Texas A&M Makes a Fitting Tribute Video for Johnny Manziel Titled "Thank You Johnny Football"

I'm not even going to lie.  College football is a lot more boring without Johnny Fucking Football.  Whether you love him or hate him you gotta at least respect his "on the field" game.  Manziel can flat out ball.  I think I'm in the minority of people who think he will succeed at the next level.  Johnny just has it.  And by it I mean chlamydia, gonorrhea, and HPV.  In all seriousness Johnny is a leader and a college football legend.  The Aggies were just a run of the mill Big 12 team before Johnny came along. In two seasons he almost took them to the mountaintop of the SEC by himself.  If the Aggies had any defense we would be talking about Manziel as the best player since Herschel.  That's not hyperbole.  It's the truth.  Plus Manziel is as much a player off the field as he is on it.  He's the new Joe Namath without the porn stache.  I'm sure the notches on his belt in College Station were legendary and one can only imagine what kind of pull he will have in a new NFL city.  He's going to be a top 10 pick and part of me wishes my Atlanta Falcons would trade Matt Ryan for draft picks, draft Johnny, and grab some defensive studs with a late first/early 2nd round.  I want the JFF show to come to Atlanta permanently.  He's got more talent than Ryan and a hell of a lot more personality.

As a college football I want to Thank You Johnny Football.  College football needs polarizing figures like Manziel because lightning only strikes so often.  You gotta enjoy the spark while it lasts because before you know it it will be gone.

Blast From The Past: Chicks Dig The Long Ball Commercial Featuring Hall of Famers Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine

In the end Atlanta Braves teammates Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine got the last laugh.  Hall of Fame Bitch!  Where you at Big Mac?  Probably crying in your pillowcase filled with Heather Locklear's gray pubes.

By the way where the hell was Smoltzie?  He must not have been a Nike guy.  It's the only thing I can figure out.  As great as Maddux and Glavine were the one pitcher you wanted on the mound for Game 7 was Smoltz.  It's not even a question.  Smoltzie will get his Hall of Fame plaque next year along with the Big Unit and Pedro.

Video of FSU Football Team Return To Tallahassee Makes Me Hate Them Even More

Is it just me or does it look like when FSU gets off the bus they just lost the game?  Jesus Christ guys you could at least smile and thank the fans a little bit.  You just won a fucking National Championship!

Jameis didn't rape anybody on the bus did he?  Bad Jameis.  Bad Bad.  Now go to your room.

What a bunch of entitled pussies!  They could give two shits about their fans chanting like Seminole savages and cheering them on as they are welcomed home.  Nope.  They just want to get their paycheck and call it a day.

I didn't think it was at all possible but now I feel bad for FSU fans.  At least other schools players have an appreciation for them.  It's like they went to go pick up their girlfriend at the airport only to find out she brought back her "friend" who's been nailing her on the side.  These FSU players look like they just found out Santa wasn't real.

Maybe they are just still in shock they beat a SEC school.  Yeah that must be it.  Fuckers.

The Worst Bad Beats of the 2013 College Football Season

Only degenerates like myself would understand the pain of what this feels like when you have a bet that's going to pay off only for it to be jerked away from the hands of a bookie.  This 2013 College Football season was especially painful.  Those mortal locks we thought were 99.999% fool proof slipped through the cracks.  It can take the pleasure of a victory away when your team doesn't cover the shitty 7 points it needed but instead won on a last second field goal.  Sweet we won but I also lost my hookers and blow retainer.

Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine and Frank Thomas Elected To Baseball Hall of Fame

Congratulations to Atlanta Braves teammates Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine along with Chicago White Sox slugger Frank "Big Hurt" Thomas for being elected first ballot to Cooperstown. All 3 of these guys deserved to be elected and were all clean of PEDs in my opinion. I of course have fond memories of Maddux and Glavine growing up in Atlanta in the 90's with those two along with the greatest Atlanta Braves pitcher in my mind John Smoltz forming a ridiculous rotation at the top for Bobby Cox's crew. The Big Hurt was one of my favorite players who didn't wear a Braves or Orioles uniform and I can still remember meeting him as a kid and getting his autograph. The Big Guy was one of the nicer guys I've met along with Ozzie, Cal and Smoltzie.


PS if anybody doesn't think Craig Biggio did steroids along with Jeff Bagwell then I'm sorry but you are either a blind Houston Astros fan or an idiot. It wouldn't have bothered me too much if Biggio got in because he has never tested positive but the eye test doesn't lie. Biggio only fell a couple of votes short of election so there's a good chance he gets in next year.


The three elected join managers Bobby Cox, Joe Torre, and Tony LaRussa as the first 6 living inductees since 1971. Odds are LaRussa will bring one of his cats to give his HOF speech.

We Brought Back A Classic Design...The Shamrock Series 5 REDEMPTION Navy Shirt!

What's new is old and what's old is new.

This classic design called the "Shamrock 5 Series" shirt brings back a ton of fond memories for us.  We came up with this design back when we started SportsCrack in 2005.  Now after a tough 2013 season we are looking for REDEMPTION in 2014.

What better way than to bring back #5 to save the day?  Bigger, tougher, stronger and ready to show the world 2012 was no fluke.

Get the one and only Shamrock 5 Redemption shirt today!

Brent Musburger Brought His A Game Last Night, Introduced Himself as Kirk Herbstreit

Do Lee Corso, Lou Holtz, Verne Lundquist, and Brent Musburger all have the same agent?  All 4 of these college football horses should have been put out to pasture years ago yet here they are...still fucking up on national television.   Granted I love them all and television is entertainment so I can see why TV execs continue to push them on the viewers.  I'm just wondering when one of them will show up in nothing but ladies underwear, jacking it on live television after an all night blow fest.  Don't laugh.  It's going to happen.  My money is on Corso.  He looks like a blow and hookers type of guy.

Red Lightning Was Certifiable Cougar Bait Last Night

“@SBNationCFB: #unconquered RT @_WSBG: Red Lightning living pic.twitter.com/eC5SJDKW2V” he's cougar bait
— SportsCrack Apparel (@sportscrack) January 7, 2014

Arguably who is more famous right now: Jameis Winston or Red Lightning?

Well it's obviously Jameis since he has a Heisman Trophy and now a National Championship after last night.  But Red Lightning is creeping up real quickly.  That curly haired freckled ginger snap is all the rage right now.  And as you can see from last night he played the victim of Cougar bait.  His shirt wide open Miami Vice style while the cougars swarm in by the smell of his red pubes.  He's simply irresistible.  Red Lightning is a Dos Equis commercial come to life.  God speed bro!  Conquer the night you soul less spawn of Devil semen you...

Does The "99" Tattoo on Paulina Gretzky Qualify as a Tramp Stamp?

Granted the Great One's daughter didn't get his famous number "99" tattooed above her ass in the time honored traditional spot for a tramp stamp but does the left hip qualify as the minor leagues of tramp stamps?  Maybe I need to ask Wayne what he thinks.  He must be honored.  Also I think Joe Cool lost a couple of his toes inside her bottom.  Chances are 99% of men have lost stuff in there.

FSU FLORIDA STATE SEMINOLES 2013 Limited Edition BCS National Champs Wilson Official Leather F1005 Football

Congratulations go out to the Florida State Seminoles for ending the SEC run of dominance last night with an amazing come from behind victory in Pasadena!

We are getting 5 of these limited edition footballs in stock direct from Wilson.

2013 Limited Edition FSU Seminoles BCS National Champs Official Wilson NCAA Leather Football.

Pre-order today. 

Expected Ship date Feb 6th.

All of this product is Made in the USA from start to finish.
The Official Football of the NCAA®.
Official size and weight.
Top quality leather cover.

Tim Tebow's ESPN Debut Was Not Gay At All

Good lord Jesse Palmer why don't you just get on your knees and suck him off while you are at it.  There is a good reason why Tim Tebow is a virgin.  His "homeostasis" radar is through the roof.  You went to your hotel room and had a circle jerk for 3 hours Tebow?  That's nice but please don't share that story ever again.  I need to go take a cold shower now because Tebow was straight fire.

By the way does anybody really think Auburn has a chance tonight?  On paper it looks like a total mismatch vs FSU but then again all 4 of the BCS games have been won by the underdog.  UCF was a 17 pt dog to Baylor and crushed them.  Oklahoma was a 16.5 point dog to Bama and throttled Saban and his crew.  Sparty was a touchdown dog to the Nerds and won the Rose Bowl.  And last but not least Clemson was 3 pt dogs to Ohio State and won the Orange Bowl.  So could Auburn pull a huge upset as 10 point dogs in Pasadena?  I just don't see it.  But then again no one thought War Eagle would even be near this game after a disastrous 3-9 season.

I just want to see a good game and see who Brent Musberger undresses with his eyes and words while giving so and so's girlfriend her long awaited 15 minutes of fame.  My money is on Johnny Football's latest road beef, Lauren Hanley.

Charlie Strong Rides Into Austin Blazing Saddles Style

LSU freek nailed this one directly on the head.  Hilarious.  Texas fans were hoping for Jim Harbaugh only to be disappointed with Charlie Strong when he rides in "Blazing Saddles."

In all seriousness this is a home run hire for Texas.  Strong is a great coach as well as recruiter who has tremendous ties in the state of Florida.  He crushed it in Louisville leading them to two bowl victories with beat downs against Florida and Miami with more talent than his Cardinals team.  Now imagine what he can do with Texas and their resources.

Brand new Don't Mess With Strong vintage style t-shirts are now available for PRE ORDER here.

According to Bruce Feldman Paul Johnson Wants Out of GA Tech

Word is #GaTech coach Paul Johnson is not happy with the school. Hopes they buy him out, according to a source.
— Bruce Feldman (@BFeldmanCBS) January 3, 2014

I actually think it's the other way around at this point.  Georgia Tech is not happy with Paul Johnson.  After Johnson blew a two-touchdown lead to rival Georgia at home and then shit the bed in the bowl game vs Ole Miss I think we could all see that the Johnson triple-option era is about to come to a crashing halt.

Starting QB Vad Lee has already stated he is transferring.

Johnson doesn't recruit and doesn't sell the program.

If he was winning 9 plus games a season he could get away with his surly attitude but he does not.  Georgia Tech is still the same 7-5 team they were when Chan Gailey was roaming The Flats sideline.

It's not good enough and Johnson needs to go.  The problem is Tech doesn't want to buy out the contract.  Johnson is under contract until 2016 after signing an extension in 2009.

If you were GT AD Mike Bobinski what would you do?

LSUfreek Chimes in with this Sugar Bowl GIF

Bob Stoops knocking it out of the park.  Even Nick Saban saw it coming and couldn't do shit about it.

Bama Got Their Ass Kicked By Oklahoma...Fan Brawls in Stand

Go home Bama.  You're drunk.

2 game losing streak and this is how their loyal fan base reacts.  Round house kicks from drunk moms in the stands.  On the bright side I think Nick Saban finally found his kicker.

PAROLE TIDE!!!!!!

#1 Recruit Leonard Fournette Commits to "University of LSU"

#1 prospect Leonard Fournette is one of those rare athletes who plays football and only football.  Education be damn.  I don't know how well he will fit in at the "University of LSU" with all their scholars.  I feel bad for the kid with all the tutors writing his papers and filling out his tests while building up his draft stock in 3 seasons in Baton Rouge.  Rough life.  Hopefully he gets paid while he is there.  Luckily he choose a conference in the SEC which values education over cheating.

Wisconsin Badgers React To Randall Cobb's Game Winning Touchdown

The Wisconsin Badgers football team got together yesterday to watch the Bears-Packers game and as you can see the reactions were mixed.  And by mixed I mean the one dejected Badger in the Bears Matt Forte jersey who simply spiked his water bottle while the rest of his teammates wildly celebrated the improbable Randall Cobb touchdown catch.

A.J. McCarron's Dad is Definitely Smashing Katherine Webb

Look at that sinister grin on A.J. McCarron's dad's face.  High ball in one hand, other hand on his son's girlfriend's leg.  And Katherine Webb is pulling him in while you know he is elbow deep into her.  Yup.  Fucking Dad stole Horseface McGee right from under his tattoo riddled ass.  What...a...boss!

I think Dad even has one of A.J.'s championship rings on his leg grabbing hand.  Scandalous behavior down in Bama.

Chip Kelly Has a Simple Plan on Offense: "Fucking Score Points!"

Simple.  Concise.  Eloquent.  All of these words describe Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly's explanation to WR Riley Cooper here.

2014 NFL Mock Draft

With college football season basically done till the meaningless bowls kick in early January it's time to turn my attention on one of my favorite national past times: NFL mock draft.  With my Atlanta Falcons shitting the proverbial bed this season I have been eagerly awaiting the draft since they lost to the lowly New York Jets on Monday Night back in September.  Of course I can't factor in trades that will be made between now and then so if this mock is even 10% correct it's a huge accomplishment.   It's basically on par with SEC "student"-athlete conference test grades.

1.  Houston Texans - The Texans need a quarterback.  In a quarterback driven league they currently don't have one.  Matt Schaub is done.  And the other what's his fucking name blows.   So it comes down to who the Texans with a new coach thinks is the best pro prospect behind center.  Most people think it's Teddy Bridgewater.  I don't think he's worth the risk.  Some others think the Texans take the ultimate risk and go Johnny Manziel.  Not going to happen unless they trade down.  I think when all the dust settles with the combines and scouting reports the pick will be....Fresno State QB Derek Carr.

2. St. Louis Rams - The Rams also need a QB but aren't going to draft one.  Why?  Because they still owe #1 bust Sam Bradford $30 million over the next two seasons.  They are going to ride it out with him.  They don't need defensive ends with Robert Quinn and Chris Long having solid seasons.  More than likely they will look to trade down.  They gotta protect Bradford so my guess with the pick is Texas A&M Jake Matthews.

3. Jax Jaguars - The Jags are taking a QB.  Louisville's Teddy Bridgewater makes the most sense.  I haven't been impressed with his play this season but then again his offensive line hasn't been helping him.  This is a BOOM or BUST pick.

4. Oakland Raiders - The Raiders also need a QB but won't take one.  They always take the shiniest toy in the box.  The toy this year is Jadaveon Clowney.  He may not play wideout but once Clowney gets all that bonus money he's likely to play left out with his non motor.

5. Cleveland Browns - Could we possible have 3 QBs taken in the top 5?  Yes.  The Browns don't have a star at the position and have been desperate to get one for the past 20 years.  Johnny Manziel will sell tickets but is too big of a wildcard to put the franchise shoulders on.  Instead they will go with Central Florida's Blake Bortles.  The only two things I know about Bortles is he somehow led UCF to a BCS Bowl and more importantly his girlfriend is smoking hot.

6. Atlanta Falcons - The Falcons are doing their best to fuck up a top pick by winning meaningless games but luckily the NFL is so devoid of star QBs it won't hurt them.  With Matt Ryan they don't need one so they get their shot at the third best non QB in the draft.  And if the dominoes fall correctly they get the best one in my opinion in UCLA LB Anthony Barr.  Barr is the next Von Miller and will be a superstar in Atlanta.

7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - The Bucs are bound to do something stupid here.  They aren't going to take a QB because the kid they got from NC State is doing a decent job.  So scratch Johnny Football.  Instead they will go with a receiver.  Clemson's Sammy Watkins is the pick.

8.  Minnesota Vikings - The Mr. Samantha Ponder experiment is over.  Now it's the Johnny Football show!  I can't wait to see what sort of hijinks Manziel gets into in Minnesota.  By the way I love this pick.  I think Manziel can succeed in the NFL.

9. Buffalo Bills - Buffalo still has a team?  I guess you learn something new every day.  The Bills need linemen to protect E.J. Manuel.  My guess is they take Alabama's Cyrus Kouandijo.  With the pick they will introduce a fun new drinking game in Buffalo called "say Cyrus what's his name" 5 straight times without slurring.

10. Tennessee Titans - The Titans need a QB but who do you take?  They can probably get a Tajh Boyd or Aaron Murray type in the 2-4th rounds.  Nobody worth taking a risk here.  So you gotta go with the sure thing.  Notre Dame's Louis Nix is the next great NFL defensive tackle.  Titans are lucky to get their hands on some Irish Chocolate.

11. New York Giants - The Giants need defensive help bad.  So you gotta go with the best talent here because they are deficient in all three levels.  Alabama's C.J. Mosley would be my pick.

12. Pittsburgh Steelers - Feels weird to say this but the Steelers have a lot of holes.  You might as well take the best talent.  I say they go Texas A&M WR Mike Evans.  Roethlisberger could use another target to make unwanted sexual advances with...I mean throw the ball to.

13.  New York Jets - The Jets could use a hybrid DE/OLB since their interior is really good.  Buffalo's Khalil Mack makes the most sense.

14.  St. Louis Rams - Even though the Rams took Jake Matthews with the #2 pick they go offensive tackle again and take Auburn's Greg Robinson.  The hope is one of them pans out.

15.  Detroit Lions - Would the Lions go wide receiver here again?  Not likely with Watkins and Evans off the board.  If they are available then I could see them getting a WR.  Instead they go with a local college product in Michigan State CB Darqueze Denard.

16.  Dallas Cowboys - The Cowboys defense is atrocious.  It's beyond repair right now.  Getting Sean Lee back will help and getting a decent corner would also help tremendously.  They take Oregon CB Ifo Ekpre-Olomu.

17.  Baltimore Ravens - Joe Flacco could use some more targets to throw to but Ozzie Newsome is never the type of GM to pass on the biggest talent.  This year it is Notre Dame defensive end Stephon Tuitt.

18.  San Diego Chargers - Staying on the West Coast is USC's Marqise Lee.  Philip Rivers needs more weapons and Lee should be at least a good #2 receiver his rookie season.

19.  Chicago Bears - I don't see the Bears letting Jay Cutler walk away in free agency.  They have never had a good QB so I don't see why they would let even a decent to good one like Cutler leave and start all over.  The Bears need defensive help.  They can't stop the run.  They also have the worst safeties in the NFL.  Alabama's Ha Ha Clinton-Dix has star potential and is the pick here.

20.  Green Bay Packers - The Packers would be wise to trade down if possible because one of their big needs is a tight end.  At 20 it's too high to take one especially since none of them are superstars but if they do take one at this position I would go with North Carolina's Eric Ebron.

21.  Miami Dolphins -  The Dolphins took a Michigan left tackle a few years ago in Jake Long and continue the tradition with Taylor Lewan.   Hopefully this one pans out for them.

22.  Philadelphia Eagles - Philly needs help in the secondary.  Unfortunately the best players are already gone.  Maybe Philly will be looking to trade up but if not we got to go with Ohio State's cornerback Bradley Roby.

23.  Cleveland Browns - The Browns got this pick from the Colts in the Trent Richardson trade.  With their first pick I had them taking QB Bortles so he will need some protection up front.  Baylor guard Cyril Richardson would be a perfect fit.

24.  Cincinnati Bengals -  They need more help at the outside linebacker position.  Clemson's OLB Vic Beasley should fit in nicely.

25.  New Orleans Saints -  The Saints have plenty of offensive weapons but could use some help on the defensive side of the ball.  Ohio State OLB Ryan Shazier has great instincts and a knack for finding the ball.

26.  Arizona Cardinals -  The Cardinals could take a gamble on a QB late here but I doubt they would take either one of Tajh Boyd or Aaron Murray this high.  Instead they go safe here and take an offensive lineman.  It's somewhat surprising he dropped this far but FSU's OT Cameron Erving could be a steal this late.

27.  Carolina  Panthers -  Cam needs weapons.  Steve Smith is old and Ted Ginn is just a punt returner.  FSU's Kelvin Benjamin has superstar potential if he can get rid of the butterfingers.

28.  Kansas City Chiefs - Chiefs are also looking for receivers.  Penn State's Allen Robinson seems to be the best left on the board at this point.

29.  New England Patriots - With Gronk down with a busted knee and Aaron Hernandez gone for life in jail the Patriots need another tight end for Tom Brady at the end of  his career.  Texas Tech's Jace Amaro should be declaring for the draft and would be a great fit in New England.

30.  San Francisco 49ers - They stick with the M.O and go with the best corner left with Oklahoma State CB Justin Gilbert.

31.  Denver Broncos -  They need a pass rusher at either DE or OLB.  At this point the best available is Missouri's DE Kony Ealy.

32.  Seattle Seahawks - Seattle needs help on both lines but in the end it comes to protecting your most valuable asset: Russell Wilson.  Notre Dame offensive tackle Zach Martin didn't allow a sack all season.