That a way to use your head out there Martinez...
Last I heard Martinez will be okay. The ball hit so hard off his noggin it ricocheted into the stands. Pretty heads up if you ask me.
Video HT: Joe
"DAD, What's a double dicker?"...is that the main character from Kids? You know, the one with the messed up New York accent who always wanted to hit up the virgins. Kids was so disturbing I can still never go back to New York without thinking of those characters. I'm going to take a hot bath in vinegar and tears right now.
Horrible news out of Anaheim this morning as it was learned that Anaheim Angels rookie pitcher Nick Adenhart was killed in a hit-and-run accident shortly after pitching the best game of his young major league career. Just 22 years old and making his 4th big league start, Adenhart pitched 6 scoreless innings last night while striking out 5 against the Oakland A's. Adenhart was a highly regarded prospect out of Silver Springs, MD who was expected to fortify an Angels rotation this year with injuries to 3 of their starters including John Lackey, Kelvin Escobar, and Ervin Santana.
I've followed Adenhart's career pretty closely since he was drafted. As a Maryland boy I was hoping somehow he could be traded to his hometown Orioles this past offseason. It sucks to see someone so young be taken so quickly. It appears his father got a chance to maybe say goodbye to his son according to the Baltimore Sun...
"His father flew out here from Baltimore to watch him start last night, so his father is here, obviously going through a great deal of grief," Angels spokesman Tim Mead said at the stadium.
This shitty video footage is from Tuesday at the Masters with Vijay Singh skipping a shot over the water and getting a hole-in-one. Tiger laughed when told about the shot and simply walked over water. He placed the ball into the hole when all of a sudden the clouds parted and the songs of angels and sunlight came down from the skies showing that Tiger is the true God of Golf.
Is there really any doubt Tiger will win this tournament? It appears Vegas thinks Tiger is pretty much a cinch to win his 5th green jacket. Here are the odds for the top 10 guys...
Tiger Woods 4/11
Phil Mickelson 7/5
Padraig Harrington 11/4
Geoff Ogilvy 3/1
Retief Goosen 4/1
Sergio Garcia 9/2
Paul Casey 9/2
Ernie Els 5/1
Rory McIlroy 5/1
Anthony Kim 11/2
This was in Vancouver last night at Britney's Circus Tour. Apparently she walked off stage at one point in the show because she smelled weed. In Canada the weed laws are not enforced with such brute force as they are here in the States. Law enforcement accepts for what it is...a way to get high and why are you not passing it over here. Puff puff give mofo. So anywho Britney spouts off these words of wisdom to all her Canadian fans, this coming from a girl who shaved her head and shows off her box at the drop of a dime...
"Thank you Vancouver. Drive safe, don't smoke weed and rock out with your cock out. Peace out mother fuckers!"
If Koji Uehara hits T-Bag Teixeira in the neck he will instantly become a cult hero in Baltimore. By next week they will have a bronze statue with his goofy smile right next to the Babe statue. I'm just saying....Go Koji! Go O's! FU T-Bag!
Time to call up Tommy Hanson. The Braves bullpen simply can't throw strikes. They walked in four guys in one inning while also hitting another batter, blowing a 7 run lead in the 7th inning. This loss hurts big time for the Braves. And yes, I am available to throw strikes over the plate Frank Wren. Just wanna throw that out there.
Jessica Biel would like to get something off her chest. Everything in fact. The scene is from her new movie called Powder Blue where she plays a stripper. One can only hope she has a Halle Berry type Monster's Ball scene to help her win that elusive Oscar.
Video HT: Barstool Sports
Here is a Biel practice video for "research" purposes...
Only 2 games into the season and there are already riots among Phillies fan over their play. Come on guys, there are still 160 games left to catch up with the Atlanta Braves. Go spread some Whiz over your vaginas and buck up. Remember who won the championship last year...
Yeah, I know it's only two games into the season but you have to admit the Atlanta Braves look really good so far. Their starting pitching has completely dominated the defending champion Phillies lineup with Derek Lowe and Jair Jurrjens both throwing gems. With the 2-0 record against the Phillies it already matches their win total against them last season after 16 games against their rival. The team this year appears to be completely different and I should give Frank Wren some props.
During the offseason I pretty much criticized Wren's every move early on. I hated the fact that they were going hard for AJ Burnett and throwing out a ridiculous contract offer to a guy who has had one healthy season. Luckily the Yankees "stole" him away from the Braves and gave him a Carl Pavano/Mike Hampton deal that will surely blow up in their pinstripe faces. I got mad when it sounded like they were going to give up Yunel Escobar, Kelly Johnson, and most notably hot shot prospect Tommy Hanson(autograph baseball available here) for Jake Peavy. Luckily those rumors never came true and the Braves still have their middle infield along with Hanson who is going to be best Braves power pitcher since John Smoltz in my opinion. Wren has moved on to trade for starter Javier Vasquez (a deal that is still up in the air with me), signed Derek Lowe (overpaid but needed to be done), signed Kenshin Kawakami and he let John Smoltz go. I have gotten over the Smoltz leaving Atlanta issue. I don't blame Wren for it. The Braves were put in a bad position where they honestly couldn't win in the PR department with a guy who won't be ready till midseason at best. The point is Wren addressed the starting rotation in the offseason and it now appears if all of them can stay healthy the Braves can compete with anybody in the National League.
The Garrett Anderson signing appears to be paying off after Griffey decided to go back to Seattle. I can't blame Junior for wanting to prove something in Seattle but it would have been great to see him in a Braves uniform. Either way Wren had a backup plan and Anderson appears to fit in well. They resigned Chipper Jones so he can remain a lifelong Bravo and brought up a young centerfielder by the name of Jordan Schafer who reminds me a lot of Grady Sizemore. The future looks extremely bright through these Tomahawk glasses.
What really has me excited is seeing guys like Schafer perform early on and knowing Brian McCann and Jeff Francoeur are both still young guys under the age of 25. Hot shot prospects Jason Heyward and Freddie Freeman are both future middle of the order sluggers who should remind Braves fans of the David Justice and Fred McGriff combo. The Braves could have a murderous row of hitters for the next 8-10 years if all these guys pan out to their enormous hype.
So I need to eat my words so to speak on Wren. He has done a good job assembling a team that is ready to compete in 2009. What more can you ask for? A World Series banner would be nice.
With baseball season underway we figured it was a good time to reveal our brand new RELIEF PITCHER shirt. At the cheap price of $15 you too can get this one of a kind Sportscrack Tee. So go ahead and belly up to the bar or go hang with your buds at the tailgate this summer with this vintage look and feel "Relief Pitcher" shirt. Available exclusively at Sportscrack Tees.
It seems like everything is right in the world when you see Ken Griffey Jr. swing effortlessly in a Seattle Mariners uniform and take one deep. His 8th Opening Day long ball ties him with Hall of Famer Frank Robinson for the all-time lead. It was also his 612th career home run and his 399th in a Mariners uniform. Junior looks a little chubbier than his climbing the wall days in the 90's but "The Kid" can still hit with the best of them.
I wonder if Junior is the best player of my generation? I always thought he was a better player than Barry Bonds even when Bonds was juicing. Griffey just had something magical about him. He played the game hard and seemed to come up big all the time in clutch situations.
Baseball's best pitcher put on a performance yesterday before even taking the mound. Johan Santana put on an eclectic mix of hand shakes and high fives with his Met's teammates yesterday before taking the field and putting in a solid 6 innings against the Reds. After seeing this I'm not sure what is more impressive. Santana's changeup or hand shakes? You be the judge...
North Carolina proved to the nation last night that they were the best team in basketball this year by completely destroying Michigan State in front of a record 70,000 bored spectators in Detroit. The Tarheels capture their 5th National Title and bring yet another championship back to the ACC. As much hoopla as the Big East received this year from the media and it's fans it was kind of ironic that they didn't even get a team in the championship game. Hmmm, makes you wonder if the Big East will ever match up with the ACC in terms of dominance. Here is your one shining moment in a rather uninteresting tournament...
Now we can move on and talk about what's really important. Baseball, football, and boobs. Lots of boobs.
This is probably a completely bias opinion but I don't see how the Michigan State Spartans are going to hang with North Carolina tonight. Carolina athletically and depth wise are light years ahead of the Izzos. While it's true the Spartans will have home court advantage in Detroit which should work in their favor in the first half I just don't see them stopping Ty Lawson. Tyler Hansbrough will finally leave the spotlight as this is his final game in Carolina blue and more than likely his final staring role in the hoops game. His NBA future looks about as bright as Amy Winehouse chances in rehab.
But acid flashback eyes Hansbrough will have a memorable game as he gets his points by throwing up his patented ugly jump/hook/spike shot into the hole for at least 20.
PREDICTION: NORTH CAROLINA 83 MICHIGAN STATE 70
Mark Teixeira, affectionately known as dickhead fuckwad, from my hometown of Severna Park, MD spoke with reporters today before taking the field at Camden Yards. Get a load of this priceless quote he delivered to Orioles beat reporter Rock Kubatko...
"In a perfect world, the Orioles would have won the World Series every year that I was alive and I'd be an Oriole right now," he said. "I have so much love for this city, for this organization, but in the business world and in the baseball world, sometimes you have to make difficult decisions. And when it came down to it, the Yankees were a better fit for me."
of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh Shirt...
Has there ever been a better title for a movie than this one? Schindler's Fist perhaps?
It's called "You're Fucking Out, I'm Fucking In!"...and it's a work of miracles and dreams come true...
"They named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina!"
