Cocaine is a hell of a drug. It can cause the stimulation of the central nervous system to which affects the brain's processing of dopamine, a brain chemical associated with pleasure and movement. There has been nothing pleasurable in regards to Da U the past decade. Even with Michael Irvin delivering coke-raged speeches to scared shitless teenagers whom have little idea how to win. It isn't going to change the fact that Miami football sucks right now. New head coach Al Golden could get the team turned around. But it's going to take a lot of booger sugar.
If you watched the Spring Game you saw the unveiling of "The Beast" as he completely dominated the line of scrimmage. The true freshman is looking to make an early impact this fall and will no doubt go "Beast." In honor of college football's best incoming freshman we decided to make a shirt and get this...call it "The Beast."
We are taking preorders now with shirts shipping on April 27th 2011. Order yours today! We got a limited number of shirts and once they are sold out they are gone for good. As always a portion of all SportsCrack.com t-shirts sales goes to the American Cancer Society.
ESPN'S Jon Gruden has a feeling about Washington's Jake Locker. He never tells you what the feeling is because he is trying to be nice to the kid. Let's be honest here. Locker was an average college quarterback. He never took that step forward that so many experts projected after his freshman season. But the crazy thing is despite his shaky at best accuracy and his questionable decision making at a position where one play can lose you a game the fact that Locker has good measurables in arm strength, speed, and size he could be a 1st round draft pick.
I don't claim to be an expert when it comes to scouting quarterbacks. But I know when I see a special player. And Locker isn't that guy. BOOM!
The red hot Cardinals have a new good luck charm and it's not Albert Pujols' bat. Manager Tony La Russa has got one of the worst cases of pink eye I have ever seen. It's like he got shitfaced and decided to fall down the stairs...again. He says pinkeye but I say one too many glasses of Merlot.
"I'm not in a lot of pain," said La Russa yesterday. "It just scares kids. Like bad makeup in a horror movie."
You may have seen Cam Newton in New York City recently with the NFL Draft just a week away. Apparently Cam was lucky enough to catch CashCab. Some guys just have all the luck.
Thank you Buck Showalter. Thank you. The Baltimore Orioles manager mouthed "what the fuck" last night when some Glee club completely butchered the National Anthem in Camden Yards. Words can not describe how much I hate it when singers try to mess with the song and make it their "own."
This happened in a Tupelo, MS high school baseball game a couple of days ago and I know I'm a little late to the punch here but fucking shit I want this kid on my baseball team. I don't even think the great Ichiro could pull something like that off.
Be safe out there and please, for the love of God, don't take what this poor schmuck took. Those were the good old days when your dogs would turn into panthers and goats would talk to you. You don't need it anymore. You got debt and a mortgage to pay. Joy.
Tauntr.com has the most excellent American Rag ad endorsed by Cincinnati Red's pitcher Mike Leake. As you may have heard Leake got caught shoplifting 6 American Rag shirts worth a total of $60 yesterday. Yep. A guy who makes $450k a year is stealing fucking $10 shirts. What an asshole!
I know the Reds probably know what they are doing but how in the holy fuck is Aroldis Chapman a middle reliever when he hits 106 on the gun? And people wonder why Dusty Baker doesn't have a World Series ring yet. Yeah, you heard right. 1...0...6!!!! He threw it to Andrew McCutchen last night and I don't even think God saw it. I would post a video of it but since MLB doesn't want to promote their sport I will just direct you to their site.
I smell summer blockbuster. Fuck Captain America and The Hangover 2. Monopoly will send those bitches straight to jail. Monopoly is going to straight up crush the box office this summer. I'm pretty much positive Christopher Nolan stole the musical score from Monopoly and somehow put it in Inception. I'm also sure that Tequila tastes best before noon Monday through Friday. These are things you learn when you type in your PJs at 3 in the afternoon.
Giants closer Brian Wilson is quickly becoming one of my favorite players in the league. I mean shit the guy rocks a terrorist beard and still gets mad pussy. How is that even possible? If I have two day stubble I'm basically shut off like it's Fort Knox down there. If I wasn't a die hard Braves or Orioles fan I could definitely see myself rooting for the Giants. I mean shit they wear the same colors as the Orioles. They play in one of my favorite cities to visit and their ballpark rivals Camden Yards. And they also got Lincecum who the Orioles somehow dumbfucked their way into not drafting him and instead took fucking Billy Rowell. I don't know what the purpose of this video is but it's crazy how the pitchers mound can make Matt Cain look so much bigger. It's little wonder (pun intended) he can mow down hitters with those fucking claws for hands. By the way where the hell is Lincecum? He probably was too busy chowing down some In-N Out after smoking some medicinal.
Thanks to George Lee for posting this vintage New York Mets commercial. I'm probably the last person who should make fun of the Metropolitans since my Orioles and Braves have contracted bat aids. Yeah it's horrible. Nobody can hit worth a shit and like Magic Johnson only money, a whole lot it, can make it bat aids go away.
Because I know of a few programs that could use the help at the fullback position. If she packs on about another 20 then we are looking at a future noseguard.
Darby will be a cornerback for the Fighting Irish and return kicks. He was electronically timed at the Under Armour All-American Combine in Orlando, FL in the 40-yard dash and ran an astonishing 4.31. He is one of if not the fastest sprinter in the country. He has multiple time trials on the track that timed out the fastest in the nation. He will be the fastest recruit at Notre Dame since Allen Rossum was playing corner in the mid 90's.
I know a lot of fans want to see him at tailback and for good reason with his ridiculous speed. But Darby likes to play defense and with Notre Dame losing Gary Gray, Robert Blanton, and Harrison Smith out of the secondary in 2012 Darby will get immediate playing time. He told IrishIllustrated.com he loves to play defense.
"I really like defense best and special teams," Darby previously told IrishIllustrated.com. "I like to be the one to deliver the hit."
With Tee Shepard and Darby in the fold Notre Dame has two of the elite cornerbacks in the nation. Geno Smith out of Atlanta is another elite corner that Notre Dame hopes to get on campus in the summer or fall. With the Irish losing most of their secondary to the NFL in 2012 all of these kids will have a chance to contribute immediately and Notre Dame can obviously sell playing time to them.
The Irish also picked up Michael Cera's doppelganger in Nicky Baratti out of Texas. Baratti will play safety in college and his high school film brings back memories of another former Irish safety in Tommy Zbikowski. Like Zibby Baratti plays quarterback in high school and is extremely fast and physical.
I've seen a lot of things in baseball but this is a first. Detroit Tigers starter Justin Verlander steps off the rubber and then fires it home. Just a complete brain fart with Verlander.
Deion Bonner, Marquise Hawkins and an unidentified juvenile from Columbus were arrested by UGA police and charged with theft by taking over the weekend. They’re accused of stealing iPods and iPhones from the unsecured lockers of seven football players on April 7 during an open-house event at Butts-Mehre Heritage Hall. The estimated value of the stolen items was $1,330.
Bonner was charged with one count of theft by taking, Hawkins was charged with two counts of theft by taking and the unidentified juvenile with three counts of theft by taking, according to Williamson. Bonner and Hawkins were booked at Athens-Clarke County jail a little after 9 a.m. Monday morning and have $1,500 bonds posted on each count. The crimes are considered misdemeanors.
Bonner, a 5-11, 185-pound defensive back from Carver-Columbus, is considered one of the top prospects in the state for the Class of 2012 and was included among the AJC’s “Tentative Top 10″ prospects for next season. The AJC has learned that Hawkins is not a college football prospect. Marquise Hawkins is the twin brother of Carver-Columbus quarterback Marqui Hawkins, who is a 2013 recruiting prospect, according to Carver coach Dell McGee.
Carver High School is where top incoming recruit Isaiah Crowell, a tailback, is from and I'm sure you can only imagine the collective shit in their pants UGA Nation had when they first heard some high school recruits from that particular school were involved. PLEASE DON'T BE CROWELL PLEASE HOLY FUCK DON'T BE CROWELL FOR FUCK'S SAKE DON'T BE CROWELL!!!!!!!!!
So it's safe to say with the thefts that Mark Richt and his staff will no longer be recruiting Bonner or Hawkins. If anything they would fit in perfectly at Tennessee. Get on it Derek Dooley
Kevin Na posted an ungodly 16 on a par 4 hole yesterday at the Valero Texas Open. Holy shit I didn't even think that was possible. I'm not the best golfer by any means but I don't think I've ever scribbled a 16 on my scorecard. In fact I'm positive. I mean what do you do if you are Na at this point? You are now famous for being shitty. Do you go all Tiger and get hookers and blow and call it a bad day? I have no idea. I don't shoot 16's on par 4's. Now par 5's are a completely different story.
