JEFF KENT RETIRED TODAY

Mustaches everywhere will now mourn knowing one of their greatest heros besides Tom Selleck is not going to lace up the cleats anymore. Kent was not only a great second baseman who has a decent shot at Cooperstown but he also inspired millions of rednecks and guidos to grow out the prickly upper lip fuzz and display it with pride. Some guys were extremely jealous of his 70's porn stache and took it out on him. For instance Barry Bonds, who could never quite grow the proper black mustache, went after poor innocent Kent in the dugout when they were teammates in San Francisco. The envy Bond's displayed for Kent's stache was sad and yet Jeff came out looking like Clark Kent by standing up to the raging cow steroid body builder in Bonds and squashed him with his glorious follicles.


Kent would later inspire Lt. James Dangle and Junior to go into law enforcement...


You will be missed Jeffrey Franklin Kent. Well...maybe not you personally but your awesome mustache will go down in history. Today I will grow one out for you. You are a hero to mustaches everywhere.