MLB HOT STOVE ACTION

-Caught in the mess of the whole John Smoltz leaving Atlanta to go play for the Sux I forgot to mention that my other favorite team, the Baltimore Orioles, have agreed to a contract with Japanese pitcher Koji Uehara. Koji will be the #2 starter for the Orioles behind Jeremy Guthrie because the Orioles lack in proven starters but I think this is an excellent signing. The 33 year old has dominated MLB All-Stars in the past and throws strikes and rarely walks people. If you watched the Orioles pitching last year the one thing they couldn't do was throw strikes. I'm hearing the contract is guaranteed $10 million with incentives that could bring it up to $16 million. This is an excellent value for a guy like Uehara whom most major league hitters haven't seen and should be pretty successful his first season in Baltimore. He has a nasty forkball that dips in to right hand hitters and away from left handed hitters and his career strike out to walk ratio is an outstanding 7 to 1. He is the first Japanese player signed by the Orioles (last team in the AL East to do it) and it should help open up the doors for the O's in the Asian market. Of course I could come up with some Japanese jokes right now but since we have a Jap pitching for us now I don't think it would be appropriate for me to say I hope he screams Bonsai as soon as he unleashes a fastball into Mark Teixeira's neck. Here is some video of Uehara making fools of MLB stars like Barry Bonds and Jason Giambi...


-In other depressing news for a veteran ballplayer who will look weird in a different uniform comes the Trevor Hoffman signing in Milwaukee. Hells Bells will now go from sunny and beautiful San Diego to the harsh climate and bitter cold of Milwaukee. This is an excellent signing for the Brewers because Hoffman converted 30 of 34 saves last year for the Padres and despite losing Sabathia and Sheets they still have a chance to compete for the Wild Card. Still, it won't seem right to see Hoffman in any other uniform but the Padres. Besides Tony Gwynn I consider Hoffman the greatest Padre and he is a sure thing for the Hall of Fame.

-The Red Sox signed Rocco Baldelli. The guy has all the talent in the world but he can't stay healthy. He won't be asked to play everyday in Boston and is looked at as more of a luxury bench player in the way the Smoltz signing come about. Baldelli has played less than a 160 games combined the last 3 seasons but he grew up a Red Sox fan and took little money from what I hear for a one year contract with the chance to prove himself. At only 27 years old he could still develop into a steal for the Red Sox.

-The Atlanta Braves have turned their attention to free agent pitcher Derek Lowe. I could get excited about this but then I remembered the Braves have pretty much swung and missed all offseason trying to acquire more talent and Lowe and his agent are probably just using the Braves to get more money out of the Mets or some other team where he will eventually sign. How did the Braves become the laughingstock of baseball so fast? Oh yeah, Frank Fucking Wren. He managed to fuck the Orioles and now he figured why not throw another dagger into my emotions and go to the Braves and totally screw them for a few years.