Andrew "Maple Jordan" Wiggins Will Be The Biggest Story in College Basketball This Year

And yes we will be making a "Maple Jordan" shirt after seeing this disgusting between the legs dunk at the McDonald's All-American dunk contest.  Andrew Wiggins is from Toronto hence the "Maple Jordan" nickname which is oh so sweet.

Jadeveon Clowney Answers Media Questions About Him "Quitting"

As you probably know Jadeveon Clowney has not had the greatest junior season.  Hyped as a Heisman front runner by ESPN and multiple media outlets before the season in large part to his "hit" vs Michigan in the bowl game Clowney has not come close to producing (sacks or tackles for loss) his numbers he had his freshman and sophomore seasons.  Now there are questions about his conditioning and his heart.  Does he really want to play?  Or is he afraid to get hurt and kill his draft stock like what happened to his teammate Marcus Lattimore last season and risk losing millions of dollars?

My take: I get a Dwight Howard vibe from Clowney.  He says one thing but I don't believe him.  I don't think his coaches or teammates believe him either.  Even the Ole Ball Coach called him out a bit during his press conference after Clowney decided to sit out vs Kentucky.  Clowney knows he is going to get millions in April and doesn't want to risk it for South Carolina.  I can see where he is coming from.  It's a winning lottery ticket and you don't want to risk everything by putting it in the washing machine.  But I also wouldn't want him on my team.  If he doesn't want to play then fine.  Sit out.  But don't act like you do want to play and then pull some backdoor shit on your teammates, coaches, and fans.

What do you think about Clowney?  Is it much ado about nothing or is he really sitting out to insure his health and NFL Draft stock?

Top 10 College Football Teams and Heisman Contenders

We had another great college football Saturday.  Georgia's dream season almost ended in smoke (Tennessee smoke jerseys to be precise) as they got a couple of miracles at the end of regulation and overtime and hung on to beat a horrible Vols squad.  UGA was decimated with injuries as they lost starting tailback Keith Marshall for the season with an ACL injury and also starting receiver Justin Scott-Wesley to the same injury.  WR Michael Bennett had surgery on a torn meniscus and RB Todd Gurley is still out with a sprained ankle.  The Bulldogs will definitely be on UPSET alert this week as a somewhat hot and undefeated Mizzou team comes to Athens.

Here are my top 10 teams. These are how I would rank them in terms of overall performance and the strength of schedule they have faced.

1. Oregon

2. Alabama

3. Stanford

4. Clemson

5. Baylor

6. Georgia

7. Ohio State

8. Florida State

9. Texas A&M

10. LSU

I dropped Georgia one spot and moved Baylor up to 5.  Despite all the injuries there is no good specific reason why UGA should struggle mightily vs Tennessee.  The Volunteers are god awful and Georgia's defense is still suspect.  Baylor still hasn't played anybody great but they once again put up over 70 points (3rd time in 4 games, other game they scored 69) while demolishing West Virginia.  Their offense is unstoppable and I don't really see the logic of having them rated below Miami of all teams.  Baylor would destroy a team like the Hurricanes.  

FSU makes their first appearance in the top 10 after manhandling a decent Maryland team 63-0.  Jameis Winston had another Heisman-worthy performance and will get the week off before an epic battle next Saturday vs Clemson.  Whoever wins that game could be playing for a National Title come January.

I also got Ohio State in the top 10 for the first time at #7 after a tough road win in Northwestern.  I basically swapped them with UCLA after they squeezed by a bad Utah team.  UCLA and Washington both dropped out while the undefeated Buckeyes and Seminoles make it in there.  Both teams still have a long road ahead in order to get to the top 2.  The Buckeyes schedule is a joke so they are going to need a lot of teams to not only lose but look bad while doing it.

4 SEC Teams.

2 PAC-12 Teams.

2 ACC Teams.

1 Big 12 Team.

1 Big Ten Team.

I would also rank the conferences in strength to this top 10.  The SEC is still the breadwinner but the PAC-12 and ACC are much better this season to year's past.

TOP 5 HEISMAN CONTENDERS

1. Johnny Manziel - Johnny had plenty of time to sign autographs as the Aggies were off last week.

2. Marcus Mariota - 5 TD passes with no turnovers in another blowout.  He should get a lot of hype this week as they travel to Washington along with ESPN GameDay.

3. Jameis Winston - Tore up an undefeated Maryland team.  Only a redshirt freshman Winston is already a household name.

4. Tajh Boyd - Clemson continues to roll as Boyd threw for 5 TDs in a blowout win vs Syracuse.

5. Aaron Murray - Murray has come up big in crucial moments all season.  He did it again in Knoxville.

Red Sox Shotgunning Beers After Eliminating the Rays

Well since Monday around these parts in Atlanta was considered Black Monday with the Braves again getting eliminated in Choketober and the Falcons blowing a lead vs the shitty Jets on Monday night and falling to 1-4 it's been difficult for me to even watch anything sports related, much less talk about it.   Even though I can't stand the Red Sox this celebration put a smile on my face.  Here we have grown men making millions of dollars acting like high school kids.  I love it.  Just shotgunning beers left and right.  Blood, tears and beers.  Don't ever grow up.

Via BarStoolSports

FSU Student Lauren Hanley Needs a Famous Jameis Shirt

I mean how else is she going to cover up those warlocks?  Good lord and we thought Jameis Winston had the most talent in Tallahassee.  Clearly we were wrong.  Dead Double D Wrong.  Somebody get her a Famous Jameis shirt NOW!

PICTURES VIA BARSTOOL

Top 10 College Football Teams and Heisman Contenders

Last week finally lived up to some of the preseason hype with a great Georgia vs LSU battle in Athens and old Lane Kiffin getting his ass kicked off the team bus and fired after USC gave up 62 points to Arizona State. With Georgia winning a HUGE game they have set themselves up to reach the National Championship game if they win out. Granted one of Clemson or Oregon would have to lose one game to 100% make sure a one-loss SEC Championship winner gets into the BCS Title game but we know there is no fucking way they both go undefeated with Stanford and FSU on their schedules.

Who replaces Kiffin? My early bet would be Kevin Sumlin. Sumlin will have to replace Johnny Manziel in the offseason along with 3 starting linemen. Plus what is more attractive: College Station, TX or Hollywood? Yeah Sumlin would jump at the opportunity if given it. But you also have Jack Del Rio (no fucking way), Chris Petersen (I could see him leaving Boise), Pat Fitzgerald (seems an odd fit), and James Franklin (can't see Haden putting up with his antics) as viable candidates. Honestly it won't matter who USC hires. They will be better than Kiffin instantly.

Here are my top 10 teams. These are how I would rank them in terms of overall performance and the strength of schedule they have faced.

1. Oregon
2. Alabama
3. Stanford
4. Clemson
5. Georgia
6. Baylor
7. UCLA
8. Washington
9. Texas A&M
10. LSU

I think I'm going to regret dropping LSU that low from where I had them last week (3). The Tigers are a really good team. They just faced a better Georgia team at home with a quarterback in Aaron Murray who is playing Heisman-worthy football right now. LSU lost last minute on the road but they still can make it to the SEC Championship and possible the National Championship if they win out including battles vs Bama and Johnny Football. Could it be done? Of course. But right now I would put it at less than 25%. LSU has the feel of a 2-loss team but they are better than UCLA and Washington overall. Fuck I should have LSU definitely higher. I'll probably switch around next week.

Georgia of course makes the big climb back into the top 5. They lost a tough road game to #4 Clemson in the season opener and struggled vs North Texas but they got two tremendous victories at home vs South Carolina and LSU. Both of those victories are like getting strange 9's or 10's in Miami as opposed to banging a 7 somewhere in the Midwest.  Baylor is still the sneaky little sexy bitch with glasses out in Texas who a lot of guys are failing to recognize because they aren't Oklahoma or Texas. In fact they are much better. Again they remind me of Oregon. So much speed. Also you could interchange Oregon and Alabama at the top of the rankings. Both are great programs who could eventually meet in Pasadena. Personally I would love to see those two programs battle it out.

Noticed I've left out Ohio State and Florida State despite being undefeated behind one loss SEC teams Georgia, Aggies, and LSU.  While both the Buckeyes and Seminoles have unbelievable talents at the QB position in Braxton Miller and Jameis Winston I don't see their overall team speed and athleticism up there with the other SEC schools.  Again I could be wrong on this but they will have plenty of chances to sneak up the ladder.

TOP 5 HEISMAN CONTENDERS

1. Johnny Manziel - Johnny ran and passed all over the Hogs Saturday night.
2. Marcus Mariota - He wasn't flawless because of the monsoon in Eugene but he still lead the Ducks to 55 points vs Cal.
3. Jameis Winston - The Seminoles struggled early on but Famous Jameis came on strong and led the team to romp vs Boston College.
4. Tajh Boyd - Passed the 100 TD career mark in an impressive 49 point victory over Wake.
5. Aaron Murray - Played brilliantly while leading the Dawgs to an impressive win vs the Mad Hatter.

Yup I got all 5 contenders filled with quarterbacks.  It's another one of those years where anyone who doesn't take a snap behind center has much of a chance.  I dropped Todd Gurley (not his fault with the sprained ankle) and replaced him with Aaron Murray.  I still don't have AJ McCarron or Teddy Bridgewater in there.

Best play of the week goes to Famous Jameis with this remarkable play...

2013 Notre Dame Shamrock Series HydroFX Mini Helmets Have Shipped!

The Notre Dame 2013 Shamrock Series mini helmets made by Hydrofx started shipping yesterday.  We got about 35 left in stock if you are still interested.  Order today.  These were limited edition mini helmets and once they sell out they are gone forever.

Ships immediately!

Carlos Gomez and Brian McCann Start Benches Clearing Hissy Fit

This is the one thing I never understand about baseball "fights."  If you are going to get in somebody's face at least have the balls to throw a punch.  I'm not faulting Braves catcher Brian McCann entirely for this but you can see him talking to Brewers outfielder Carlos Gomez as he steps in to the batter's box.  This is usually never a good thing unless you are friends.  These guys clearly are not.  So I think, granted I don't know for sure, that McCann was chirping in Gomez ear about something.  Then Braves pitcher Paul Maholm who has some history with Gomez (gave up a HR and hit him twice before in the back before this at-bat) throws an absolute meat pitch.  Immediately Gomez does his slow home run trot.

And this is what pisses me off about "unwritten baseball rules."  I am a Braves fan I personally have no problem with home run trots.  Playing the game my whole life I know how hard it is to hit one out.  If you don't want the other team doing trots well then don't throw meat letter high over the middle of the plate.

Now of course Gomez is at fault here too.  He could have been the bigger man and let his bat do the talking instead of his mouth.  He immediately started yelling at McCann, Maholm and then first basemen Freddie Freeman while rounding the bases.  It's a punk move on his part no doubt.  But let's don't act like the Braves are not complicit here.

Which brings me back to McCann.  Why are you blocking home plate?  I get it.  You are pissed off at Gomez for running his mouth after hitting a bomb but why are you not being the bigger man and letting it go?  Playoffs start next week.  The Braves don't need you suspended or hurt during a fight.  And you guys are fighting for home field advantage which is way more important than any yelling match with some player on a shitty team.  Freeman, the MVP of the team, gets ejected and the Braves go on to get shutout and are now behind the Cardinals for home field.

That is the punk move.  The Braves need to be focusing on the bigger picture here.  Gomez and his home run trot don't mean shit.  Home field and having everyone in your lineup healthy ready for the playoffs means a lot.  So I'm faulting McCann here even though I love him.  He might have cost the Braves not only home field (Braves have the best record at home, mediocre on the road) but some momentum going into the playoffs.  Because in the long run all the showmanship of a trot doesn't mean shit unless you win.  And Gomez and the Brewers won while getting under the Braves skin.

In conclusion: focus on the bigger goal Braves.  I don't want to hear any excuses come playoff time.  Last year it was the "one game playoff" and "infield fly" that wasn't fair.  I don't want to hear it anymore.  It's bullshit.  I also don't want to hear about the umpires.  It's bullshit.  Go out and win.  That should be the main and only focus.  And for the love of God ignore assholes like Gomez.  We don't need any "fights" or ejections going into the playoffs.

Go Bravos!

UCLA Linebacker Anthony Barr Nearly Killed This Poor New Mexico State QB

Is Anthony Barr a top 10 pick in the NFL Draft?  He has to be.  This kid is 6'4, 255 lbs and absolutely destroys quarterbacks.  Remember Matt Barkley last year?  Without Barr's knockout hit there is a good chance Notre Dame doesn't beat USC to get to the National Title.  Of course Barr is a Notre Dame legacy (Dad is Tony Brooks and Uncle is Reggie Brooks) who never made it to South Bend.  It would have been sick to see him in the real Blue and Gold on the edge with Notre Dame last season.  By the way there was nothing illegal about his hit here.  Just a clean shit-knocking-football hit.

Atlanta Braves Baselines Parody Music Video Features Cameo by Javy Lopez

Um I'm almost 100% positive the original video by Robin Thicke had topless chicks dancing around.  This video is very suspect without it.  Seeing former Braves great Javy Lopez in it doesn't quite make up for the lack of boobs.

The one featured Braves girl though definitely has a bright future.  She even looks a little bit like model Emily Ratajkowski.

Put some more hugs in the video and it's tolerable.  Barely.

#FearTheChop

Oakland A's Beer Swigging Baby All The Rage Right Now

Now this is definitely NOT legal: pic.twitter.com/twhJIjiHHZ
— Isaac Ropp (@iropp) September 23, 2013

This baby knows how to party!  While others were shitting in their pants, sucking their thumbs, and looking gross this baby stepped up his game for the Oakland A's AL West Division Champs celebration.  This baby can play on my team any day.

Top 10 College Football Teams and Heisman Contenders

Last Saturday was by far the worst college football weekend in terms of match ups and upsets.  No upsets.  No good games.  But luckily for us it will be the only weekend since the games get much more tougher as the season goes on and conference battles start.

Here are my top 10 teams.  These are how I would rank them in terms of overall performance and the strength of schedule they have faced.

1. Oregon 

2. Alabama

3. LSU

4. Stanford

5. Clemson

6. Baylor

7. UCLA

8. Washington

9. Texas A&M

10. Georgia

I got Oregon over Bama because the Tide despite the strong win in College Station have looked rather miserable in wins over Va Tech and Colorado State.  I know it goes against my premise of you can't drop the #1 team until someone knocks them down but they just aren't the same Bama from last year.  Oregon on the other hand is playing way better than I expected after Chip Kelly left for the NFL.  I thought they would take a step back but they haven't skipped a beat.  Similar to what Stanford went through in their head coaching transition a couple of seasons back.  LSU might be the best team in the country.  Unfortunately they also have the toughest schedule.  They have to go to Athens this week and still have games against Bama, Johnny Football, and Ole Miss.  Don't laugh but Baylor could be the Oregon from 3 years ago who played Auburn for the Natty.  Their offense is ridiculous (over 60 points 3 games in a row) and Art Briles can coach with the best of them.  I think right now they are clearly the best team in the Big 12 over Oklahoma and Okie State.

Now I know SEC people will want to rip my throat out for this but look at my top 10 and think for a second (maybe two if that is possible) about the PAC 12 as a legit power football conference.  Oregon and Stanford have already proven they are top 10 programs with big BCS Bowl wins in recent years.  But UCLA and Washington are coming on strong too.   I wouldn't take them over Bama and LSU but I could see them beating UGA and the Aggies on a neutral field.

TOP 5 HEISMAN CONTENDERS

1.  Johnny Manziel - He's the best player in the nation.

2.  Marcus Mariota - He only gets to play a half of football but when he does it's flawless.

3.  Jameis Winston - Jameis Christ is already a God in Tallahassee.

4.  Todd Gurley - Still the best RB in the nation but Baylor's Seastrunk is coming on strong.

5.  Tajh Boyd - He looked rather pedestrian vs NC State on Thursday.  One more bad game and he's out.

Braves Clinch NL East Title

It's hard to believe it's been since 2005 since the Atlanta Braves won the NL East.  The streak ended  yesterday in Chicago with a shower of champagne and Bud Light in the visitor's clubhouse. Congratulations go out to general manager Frank Wren for constructing a club that is solid from 1-to-25 and could sustain multiple major injuries (Huddy, Venters, O'Flaherty, Heyward, McCann, etc.) and player slumps (BJ and Uggla) and really not skip a beat all season. Also big props go out to manager Fredi Gonzalez. He's kept a loose clubhouse all season and you can see in the players that they love playing for him.

 I love seeing the Falcon's game in the clubhouse when they are celebrating.

 Now go out and win the homefield this last week. If the Braves are going to make it back to the World Series for the first time in over a decade they have to clinch it over St. Louis and the Dodgers. Currently they are up 1.5 games on the Cards for it. The Braves have the majors best record at home.  When they are away from the Ted they are only a .500 team.  Winning homefield at the Ted is imperative for a successful postseason.

With just a week left and if Heyward can come back completely healthy this would be my lineup for the playoffs.

1. Heyward - CF
2. Justin Upton - RF
3. Freeman - 1B
4. Chris Johnson - 3B
5. McCann - C
6. Gattis - LF
7. Simmons - SS
8. Elliott Johnson - 2B
9. Pitcher

I'm going with a 3-man rotation of:
1. Medlen
2. Teheran
3. Minor

Put Alex Wood and Paul Maholm as the long relievers if needed. No way either one of them should start a playoff game in my opinion. Roll with the 3 Aces and go from there.

Also get Jordan Schafer in there starting if Gattis is scuffling because his defense and speed are the best on the team in the outfield.  But there is no way you can start either one of BJ Upton or Dan Uggla.  They don't deserve to start and I don't care how much money they make.  It's playoff time.  You start your best players who have performed.

Now go out and win a World Series!

Famous Jameis Shirts Now Available!

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Exclusive Breaking Video of Nebraska Head Coach Bo Pelini's Profane Rant

Seems legit. I don't know what Nebraska can do other than axe the coach. I mean it's as clear as day here that Bo Pelini hates all things Nebraska. He probably doesn't even eat corn or buy products with corn in it.

El Oso Blanco With The Dick Shot Homer

Or was it the balls?  Either way that guy got fucking nailed in his junk by an El Oso Blanco blast in Miami last night.  I'd say there is a pretty good chance he has baseball stitches on his shit for days after taking a monster shot from the legend of Evan Gattis.

SportsCrack Week 3 Top 10 Teams and Heisman Contenders

1.  Alabama - Bama conveniently had the week off to prepare for Johnny Football and the Aggies.  What they didn't have time to prepare for is the shitstorm about to hit with players getting paid by agents.  Trouble in Tuscaloosa?  Yup.

2.  Clemson - The Tigers were in cruise control last week vs South Carolina State and get this week off before traveling to NC State for a huge Thursday night game.

3.  Oregon - The Ducks could make a solid case for being the most impressive team so far this season.  They are averaging over 60 points a game and this week they get the Vols who should get crushed.

4.  Stanford - Beat a good San Jose St team.  They travel across the country to get Army this week before a big home game vs Arizona St next week.

5.  LSU - Mettenberger has been lights out so far.  If the Bayou Bengals can keep up their scoring pace they could be playing for #1 in two weeks vs Georgia.

6.  Ohio State - I moved the Buckeyes up a lot because I was impressed how easily they dominated San Diego St despite losing Braxton Miller to an injury.  They get Cal this week in Berkeley.

7.  FSU - Didn't play.

8.  Louisville - Teddy Bridgewater was his normal Superman self with a convincing win against East Kentucky.  This week they get a SEC team...Kentucky.  Whoopity fucking do.

9.  Texas A&M - Their defense looks like shit but they got Johnny Football so who cares.  They got a big game this week vs some team called Bama.  Win and they will get #1 votes.

10.  Michigan - Devin Gardner played great Under The Lights and the Wolverines held off a tough Notre Dame team.  They don't play anybody before traveling to Happy Valley in mid October.

Top 5 Heisman Front Runners

My top 5 hasn't changed one bit since last week.  Not sure if that is a good or bad thing.

1.  Jameis Winston, FSU - He should be able to pad his stats vs Nevada this week and Bethune-Cookman next week.

2.  Tajh Boyd, Clemson - If Clemson goes undefeated Boyd will win the Heisman.

3.  Marcus Mariota, Oregon - He absolutely shredded Virginia.

4.  Teddy Bridgewater, Louisville - He can make all the throws and this week he goes against a "SEC defense."

5.  Johnny Manziel, Texas A&M; Todd Gurley, Georgia - All of these top 6 guys are basically interchangeable at this point.  If Manziel beats Bama again then he's #1 on the list.  If Gurley continues to put up monster numbers vs good teams he will get an invite to NYC.

Braxton Miller Nearly Decapitated, Urban Meyer thinks he can play this week

Urban Meyer has gone on record saying junior quarterback Braxton Miller could play this week vs Cal.  Umm are you fucking serious coach?  Did you not see your QB nearly get his head taken off?  Apparently they are claiming Miller didn't suffer a concussion of any kind but instead has a sprained MCL in his left knee vs San Diego State.  The Buckeyes and more importantly Meyer need to do the right thing and let Miller rest this week vs Cal.  Backup quarterback Kenny Guiton played great on Saturday and the Buckeyes didn't miss a beat.  But more important is Miller's long term health.  Don't be a dick Urban.  Rest the kid.

UGA Finally Beat South Carolina But This Fan Has No Memory Of It

Some people just can't handle Athens.  While South Carolina was trying their Cockiness to stop Aaron Murray and the Dawgs from running up and down the field in Sanford this UGA fan flat out tailgated way too hard.  Luckily for him a Georgia Trooper was there to help him home.  And by home I mean beat the shit out of him, throw him in jail, and charge him with assault and disorderly conduct.

Jason Witten Sums Up My Football Weekend

Saturday was rough enough watching Notre Dame lose yet again in the Big House (I genuinely hate that fucking place) and then Sunday got jealous of Saturday so I got the pleasure of watching the Atlanta Falcons lose yet again in New Orleans.  The football gods were not kind.  But at least it's still early on in the season and both teams can regroup and refocus on winning out.  Chances of that happening are less than 1% but a boy* can dream right?

*=delusional gambling alcoholic with a football problem.