bush's "Dijon" Sanders is also a favorite. Shit this whole sketch is classic. Caliendo brought his 98 mph heat with a back breaking curveball to this one.
Speaking of heat how about you do yourself a favor and get the shirt that's turned into rock star status now that the Seahawks have captured their first Super Bowl: Russell Mania.
Wing Bowl 22 in Philly Was Full of Fights
Philadelphia had it's annual Wing Bowl yesterday and if you have ever wondered what an insane asylum would look like without security or medication then here you go. Just a bunch of wild animals going crazy. White trash mucking it up in the stands while contestants below eat chicken wings for a grand prize of $22,000. The winner was a 120 pound mom of 4 who managed to eat a staggering World Record of 363 wings. Her kids must be so proud. Full disclosure the Wing Bowl was 4 times more entertaining than the shitty Super Bowl last night. What a shitstorm that game was in East Rutherford.
Friday, January 31, 2014
Failed Joe Buck Super Bowl Promo is Spot On
You gotta give credit where credit is due: at least Joe Buck can laugh at himself. Nothing is worse than some pompous a-hole who can't take a joke.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
