Every Fan of College Football

This was way better than the MLB version. The Clemson and BYU ones cracked me up.

Every Fan of Major League Baseball

Bravo sir. Bravo.

Nun Stealing Beer

This Nun is clearly an Alex Rodriguez fan. Just stealing and acting like it's no big deal.

Via ExtraMustard

The Orioles Won't Back Down To The Yankees

The Orioles have resorted to throwing bats at Joba Chamberlain! Ok that's not the truth. But if you watched last night's 13 inning game nerve wrecker you will have noticed that the Orioles have no intention of backing down to the mighty New York Yankees. Joba got hit on his pitching elbow by Matt Wieter's broken off bat and had to come out of the game. This time the Yankees couldn't get two Raul Ibanez homers to pull off a miracle. Today they get a deciding game 5 with these two teams having evenly split their first 22 games. CC takes the mound for the Yankees and the Orioles will trot out Jason Hammel. I got money on the Orioles and not just because I'm a fan. This team is resilient and expects to win. The Orioles pitching has been outstanding. It will continue tonight. Orioles win 4-3.

Joba GIF via BIGLEADSPORTS

Don't Mess With The Buckeyes Especially When Delivering A Pizza

Ohio State defensive coordinator Luke Fickell's wife Amy didn't enjoy her pizza delivery guy the other day and got him fired for making an innocent suggestion that the defense needs to improve their tackling. It's probably not the best comment to make to somebody especially when you are fishing for a tip but holy hell this lady needs to get off her high horse. It looks like Ohio takes their football as seriously as they do down here in the South. It's just too bad the Big Ten blows and the Buckeyes defense which gave up 38 points to Nebraska in a win Saturday could improve their tackling. The pizza delivery guy was right. Amy is just wrong.

The League Season Premiere is Tonight

I feel bad to admit this but I missed the whole last season of The League. It's one of the best comedies out there besides the Chicago Cubs and yet fatherhood and a nightly drinking habit kept me away. Well fuck that. It's time to get my Shiva Bowl on! In terms of comedies where would you rank it?

Here are mine. And like a Cubs fan feel free to argue your reason to live another day.

1) Curb Your Enthusiasm - Just delivers every episode. The Michael J. Fox episode was hilarious last season.
2) Modern Family - The writing is rather brilliant for a network show.
3) Veep - I laughed so hard at a couple of episodes tears formed. Brilliant writing and Julia Louis-Dreyfus dialogue with her co stars is fucking hysterical.
4) Californication - Hank Moody is my hero.
5) The League - I gotta watch season 3 but the first two were hilarious.
Just missed the cut: Always Sunny In Philadelphia (was kinda disappointed with it last year, probably has run it's course)

Midseason Top 5 Heisman

We are basically at midseason in college football with most teams putting in a solid 6 games. Right now it looks like a one man race (West Virginia's Geno Smith) but injuries happen and teams do collapse. Here are my top 5 Heisman candidates.

1. Geno Smith - Right now it's Geno's hardware to lose. Geno led another spirited win last week in Austin with 4 TD and zero point zero INTs to bring his season total to a whopping 24 TDs to 0 INTs. I don't know about you but that is kind of impressive. He also has a 81.4% completion percentage and a NCAA record 202.4 QB rating. By far the leading candidate Geno could lose a couple of games in Morgantown and still take home the Heisman in my opinion. It helps to play in the Big 12 also where defenses go to die.

2. Braxton Miller - Miller Time has the Buckeyes off to a 6-0 start and is putting up Cam Newton-like numbers. The sophomore hasn't quite polished his throws but is still over 60% with a 9 TD-to-3 INT ratio. His legs have been devastating with 763 yards rushing along with 8 TDs. Too bad Ohio State is ineligible for a postseason appearance or Miller would have a legitimate chance of at least competing with Geno right now.

3. Manti Te'o - Yes, a defensive player is in my top 3 candidates. Te'o is the face of the undefeated Fighting Irish and is the best linebacker in the game. He has been huge in big television games vs Navy, Michigan State, Michigan, and Miami. College GameDay has put the spotlight on him already with the loss of his girlfriend and grandmother which has pulled the heartstrings of America including myself. The team leader will get the chance to showcase himself on the big stage this week vs Stanford as well as future road games vs Oklahoma and USC. If ND keeps winning Te'o will at least get an invite to New York.

4. Collin Klein - I've never been fully convinced Optimus Klein is that good but he is proving me wrong this season. He has K State undefeated with huge wins over Miami and Oklahoma on his resume. His numbers are not nearly as outstanding as Smith but next week he will get his chance to go up against him as they travel to Morgantown. Win that game and Klein might have a chance to overtake Geno.

5. Marcus Lattimore - I still think Lattimore is the best runningback in the nation and if South Carolina keeps winning especially like they did last week vs Georgia he has a shot at an invite to New York. Unfortunately for him I'm not convinced he is even the best player on his team (hello Jadeveon Clowney) and I'm not sure how well he can hold up the next two weeks in games on the road at LSU and Florida. Both of those teams have defenses that will try to punish Lattimore.

Barely outside looking in: Jadeveon Clowney, Jarvis Jones, De'Anthony Thomas, Johnny Manziel, Marquise Lee

I'd Rather "Shower" At Penn State Than Be A Michigan Fan Shirt

Another SportsCrack.com original shirt called "I'd Rather "Shower" At Penn State Than Be A Michigan Fan" is now available for pre orders. Shipping will start on October 16th. This is pretty much the perfect college gameday t-shirt and will surely get all the laughs at your next tailgate.

Order the T-shirt HERE.

Unbelievable Military Family Reunion During the South Carolina/Georgia Game

The Faile family from Kershaw, South Carolina, was the Columbia Metropolitan Airport Military Family of the Game, set to be recognized on the field. Their first surprise was a message to them from their dad/husband, Sergeant First Class Scott Faile, playing on the video board, followed by an even bigger surprise. The Gamecocks would go on to beat Georgia, 35-7, just as Sgt. Faile predicted.

These videos always get me. It's like watching Old Yeller get the gun. Not many people realize the sacrifices the soldiers and their families have to go through in order to keep our freedoms. Tip of the hat to the University of South Carolina for pulling this off and making these strange water droplets come out of my eyes on a Monday morning.

Video via BarstoolSports

Clemson Pulled Off A Fantastic Trick Play Vs Georgia Tech

I'm still lost how Clemson pulled off this play and I've watched it 15 times. I can only imagine how Georgia Tech felt.

Falcons Knocked Out RG3

With the win yesterday the Atlanta Falcons moved to 5-0 for the first time in franchise history. Their defense knocked out RG3 with a concussion and then held on to beat the Redskins 24-17. With Oakland coming to the Dome there is a good chance the Falcons will be undefeated in mid October. You couldn't ask for a better start. Rise Up!

Gif via TheBigLead

Notre Dame Crushes Miami 41-3

The Notre Dame defense hasn't given up a touchdown in a month. Notre Dame has yet to trail in a game. They are undefeated at 5-0 despite playing one of the most difficult schedules in all of football. ESPN's GameDay will be in South Bend this week for the Stanford game.

Brian Kelly and the boys have woken up the echoes. Ranked 7th you could make a strong argument that Notre Dame is one of the most underrated teams in the nation. With Everett Golson coming into his own the offense should continue to make improvements. With Manti Te'o leading a stout defense the Irish should continue to control the line of scrimmage. It's a great time to be a Notre Dame fan. Go Irish!

Bar Refaeli Needs Your Money to Kickstart a Sex Tape

Bar Refaeli's Sex Tape Kickstarter from Bar Refaeli

Poor girl. I think it's time we helped out a worthy cause that all men and/or women can get behind. What a great name...Bar. If only my parents had named me after the place where I was conceived...Shame. Shame Fairchild just rolls off the tongue.

GURSHALL TAILBACK U 34 T-SHIRT

If you watched the Tennessee game you got to see a full dose of GURSHALL ball. Gurshall is just the latest to play for Tailback U. Now you can get the official #gurshall t-shirt to show your support. Comes in regular cotton and performance cool-dri (similar to an Under Armour shirt). Taking pre-orders now. Shipping starts October 9th.

For the First Time Ever I Actually Agree With ESPN's Todd McShay

WTF is wrong with me? Am I taking crazy pills? I actually agree completely here with Todd McShay's top Heisman candidates at this point of the season. Obviously my bias would put Manti Te'o at the top of the list but I can't disagree with having Colin Klein at the top right now. Klein has been huge in big victories over Miami and Oklahoma and is having a RG3 type season so far.

The Real Refs Are Back So Take The Ravens Big Tonight

Thank God Ed Hochuli and his 60 inch pythons are back signaling for first downs starting tonight in Baltimore. I was getting worried I was going to lose all my damn beer with these replacement officials calling touchdowns on interceptions. Tonight is the RIP Art Modell Bowl. The Ravens were the Browns before they moved to Baltimore and now the Browns are still the same old shitty team they were when Tim Couch was getting slaughtered by the wolves in the late 90's. But this time they have Brandon Weeden at QB. I know what you are thinking and you are right...Ed Reed will have a touchdown.

Take the Ravens and the points at -13. In fact take the OVER too because the Ravens will score more than 44 themselves tonight. The Browns will put some points on the board but they won't be closer than 20 all night.

Hooker spit and cocaine confidence level: 9 out of 10

Rookie Hazing At It's Absolute Best: Tampa Bay Rays at Fenway Park

Tampa Bay Rays pitcher David Price twitted out this video of some rookie hazing at the hands of his teammates. See it's not all about "butt chugging" and killing people. It's about wearing throwback Olivia Newton John leotards and dancing to "Call Me Maybe" at Fenway Park. This is rookie hazing at it's finest. Not to sound gay or anything but a couple of those girls had smoking bodies.

Via HotClicks

Seth Macfarlane Nails His Ryan Lochte Impression On SNL

Yeah...athletes are dumb. But I agree with Lochte on one thing. That new show "Monkey Hospital" looks hilarious.

Vegas SportsBook Reaction to Controversial Golden Tate Touchdown Catch

I will be the first to admit the NFL has been a joke this season with the replacement referees butchering the games but I also have to admit this has already been one of the more entertaining NFL seasons that I can recall. Seattle Seahawks wide receiver Golden Tate clearly committed an offensive pass interference that is rarely if ever called especially when it comes to a hail mary pass but I gotta love the two referees looking at one another and then agreeing to call opposite calls. Priceless.

I'm so glad I decided not to bet on this game. I was close to betting heavily on the Packers at -3. With the controversial TD the Seahawks won by 2. And Vegas erupted as expected. If you are a gambling man stay away from the NFL. The NFL is always uncertain but now with the replacement officials it's become chaos.

And just a FYI when I watched the play live I thought it was an interception but when they landed on the ground it looked to me that Golden had wrestled the ball away. If the Packers just bat the ball away we have no controversy.

Video via TheBigLead via Beyond The Bets

Taking Pre Orders Now On Catholics Vs Mormons The Holy War T-shirts

Here is another new SportsCrack.com t-shirt called CATHOLICS VS MORMONS : THE HOLY WAR . We are taking pre orders on this limited edition t-shirt. Shirts will ship later this week.