GOOD BYE DOUCHEBAG

Gammons is leaving ESPN to pursue other things like sucking off Derek Jeter while he fondles Dustin Pedroia's balls according to the StarTribune.com...

Said Norby Williamson, ESPN executive vice president, production: "As a print journalist moving to television, Peter was a pioneer who became a Hall of Famer. His contributions to ESPN will never be forgotten. We're sad to see Peter go, but understand his desire for new challenges and a less demanding schedule."

Said Gammons: “My decision to leave ESPN and move on at this point in my life has been conflicted. I owe a great deal of my professional life to ESPN, having spent more than half of my 40 years in journalism working for the network, and the choice to move on was made with nothing but the strongest feelings for the people with whom I worked. ESPN gave me a great deal more than I gave it, and will always be a huge part of who I am."

Good riddance. Now maybe I will start watching ESPN's baseball coverage again. Nah. Why Gammons is a Hall of Famer blows my mind! The guy hasn't had a major scoop in the last 20 years yet everyone listens to his opinion like it actually means something. His analysis and predictions are so fucking bad you would think somebody would call him out for the stuttering, spitting idiot he has always been. He once said Bobby fucking Crosby would be the MVP. He told us that Kelly Johnson is going to be the next great Braves hitter. He never broke a steroid story in baseball because he had his head to far up Roger Clemen's ass to actually smell the dripping leakage of cheating.

I don't get why this guy was ever loved by people. He sucked at his job. If only all of us could be so lucky to go lick the player's association manbags for 20 years and not break anything actually factual or without bias and get paid to do it. Only in America can a guy like Gammons exist.

Be sure to leave your number on Andy Pettitte's nightstand before you leave Gammons. I wouldn't expect anything less.