MANTI TE'O PICKS NOTRE DAME!!!!

Hell yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Manti Te'o is Irish baby!!!!!!!!! Suck it USC!!!!!!



Get ready Notre Dame fans to see 4 years of kickass linebackers in Manti, Zeke Motta, Dan Fox, and Carlo Calabrese.

FLORIDA LB FRANKIE TELFORT PICKS USC

Pete Carroll snags one out of Florida in OLB Frankie Telfort. Hopefully this helps Notre Dame's chances with Manti Te'o. Please baby Jesus I hope.

JELANI JENKINS PICKS FLORIDA

In my opinion LB Jelani Jenkins is the best player in this class. He has speed, size, and he loves to destroy the opposition. Urban Meyer got a great one in Jenkins who should be in the two deep next season in Gainesville. It's refreshing to hear a kid who is well spoken and congratulates and acknowledges all the schools who recruited him instead of pissing on them on a national stage. Get ready to hear a lot about Jelani as the SEC conference again gets another spectacular player...

DARREN MYLES JR. PICKS TENNESSEE

One of Atlanta's own in safety Darren Myles Jr. has decided to leave the comforts of peaches and peanuts for Dollywood. SEC fans should be on the look out for Lane Kiffin and his posse of recruit stealers. Kiffin apparently knows how to close in the same sense as Pete Carroll when it comes to recruits. Florida and UGA fans sweat while shaking their heads...

LSU ADDS TO IT'S TALENT IN MONTGOMERY

One of the top defensive linemen in the country, Sam Montgomery, has decided to go to LSU where he will play his next 3 seasons before being a first round draft pick. He will get bigger, stronger, and faster in Baton Rouge in a class that is more than likely going to have the best class in the nation when all is said and done. The running theme of the day is "the rich get richer!"

JEFFREY LOVES TO KEEP HIS COCK FREE OF TROJANS

WR Alshon Jeffrey decided to go to the shitty USC in Columbia and renegade on his long standing commitment to hookers and blow in LA. Jeffrey is one of the top wide receivers in the nation and should major in mediocrity in the SEC. I'm happy the Trojans and Pete Carroll lost one here but I do think it is shitty to switch your commitment the day of signing day. It's not like you just wake up from a dream of naked Southern Cal chicks and say "I love Cock!" At least I hope not.

BYRON MOORE GOING TO USC

Talk about an incredibly lame declaration on ESPNU, safety Byron Moore decided to go back to USC by tossing Colorado and Notre Dame hats on the ground. Fight on. Cheat on. Whatever you want to call it but there is no doubt that the stinking Trojans got a really good player in Moore. It seems Moore was more confused than a kid seeing his first pubic hair at the press conference.

HOOKERS AND BLOW MY FRIENDS. FIGHT ON!

RECRUITING CHAOS STARTS TOMORROW MORNING

I will be here all day to blog about the latest "I can't believe that fucking douchebag kid went to that school" and offer my analysis on "well, he wasn't really that good" and "his parents made him go to that school" and "I heard he has genital warts and the cream at USC is the best, thus the decision." I will be drinking beer like high school kids do when they are not hitting the bong ala Michael Phelps all day so it could get chaotic, mean, and ugly. You should be here starting at 8 am and never leave.

To give you a little taste of what National Signing Day for high school football is like at Sportscrack I present the case of LB Vontaze Burfict. Vontaze is a top 10 overall player in the nation who has been committed to USC (the real one, not the fake one in Columbia) since his junior season. Well word on the streets of LA is that Burfict is now going to Arizona State to be with his friends and slay killer Sun Devil poon. And the mighty Trojans don't lose players the calibre of Burfict the night before National Signing Day. Let's just say that their fans haven't taken it well...

To live or die in South Central, the choice is yours Manti, Byron, and Jawanza. 40 year decision or Valtrex? Crazy horny catholic girls or Pete Carroll's dead hookers? Seems pretty simple to me.

Georgia player of the year Greg Reid gave a giant FU to Knowshon Moreno's #24 that he was promised from Mark Richt and instead decided to go with the Criminoles. This proves that old man river can still recruit and convince kids that should be his great grandchildren that he still can get them to the NFL. Dag gummit them.

PITTSBURGH STEELERS SUPER BOWL 43 XLIII MINI HELMETS, REPLICA FULL SIZE AND AUTHENTIC HELMETS FOR SALE

We got some of these cool, brand new Pittsburgh Steelers Super Bowl 43 Champion mini helmets in stock for the low price of $25. They retail for $35 at most on-line stores. Be sure to spread the word to any Steelers fans out there about these one of a kind official NFL Super Bowl 43 XLIII mini helmets. They should sell out quickly.

We also have the full size replicas for $100 and the Authentic Pro Lines, the same ones they wear on the field for $200.

SANTONIO HOLMES TECMO BOWL TD CATCH

An FYI for all old school Tecmo Bowl fans. If you have a Wii you can download the original Tecmo Bowl on to your system for only $5 through a WIFI connection. You can run sprints down the sidelines with Bo Jackson and Walter Payton all over again. Or throw deep to Jerry Rice. I highly recommend it. It brings back a lot of memories. The 16 bit games were so much more simpler as was life back when we were kids. I'm hoping they will bring back NHL 93. I used to score at will with Jeremy Roenick in that game and the fact that you could make players bleed will never get old. If you don't remember the game then your childhood sucked. Here is a great scene from Swingers...

MICHAEL PHELPS: AN AMERICAN BONG HERO

This picture was supposedly taken at some party Michael Phelps attended near the University of South Carolina. Looks like he is having a hell of a time. See kids, with the right amount of rips off a bong you too can become a famous world class athlete with tons of gold medals. Or you can deal drugs and become a Super Bowl MVP. Saying no is for pussies. Just ask Michael Phelps and Santonio Holmes.

And before you get your panties in a bunch Michael Phelps came out yesterday and confirmed it is him in the picture. That what us Maryland boys do. Crabcakes and bongs!

THE TWO BEST SUPER BOWL COMMERCIALS

All of the other ones sucked balls. I am especially disappointed in the Budweiser marketing people. I don't give a rat's ass about some stinking horses guys! Anyways, here they are...



And this one was okay for Bud Light...


I think it's time to bring back Bud Bowl for the halftime show. I had no interest in watching Bruce Springsteen along with everybody else who grew up outside of the northeast.

UPDATE: I forgot about this E Trade talking baby commercial. It must have been the booze. It makes me forget shit like where did I hide my gun and who am I going to pin the murder on this time. I love drinking....



Am I forgetting any other commercials? If I am please be a dick and tell me what I missed on my list of best commercials in the comment section.

FROM DRUG DEALER TO SUPER BOWL MVP

Only in America can a guy who once dealt rock as a kid to buy the coolest Nike shoes back in the day go from that to making one of the greatest catches in Super Bowl history. Santonio Holmes is your Super Bowl MVP after last night's performance...

You couldn't have asked for a better game. I found myself rooting for the Arizona Cardinals and Kurt Warner last night because it seemed like every single call in the first 3 quarters went against them. They literally couldn't catch a break even when James Harrison had the interception returned for a TD at the end of the first half. If his knee goes down half a foot before he falls down then it is no touchdown and the Cardinals probably win the game. The running into the place kick holder and the unnecessary roughness on Big Ben were bullshit calls in my book but it goes to show you that the Cardinals were in fact a great team to come back and compete in this game. Big Ben is now a top 3 QB in the NFL and Warner is a for sure Hall of Famer as well as Big Ben. It goes to show you how much these games mean.

So now that football is officially done we have to look forward to this Wednesday for National Signing Day. Then we wait for college spring practice which is always a point of optimism going into the 2009 season. And then we are fucked till Fall unless you are a baseball fan like I am. Because who watches basketball or hockey anymore? Do they even play? I guess I will have to start paying attention to these things.

THIS SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL IS A LITTLE SUGGESTIVE

Don't ya think?....



"Mommy, why are those balloons wrestling?"

WOMEN DRIVERS

Listen, I'm not going to go in a long rant about some female drivers because at the end of the rant I will look like a sexist, racist-like Ashton Kutcher bitching about his neighbors construction.

So instead I will let the video do the talking:


I literally laughed so hard when the lady flipped her car I started choking and coughing. Great stuff.

Video HT: Elizabeth

MANTI TE'O WILL BE IRISH

Notre Dame has a recent history of being burned pretty badly when it comes to football recruits making their college decision come signing day. I could go through the list but it just brings up bad memories of what if's and why not's. Charlie Weis and his staff have put in an all out effort to recruit Hawaii LB Manti Te'o who could conceviably step in and start right away for programs such as ND and USC. Te'o is a devout Mormon who surprisingly eliminated BYU last week and will now make his decision between ND, USC, and UCLA. Weis has personally visited Te'o for in-home visit a few weeks ago and this week defensive coordinator Corwin Brown and Brian Polian also made the long flight to Te'o's home to review the benefits of choosing Notre Dame.

The Fighting Irish even played in front of Te'o during the Hawaii Bowl and put on quite a show and apparently the word is that Te'o is interested in going on his own path and trying new things. In a perfect USC world Te'o would no doubt be theirs to have. They call him Baby Seau and he reminds people a lot of LB Rey Maualuga who will be a top 15 draft pick in this April's NFL draft. But I have a good feeling that Notre Dame will land the five star linebacker even after he takes his last official visit to USC this weekend.

At USC he would become just another linebacker but at Notre Dame he would become a legend if he lives up to his prep hype. Notre Dame has not had a dominant All-American linebacker since Michael Stonebreaker was getting in fights with Hurricanes. Don't even bring up Courtney Watson or Kory Minor's name. Yes, they were good. But not great. And Te'o has the ability and the attitude to be a great one. The fact that Notre Dame is still in the running for Te'o speaks volumes in the staff's recruiting ability. Te'o has made one official visit to Notre Dame and can you guess the game?

Syracuse. They lost to a fucking horrible Syracuse team in a game full of snow and bad weather and it was Te'o first experience in the snow. It was also his only experience to see the Notre Dame campus and take it in. Growing up in Hawaii the chances of you seeing snow are about the same as Charlie drinking a Diet Coke and losing to stinking Syracuse. So the fact that they still remain in contention only goes to show you how good the staff is at selling Notre Dame.

And that is why I think Notre Dame will get Te'o signature next Wednesday. Weis has gone above and beyond in his recruitment while nursing two torn knees. You can't tell me that doesn't factor in a recruit's mind when he sees a hurting, gimpy coach flying thousands of miles with two bum knees just so he can sell him on the Fighting Irish.

Te'o will be Irish. Mark it down.

SUPER BOWL 43 ODDS FROM CARL

God have I missed Carl. The man basically got me through the NFL season last year with his upper arm hair and his dry witty humor. Carl for Aqua Force Teen Hunger whatever the fuck you want to call it should have his own show. Primetime on Fox. Right before American Idol. Let's make this happen.

Odds of it happening: 0.
Odds of Matt Leinart passing out drunk and wetting his pants at a Saturday night party before the big game: 50/50
Odds that I have done the same exact thing as Leinart: 100

Via WithLeather via AdultSwim

ARIZONA CARDINALS VS PITTSBURGH STEELERS BODY PAINT

Forget Super Bowl 43, the real winner is the guy who got to videotape these two ladies body painting themselves. So who would you pick to win after watching this video? Personally I would go Steelers but the Cardinals make a hell of a case. The guy behind the camera sounds like the guy at the mall who comes up to talk to you, acts all friendly, tries to make conversation and then hits you up with the "So have you found Jesus Christ in your life?"

Video HT: FanDome

SIDNEY CROSBY'S BACKHANDED GOAL

They don't get much prettier than this...

I haven't been talking much hockey this year because my Atlanta Thrashers are one of the worst teams in the NHL. Not just on the ice but off it. They should have fired GM Don Waddell years ago but somehow he still has a job even though the franchise has yet to win a single playoff game since he started the first roster from scratch back in 1999. He is a joke and should have been pushed out of the city as fast as Michael Vick was last year. But rant aside this is a nasty goal by Sidney Crosby past Lundquist of the Rangers. If Crosby was a Thrasher he would have been traded for Marian Hossa. Fuck!

A SIGN THAT BASEBALL IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER

Touch it to enlarge it. Tell me you haven't heard that before.

This picture was taken right outside of the new Busch Stadium in St. Louis. I think they are ready for some baseball. I'm getting in the spirit too as the Orioles and Braves have both made some good offseason moves recently and should be fun to watch at least for the first half of the season.

Picture HT: Deadspin