SportsCrack Blog

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

DICK ROD LOSING CONTROL AT MICHIGAN


As if a 3-8 season wasn't rough enough heading into their annual rivalry game against Ohio State, we have now found out that Michigan is losing 3 players due to transfer including the white pinball named star RB Sam McGuffie. If you thought Rich Rodriguez was a good fit in Ann Arbor well then I hope you are not a betting man.

Michigan's first losing season since 1967 is hard for any die hard Wolverines fan to swallow. Their consecutive bowl streak dies at 33. They have already set the dubious record for most losses in a season for their program with 8 and surely a 9th loss awaits against the Buckeyes. And to top it all off Rodriguez had this to say in regards to the fans who are spouting off on the internet message boards about his lack of success to put it mildly...

"It's amazing some of the things that people would say [on a message board] or yell at you of a personal nature," Rodriguez said Monday. "You almost want to tell them, 'Get a life.'

"There's a whole lot bigger problems. Look at the economy.".


Never good to alienate the fan base especially when you are an outsider like Rodriguez is. Rodriguez is a West Virginia guy. He is laid back and his success with the spread offense for the Mountaineers at his alma mater was perfect and he was in the process of building a legacy in Morgantown. The fans loved him. His family loved it there. He could make annual trips to BCS bowl games in the weak Big East conference with his offense. But as soon as he stabbed West Virginia in the back and reneged on his contract which he signed shortly before to leave for Michigan you knew this was all going to end really badly.

West Virginia isn't the same without Rodriguez and Michigan isn't good with him. It's like watching a fat guy try to go to the salad bar. You know he doesn't belong there and he knows it but he will still try to make it work. Rodriguez's donut was being the West Virginia head coach and now he is trying to eat rice cakes at Michigan.

As a genuine fan of which ever team plays against Michigan on Saturday I personally love to see this failed honeymoon. I hope he stays and tries to eat more rice cakes and fruit salads in Ann Arbor. Watching Michigan fail will never get old for me but I must admit part of me wants Michigan to be good again. I want to see them compete with the Ohio State's and Notre Dame's of the world again. It makes the games more interesting. Midwest football is already boring enough. I don't know what people in Michigan would do if they knew their football program turned into something resembling the green and white of the Spartans. Car plants might start closing down. Detroit might become dangerous. Tourism would cease to exist.

Oh well. "To Hell with Michigan!" will now be seen as their state slogan on their beat up Ford trucks. God bless those poor bastards.

Monday, November 17, 2008

OBAMA WANTS A COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYOFF


YES WE CAN!!!! I'm going to go into this more later as I am in a lengthy discussion/argument over it on UHND.com with some jackass who thinks a playoff is not the right answer for college football.

Listen, you may disagree with Obama because you don't like his politics or you may be prejudice towards half black people or intelligent human beings for that matter but please don't ever argue on this blog that a playoff is not the right thing for college football. You will be put in your place real fast.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

MIAMI VS VIRGINIA TECH PREVIEW

Watching ACC football can sometimes be painful to the eyes. Don't get me wrong, it's not nearly as boring as Big Ten football or as wretched as a Dane Cook comedy special. But the ACC produces a ton of NFL players(mostly from Miami and FSU) and yet always has marginal teams which is code for shitty in SEC minds. So tonight we get the once proud ghetto program of the Miami Convicts going against the Vagina Tech Stokies. I'm not going to sugarcoat this matchup... it could be very ugly football but entertaining if you are into sadomasochism like myself. Sort of like watching midget porn. You can't help but watch it even when every logical part of your brain tells you it's just wrong and not as funny as it looks. So yeah, ACC football is like midget porn.

Instead of going into an in-depth mumbo jumbo preview about these two programs and how they stack up against each other I figured I would let a video demonstrate the magnitude of this game tonight on ESPN...

"YEAH, SEE YA!"

MIKE RIBEIRO'S UNBELIEVABLE SHOOTOUT GOAL


The Dallas Stars' Mike Ribeiro pulled the ultimate deke shot on the King's goaltender Erik Ersberg the other night and I thought it deserved some attention from the Sportscrack nation out there. At first I was with the announcers thinking he just accidently fucked up and somehow pulled the goal out of his ass like Andy Dick landing roles in Hollywood. But then watching the slow motion instant replay you realize Ribeiro meant to go through his legs with the deke. Hell of a play and I'm sure Dick would love to be waiting on hands and knees to congratulate him afterwards like a dog. Speaking of dogs I like how Ribiero is barking back at the Kings bench after scoring.

Video Ht: FanIQ

TOP 10 MAJOR LEAGUE FREE AGENTS

Tomorrow marks the opening of the 2009 MLB free agency market. Or as I like to call it the crazy, overpaid, makes no sense bonanza chock full of bull shit rumors and innuendo fueled by Satan (Scott Boras) and the owners and players who play things close to their chest. But you should know I love this time of the season because the baseball season itself can be long and boring at times and if you tend to root for a perennial loser like myself (don't worry, the Orioles are turning it around) you look forward to who you may or may not get to help improve your team or the other teams in your division. Call it the NFL draft if it was dragged out for 3 months or so. Baseball wouldn't have it any other way.

And despite a struggling economy where hundreds of thousands of everyday normal people who go to baseball games are losing their jobs and their homes don't expect the free spending owners to tighten up their wallets. As commissioner Bud Selig reminds anyone who will listen baseball has never brought in more revenue.

Here is my list of the top 10 major league baseball free agents hitting the open market tomorrow with predictions as to where they may land. Feel free to chime in with your thoughts in the comments section...

1. C.C. Sabathia-Good big league starting pitching is always a premium and Sabathia tops the list for free agent pitchers this offseason. Sabathia used a second half stint in Milwaukee after being traded from Cleveland as his own personal playground by dominating the senior circuit and was the main reason why the Brewers reached the playoffs for the first time since 1982. Sabathia will get a huge deal despite the wear and tear on his arm and his belly so don't be surprised if he passes the money Barry Zito got a couple of off seasons ago. Sabathia is a proven #1 ace and will get at least a 9 figure contract from someone willing to dish out the dough for the doughboy.

PREDICTION: The New York Yankees need starting pitching and with guys like Giambi, Mussina, Pettitte, Pavano and others all coming off the payroll and them missing the playoffs for the first time since the mid 90's it creates a perfect storm for Sabathia to accept a contract upwards of $140 million.

2. Mark Teixeira-A middle of their prime superstar first baseman who hits like a Silver Slugger winner and fields like a Gold Glove winner is going to get a lot of attention. Teixeira is 29 years old and is the perfect cleanup hitter for any major league team. He also is a switch hitter with power from both sides and is a smart hitter who gets on base over 40% of the time while stroking a ton of extra base hits. He made Chipper Jones and Vladimir Guerrero better players in my opinion during his short stints with the Braves and Angels. He is a Severna Park, MD native like myself and grew up an Orioles fan along with his family. The whole state of Maryland wants Teixeira back at his home and playing for the O's while hitting between young phenoms like Nick Markakis, Adam Jones, and Matt Wieters.

PREDICTION: The Baltimore Orioles and Peter Angelos will open up their checkbook and do whatever it takes to bring Tex home. The O's need starting pitching and a shortstop too but bringing in Tex would be a huge boost to ticket sales and draw back interest for the fallen franchise. I think he will get at least a $150 million contract.

3. Manny Ramirez-ManRam was a beast for the Dodgers last season and like Sabathia helped push his team into the playoffs. Ramirez is probably the second best right handed hitter in the game right now behind Pujols and has been a RBI machine where ever he has played. His personality or laziness as I would call it can be very annoying to some but in Southern California it can be tolerated by the fans unlike the East Coast teams. His age is up there(he will be 37 next season) and his fielding is terrible at times but Manny is like a fine wine and I really can't think of another hitter I would want up over him with runners in scoring position.

PREDICTION: The Los Angeles Dodgers will pay a lot to secure Manny's return to LA. He is too valuable for their team and I think he is the perfect fit in that lineup surrounded by all the young guys. The Dodgers will cave and give him 4 years at $100 million thanks to Scott Boras.

4. Francisco Rodriguez-K Rod set a major league record last year with 62 saves for the Angels and should get a ridiculous contract from somebody not named the Angels. It seems that owner Artie Moreno is fine with letting Rodriguez leave because they tried to renogiatiate 3 times last year and still failed to resign him. Closers are a dime a dozen in my book and there is always some young hot shot ready to be one so I don't think giving a closer Mariano Rivera type money is prudent. My guess is some team will be stupid enough to overpay him and he will fizzle away within 3 years. I say this because honestly he wasn't very impressive late last season despite setting the save record.

PREDICTION: He has New York Mets written all over him. Other teams like the Rangers and perhaps the Cubs will enter the picture but I think the Mets will offer him the most money and win out..or lose out depending on how you view this signing.

5. A. J. Burnett-I've seen Burnett pitch many of times for the Blue Jays and the Marlins and have always come away impressed but when you look at his career stats they don't spit out the notion of top of the rotation money he will get this offseason. But as you know even good not great starting pitching is hard to find and Burnett should use a career year in Toronto last season and get a huge contract. His family lives in Maryland and he supposedly wants to be near them which would mean the Nationals, Orioles, and Phillies would be the most logical destinations for his services.

PREDICTION: The Baltimore Orioles need starting pitching in the worst way. Besides Jeremy Guthrie they have a bunch of unproven young starters and one who will never become proven because he is a head case(Daniel Cabrera). Despite the Orioles finishing last in the division they are a few players away from being serious contenders just like the Rays were this past season. They need starting pitching to get there and signing Burnett might not be the wisest decision the franchise can make but they really can't afford to alienate a loyal fanbase that begs for a winner.

6. Derek Lowe-Again good starting pitching is hard to find and Derek Lowe is one of the most consistent starters in the game. He is getting up there in age(36) but he isn't an overpowering pitcher who relies on heat to get hitters out. He never really lived up to the contract the Dodgers gave him coming out of Boston so don't expect him to resign but I could see a team who didn't make the playoffs last season willing to overpay for his services because they think they are one starter away from being a playoff contender.

PREDICTION: A lot of people have him pencilled in for the Yankees starting rotation but I'm not one of them. I think the Detroit Tigers are going to come out and offer him a generous contract and give him a chance to come back closer to home and he will accept the deal as long as it is competitive to what the Yankees and Mets offer him.

7. Ben Sheets-If he didn't have so many damn injuries we might be talking about the best starting pitcher in the game right here. Personally I'm a huge fan of Sheets. His stuff is awesome and when he is healthy he is one of the toughest pitchers in the game. With the right franchise he could win 18 plus games. I might be letting my bias towards him jade my view but I think who ever signs him will be getting a bargain despite the elbow problem.

PREDICTION: The Houston Astros seems like the most logical but don't be surprised if the Atlanta Braves make a run at it even if they land Peavy. His health issues will limit the contract offer to 2-3 years max.

8. Ryan Dempster-Dempster had a career year last season with the Cubs and appears to be ready to hit the open market with a huge check waiting for him. The only problem is he wants to stay in Chicago and the Cubs appear to want him back.

PREDICTION: The Chicago Cubs resign him to a 3-4 year contract worth over $50 million.

9. Orlando Hudson-A gold glove winner at 2b, Hudson has always been an underrated player in my book. I guess because he plays second base and doesn't steal any bases is why people tend to overlook him. He gets the job done at the plate though and gets on base and his career numbers indicate he gets better every season. He is currently in his prime and should get a good offer.

PREDICTION: The St. Louis Cardinals need a second baseman and Hudson would be the perfect fit in their lineup.

10. Adam Dunn-He is a cleanup hitter who has hit at least 40 homeruns a season the last 5 years. He of course strikes out a ton and plays horrible defense in left field but his on base percentage is around 40% every season. I'm not an Adam Dunn fan but I can see why some people and/or clubs like him because of his power and his ability to get on base.

PREDICTION: The Washington Nationals needs a cleanup hitter bad and someone to boo for the next 5 years. Dunn makes sense in the Capitol.

Is there anybody I left off the list that I shouldn't have? Well then let me know by voicing your opinion on the comments section.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

SHE GOT CHILLS WHEN THE COLORED ONE SPOKE

I give you this glorious video of further proof that Lindsay Lohan is a dumb Hollywood slut. Sorry, working actress as they preferred to be called. She proves to the world her ability to sound as dumb as she looks while talking to some attractive girl named Maria Menopausal...


Lindsay is such an inspiration for all the young girls out there who want to do coke, blow guys, then decide they would rather do chicks for a while and talk about how inspired she was when the "colored" one was voted as our President.



Video HT: WWTDD

BALTIMORE REPRESENTING THE ROAD JERSEYS


The Baltimore Orioles today reveiled their new road jerseys with the actual "Baltimore" script on the front. This is significant because they haven't had "Baltimore" on the front of their jerseys since the early 1970's. They dumped "Baltimore" in favor of "Orioles" when the Washington Senators moved so they could represent more of the region of Maryland and Virginia/DC. But now that the Washington Nationals exist(loose term for they suck) we now get to see a star player like Nick Markakis wear the new Baltimore jersey.

I like it and I think I will buy one this weekend when I visit for the Notre Dame/Navy debacle at Raven's Stadium. Hopefully the Orioles will open up their checkbooks this offseason and sign some free agents starting tomorrow. The big catch of course would be lifelong Orioles fan and Severna Park native Mark Teixeria. He would look great in an O's jersey batting between Markakis and future star Matt Wieters. Just throwing that out there for owner Peter Angelos. Get it done in other words.

And if you noticed in the picture above there is no Gold Glove next to Markakis. It's a crying shame because Nick led all outfielders in assists and makes Gold Glove plays consistently in right field but the voters love to give the award to just center fielders typically. These are the same jackoffs who didn't award Cal Ripken a Gold Glove the year he only committed 3 fucking errors the whole season at shortstop, a Major League record. Instead they awarded it to that tool Ozzie Guillen. I still despise Guillen for it.

TALK ABOUT A LATE HIT


This ridiculously late hit on the quarterback comes courtesy of Houston's defensive end Phillip Hunt this past Saturday against Tulane. Obviously the hit was intentional in every way although Hunt claims he never heard the whistle. Hunt can use the O.J. defense all he wants but we all know he hit Tulane's QB Joe Kemp long after everybody stopped playing. Not only was the hit malicious but it broke Kemp's collarbone and he now needs a plate inserted to stabilize the two fractures.

Of course somehow the Conference USA officiating crew didn't eject Hunt for the late hit and all he got was a 15 personal foul penalty. And now Conference USA officials are indicating no further discipline needs to be brought against Hunt for the malicious hit. When did college football turn into gladiators? Hopefully shit like this doesn't start popping up everywhere now when defensive players know they can get away with late hits and claim they didn't hear the whistle blown. The NCAA needs to insert a Phillip Hunt rule which would prevent QB's and other players from getting their head knocked off for late hits.

Video HT: FanIQ

WHERE IS NOTRE DAME HEADED?

Via TiricoSuave.com comes this hilarious, and yes I will admit it despite being a Notre Dame homer myself, video of Charlie Weis addressing where his team is headed...


And just to be clear with myself and the few drunk readers out there who actually pay attention to this blog...I think any blog that pays tribute to Mike Tirico is either a
A)closet pedophile
B)open pedophile or
C)prefers bestiality to actual women.

More than likely all of the above.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

GREAT CHRISTMAS GIFT-BRADY QUINN AUTOGRAPHED NOTRE DAME FOOTBALL



I just got a couple of these autographed Brady Quinn Notre Dame Wilson Balls. These are the authentic official balls that they use on Gamedays under the watchful eye of Touchdown Jesus. I am selling them for the ridiculously low price of $200. Remember, these balls alone retail for as much as $199 without any signatures on it and now you can get it with Brady Quinn's autograph on it. With Brady's signature on it they sell for as much as $388.

You will not find a lower price for an authentic autographed Brady Quinn Wilson AFCA 1001 NCAA college game ball. It comes with a certificate of authenticity from CG Authentics.

These make a great gift for any Notre Dame or Cleveland Browns fan for Christmas.

Hurry quickly though because I only have a couple and they will sell fast.

EBAY AUCTIONS ENDING SOON, SHIRTS AT $1

http://shop.ebay.com/merchant/mojoerizen91f1

Click on the link above to get some great deals on Sportscrack Tees starting at under a $1. We got Crank Me Up shirts, Phucking Phantastic 2008 World Champs shirts, Knowshon for Heismon, Chase for Heismon, FUSC, Brady Lady, Brady for Heismon, and many more all starting at just under a $1.

Hurry though because the sale ends soon.

Again the link is at....
http://shop.ebay.com/merchant/mojoerizen91f1

MY HEISMAN TROPHY CANDIDATES TOP 5


We are only a month away from awarding the 74th Heisman Trophy to the "most outstanding college football player" which is usually loose terms for the best player(offensive) with the most hype on the best team at the end of the season. Colt McCoy looked to be the runaway winner a few weeks ago until they got beaten by Texas Tech in Lubbock behind masterful performances from both Graham Harrell and Michael Crabtree. Since then the order has been shaken up and knocked around quicker than a Larry Johnson whore target in a bar. So with that being said here is my top 5 candidates going into this weekend's games and what they need to do in order to secure a trip at the very least to New York City for the Heisman banquet dinner.

1. Graham Harrell-Harrell has thrown for 13 touchdowns and 0 interceptions while completing almost 80% of his passes the last three weeks in wins over Kansas, Texas, and Oklahoma State. He has the Red Raiders on the brink of being #1 in two weeks if they can beat Oklahoma in Norman. Some can argue he is a product of Mike Leach's system in Lubbock and I would agree with it to a point but you can't argue his ability to come up huge in big games and big moments this year. If he beats Oklahoma and keeps putting up his typical numbers then he will win the award in my opinion. He is currently on pace to throw for 43 TD's and only 6 INT's while completing over 71% of his passes.

2. Michael Crabtree-Harrell might be my #1 Heisman contender right now but I think Crabtree is the best player on his team. I don't have a doubt in my mind that Crabs is the best wide receiver in the country as he was last year and he continues to come up big for the Red Raiders. Harrell grabs the spotlight because he is the quarterback but Crabtree will be the better pro by far and might be the best college receiver since Larry Fitzgerald(whom I thought should have won the Heisman over Jason White). Crabtree is on pace to match last year's touchdown record of 22 TD catches but his receiving yardage will be cut by more than 25% because of defenses double teaming him. He deserves a trip to New York City because he is the best wide receiver in the country.

3. Colt McCoy-The Real McCoy's numbers are staggering. He is completing 78% of his passes. He runs(7 rushing TD's)with the best of the college QB's including Tim Tebow. He is one play away(dropped INT by his safety) from being the clear cut #1 guy right now on what would have been the clear cut #1 team. But fate wasn't on his side or the Longhorns when Gideon let the game winner slip between his fingers. The good news for him and Texas are both could be back to #1 if a couple of things happen between now and his eventual trip to NYC. Texas Tech needs to lose to Oklahoma next Saturday and Alabama needs to lose to Florida in the SEC Championship and then Colt McCoy and Texas are back on top of the college football world.

4. Shonn Greene-Greene is the guy who receives the least attention because...well, he plays in Iowa. But after last week's performance against previously undefeated Penn State he deserves some recognition as the best back in the nation. Greene has run for over a 100 yards in each game this season along with scoring a touchdown in every game with the exception of the Michigan State contest (ran for 157). He is not a real flashy back like a Knowshon Moreno but he gets yards on an offense that features him and against a defense that keys into him every single game. This is a big IF but if only Iowa could have won the 4 games they lost(all by 5 points or less) then the Hawkeyes would be undefeated and everybody in the nation would be talking about Greene as the Heisman frontrunner. In order to secure a trip to NYC he needs to finish strong against Purdue and Minnesota along with leading the Hawkeyes to victories.

5. Sam Bradford-Plain and simple for Bradford to secure a trip to NYC for the Heisman ceremony: BEAT TEXAS TECH. Bradford is putting up Jason White type numbers this year and is on pace to throw for 46 TD's with only 7 INT's. But if he doesn't beat Texas Tech in Norman he will go down as only the third best quarterback in the Big 12 South division. If he beats Texas Tech and Oklahoma State the next two games then the Sooners could slide into the Big 12 Championship game over Texas and right away it would vault him up to the top into Heisman voter's minds.

Just missed the cut: Tim Tebow, Chase Daniel, Knowshon Moreno, Javon Ringer, Kendall Hunter, Jeremy Maclin


Feel free to put down the beer bong and/or Sebastian Janikowski roofie and give me your opinions on the Heisman candidates and who you think should win or whom I should consider if I left somebody off the list.

NEW SHAMPOO

It's good to see they have come out with a shampoo specifically for guys like me who are short and curly. Don't be surprised if your favorite team or athlete is now using this in their shower stalls...

Monday, November 10, 2008

2008 NOTRE DAME: RETURN TO MEDIOCRITY


In the wake of the humiliating 17-0 defeat at the hands of Boston College on Saturday night lies a Notre Dame football program with so much promise but little performance. Despite Notre Dame playing an incredibly weak schedule and returning over 80% of their starters from a disastrous 2007 campaign the Fighting Irish now sit at 5-4 with a best case scenario of finishing 7-5. They are not going to beat USC again and they have a good chance of losing to Navy this week...again. As much as it pains me to write that last sentence it's the truth. Notre Dame football has become average at best.

Charlie Weis is now 1-15 in his last 16 games against teams with winning records. Supporters of Charlie, whom I admit was one of the blue and gold blinders leading the bandwagon, wanted to say two of the reasons they lose or underperform on Saturdays are because of inexperience and youth. These are great excuses when they were facts last season but this year is different. The Fighting Irish have plenty of players with tons of gameday experience now so it's no longer a valid argument. Players like Jimmy Clausen, Armando Allen, Robert Hughes, James Aldridge, Duval Kamara, Golden Tate, and the whole offensive line got tons of actual playing time the past two seasons to qualify as seasoned veterans. And pretty much every defensive starter played last season significant minutes so why do they lose to teams like Boston College, North Carolina, Pitt, and Michigan State when one can make the argument they are less talented and sit in the same boat with maybe more inexperienced players playing?

Watching this team slowly go down the shitter has been painful needless to say. I see a ton of talent in players like Michael Floyd, Golden Tate, Kyle Rudolph, Jimmy Clausen, David Bruton, Kyle McCarthy, Brian Smith, Raeshon McNeil, and numerous others but I continue to see a team that totally shits the bed on Saturdays. There are no more excuses to struggle to squeeze out a close home win over a horrible San Diego State team. There are no more excuses to blow leads against Stanford, North Carolina, and Pitt which cost you victories in two of those games. Excuses are like assholes and everyone has one including Charlie's enormous one.

Before the Boston College game I stated that this particular game would be the defining moment in Charlie Weis career at Notre Dame. Win and they have a good shot of going 8-4 into a decent bowl game(which hasn't been won in 15 years) and the recruiting will continue to go beyond my wildest expectations into a 2009 season with a lot of promise. Lose and they will continue to have little confidence in themselves to beat teams with winning records and the magical dream seasons of 2009 and 2010 I predicted would be just that...a dream. And lo and behond what unfolded on Saturday night in Chestnut Hill was an embarrassing and disgusting performance. They got shutout by a team that was allowing nearly 30 points per game in their previous 4 games. They didn't fight. They had defeat in their eyes as soon as Charlie limped out on the field. Charlie promised a "NASTY" team but what he has brought is too many nasty performances on the field. His most significant and memorable game at Notre Dame was a fucking lost to USC in 2005. They lost and yet it gave most Notre Dame fans hope they would compete with a big time program and rival like USC in the future years. They haven't come close.

So where do we go from here? If Notre Dame loses on Saturday to the Naval Academy they HAVE TO FIRE Charlie Weis at the end of the season. You can not lose consecutive games to Navy especially after last season when Charlie personally blew the game at home by not attempting the game winning field goal. Navy is undersized and undermanned in talent but you know they will fight to the end which can not be said about this 2008 Notre Dame squad. I hate having to bring in a new coach because in most times it is starting a rebuilding process that could take years. But this isn't the case for Notre Dame. Who ever coaches in 2009 and beyond will have a program loaded with 5 and 4 star players that Charlie Weis and his staff recruited. The coaching staff has done an excellent job of recruiting and for this they should be granted a pat on the back. But the performances, or lack thereof on Saturdays in the Fall by the football team, deserve a swift kick in the ass. There is no fire in this team because the coaching staff isn't holding players accountable for their actions.

Granted this season isn't nearly as painful as 2007 was but it's starting to approach that level for me. If Charlie Weis and his staff don't finish the season with wins over Navy and Syracuse and at least a respectable showing against USC then I think Charlie owes it to himself and all Notre Dame alumni and fans by walking away. If he really loves Notre Dame as much as I think he does he will do the right thing and hand the keys to somebody who can get the most out of this team. He has stated he will take over play calling duties this week over offensive coordinator Mike Haywood to help the offense score more points this week against Navy. Which means as long as they score then he is a genius right? Okay, sarcasm aside It's pretty simple, you go five wide and let Michael Floyd and Golden Tate run past Navy defenders while running a two minute offense like Texas Tech does because Jimmy Clausen is most comfortable in it. But the skeptic in me thinks we will come out with two deep in the backfield and try to pound the ball with our weak running game.

As my buddy Jeff always says, "Beer is great!" whenever I text him my frustrations about the Notre Dame program. It might be the perfect tonic in Baltimore on Saturday for me if the Irish play like they did in Chestnut Hill.

God have mercy on Notre Dame and especially my weak liver and sanity. Go Irish! Beat Navy!

Friday, November 07, 2008

SHAQ DOWN THE THUNDER

Notre Dame landed one of the nation's best high school receivers today when 4 star prospect Shaquelle Evans out of California picked Notre Dame over USC. Shaq Evans is an explosive receiver who will join the already talented Notre Dame receiver's core of Golden Tate and Michael Floyd next year and should get immediate playing time. Especially if he plays the college game as well as he dominates the high school game...

Now if only Notre Dame could get some defensive linemen and linebackers they might actually have a front 7 who puts some pressure on the quarterback. With three months left till signing day look for Charlie Weis and the staff to put a full effort into landing defensive stars like Chris Bonds, Mante Te'O and Jelani Jenkins. The offensive class is now completely stacked with Evans on board but they need the defensive studs to make the whole class elite from top to bottom.


Video HT: UHND

WITH BECKS OVERSEAS NOW, VICTORIA WILL NEED YOUR ATTENTION


Don Chavez has the spanktacular pictures of Victoria Beckham showing off her store boughts for some advertisement that is not nearly as annoying as Toyota's current one. It actually kind of perks me up. I could use a warm glass of saline milk right now.

ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF A CLEAN BALLPLAYER


Look at that fucking grin on Jayson Werth. He is high as a kite brotha. My buddy Tobin sent me the picture of Werth among many others of last week's Phillies celebration parade and I couldn't help but laugh at the one above. I've never heard Werth speak a word but I would imagine it would sound a lot like this...


Just a reminder people that I got a brand new batch of fresh cooked "Phucking Phantastic 2008 World Champs" shirts in for you to consume and devour...

THOSE AT&T COMMERCIALS ARE GETTING CRYPTIC


I actually could deal with a commercial like this on television. It's those annoying Toyota commercials lately that have me going absolutely crazy. You know the ones with the O% down BS and the want to rip your ear drums out tune they play to it. And they play it all the time during football games. I've never owned a Toyota (Dodge man myself) and I can honestly say I never will even think about buying one after seeing those commercials played during every single break in the action. Now if you want to throw some eye candy in there Toyota, say a Jessica Biel or a Heidi Klum, then we can start talking. But until you do your as dead as the pitchman for AT&T. Capiche?

This Week's College Football Pick 'em

Okay folks, I know! I really screwed up my picks last week. Hell, Matt and I both did. I really thought Georgia would show up in Jacksonville, but I guess they didn't get the memo. I also put too much faith in Texas, and even though I picked them to win, it was great to see Texas Tech come out on top. Did you guys see the new shirts?
TEXAS TECH
Oh, I'm also sorry I even tried to throw in a UConn game to the mix. I guess they are overrated, and I got a little excited.
Let's crack open a cold one and forget last week. Cheers to another exciting Saturday!

Cheese Whistle's 11 Picks:

#1 Alabama @ #16 LSU: Although LSU has rolled over the Tide the past 5 match-ups, expect Alabama to win the "Saban Bowl."

#6 Oklahoma @ Texas A&M: My gut is going with Oklahoma tearing up all that agriculture.

Baylor @ #4 Texas: The Longhorns will be looking to take out their frustration on poor Baylor this weekend.

#11 Ohio State @ #24 Northwestern: I think this game will be a battle to the end. I picture purple fans to bum-rush the field at the end of this one.

#9 Oklahoma State @ #2 Texas Tech: This game is going to be awesome! I had a hard time choosing sides on this one, but Texas Tech is looking too good right now.

#5 Florida @ Vandy: In an SEC battle, I believe Florida will continue to steam roll their opponents.

#21 California @ #7 USC: I really wanted to pick California on this on, but with two losses as compared to USC's one loss, I had to go with the Condoms.

#13 Georgia @ Kentucky: Georgia is going to come out pissed off after last week's debacle. Ugh. I can't get that nightmare out of my head.

#20 Georgia Tech @ #19 North Carolina: This is going to be another great Saturday game. Georgia Tech will just squeak by NC.

Utah State @ #10 Boise State: The Broncos are 8-0 this year, and I assume they will smash Utah State. I was driving through Boise early this Summer, but a big sand storm blanketed the sky, so I couldn't see any mountains or the town. I'm still bummed about that.

On a side note, I'm putting my money on the Undefeated Fighting Dave Letterman's this week. Go Ball State!


Matt Fairchild's picks:

#1 Alabama @ #16 LSU: As much I want to see LSU pull the upset here I think Bama will be too tough especially with mac truck Cody back to clog up the middle.

#6 Oklahoma @ Texas A&M: Faggies don't have a prayer. Sam Bradford will put up some Heisman like numbers in this game and score some serious Sooner poon like this...

Image courtesy of MacG's trip to Norman

Baylor @ #4 Texas: Texas still has a shot at the National Championship and will come out and show Baylor who the Real McCoy is.

#11 Ohio State @ #24 Northwestern: Northwestern and Ohio State can both suck my balls. God, I hate watching Big Ten football. It's like watching two fat people fuck. Nobody wins.

#9 Oklahoma State @ #2 Texas Tech: I'm going upset special right here. This game is going to be fucking awesome. I just think the Red Raiders are in for a let down game after the huge win over Texas last week.

#5 Florida @ Vandy: The Gaytors will have won this game as soon as the first whistle is blown. I got this sinking feeling we are going to see Urban in the BCS Championship.

#21 California @ #7 USC: I got to take FUSC on this one. Those fucking tree hugging hippies up in Berkeley could use some Trojans in my opinion.

#13 Georgia @ Kentucky: The Dawgs looked like garbage last week and will look to take their frustrations out on Kensucky.

#20 Georgia Tech @ #19 North Carolina: I will be rooting for the We love our Johnson's but I think the Tarholes will win by creating turnovers. Plus Tech's QB Nesbitt is more roughed up then a Pete Carroll hooker.

Utah State @ #10 Boise State: Nobody beats Boise State on their Smurf turf. And I mean nobody lays a hand on Smurfette except me.

And here is my Notre Dame pick of the week:
Listen, Notre Dame shit the bed last week against Pitt. They should have fucking killed the Stache but they got conservative and blew the game in the second half with an eventual loss in 4 OT's. This week they get to redeem themselves up in Chestnut Hill with Backup College the opponent. This will be the defining game of Charlie Weis' career at Notre Dame. They have too much talent to lose to BC. If they lose the season is a lost cause in my opinion. They should have beat the Tarholes and Shitzburgh and for sure should win this game. If they lose this game then Weis as a head coach is as good as dead to me like Davie and Willingham. No more youth excuses or lack of depth BS. They should be able to manhandle an average BC team with no Matt Ryan.
Notre Dame 33
Backup College 20

Thursday, November 06, 2008

REAL MAN BEER. REAL. MAN. MEN.