MEL KIPER'S MOCK 2009 NFL FIRST ROUND

Stafford and Moreno can't wait to tap the NFL.

Mel Kiper Jr, "draft guru," has his first 2009 NFL mock draft up now over at ESPN.com. Of course you have to have an insider subscription which costs money to see past the first 15 picks which is beyond stupid. Fuck having to pay for somebody's pointless predictions. We all know only about 10% of his predictions will be right. So if you don't have a membership and want to hear my quick thoughts with no research on his pointless predictions well then you came to the right place. I would also love to hear some thoughts from the peanut gallery out there so feel free to comment away on your favorite team and/or player.

1 Detroit Matthew Stafford QB Georgia-Has all the physical skills to be a NFL QB but for the sake of his career I hope the Lions pass on him. But who knows, if Ryan and Flacco can succeed in their first year then why not Stafford?

2 St. Louis Andre Smith OT Alabama-I like this pick a lot for the Rams. Smith is a dominate left tackle and we all know picking Sanchez at this point would be a reach.

3 Kansas City Mark Sanchez QB USC-Dirty Sanchez! Kiper must really like him. Sanchez has the tools and KC needs a QB but this seems to be a huge stretch pick.

4 Seattle Michael Crabtree WR Texas Tech-The history of top 10 WR's taken is not good but Crabtree, like Calvin Johnson a couple of seasons ago, is too unique to pass up.

5 Cleveland Aaron Curry LB Wake Forest-Going to be honest here, I haven't seem much of Curry since Wake Forest football is outlawed on my television. If I'm going to watch shitty Saturday football I can only dedicate my time to Notre Dame.

6 Cincinnati Jason Smith OT Baylor-Again, no clue. Makes sense though that Cincy would take a player I or their fans have no idea about.

7 Oakland Jeremy Maclin WR Missouri-I have a man crush on Maclin so I like the pick. He is my Desean Jackson of this year.

8 Jacksonville Eugene Monroe OT Virginia-Great player who should step in and start right away.

9 Green Bay Malcolm Jenkins CB Ohio St.-The Packers do need corners but I would love to see them take a RB here with Knowshon and team him up with Ryan Grant.

10 San Francisco Aaron Maybin DE/OLB Penn St.-If Sanchez drops this far I think the 49ers will cut ties with Alex Smith and take him. Maybin is a good pick and would start right away.

11 Buffalo Brandon Pettigrew TE Oklahoma St.-Interesting pick here. You don't see tight ends taken this high besides Vernon Davis and that hasn't exactly worked out for the 49ers. I would take Chase Coffman but Pettigrew is apparently more impressive in workouts.

12 Denver B.J. Raji DT Boston College-Raji came out of nowhere this year and just dominated.

13 Washington Brian Orakpo DE Texas-Jason Taylor was a bust of a pickup so yeah, OSackpo would make sense here.

14 New Orleans Vontae Davis CB Illinois-Vernon's brother Vontae had an up and down season but I think he will be a good pro.

15 Houston Everette Brown DE Florida St.-FSU churns out the defensive stars so why not?

16 San Diego Knowshon Moreno RB Georgia-Very interesting pick here by Kiper. Knowshon would essentially push out Tomlinson. Both are very similar backs and I think Knowshon has a step on vagina lips LT.

17 New York Jets Percy Harvin WR Florida-Harvin is so dynamic but just couldn't stay healthy in college. 50/50 on this pick. Healthy Harvin equals great pick. Gimpy Harvin equals awful pick.

18 Chicago Tyson Jackson DE LSU-Jackson is overrated in my opinion. A product of his school.

19 Tampa Bay Josh Freeman QB Kansas St.-Get the fuck out of here! Freeman..seriously Kiper? Excuse me while I pick up my jaw.

20 Detroit (from Dallas) Rey Maualuga LB USC-This guy has future first round bomb all over him. Sure he lays some hits now and then but he also disappears for long periods of time. Why is that? Heart.

21 Philadelphia Chris "Beanie" Wells RB Ohio St.-Beanie would be a hell of a pickup for the Eagles but it looked like they had more pressing needs on their o-line this season.

22 Minnesota Hakeem Nicks WR North Carolina-Lot of WR's taken in the first round, makes you wonder. I like Nicks a lot and he would look good in purple.

23 New England Brian Cushing LB USC-Patriots took Mayo last year in the first round so I doubt they go Cushing here. A cornerback like D.J. Moore would make more sense.

24 Atlanta Larry English DE/OLB No. Illinois-The Falcons have obvious needs of tight end and anybody that can play defense. I have never heard of English. If they can get Chase Coffman later in the 2nd round then defense makes sense here.

25 Miami Darrius Heyward-Bey WR Maryland-They already have Ginn so why would they take Heyward-Bey? I like Heyward-Bey but their is no way Parcells is picking a WR with this pick.

26 Baltimore D.J. Moore CB Vanderbilt-Moore is a shutdown corner and surprisingly the Ravens don't have anymore. Great pick if he falls to them.

27 Indianapolis Peria Jerry DT Mississippi-Colts need a DT badly so this makes sense.

28 Philadelphia (from Carolina) Michael Oher OT Mississippi-Oher would be an absolute steal for the Eagles at this pick. He should be a top ten pick.

29 New York Giants James Laurinaitis LB Ohio St.-Some of the luster has fallen off the Little Animal but if he falls this far you got to think it's a pretty solid pickup for the Giants.

30 Tennessee Michael Johnson DE Georgia Tech-Having seen Johnson play a lot in person I think this would be a tremendous pick by the Titans. His physical attributes are off the charts and he reminds me a lot of Justin Tuck in college.

31 Arizona LeSean McCoy RB Pittsburgh-Makes sense with Edge close to retiring. McCoy could be a beast in the NFL like
Marshall Faulk was for the Rams playing in an offense that features Fitzgerald and Boldin.

32 Pittsburgh Alex Mack C California-Best center in the draft and we could see all season the Steelers need better protection for Ben Roethlisberger.