Picture courtesy of PoonoftheSEC

TOP 10 COLLEGE FOOTBALL
1. OKLAHOMA SOONERS-Demarco Murray is proving to be one of the most valuable versatile backs in the nation. His kickoff return was a thing of beauty and he has that something special which will make him a Heisman favorite next year.
2. LSU TIGERS-It's amazing how quickly they have risen back to the #1 status despite losing a less than a month ago and have a lot of close games. But in my poll they are #2 because I think the Sooners are the better team right now.
3. OREGON DUCKS-Dennis Dixon will get his chance to prove to voters his Heisman candidacy this Thursday on ESPN against Arizona.
4. KANSAS JAYHAWKS-They keep rolling, one of only two undefeated teams and if they win out there is no doubt they should be in the BCS game. I think they have a good chance to by the way.
5. WEST VIRGINIA MOUNTAINEERS-Pat White is a pimp. If they didn't lose to South Florida he might have been the #1 Heisman guy right now. Win out and they make a BCS game.
6. MISSOURI TIGERS-Chase Daniel is playing his best ball right now and the showdown against Kansas next Saturday will be a great match up.
7. OHIO STATE BUCKEYES-The Buckeyes shouldn't hang their heads, they still have a chance to win the Big Ten this week against the hated Wolverines.
8. GEORGIA BULLDOGS-Knowshon Moreno has been the best back in the SEC, possibly the country the second half of the season. If the Bulldogs win out against Kentucky and Georgia Tech they will make a BCS game no matter if they are in the SEC Championship or not.
9. ARIZONA STATE SUNDEVILS-Two words for you: Dennis Erickson. Isn't the Nebraska job about to open? Could get interesting.
10. FLORIDA GATORS-Tim Tebow is a man among boys. His 7 touchdown performance against South Carolina put him back to #1 in my book among Heisman candidates.
JUST MISSED THE CUT-TEXAS, VIRGINIA TECH, USC, CLEMSON,

JUST WHEN YOU THINK...
The greatest running back since (fill in last great back name, who ever you prefer)comes in the NFL and takes over the game, he has to get hurt. Rookie sensation Adrian Peterson has a tear in his ligament only a week after setting the new NFL rushing record in a game. Right now the Vikings are being tight lipped about the severity but it appears this could keep AP out for the rest of the season. It has now become painfully clear to see...God hates Purple Jesus because he is a Jew! And by God I mean Larry King.

LARRY KING PISSES OFF SEINFELD
Sorry, I don't watch CNN unless some major catastrophe is going on, so excuse me for not knowing Larry King still had a show. Seriously, how old is this guy? I'm guessing he has to be at least 82 years old, the ear hair is a dead give away. Anyways, the old fucker got on the bad side of comedian Jerry Seinfeld by asking a stupid question...

http://view.break.com/393958 - Watch more free videos
It is now more clear than ever, Larry King is an anti semitic whore. Sure he claims he is Jewish himself but you know he would be the first guy to rat out Anne Frank and her family if he knew it guarenteed an extra loaf of bread for himself.

THIS IS WHAT BC GRADS DO WITH THEIR DEGREES
You know, it's bad enough you lose to Florida State and Maryland in back-to-back weeks, but now it's gotten so bad in Chestnut Hill that even their degree isn't worth shit. Don't believe me, well then watch this little clip about Boston College Safety Jamie Silva courtesy of AwfulAnnouncing. I wonder if Doug Flutie's Heisman is in there?

COLT BRENNAN FOR HEISMAN?
Not if Fresno State's Marcus Riley has something to say about it. See kids, this is why you listen in class, take notes, and get good grades because you don't want to be the guy on the receiving end of a hit like this. It's like trying to watch Helen Keller get Stephen Hawking off on a Broadway show. Just painful. Anyways, here is the clip, courtesy of MacG'sWorld...

Brennan managed to tie Ty Detmer's career touchdown passes record but had to leave the game so he catch his hot date with a cathadar.

HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY
I'm dedicating todays posts to all the troops out there, past and present, who either served or who are still serving this great country when all the other pussies like myself played video games and took bong hits instead of getting off the couch.

Here is to you armed forces, now go get Towelie...

WEEKEND PICKS
Just a hint, I like the road teams this week...
AUBURN(+1.5) AT GEORGIA
The Tigers have won 16 straight games wearing their all white uniforms. The Dawgs will be sporting an all black uniform similar to the Atlanta Falcons uniform. Yes, Matthew Stafford will remind Georgia fans of Michael Vick with a couple of costly turnovers.
Prediction: Auburn 21 Georgia 20

KANSAS(-6) AT OKLAHOMA STATE
The Jayhawks are for real! Still undefeated, I think they will blow out a bad Okie State team on the road.
Prediction: Kansas 28 Oklahoma State 14

FLORIDA STATE(+7) AT VIRGINIA TECH
I'm going on gut instinct in this game. The Seminoles are a more talented team and I think they will want this game more than the turkey necks up in Blacksburg.
Prediction: Florida State 17 Virginia Tech 13

USC(-4) AT CALThe Bears have been stumbling of late and the Trojans seemed to get their act together last week against the Beavers. John David Booty should have a good game against a rather weak Bear's secondary.
Prediction: USC 31 Cal 20

TEXAS TECH(+6.5) AT TEXAS
The Red Raiders can score like a midget in Bangkok, but can they hang with Big Brother Texas? I think so, just because the Longhorns haven't been all that impressive this season.
Prediction: Texas 38 Texas Tech 35

CONNECTICUT AT CINCINNATI(-6.5)
I like the Bearcats in this matchup. Like I said last week, the Huskies have to lose at least one Big East game.
Prediction: Cincy 28 Huskies 14

ARIZONA STATE(-7) AT UCLA
UCLA usually wins these type of games, you know the one where they have the 3rd string QB. But I think the SunDevils will bounce back just fine after losing to Oregon last week.
Prediction: ASU 35 UCLA 20

AIR FORCE(-3.5) AT NOTRE DAME
The bleeding, long death of Notre Dame football 2007 edition continues. The good thing about this season is the beer still tastes good.
Prediction: Air Force 27 Notre Dame 14

Enjoy your weekend bitches!

LOU HOLTZ WEEKLY PEP TALK
I have a lot of respect for Holtz and think he is a great guy and all, but he needs to stop doing these pep talks. Half of the shit he says doesn't make much sense and his effort to make fun of Mike Gundy in this is lame.

SPORTSCRACK COLLEGE FOOTBALL TOP 10
1. Ohio State Buckeyes-James Laurinaitis is proving he is the best defensive player in the country. Glenn Dorsey has gotten a ton of press, but the Little Animal is a wrecking machine and seems to be the proven leader for the Buckeyes as far back as last year when he was a sophomore. As the season progresses I really don't see anybody beating the Buckeyes. Illinois could give them a test this week but I think the Buckeyes will wear them down by the third quarter and force Juice Williams out of the game. I hate to say it but I think we can go ahead and pencil in the Buckeyes in the BCS Title game because I don't think they will lose to Michigan either next week.

2. Oklahoma Sooners-The Sooners are back to rocking and rolling after destroying Texas A&M. With two warm up games in Baylor and Texas Tech the following week ahead before the showdown against Oklahoma State at the end of the season, the Sooners should be able to rack up big time points in the minds of the voters if they continue to roll and win the Big 12 this season. Keep in mind the Big 12 has 3 teams in the top 10 right now with Texas lurking just outside. For all the shit the Big 12 has gotten from me and the national media, the league is one of the best this season.

3. LSU Tigers-I'm not sure how many times Les Miles has sold his soul to the Devil but each week he is just squeezing by. Last week's win over Alabama was their fourth straight game decided by a touchdown or less. In all four games they easily could have lost but didn't so they sit high. They are going to need to win impressively the rest of the season because the schedule is much easier with LA Tech, Ole Miss, and Arkansas remaining till the SEC Championship. And even in the SEC Championship game if they win it they could be doing so against a 3 loss team which would not be as impressive as a Big 12 Championship team. Food for thought SEC Fans.

4. Oregon Ducks-Everybody is in love with the Ducks and rightfully so. They clobbered Arizona State and now it appears they have the easy part of their schedule ahead of them. If the Ducks win out do they deserve to be in the National Championship game? Sure, why wouldn't they if both Ohio State and Kansas lose a game. Do I think the Ducks will roll the rest of the way? I don't think so because I think UCLA and Oregon State will give them games and I'm not sure how healthy or effective Dennis Dixon is going to be the rest of the season.

5. Kansas Jayhawks-This team is for real. It's been a joy to watch this team fight for everything they can get and really speaks for how well coached and prepared the Jayhawks are by Mark Mangino. They will get their chance to again prove how good they are in front of a national television prime time audience this Saturday against Okie State. Win it and we are looking at a huge match up with Missouri in two weeks to determine who goes to the Big 12 Championship game with a shot at a BCS Title at stake.

6. West Virginia Mountaineers-Pat White will have this team steam rolling over Louisville tomorrow night but I don't think it's going to be enough to get them back in the BCS Title talks unless a lot of teams in front of them start slipping up.

7. Missouri Tigers-Mizzou keeps winning and proving they are not a fluke by any means. With a resounding win over the Buffs in Boulder last week, Chase Daniel and Co. are in control of their own destiny. Win out and they will be playing a rematch game with Oklahoma in the Big 12 Championship for a possible BCS Title game berth at stake.

8. Georgia Bulldogs-Knowshon Moreno is the shit. How this kid got red shirted last year still baffles me. The Dawgs are going to have a battle this week in Athens vs. Auburn. Win and they are staring at Kentucky as the only obstacle between a SEC Championship berth. Lose and they are going back to the Chick Fil-A Bowl.

9. Arizona State SunDevils-Back to reality for the SunDevils after the loss to Oregon, they can still win out the rest of the season and play in a BCS Bowl game.

10. UCONN Huskies-I can't believe how well Jim Calhoun has prepared this team. All they have to do is get in the tourney and I can see them causing some damage if they survive the Cinderella games. Damn I wish College Football had a tourney.

Just missed the cut: Boston College, Virginia Tech, Michigan, Texas, Florida, Alabama

DAVE CHAPPELLE IN LONDON
I just came upon this wonderful video on YouTube of a performance by Dave Chappelle in London at Kojo's from about a week ago. Watch and learn...

This is how you wing it on the comedy stage. I saw Chappelle in Atlanta about two months back and I must say his stand up is way better than his TV show. Anytime a little sprinkle comes out because the laughter was too hard to bear you know the guy is one funny mofo. He made the right decision in turning down the money I think. He appears very happy to be doing stand up and out of the spotlight so to speak. Whether or not it is in a basement across seas doesn't even seem to faze him.

HOLY SHIT! THEY ARE TEARING DOWN WRIGLEY!
The Lovable Losers will no longer have a home in Wrigley Field starting in 2008. With the 100th year anniversary of the last World Series Champion coming to fruition this spring, the Chicago Cubs franchise has decided their pathetic history can no longer exist in the beautiful confines of Wrigley Field. Home of the Cubbies since 1916, rumors are the Cubs will relocate to Baltimore where Peter Angelos can further run them into the ground and alienate fans with $8 beers and shitty baseball.

I know you are probably thinking this is some BS made up story but it's not. You want proof Bleacher Bums, well here is your proof...

Even the down on his luck groundskeeper has been told to keep his mouth shut or he will be named the new GM by Angelos, a punishment not worthy of anybody. I've tried to find film of Angelos spitting on Harry Carey's grave but I have had no luck so far. When contacted by phone, Mr. Cub Ernie Banks seemed excited with the move but when I reassured him they weren't moving to proven winner St. Louis and instead to Baltimore he hung up.

TOO FUNNY NOT TO POST
Umm, ESPN's Rob Stone you might not want to...oh never mind....

HT Video: WithLeather
Brings back memories of College Spring Break trips to Juarez and the fun times with the donkey(and yes, they do kick). Remember kids, always double bag it including your tongue!

It keeps giving, doesn't it Rob?

UGA SENIORS CALL FOR "BLACKOUT"
When I first heard of the Georgia Bulldog seniors calling for a "blackout" for this week's game against Auburn in Athens, I wondered how in the world are they going to be able to do that when, you know, 98.7% of the crowd is WHITE?

I mean I understand the whole Penn State "white out" deal because white people wear white shirts and those Quakers have milky skin already so it doesn't take much effort. But there is no way everybody in Athens attending the game is just going to wear black shirts and put on black face. It's impossible.

Next thing you know they are going to ask for a red out and will be busing in all the Mexicans from Buford Highway. Obviously this is a racial issue and I didn't want to get involved but I felt it needed to be brought up. What do you guys think? Would you guys be offended if UGA wore black face to the game against Auburn?

THIS VIDEO
pretty much sums up college football this season.

Pure fucking pandemonium full of boozed up taco wearing hat lovers filled with bloody screams of pain and pleasure all rolled up into one.

In other words another Friday night masturbation session for yours truly.

RAVENS ARE NEVERMORE
Wow, that Ravens prediction to beat the spread was a little off by me. Oh well, the Ravens are going down the shitter to the delight of everybody outside of metro Baltimore. With the injuries piling up and the "offensive genius" showing he can't formulate a scoring offense still despite roaming the sidelines for 9 years now in Charm City, there is always College Basketball for all the Marylanders out there.

Oh shit, the Terps are suppose to suck too this year. Well, how about those Colts and Orioles?

Just to rub it in a little bit, here is a nice little love tap from Mr. Hines "always grinning like he just bonked your wife" Ward on Ed Reed. Trust me and watch the clip to the very end, it's worth it not because Mike Tirico announces it like he is doing golf but the unbelievable head snap.

Video HT: Awful Announcing

RUN SABAN RUN

Must be the money!

Via EDSBS through TigerDroppings

SORRY
I've been having some computer difficulties today, apparently typing in www.bigdonkeyfloppy.com is not a good move on a Monday morning. I promise I will make it up to you guys not with sexual favors or anything like that but with something to laugh at...

Let's make this world a better place.

NEW SHIRTS
Check them out at the store page where you can order some of the greatest tees known to mankind.

Gaytors tee shirt, jorts not included.


To Hell with Tech! Shirt


State Penn Shirt

All the shirts are $17 and as always a portion of all sales goes to the American Cancer Society. Show your support for all things Sportscrack by purchasing a tee, trust me, you won't regret it nearly as much as that annoying crotch rash.

D-MAC IS A BAD MAN

HT: EDSBS

I think it's about time to bring D-MAC back into the Heisman talks.

CONGRATULATIONS NAVY
I should have posted this yesterday but I was too drunk to type let alone put a rational thought together(I know what you are thinking..rational thought, has there ever been one on this blog?) after watching Navy finally beat Notre Dame. I've always appreciated the Naval Academy for what they provide our country and I felt really happy yesterday for all the Middies out there that they could finally celebrate a victory. I may be a Notre Dame fan but I was born in Annapolis and have spent as much time on the grounds of the Naval Academy as I have on the hallowed grounds of the Notre Dame campus.

So congrats go out to the Midshipmen.

With that being said I want to let out some frustrations from yesterday. In essense I should only type FUCK YOU CHARLIE but it doesn't do justice to what I really feel. You kick the fucking field goal to win the fucking game you stupid arrogant idiot. You recruited the kicker and instead of showing your confidence in him you decided to go for it on 4th and 8 instead of trying to kick a winning 41 yard field goal. Your fucking arrogance is laughable. Even Charlie Jr. rolled his eyes when you made the call.

Not only that but you did a fake field goal in the first half on 4th and 13, running your slow starting QB thinking he may pull a Travis Thomas and run it for a first down. You fucking idiot, did you really think Evan Sharpley was going to run for 15 yards there? Worse of all you could have gotten your starting QB injured on a horrible play call and then you would have been forced to bring in an injured Jimmy Clausen in to do handoffs.

Get your fat overbloated head out of your ass and think before you decide to again pass up a game winning field goal try for a futile pass attempt. The game was tied you dumb fuck and I don't give a shit about the wind or your excuses for not kicking it.

Everybody in the stadium had the look of what the fuck just happened when you went for it on 4th down. My patience has run thin with Charlie. This season lies squarely on his shoulders. You alone lost the game yesterday against an inferior opponent. I no longer feel confidence in Weis and his coaching abilities, or disability for that matter.

Matt Fairchild's liver says "FUCK YOU CHARLIE."