3RD Team CFB Offense Preseason All-American Team

With College Football a little more than two months away from kickoff I decided to start up the tailgate early and start bombing out some preseason articles. Everyone loves preseason All-American lists almost as much as Pete Carroll loves his shit eating grin. So today let's take a look at the 3rd team offense.

QUARTERBACK
Pat White, West Virginia-Entering his 4th year as the starting quarterback of the Mountaineers, White is the most dangerous runner in the nation with apologies to Tim Tebow and Jake Locker. Last year White ran for 1335 yards, averaging 6.8 YPC and scoring 14 TDs on the ground. In the air White is impressive as well, completing 66.7% of his passes while throwing 14 TDs with only 4 INTs. White was a little banged up last season and it cost them a shot at the BCS Title game when he left the Pitt game but he should be 100% this season. He has Heisman dreams and don't be surprised to see him in New York for the ceremony.




RUNNINGBACK
Marlon Lucky, Nebraska-Lucky has flown under the radar on some bad Cornhuskers teams but make no mistake the guy is one of the best tailbacks in the nation. Lucky is a fluid RB who can cut and hit a hole that would make Peter North jealous. He is also a great receiver out of the backfield compiling 75 receptions last year bringing back memories of a poor man's Marshall Faulk. Compiling his first 1000 yard rushing season during his junior season, new coach Bo Pelini will use Lucky early and often. He also is a triple threat with the ability to pass....


CJ Spiller, Clemson-Spiller is the Lightning in the Clemson backfield and even if his sophomore season was a bit of a disappointment I expect big things from him. Spiller averaged over 5 YPC but didn't nearly get enough touches last year as his teammate James Davis got the majority. Spiller is a threat to take it to the house every time he touches the ball and hopefully little Bowden wakes up and realizes it. While Davis will again get his touches, don't be surprised to see Spiller run for over 1000 yards while catching 50 plus balls out of the backfield while being featured in a Reggie Bush role. Hey CJ, do the Heisman on that Ho!...




FULLBACK
Conredge Collins, Pittsburgh-Not much to say about big Conredge other than he is a throwback type fullback who loves to blast linebackers while opening up holes for tailback LeSean McCoy. Collins is an important piece of the puzzle for Wanny's team as it looks to build upon an upset of West Virginia at the end of the year and take the Panthers to a bowl game. He may not be as good as Lorenzo Neal but the kid knows how to hit people and should get drafted next year.



WIDE RECEIVER
Sammie Stroughter, Oregon State-Slammin Sammy is back from depression and was granted an extra year of eligibility by the NCAA despite playing in 3 games last season. Stroughter might be short in stature but the kid has pinball moves and is one of the hardest, most elusive players to tackle in the college game. Expect big things as Stroughter will catch at least 70 balls while scoring 10+ TDs and also will be a huge threat returning punts and kickoffs.






Jarrett Dillard, Rice-Dillard plays in a spread offense at Rice and during his sophomore year he was a finalist for the Biletnikoff Award. Last year his numbers were down but he still had over a 1000 yards receiving while catching 14 TDs. They were only down because during his sophomore year he caught 21 TDs which included a streak of 15 straight games with at least 1 TD(2nd longest in NCAA history). Rice hasn't won an outright conference title since 1957 and there is a 99.9% chance they won't again this year but it's not Dillard's fault. He may only be 5'11 but his vertical jump makes him an extremely dangerous target...


Demetrius Byrd, LSU-This catch saved LSU's season against Auburn last year...

It took some huge balls from Les Miles to make that call but took even bigger balls to catch the ball in traffic the way Byrd did with the game hanging in the balance. We all know LSU has talent and Byrd is one of the best of them. The 6'2 senior should be a go-to target for whomever is throwing the passes down in Baton Rouge.



TIGHT END
Jermaine Gresham, Oklahoma-Gresham is a vital part of the Sooners offense and is often Sam Bradford's outlet pass when everything else is covered. Gresham tallied 11 TD catches last season leading the team and was one of the main reasons why Bradford led the nation in passing efficiency. He tied a school record with 4 TDs against Texas A&M and was third on the team in receiving yards with 518. Gresham should be a finalist for the Mackey Award which goes to the top tight end if he can stay healthy and should help the Sooners back to a BCS game. His picture on the right is clearly going to be used as a motivational tool for Mack Brown going into the Red River Shootout. We got your back Jermaine.



CENTER
Max Unger, Oregon-I'm sorry but the name of Max Unger sounds like some machine sent from another planet that was meant to destroy whatever it came in contact with. Actually that is a pretty good way to explain what Unger does to imposing PAC-10 DTs on Saturdays. Unger has been a big reason for Jonathan Stewart's success the past few seasons and should again open holes for what coach Mike Bellotti described as his best offensive line since he has been there.



GUARD
Jeff Byers, USC-Byers came to USC with a ton of hype surrounding him as the #1 player out of the state of Colorado. So far injuries and position changes have tempered those expectations but 2008 should be a good one for the senior. He should represent these Trojans with pride...


Dan Doering, Iowa-This highly touted redshirt junior is ready for a big season. Iowa is known to produce NFL caliber offensive line with 7 selections in the past 4 years in the draft. Doering could be one of the best as the 6'6, 300 pound guard should have an excellent season while helping lead Iowa back to a bowl game.



TACKLE
Ciron Black, LSU-The 6'5, 314 pounder started 13 games last season as a redshirt freshman while being named to the 1st team Freshmen All-American team and earning 2nd team All-SEC. The kid is a beast and should be a part of one of the deepest and most talented lines in all of college football.

Phil Loadholt, Oklahoma-Speaking of top offensive lines in the country, on paper it looks like Oklahoma will have the best thanks to JUCO transfer Loadholt. Loadholt was excellent last season and started all 14 games at left tackle earning himself 2nd team All-Big 12. The Sooners return all 6 starters on the line with a combined 130 career starts. Now maybe you know why they are a preseason top 5 team and Loadholt is a main reason.

Coming tomorrow: 3rd Team Preseason Defense All-American Team

TODD JONES DOING HIS BEST MAGGLIO ORDONEZ

Funny, I don't see a needle sticking out of his ass. Come on Todd Jones, you can impersonate him a little better. More slow paced hobbling running around the bases. There you go you Paul Giamatti you.

I vote for all ballplayers to do shit like this during rain delays. Either that or have some hot ballgirls in bikinis doing slip n slide across the tarp. Now that is good ole family entertainment.

TIGER WOODS APPLE CORE FETCHES $36,000

An Ebay auction for Tiger Woods left over apple core from the US Open just ended with some dicknut shelling out $36,000 for it. It's not like it's a freaking Monet or anything. The guy from Phoenix who was selling the apple core has this description on his Ebay page:

I was at the US Open this Friday, following Tiger Woods down the 12 th Fairway, after his tee shot, he was eating an apple, 30 yards from his ball he discarded his apple core in the rough, I asked a photothe to kick it over my way, and he did, I never touched the core, Scooped it up in a empty beer cup, as not to disrupt the DNA, Ive got lots of witness'...all moneys go to my daughters college fund

He threw it in the rough. Fucking polluter! I always knew there was something wrong with Tiger. Al Gore is going to send him a very nasty letter about how Tiger is melting the Polar Ice Caps by driving around a Buick and throwing out his used apple cores.

So the Phoenix man basically just paid all if not a good portion of his daughter's college fund by something that might have Tiger Woods DNA on it. I can only imagine what a left over condom would fetch. If an apple core can get 36 grand I would say a Trojan gets at least 100 grand. Where is Elin when we need her? I guess I should go untie her and let her put the lotion in the basket before she gets the hose again.

HT: The Big Lead

NEW JC PENNY COMMERCIAL

For some reason JC Penny decided to remove this commercial because they thought it was controversial and promoted teenage sex. I'm still at a lost for words. Watch it and you tell me if those JC Penny officials are not just conservative d-bags for letting something so innocent be construed so poorly...

See, they just want to go to the basement for...oh wait...yeah...umm....that word has many different interpretations depending on what region of the country you live in. Nevermind.

GIVE ME SOME COLLEGE FOOTBALL

Only a couple of more months till we get to experience the passion and heart of college football. If this doesn't get you fired up then just leave this website because I hate you already...


Just a warning, the majority of the posts from today till the BCS Championship game between Georgia and USC in 2009 are going to be devoted to college football. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Now let's lay down that sledgehammer...

Ride or die troops.

HE SAID IT FIRST

NSFW if your work doesn't like the use of four letter words that rhyme with punt...

R.I.P. GEORGE CARLIN

Comedy lost a legend yesterday when George Carlin passed away from heart failure at the age of 71. He will not be forgotten. Thanks for everything George, and give them hell up there in heaven.

LACROSSE CHEERLEADER GETS A BALL FACIAL

I never knew they had cheerleaders in LAX as the cool people call it. Maybe now some people will watch it. Nothing like taking a hard ball shot to get our attention.

HT: FanIQ

TY WILLINGHAM STILL RECRUITING AT THE GOLF COURSE

It seems Washington Huskies coach Ty Willingham has learned the only way to recruit the best players in the country is by perfecting your stroke...on the golf course! Willingham is a notoriously lazy recruiter who would rather spend his days on the links than on the front lines of recruit's homes and schools. This was one of the main reasons why Notre Dame fired him.

It's good to see nothing has changed up in Washington for old Ty. I'm sure his whole game plan this season is to give the ball to Jake Locker. Don't worry about drawing up plays or anything, just "let him do his thing" will be Ty's motto again this season. The scary part is Locker is talented enough to perhaps send the Huskies to a winning season and a bowl game thus insuring the long nightmare of Huskies fans will live on with Willingham given an extension at the end of the year.

Via UHND

VANILLA ICE IS THE BET

Apparently Kevin Millar and Jason Varitek had a NBA Finals bet going on with whomever lost had to cut, dye, and style their hair to look like Vanilla Ice back in the "Ice, Ice, Baby" days.

Bromoblog broke the story and even has pictures and video to show that clearly Millar had his ego and hairstyle on the wrong team...




Here is Millar coming out for his first at-bat last night in Baltimore against the Astros...


"To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal" was Millar last night as he delivered the game winning hit last night for the O's. I used to listen to "Ice, Ice, Baby" all the time when I was in middle school and even had the dance moves down. Don't laugh because everybody did. Now my music selection is much more selective as I only listen to the greats like Hannah Montana and Britney Spears.

THE DAILY DUMP

The Daily Dump is SportsCrack's review of the day before today while sitting on the porcelain throne, sometimes painful, sometimes oh so sweet...

Okay, it appears the "daily" dump is now becoming the "weekly" dump. I promise to eat more fiber and keep it rocking. Ain't that right Marisa?

MLB
-How about that Orioles magic? The Orioles again came back last night, albeit a 1-0 deficit in the 7th, to beat the Astros 2-1 on Kevin Millar's RBI single in the 9th inning. The O's now sit 2 games over .500 for the first time since May 22nd and go for the sweep of former O's teammate Miggy's Astros tonight. Luke Scott, whom was acquired in the Tejada trade this offseason, hit a measured 423 foot home run in the 7th to tie the game.

-The Chicago Cubs experienced some discomfort last night against the Rays in losing not only the game but possibly their ace in Carlos Zambrano. Zambrano left during the 7th inning with a sore pitching shoulder and will have a MRI today.

"He's got shoulder discomfort, and we don't know more than that," Cubs manager Lou Piniella said.

After losing Alfonso Soriano to a broken hand the Cubbies can't afford to lose their ace for a reasonable amount of time. Oh wait, they play in the NL Central. Nevermind, Zambrano can go on a five week sabbatical and it still wouldn't matter. The Cubs are a shoo-in to win this division. Mark my words.

-You don't know how much this hurts me to say this but, fuck me, JD Drew deserves to be on the All-Star team this season. Drew has been on a tear of late and came up a triple short of the cycle yesterday in helping the Red Sox beat the Phillies 7-4. JD finished with 4 hits and seemed to thrive when hearing the boos from the Phillies faithful. You can watch his line drives at this link. After praising Drew you know it's only a matter of hours before he goes down with a case of swollen asinitis.

ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!

I'm not going to make fun of Kevin Garnett. In fact, I love to see players get emotional when they just won a championship. Garnett wanted it so badly he thanked his baby's momma. You know you want it a lot if you are thanking your baby Boo.

I wonder what Adidas reps thought when he shouted it out. I could see some short pencil pusher white guy with glasses running up to KG and shouting "No KG, it's IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING, IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING!!" while being pushed over by the mob and crying at the end. KG's tears were made of joy. The corporate guy's tears were made from the impending corporate downsizing he surely faced today.

I love sports and their meanings.

BILL BAVASI PARTING WORDS ON BEDARD

Ousted Seattle Mariner's GM Bill Bavasi had some nice parting words for starting pitcher Erik Bedard during his press conference...(fast forward to the 2:00 minute mark)...

"He'll have a stupid answer for you, you can count on it,'' Bavasi said. "He'll have some dumbass answer.''

Wow, apparently Bavasi didn't do his homework before trading for Bedard. Look, Bedard was the same way in Baltimore. He hates to talk to the media and he throws a ton of pitches. He seems unemotional but these are things Bavasi should have already known before cleaning out their minor league talent to acquire him. Bedard isn't the reason why you got fired. He may be one of the reasons but there was the ridiculous signing of Richie Sexson. Sexson has been horrible and with his fat contract is not even an adequate first baseman. The Adrian Beltre signing backfired too. You passed on the chance to get Vladimir Guerrero and Miguel Tejada and instead opted for Raul Ibanez and Rich Aurilia. You gave Carlos effing Silva a stupid contract. You were the worst GM by far in major league baseball.

Don't blame Bedard for your downfall. Look in the mirror Bavasi and read the press clippings. You can only blame yourself for putting the Mariners in the gutter. And I have no idea what he means by "white line fever." Sounds like a fun supermodel party to me. Maybe Bavasi is still coked up because all of his baseball moves were as rational as a cokehead.

Video HT: Seattle Times

CONGRATULATIONS BOSTON CELTICS

The Boston Celtics won their 17th NBA Championship last night by absolutely destroying the Los Angeles Lakers to give the long suffering Boston Chowderheads another sports championship. With the Red Sox winning two World Series, the Patriots winning three Super Bowls, and now the Celtics winning one I think it is appropriate to call Boston Titletown. Yes the New York Giants won the Super Bowl but the city of New York will be getting grief for a long time from all the Massholes who are reveling in this championship run.

El Presidente of Boston's Barstool Sports summed it up best when discussing the feeling of euphoria of winning yet another sports championship...

First of all, let me start by saying I’m shitfaced. Second of all, I’m drenched in beer from people doing the champagne thing in the bar. Third of all I’m shitfaced. Having said that I feel like I need to write a quick blog before I pass out. Now I’m not one of those guys who like to say I told you so. So I’m not going to sit here and brag about how at the beginning of this series I said that the Lakers being a 2 to 1 favorite was one of the biggest jokes of all time. I’m not going to say that I told you the Celtics would not only win this series but they’d dominate it. I’m not going to say that I told you Paul Pierce was just as good as Kobe Bryant. I’m not going to bring up how everybody except the Stool overlooked the fact that the Celts were 25-5 against the West this year. I’m not going to mention how I was 7-0 in mortal locks this series. The bottom-line is that bragging about that type of shit just isn’t my style. And more importantly anybody can look like a genius when you live in Boston. I mean we fucking own this world! Honestly how many fucking parades can one city have? Congratulations Boston, we did it again! And to everybody who doesn’t like us. Fuck off and suck our rings!

And you know he is absolutely right. They own the sports world right now. No need to argue the fact. And yes we are all jealous of the championships. But in doing so they have become the new New York. Loud and brash and ready to tell everybody that "O'doyle rules."

THE NEW iPHONE 3G HAS MANY PURPOSES

I couldn't have said it better myself...

THE NEW JC 7 SHAMROCK SHIRT

Get ready for the season with this great JC 7 Shamrock irish green shirt available exclusively at Sportscrack Tees.

New HUGHES IT or LOSE IT Shirt

This shirt is the new motto for all Irish people and fans this season when it comes to achieving greatness. We either Hughes it with our Shamrock 33 back or there is a chance we could lose it.

The shirt is $17 and is available at HUGHES IT OR LOSE IT which of course is an exclusive Sportscrack Tee.

Be on the lookout for more t-shirts coming soon!

CAN'T STOP WATCHING

Down to the final hole on 18, Rocco Mediate has a one shot lead over Tiger Woods. Going for his first ever major at the age of 45 a lot of people are pulling for Rocco including myself. But a lot more people are pulling for Tiger.

The drama continues...

UPDATE at 4:07 PM: Tiger just birded the 18th to send it into a sudden death playoff.
Rocco still looks confident and calm while Tiger continues to be Tiger.

No nerves. No emotion. Tiger can't be human.

UPDATE at 4:14 PM: Tiger hits the fairway on his first drive in sudden death. Now Rocco, the 158th ranked golfer in the world, snaps his drive into the bunker and finally looks flustered.

UPDATE at 4:17 PM: Rocco still joking and laughing while he walks up the fairway. As much pressure as there is it looks like Rocco is having the time of his life. His lie in the bunker is not TOO bad, but then again it's never fun to be on the beach when you are on a golf course.

UPDATE at 4:19 PM: You can pretty much put it in the bag for Tiger. Rocco pulls his second shot into the grandstand area.

UPDATE at 4:21 PM: Tiger is going to hit his 9 Iron into the green. Of course he nails it on the green, now just needs to two putt it for another Championship.

UPDATE at 4:23 PM: Rocco gets a drop because he is within a club length of the grandstand. He pretty much needs to hit it within 5 feet to give himself a chance. No spin on the ball going into the green, he now has at least a 15 footer for par. Tiger remains stoic as usual.

By the way, Hi Def golf looks incredible.

UPDATE at 4:27 PM: Tiger just comes short on his par putt, maybe 2 inches if that. Rocco now has to nail his long par putt to send it to another sudden death hole.

UPDATE at 4:28 PM: Rocco misses the putt wide right. Tiger wins again. Rocco handles it with class and gives Tiger a hug. 14th majors now for Tiger. Jack Nicklaus continues to look in his rearview mirror, a Tiger continues to creep up on him.

The reason why Tiger wins these tournaments is because he is so mentally tough. It was something his father instilled him. I know this because Nike told me...

TIGER WOODS IS PRETTY GOOD

Who is this Tiger Woods again? Never heard of him but I think he has a future in the game of golf. Talk about clutch, I believe Tiger now defines the word. It's not often I get the chills when watching sporting events and it sure as hell usually never occurs when watching golf but this putt was simply...awesome! Watch the replay over and over and you can't help but get fired up after seeing Tiger go ballistic after squeezing in the putt on the 18th to send it to a playoff today against Rocco Mediate.

I actually wore red yesterday while playing golf with my Dad on Father's Day and the funny thing is he wore red too. If you don't think Tiger is the most influential and powerful sports athlete out there (yes, Tiger is an athlete) then you simply haven't been paying attention. Everyone wants to be Tiger. Just like everyone wanted to be like Mike.

Unfortunately I shot a 96 yesterday so I have a way to go. But I did have a few pars. (crickets chirping)

THE OLD DUTCH OVEN

You have to love the call, giving the French the old Dutch oven...

Video HT: AwfulAnnouncing