THE DAILY DUMP

The Daily Dump is SportsCrack's review of the day before today while sitting on the porcelain throne, sometimes painful, sometimes oh so sweet...

MLB
-"Jay Bruce is a god." "Finally, a savior for the Reds." "He is the greatest player to play in the last 50 years."
These were all heard last night in Cincy as Bruce Almighty had a perfect major league debut going 3-3 with 2 walks, a stolen base, and a couple of RBI's. Throw in a few standing ovations for the rookie before his first MLB hit and you could see the makings of a legend as soon as he stepped onto the field.

"It's so much the same as the minors," said Bruce, who was batting .364 in Triple-A. "They've just got bigger stands, more fans and better uniforms."

But Bruce forgot to mention the much better looking women with the huge breasts. Rookie mistake. He will learn.



-Hawk-ing one up eh? You have to love the drama that is created by the New York press. In one of the most entertaining games of the season, the Orioles and Yankees combined for 9 home runs while the O's twice came back from 4 run deficits to tie the game and eventually won it in the 11th with a walk-off single from pinch hitter Alex Cintron. Kevin MIIILLLLAAAARRRR!!! hit two bombs into the left centerfield stands and Brian Roberts made a spectacular stab of an Alex Rodriguez liner with the bases loaded to start a huge double play. Yankees starter Ian Kennedy was again horrible with his location and is now on the disabled list because in all honesty he doesn't deserve to play in the majors yet. He blows actually. The Yankees will try to salvage a game in the series as the notorious Orioles killer Andy Pettitte takes the hill tonight against Jeremy Guthrie.

-Josh Hamilton for MVP? The recovering heroin addict hit a grand slam and finished the night with 5 RBI's to give himself a major league leading 58 RBI's, 12 more than anybody else in both leagues in helping the surprising Texas Rangers to a 12-6 win over the Tampa Bay Rays. Right now I would have to say the 27 year old is by far the leading MVP candidate as he is on a pace to drive in 176 runs despite playing with a heavily taped left thumb that would cause considerable discomfort to most players. Hamilton isn't most players. He is the type of player everyone with a heart should root for because of his ability to beat the demons inside his head and kick aside a life threatening drug habit. And just a reminder that Hamilton was traded during the offseason for Cy Young candidate Edinson Volquez to make room for Jay Bruce. Strange how things work out for both the clubs and the players.

-Ervin Santana bounced back from consecutive losses to throw a complete game 3 hitter against the Detroit Tigers in a 3-2 win. The pitching duel between Santana and Jeremy Bonderman was a good one and the Tigers squandered a 2 run lead in the eighth inning with a wild pitch to Vladimir Guerrero and an RBI single by Garrett Anderson tying the game. Gary Matthews completed the comeback win with a RBI single with two outs in the 9th.
Things have only gotten worse in Detroit as Gary Sheffield was put on the DL with a strained oblique and Carlos Guillen is now playing DH after a switch from 3B because of a horrible case of hemorrhoids. I shit you not.

NBA
You make the call...

Video HT: AwfulAnnouncing
If you thought NBA ref Joey Crawford made the right call by not making one you are either a Lakers fan or had money riding on them. On the other hand if you think the no foul call was bullshit you are more than likely rooting for the Spurs. I thought there was a foul by Derek Fischer on Brent Barry on the play but Barry didn't sell it. See, in today's NBA game you have to flop or act like you are being castrated in order to draw a foul. Barry the veteran should have known this. The Lakers are now up 3-1 in the series as they go back to Los Angeles. The NBA will get it's wish as the Lakers will advance to the NBA Finals with a game 5 victory. Mark it down. And hopefully somebody castrates Ginobli, Duncan, and Parker. Actually Parker has already been since he married that stupid attention whore. I can't remember her name but I think she plays thirdbase for the Rays.

NFL
-As far as I know nobody got arrested or killed by an NFL player. All in all a message Commissioner Roger Goodell approves of while stroking his feline while counting his millions...


NHL
-The Red Wings traveled to Pittsburgh yesterday while waiting to destroy the Penguins tonight in Mellon Arena in Game 3 of the Stanley Cup Finals on NBC. I really have nothing else to say except Malkin and Hossa need to get their heads out of their asses and live up to their All-Star playing ability. Fuckers! This of course has nothing to do with me betting on the Penguins to win the damn series. Assholes!

COLLEGE FOOTBALL
-Tony Barnhart points out that Alabama coach Nick Saban is still pissed off about "the Nick Saban rule." The rule was created by the NCAA to keep head coaches off the road in May to do recruiting evaluations because Saban was supposedly breaking some rule.

“I understand why they did it,” Saban said. “It was because everybody was paranoid about what everybody else is doing. I got turned in all kind of times because I was supposedly doing this and that and I wasn’t doing it. I was just watching practice and evaluating players, which is part of our job.”

College footall is all about paranoia. We live for it. Everybody else is cheating except our favorite college team. These are things we rationalize in our heads everyday as we stalk our favorite players on MySpace and Facebook. Deal with it Saban!