THE OTHER SWEET 16 PICKS

Okay, yes, my picks yesterday were pretty much atrocious in the don't look at 2 Girls 1 Cup video way. But I want to make it up to you guys and gals by picking some winners. And as much basketball as I have watched this year which is confined to my two trips to Vegas you can pretty much guarantee these picks are as bad as David Stern is with math and geography. Or maybe just as bad as my grammar.

Davidson over Wisconsin. The exciting Curry is a one man wrecking crew and can pretty much hit any shot on the floor including game winners when some assholes are taking his picture. See, because he is an athlete and clearly Tiger Woods isn't. But I digress. Davidson is for real and I have no idea how they got a 10 seed when they were top 25 the majority of the season. Plus I hate watching Wisconsin play basketball. It's like watching Dane Cook try to be funny. You just watch and wait, watch and wait, watch and wait, and then just get pissed off because you wasted your time while others somehow enjoyed it. We call these people special. Wisconsin basketball is special in a L bus kind of way. Take Davidson with the 5.5 points as the underdog.

Stanford over Texas. I'm on the Stanford and the Lopez twin bandwagon. Those kids can play for me any day or night and I just think they will overwhelm the Longhorns. To be honest I haven't watched one minute of Texas basketball this year because A)it's not football and B)I have a life, as tiny as it may be. Stanford is the dogs by 3 so take them with the points and parlay that shit with Davidson.

Kansas over Villanova. Villanova is playing really good basketball right now but for all intended purposes Kansas should destroy them on a neutral court. Give me Chalmers and Rush and even I could make Bill Self look like a good coach. They won't cover the 12.5 but I would take Kansas on the moneyline and parlay it with Davidson and Stanford.

Memphis over Michigan State. You know everybody is jumping on the Spartans bandwagon and jumping off Memphis. Why? They lost one fucking game all year to Tennessee. Of course I have rationalized Memphis as the winner in this game because I have them in my Final Four but seriously they are a much better team on paper than Michigan State. Derrick Rose is due for one of those "holy f-ing shit did you see that" games all true superstar b-ballers do during the tournament. They are 5 point favorites and I like them to cover it.

Have a great and sober Easter weekend. Oh wait, it was last weekend. Never mind. I give you permission for all out debauchery and chaos while spreading your seed to whomever will take it.