MARCH OF SHAME

"Their shirts are stained, perhaps irreversibly."

16 MORE DAYS

So the questions remains: Are you ready?

Because I sure as shit am. Bring my college football and let me be.

Life begins or ends in 16 days.

For Georgia fans it might have already ended with the bad news of starting left tackle and Matthew Stafford's blind side protector Trinton Sturdivant is lost for the season.

GEORGE BUSH ENJOYING HIS LAST DAYS

Why don't you go ahead and wipe the sand out of her va....never mind! Sometimes it's good to be the President. Screw foreign policy or that nasty Russia-Georgia battle, our President loves his beach volleyball. It's about priorities people.

Pictures courtesy of Deadspin

RYAN BRAUN, AKA THE HEBREW HAMMER MEETS MARISSA MILLER

So this is why Ryan Braun has missed the past couple of Milwaukee Brewers games with lower back problems. Supermodel Marisa Miller is known to cause whiplash among males ages 1-124 and The Hebrew Hammer apparently fell for her during a recent commercial shot for a Remington razors which is headed straight to YouTube according to JS Online. One can only imagine Braun convincing Miller he needed to get in character by actually sleeping with her in order to make the scene believable.

Never mind, the guy is young, makes millions and plays professional baseball. He is literally fishing with dynamite and doesn't need to convince Miller of anything other than she is missing out on the power of The Hebrew Hammer.

BLOW THIS FRANCE

Nothing like seeing the good old U-S of A putting those French fuckers back in their place. If your going to talk the talk you better walk the walk and the French swim team couldn't hold on. Michael Phelps gets his second gold medal with six more on the horizon needed to break Spitz's Olympic record.

MLB PLAY OF THE YEAR

Catch
by bsap11

There wasn't an out recorded on the play but it's hard to argue a better play in baseball this year. Kansas City Royals outfielder Ross Gload reacted with cat like precision in grabbing the ball off the outfield wall as it miraculously dangled and danced down it for what looks like at least 8 feet. The only time I have ever seen a ball dangle from something over a foot was one of my old John Holmes VHS tapes. Damn, those were the good old days. That guy had "talent."

ELVIS IS ALIVE AND WELL AT WRIGLEY FIELD

The hunk of hunk of burning love was spotted last night during the rain delay in the Astros-Cubs game doing his best Rick Dempsey impersonation. Not seen in his pockets was a fifth of Jack and enough horse tranquilizers to kill a Vietnamese village.

Video HT: BigLeagueStew

RIP SKIP CAREY

I'm a day late with this but I figured I might as well acknowledge the passing of Atlanta Braves announcer Skip Carey. Growing up in Atlanta with no cable at the time, Carey and Pete Van Wieren were the voices who resonated baseball during my childhood. Channel 17 was TBS and if you grew up in Atlanta you watched a lot of terrible Braves teams in the 80's. The 90's brought a new era of winning baseball thanks to the presence of GM John Schuerholz and manager Bobby Cox. Skip Carey was there all the way narrating the bad times and the good times. The call above was his greatest and yet I never heard it live. I was at that game with my Dad. It was the pinnacle of the Atlanta Braves history and Carey summed it up best with "Braves Win! Braves Win! Braves Win!" He was as big of a fan of the Braves as we were. He will be missed.

I feel comfortable knowing that Skip is more than likely sharing a bourbon with his legendary dad Harry in heaven.

RIP Skip Carey.

NOTRE DAME FOOTBALL ENJOYS DAS BOOT

The Big Lead has pictures of the annual "Beer Olympics" in the Notre Dame hockey house. Partaking in the event while representing the football team with some sweet cherry red athletic jackets were James Aldridge, Armando Allen, Brian Smith and Jimmy Clausen. And before everybody gets all high and mighty about college athletes drinking remember that 99.9% of students drink. The .1% is Tim Tebow and Urban Meyer's daughter. Meyer told me this and I trust everything that comes out of his angel mouth. Now excuse me while I go wipe the sarcasm off my ass.

KENNY IRONS SOUNDS SMART

I'm just going to go and throw it out there and you take it in, just absorb what I'm about to say and then tell me what you think: Bengals RB Kenny Irons is the next Steven Spielberg!

I know you all agree with me. His special effects with the beer pitcher camera angle are going to be revolutionary in the film industry. It's impressive to see an Auburn grad...oh wait, I was just informed they don't actually graduate football players. Ummm, yeah, well it is impressive to see somebody who actually attended Auburn and yet has the brain functionality to know how to turn on an actual camera and act like a complete moron. You can't teach that!

Kenny Irons: real men of genius? I think so.

GEORGIA PRESEASON #1

The Georgia Bulldogs are the top ranked preseason team according to the USA Today coaches poll. If you asked my opinion I would tell you that preseason ranking should be thrown out in the garbage and we shouldn't have a vote till after the third week of the season but the system is what it is. With that being said if I had to do a preseason ranking I would agree with Georgia as the top ranked team. They are loaded at every position with the exceptions of WR (expect big things from freshman AJ Green) and kicker (still looking for a replacement for Brandon Coutu). We all know they have exceptional coaching with Mark Richt and his staff doing great things in Athens and they have recruited top 5 talent in the nation since Richt has arrived from Tallahassee.

More on the polls to come later.

The AP releases their preseason top 25 on August 16th.

MANNY RAMIREZ TRADED TO DODGERS, BAY TO RED SOX

According to Jon Heyman of SI.com....

The Red Sox traded embattled slugger Manny Ramirez to the Dodgers late Thursday afternoon, SI.com has learned.

Jason Bay is headed to Boston as part of the deal, SI.com has learned. The Pirates will get four minor leaguers in the three-way trade.

The Red Sox went back-and-forth with the Marlins and Dodgers as the 4 p.m. ET deadline approached. Ramirez said earlier today, as first reported by SI.com, that he would accept a trade to any team.

The announcement will be made in conjunction with a World Baseball Classic announcement at Dodger Stadium shortly.

The Dodgers just got much, much better with Manny Ramirez in the line up. Manny is a pain in the ass but there is no doubt he is one of the best right handed hitters all-time. The Red Sox get a really good player in Jason Bay and they can now move on and stop talking about Manny. Both the Dodgers and the Red Sox win in this transaction and the Pirates get a bunch of unproven prospects from the Dodgers and Red Sox. Sounds familiar. The prospects according to ESPN are...

Third baseman Andy LaRoche and right-handed pitcher Bryan Morris will go to the Pirates from the Dodgers. Outfielder Brandon Moss and right-handed pitcher Craig Hansen will leave the Red Sox orgianization for Pittsburgh, ESPN.com has learned.

LaRoche could be a hell of a player but the Pirates just drafted Pedro Alvarez who also plays third so one of them will have to switch positions. Morris is a 21 year old lefty who has posted impressive numbers at A ball for the Dodger organization. Moss has some upside as a corner outfielder who could be a lot like a Luke Scott for the Orioles. Hansen is a middle reliever who is cheap and locked up for years and could become the Pirates closer in the near future.

Go to MLBTRADERUMORS for more up to date analysis from Tim Dierkes.

Red Sox fans don't know this yet but I think they will miss Manny being Manny when he isn't in the lineup tearing up the Yankees. Got that? Hola....

Manny (02)
by bsap11

THIS IS WHY WE MADE THE SHIRT STATE PENN..

46 Penn State players have been charged with crimes with 163 counts against them in the last 6 years and yet JoePa is claiming ESPN is on a "witch hunt."

Hey JoePa, 27 of those players have pleaded guilty to their crimes! ESPN's Outside the Lines has shown your football team has become an embarrassment to the University. It is time for you to step down and at least take some responsibility for what is happening at State Penn. I think it has become clear the only reason why JoePa is still coaching is because he has a personal battle against FSU coach Bobby Bowden for the all-time NCAA football victories by a head coach. Throw your ego out the door JoePa. You don't even know how to use a fucking computer or how to send a text message! The game has passed you by and all you can claim is people are going after you for a "witch hunt" in which your program keeps getting players arrested.

Hell, yesterday you had to dismiss defensive tackles Chris Baker and Phil Taylor. Things aren't getting better. These are not isolated incidents when 46 football players are getting arrested with 17 in the past year alone.

You need to leave. Go away or I will just have to keep selling these very comfortable State Penn shirts that are guaranteed to get you laid where ever you go...

WHY WOULD YOU THINK USC IS GAY?

So their badass middle linebacker Rey Maualuga likes to wear thongs in practice when he isn't pile driving tightends into the ground. That doesn't make one person gay now does it?

I have nothing bad to say about Maualuga because a person with his reputation for punching people in the face at parties is not something I aspire to experience in my lifetime. The first picture he must be leaning on some kind of butt dart they use in Trojan practices.

Go on girl..I mean Rey...be out and proud and make the Trojan community proud!

More pictures are available at Banned in Hollywood.

GREG ODEN AND KEVIN DURANT WOULD TEAR UP DANICA PATRICK

The above picture from the ESPY's is from the Big Lead and it shows how much love and admiration NBA rookies Greg Oden and Kevin Durant have for Danica Patrick's booty. Oden has that stare like a fat kid eyeing up a Twinkie at Fat Camp. He just wants to tear it up right there. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if has already. Or maybe they are just fantasizing about Danica and Maria Sharapova playing hide the floppies.

UHHH...one can only dream.

BARON DAVIS AND STEVE NASH ARE STEPBROTHERS

Video HT: WithLeather

EURO SOCCER

And people wonder why soccer hasn't caught the US by storm! I got to admit, not to sound gay or anything, but the one guy with the mustache has a really nice rack. His breasts are like pointy pillows sent down from Marilyn Monroe heaven. I'm going to go now...

YANKEES TRADE FOR PUDGE RODRIGUEZ

Just reported by Buster Olney of ESPN, the New York Yankees have found a replacement for Jorge Posada by acquiring Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez for one of my old Milton high school teammates in Kyle Farnsworth. Pudge is a shell of his former self but the future Hall of Famer is an upgrade over Chad Moeller and Jose Molina and will be a free agent after this season. The Yankees can risk offering Pudge arbitration and he will become a Type A free agent so if another team signs him it gives the Yankees a supplemental first round draft pick. Farnsworth is another overpaid reliever who should be familiar with Detroit since he has played there before and should help their bullpen.

Overall good trade by both teams.

#1 LB JELANI JENKINS FAMILY LOVES NOTRE DAME

I've been slacking on the college football recruiting front lately so I figured I would give you a little update on the #1 rated prep linebacker in the nation. His name is Jelani Jenkins and he was the Maryland Gatorade Player of the Year last year as a junior out of Wheaton(MD)Our Lady of Good Counsel. He is currently ranked the #1 linebacker by Rivals and the #2 rated WLB by Scout and he is highly coveted by every major football program around the country. He also reportedly carries a 4.0 GPA and is looking for a program with both a high standard for academics as well as on the gridiron.

Jelani and his family have already taken a road trip earlier this summer out West to visit the campuses of Stanford, USC and UCLA and this past week they made another road trip to the Midwest to visit the campuses of Michigan, Michigan State, Notre Dame, and Illinois. Mike Farrell of Rivals.com got a scoop on how the visits went in the Midwest from Jelani's father Maurice...

"Michigan was impressive, we liked the facilties and the academics. They just built a new facility for academic support and Michigan has a good reputation for academics. And on the football side, they showed us Michigan's defense from last year and how Jelani would fit into it. We were really impressed with the strength program and the trainers, that was one of the most impressive things we saw."

And how was Michigan State?

"They are doing a lot of growing," Maurice said. "They are putting a lot of money into the program and making some major renovations so the dedication is there. We met with coach Gill and the defensive coordinator, coach Pat Narduzzi and were very grateful for the time they spent with us."

And after MSU, it was on to Notre Dame.

"The Notre Dame visit went great, it's a beautiful campus, the staff was very hospitable and coach Weis has a great knowledge of the game from his NFL days. We met with Corwin Brown who went through the X's and O's with us and showed us how Jelani would fit in. He'd be a weakside linebacker for them and do a lot of blitzing.

"But we got to see the depth chart, the facilities were nice and of course the academics are excellent there. And they have a great legacy of football."

Jenkins plans to visit Florida, Boston College, and Miami in the near future and reportedly has close ties with Maryland and Penn State in terms of friends and closeness to home so his choices are still wide open with nobody definitively eliminated at this point. A lot of times these kids get a lot of hype coming out of high school and it's not exactly warranted because of either they can't qualify in terms of grades or they have already peaked in terms of performance at the high school level. Neither of these can be said about Jelani and if you have doubts about how good he is then take a look at this film of him running through and over opponents with ease...


Jenkins is the type of player who can step on campus immediately and compete for playing time as a starter so expect his decision to be well calculated in regards to what program offers the best in terms of atmosphere, academics, social life, and of course football. Who ever he chooses will be getting a hell of a football player and an even better student.

JASON GIAMBI SAYS F U TO BRIAN ROBERTS

In the bottom of the sixth inning last night in Yankees Stadium the Orioles had a massive shift on Jason Giambi, aka Dirk Diggler, in which Orioles 2b Brian Roberts was basically playing shallow right field. The 70's Porn Stache smoked a ball just out of the reach of Roberts and promptly gave him the finger when rounding first base. It was Giambi's way of telling him I don't need your effing shift fellow roid boy!

The Orioles beat the Yankees again 7-6 and the Giambi/Roberts feud was more play than hate as both players laughed it off as they realized they make millions to play a child's game while I sit behind a computer eating Ramen Noodles in my boxers for the umpteenth time. Later in the game some douchebag umpire named Chad Fairchild (more than likely related) ejected Orioles pitcher Daniel Cabrera for hitting Alex Rodriguez which Fairchild must have taken as payback for the Giambi bird.

Come on Fairchild, don't be as drunk and senile as I am. The O's will go for the sweep today right after Fairchild gets done refeering a Turkish wresting match with A-Rod and Madonna. It's true, I read it in the New York Post so it can't be made up! Right guys and gals?

Here is the video footage in case you think the photo is doctored...