SportsCrack Blog

Tuesday, August 26, 2008


The Big East conference is kind of like the Rodney Dangerfield of College Football. They don't get a lot of respect because of the gimmick offenses and the defenses made of undersized blind Canadians. And by Canadians I mean football players from the Northeast who wouldn't stand a chance in the South and by blind I mean they suck for the most part. Don't get me wrong there are some really good players in the conference but anyone of these teams would struggle from week-to-week playing a tough SEC schedule. Hell, Rich Rodriguez finally came to his senses! Kidding Mountaineers fans, kidding. Let's take a look at the Dangerfields...


WEST VIRGINIA MOUNTAINEERS-As some of you may have heard a coach by the name of Rich Rodriguez, otherwise known as DickRod for the uninformed, decided to leave his cushy job at his alma mater to go to big bad Michigan. In short nobody liked the move and most people consider DickRod an assbag who will fail miserably in Ann Arbor and prove how much of a whore he has become. But you know what? Fuck him! Time to move on everybody.
QB Pat White returns for what seems like his 8th season in Morgantown(actually his 4th starting) after winning conference player of the year honors the past two seasons. White is a great college player and one of my favorite players to watch. The kid is so silky smooth I want to lick him up and then poop him out in a waffle cone only to be consumed again. Yeah, he is that good. Steve Slaton is gone but he was overrated anyways and now enters the Devine one named Noel. Noel is a small back who only averaged 8.6 YPC as a true freshman. Yeah, he blows. Devine is like one of those wind-up dog dolls that jump around and bark all the time. He should have a monster season along with White. The offense will sure as shit put a lot of points on the board but the question remains if they will able to stop anybody?
Nope. Their defense could be awful this year with only 4 returning starters. Of course it won't matter too much since they play in the Big East and they get Rutgers and South Florida in Morgantown. A huge Thursday night game against Auburn in Morgantown will help the conference gain some respect it thinks it deserves and a Friday night game against Pittsburgh at Heinz could determine who wins the conference. I see at least 10 wins with a healthy Pat White. They won't contend for a National Title but they will get in a BCS bowl game.


SOUTH FLORIDA BULLS-Almost everybody in the media are licking the Bulls balls this summer thinking they are the most talented team in the conference. Personally I don't like to lick Bulls balls. I love a lot of aspects on their squad including the 17 returning starters who won 9 games last year and at one point reached #2 in the country but their most important player I can't stand. QB Matt Grothe has Reggie Ball-like symptoms of making some of the dumbest fucking decisions you will see a QB make in a game. Maybe he brings it all together for his senior season but I just don't see it happening.

PITTSBURGH PANTHERS-I know what you are saying, "Pitt can't win with a coach like Wannstedt leading the way" but I actually think they will compete in this conference because of RB Lesean McCoy and LB Scott McKillop. Both are among the top 10 at their respective position in the nation and both have the ability to control some aspect of the game. Their defense should be the best in the Big East and if they can learn how to score some TD's when in the red zone this team could surprise a lot of people including West Virginia again.

RUTGERS SCARLET KNIGHTS-Rutgers should be able to put a lot of points on the board this season despite the loss of RB Ray Rice to the NFL. Senior QB Mike Teel has all four of his top WR's back including All-Big East Tiquan Underwood. The defense returns 8 starters but let's be honest they aren't that good. Last year they finished tied for 2nd to last in the conference and should improve even without Rice. They will go as far as Teel leads them.


CINCINNATI BEARCATS-Brian Kelly's program should again be solid but they won't repeat last year's #17 finish. QB Ben Mauk isn't returning for his 11th season of college football and ND transfer Demetrius Jones is recovering from a bum shoulder.

LOUISVILLE CARDINALS-Only 9 returning starters to a program slowly going down in shambles after Bobby Petrino slithered out of town, the Cardinals have a hot shot QB prospect in Hunter Cantwell.

CONNECTICUT HUSKIES-It is true that UCONN is the defending Big East co-champions and coach Randy Edsall is one of the best in the Big East at getting his team ready for battles they have no right to win. But it still is UCONN and the talent isn't there to compete.


SYRACUSE ORANGEMEN-Coach Robinson has finished dead last in his first 3 seasons and they still are the worst team this year by far. Until the get players like Donovan McNabb or Marvin Harrison they will not be able to compete for a bowl.

BEST GAME: WEST VIRGINIA AT PITT (November 28th)-You remember what happened last year during this contest right? All WVU had to do was beat a 28 point dog at home to go to their first ever BCS Title game and yet they completely screwed the pooch and lost. Pitt should be much better this season and the Mountaineers are looking for revenge. It should be a hell of a battle.

WORST GAME: NORTHEASTERN AT SYRACUSE (September 20th)-Watching these two teams could be hazardous to your health both mentally and physically.

MOST OVERRATED GAME: No idea(?)-I'm completely stumped on this one. Most of their games are exciting at the least.

BEST OFFENSIVE PLAYER: West Virginia QB Pat White can do it all whether running the ball or throwing some perfect spirals. He is the Charlie Ward of his era.

BEST DEFENSIVE PLAYER: South Florida defensive end George Selvie is a returning 1st team All-American who led the nation in tackles for loss with 31.5 with 14.5 being the quarterback variety.

BEST FRESHMAN: Pittsburgh WR Jonathan Baldwin is 6'6 and should be used as a big target in the red zone offense. A little raw coming out of high school, his talent will get him on the field quickly for coach Wanny.

MOST LIKELY TO GET ARRESTED: Willie Williams is no longer playing for Louisville after getting kicked out so this makes it a little more difficult and as far as I know there isn't a Vick in the conference. I'm going to go with Mikhail Marinovich of Syracuse. He already has been arrested once for a school break in and if we have learned anything over the years it is you can never put your trust in a Marinovich.

MOST LIKELY TO BE FIRED: Syracuse coach Greg Robinson will be gone if they finish in the Big East basement yet again as I suspect they will.

PLAYER WHO WILL BE BETTER THAN WHAT PEOPLE THINK: Rutgers left tackle Anthony Davis is just a sophomore but is a star in the making. He will be earning millions on the next level and I would die for him to be wearing a Notre Dame uniform

DOESN'T MAKE SENSE AWARD: Why are there only 8 teams in the conference? The Big East needs to add at least 2 more teams. My alma mater Georgia State is finally getting a football program in 2010 and they would be a good fit since they will be playing in the Georgia Dome and they don't know how to play defense.

Everybody is high on South Florida this season but I don't see it. I still think West Virginia, with a healthy Pat White, is the team to beat and will be making their 3rd BCS bowl game in 4 years under White. The kid is a legend!


JPF said...

Matt Fairchild is one creepy MOFO!

You should really keep your sick fantasies of Pat White's poop to yourself you weirdo...

USF has shutdown WV for the last 2 years... and will again this year. They are going to win the conference and silence all of the doubter's... GO BULLS!

Matt Fairchild ( said...

I love you too JPF!

At last I checked everybody loves the Bulls so I guess I am the one doubter out there. They got a good team but like I said their QB isn't championship material. Maybe Groethe proves me wrong and South Florida wins in the cold weather of Morgantown but I don't see it happening.