Hey next time asshole you might not try to run across with red fucking pants on! Just a thought. I think that's basic bull fighting 101 right there. Don't wear red pants and/or stop right in front of running bull only to get your head knocked off. This was on par for my Friday and Sunday night. Riding high Friday night with the Orioles about to take game 1 in their series vs the Skankees only to give up a 3 run walk off to Carlos Beltran. Then Sunday you might have heard about the USA choking against Portugal with less than 10 seconds left in stoppage time thanks to Michael Bradley's latest gaffe. All things considered I'll take being a disgruntled sports fan over being this dead guy.
Via BarStoolSports
If I was 24-years-old and had been playing golf my entire life while being dubbed the ladies version of Tiger Woods and had yet to win a major despite turning pro at 13 you can sure as hell bet I would be getting shit faced like Michelle Wie here. Wie filled her trophy up with some tasty cold beer and then chugged that shit like it was the Stanley Cup. And to top it off she did some drunk twerking which can't be easy for a girl who is over 6 feet tall. Wie can drink for my team any day!
I could watch this all day and still never stop laughing. It's just so perfect with Jim Ross doing the play-by-play of some asshole drunk on the street stumbling and face planting directly into the road. The guy's face almost exploded. "That's it he's dead!"
You can often see how much a human being had an impact on the world after they leave the living world. On Monday Tony Gwynn left at the young age of 54 due to complications from cancer. He left a legacy. Everybody has nothing but kind words for Mr. Padre. He was an institution in San Diego having grown up, gone to college, and played his entire career in the area. I was fortunate to meet Tony a couple of times growing up and he didn't let you down with his smile, his laugh, and his ability to connect with you even though he really didn't know you. We all knew about Tony growing up but he was more interested in finding out about you the person. Tony was just a great guy. A great player. Perhaps the best hitter the game has seen in 50 plus years. Tony Gwynn will be missed. Tony is up there with the Cal Ripkens, Dale Murphys and Ozzie Smiths of the baseball world. Great ball players who were even better good guys off the field. They lived up to the sports idol for every kid.
RIP Tony Gwynn.
No more fucking excuses. We are the USA. We don't need excuses. We need answers and we needed them yesterday. Portugal just got their bitch asses steamrolled by the Germans and lost two players in the process including their pride and dignity. This "group of death" currently doesn't look so fucking deadly anymore. All the USA has to do is beat fucking Ghana at 6pm today. Ghana is some piss ant from Africa who has no right to beat us considering all the money we put into developing our players and hiring the best coaches in the world. I'm pretty sure 95% of Ghana doesn't even have electricity much less water. No more fucking excuses America. I want us to destroy Ghana and then kick the living shit out of Portugal and Ronaldo and then Germany can annihilate us for all I care since it won't matter since we will automatically advance.
P.S - I only watch soccer every four years for the World Cup. I still think it's a nancy sport with "athletes" who would get curbed stomp playing in the States if they played one of the sports that actually matters (Football, baseball, hockey, basketball) but that doesn't matter right now. It's about national pride. We gotta win. No more excuses.
Double P.S - Cool video. I got a little chub from it no lie.
Wonder what's in the box...#goirish #Indianapolis pic.twitter.com/o0oPz0gl6a
— Ryan Grooms (@NDFBEquipment) June 16, 2014
Oh Ryan you can't be teasing the family jewels like this. I can feel it deep in my plums. They are all tingly in anticipation. What's in the box? I need to see the new 2014 Shamrock Series helmet today!
I'm not going to lie. I would fucking kill to live one day in Johnny Football's shoes right now. I mean is anybody else living it up more than Johnny Manziel? He's got a different dime piece every week. Hell he might have a different smokeshow every day for all I can tell. He's been partying with celebrities all over the country. He's got so much cash he can't even fucking hear us. Johnny Cleveland is living like a gangster. Party on Johnny. Party on.
OFFICIAL- NFL Films is excited 2 announce #HARDKNOCKS will feature @Atlanta_Falcons, premiering Aug 5. #cinemaverite pic.twitter.com/XfIzuQ5eCe
— NFL Films (@NFLFilms) June 12, 2014
Holy shit! I'm trying to think of a more scary scenario than this. Look I would be the last person you would see cliff diving. I just couldn't muster up the courage even if I was hammered, black out drunk. But to not only cliff dive and yet come down with the possibility of the world's most famous man eating predator just waiting for you as a snack is frightening. This bloke is more lucky than any lottery winner. His life was determined to go on only because that Great White waiting in the water had already eaten no doubt.
I'm trying to think of a more scarier scenario than cliff diving into Great White shark infested waters. Hmmm, maybe being a Chicago Cubs fan. Yeah that would definitely be suicidal.
A's left fielder Yoenis Cespedes did it again last night vs the Angels. Bobbling ground balls and making ridiculous on the mark throws has become Cespedes forte. Watch him nail Albert Pujols at 3rd base...
And of course the night before Cespedes made one of the best throws I have ever seen. He basically channeled his inner Bo Jackson and completed a frozen rope from the warning track all the way to home to nail Howie Kendrick...
Now I just feel bad for making fun of soccer players. Sorry excuse me. I meant "futbol players." Every single soccer player has gone out of their way to tell me how they are the best athletes and it takes the most skill to excel at their great sport. I mean after all it is the world's most popular sport so it must take an elite talent to conquer it like Cristiano Ronaldo has. He's the best of the best and you would never know that he doesn't use his arms like every other sport in the world. It's just so natural for him to throw a pigskin. I mean he could probably win the Heisman next year if he decided to attend college and slay coeds instead of European models. Yup it must be the reason why America sucks so bad at soccer because we don't have the great athletes that Europe and the other countries have. Ronaldo proves it with his natural talent. It's like watching 50 Cent throw a baseball. You can't miss the greatness.
Love those shorts by the way. It's always comforting to see someone's nuts dangling out while dribbling a soccer ball. Makes me respect his game even more.
See America has nothing to fear when it comes to gay people and marriage. Give them a little bit of the sauce and they start hitting on the opposite sex on live tv. This guy seems to have the same amount of game I used to have while intoxicated. The scary part is it actually worked. About 5% of the time but hey beggars can't be choosers. Someone get this guy another drink he could turn into Derek Jeter just swooping up grade A road beef.
We really are a simple breed. Just show us a pretty girl and we will throw all logic out of the window. We are basically dogs. Give us a little love and we are all ears and panting for more. Model Adrian Lima could have turned on Big Ten Football and I would have been like "Fuck Yeah I need some Big Ten Football" even though we all know it sucks. The power of the ....
Last season Baltimore Orioles slugger Chris "Crush" Davis hit a staggering 53 homers in a break out season that earned him top 3 MVP votes. This season Davis has been struggling with the long balls. He had 7 going into last night at the 1/3 season mark. After hitting a towering ball in the right field bleacher seats in Arlington last night you would think his teammates would be excited to see Crush break out of his mini slump. They gave him the silent treatment. Davis would not be shown up though as he gave his air high fives to his imaginary teammates. Take that assholes!
O's won their 4th straight. I'm still holding out hope the O's beat the Dodgers in the World Series as I predicted before the season started. They need to make a trade for another starter (Jeff Samardzija please) and get Matt Wieters back from injury and they should be fine. They got this!
50 Cent must have taken 9 bullets to his left shoulder before delivering this stinker of a first pitch. I'm right handed and I'm 100% certain I could throw left handed better than 50. Clearly not an athlete 50 should stick with rapping and/or soccer because the use of his arm is clearly not needed or wanted.
We are near the 1/3 season mark and Baltimore Orioles slugger/"Biogenisis survivor" Nelson Cruz is the MLB leader with 16 HRs. Some would describe Cruz as passionate, beastly, steady, machine, etc. His teammate Chris Davis who led the Majors last season in HR and RBIs however has a different one word description: flamboyant. I don't think anyone saw that coming. Hopefully "Cruzzzzzz" can be as flamboyant as Brady Anderson was back in the mid-to-late 90's and lead the Orioles back to the playoffs. You go boy!
Now that is NATITUDE! Smell it! Smell it! I said fucking SMELL IT!
Via @recordsandradio
