WHAT IN THE HELL IS JERRY RICE WEARING?

In between watching the Atlanta Hawks get run all over by King James in the playoffs and viewing the Braves lose yet again to the lowly stinkin' Mets I somehow managed to "accidentally" flip on ABC. And what do you fucking know it's "Dancing with the C-list Stars" on and my jaw literally dropped, hit the floor, came back up and kicked me in the nuts before I laughed out loud.... "WHAT THE FUCK IS JERRY RICE WEARING?" I finally found a clip of it so you can see the NFL Hall of Famer making a complete and utter ass of himself on national television. Fast forward to the 3:20 mark of the video...

They call it "Dance Center" but I call it "Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity Center" hosted by Kenny Mayne. I know they were going for comedy but this is ABC. I honestly can't remember the last funny thing I saw on ABC other than the Presidential debates. Seriously Jerry, what the hell are you doing? I know that 80% of NFL players go broke within 10 years of retirement but the greatest receiver of all-time can't be hurting this bad for cash. Can he? I was just waiting for him to stand up and reveal the assless chaps he was no doubt wearing with two cartoon faces of Joe Montana and Steve Young on each cheek.

Not that there is anything wrong with that kind of behavior mind ya (covering my gay hate mail).