Big Ben Hurts his Vagina
The Steelers had a big win last night in Washington, but it was not without a loss. Big Ben Roethlisberger was injured on a quarterback sneak close to the end of the second quarter of Pittsburgh's 23-6 victory against those crazy Indians. But, "my friends," this was not the big story. It appears after an MRI this morning that Roethlisberger not only aggravated his shoulder, he also tore a few muscles in his vagina. Teammates aren't too sure when the freak accident actually took place, but they are highly suspicious that the Redskins' cheerleaders played a small role in the incident.
Last week Big Ben's little Ben started to get scared. He was overheard stating...
“I’m not a big fan of playing there because it is loud, they’re really good at home and they try to make their cheerleaders stretch in our tunnel before we come out of the locker room. That’s just not good.”
WHAT!!?? Are you kidding me? Cheerleaders are going to distract you to the point where you are scared to play in D.C.? If he was a real man he would approach one of the hot-ass cheerleaders stretching in front of him, grab her ass, and say, "Hey there little foxy lady, how about I throw a touchdown pass for you tonight, then I'll go deep in your endzone after the game." Turn that distraction into a positive thing. Make it an inspiration. Show off for her!
Seriously, you're in the NFL and you can't handle some hottie showing off her assets for you? You're in the NFL. Go out and bang these hot cheerleaders. Live for suckers like me, stuck at home married, and jerking off every day to stay happy.
2 comments:
got some inside info that hasnt been reported yet.
tonight on the local dallas espn radio show reporter Matt Moseley overheard a conversation last night between big ben and emmitt smith before the game. Moseley wouldnt give the exact quote since it hasnt been reported by espn.com yet but ben told emmitt that he had damage to a key part of his throwing motion that has gone unreported. now this is apparently a completely different injury then the one he sustained in the game. he also went on to say that he had been calling all the plays for the last 3-4 games. the funny part is the only reason moseley was able to overhear this conversation was the fact that big ben doesnt know who the hell he is and that he would be telling everyone that can listen. whoops
hmm, very interesting.
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