HITLER REACTS TO NOTRE DAME COACHING

Ich liebe Urban Meyer!

BRIAN MCCANN HAS A SUPERBAD MOMENT ON HIS BAT

Deadspin has this great picture of Atlanta Braves catcher Brian McCann who apparently likes to draw things on his bat. I think we could all see this coming when McCann was in high school and admitted his problem with dong drawing....

CONVINCING SIEMENS COMMERCIAL

First be warned before viewing this commercial. IT HAS NUDITY! I know, it's terrible and obviously not safe for work and the commercial makes little sense but either does this blog and it's readers so I figured why not post it. Obviously the Europeans are a little bit more open in terms of nudity and sky diving...

Link:

God I would love to see a commercial like this played during the Super Bowl just to see the reactions from all the conservative Christians. Their tears of guilt would make it all worth while. Sinners.

Also I found this story pretty interesting in regards to France's First Lady Carla Bruni. Apparently she is suing a bag maker over the use of her nude image while she was a model back in the day. The bags are a huge hit and if you look at her below you can tell why. What is the world coming to when the French get this is a first lady and we got 8 years of George Bush?

She has my vote! You can view more Carla Bruni pics at this link.

Video HT: Joe

AUBURN LOVES THEM SOME GENE CHIZIK

Boooo, 5-19 is not good enough at Iowa State but apparently it's okay for Auburn to fire Tommy Turberville and replace him with Gene Chizik. Laughter and crying can now commence as Auburn goes back to being the doormat of Alabama...


I feel bad for Auburn. Their fans are obviously upset and vulnerable right now. They already hate Gene Chizik and he has yet to even call a play. This of course is the complete opposite of how Alabama fans reacted to the hire of Nick Saban. We going bowling...WHHHHOOOOOO!!!!....


Video HT: Billy

WAS IT A TOUCHDOWN?

The two top ranked NFL defenses showed up yesterday in Baltimore in a great game ending with a controversial call. Personally it didn't look like the ball broke the plane of the end zone and I'm not sure what the officials saw on replay to make it indisputable. Remember that the goal line official spotted Santonio Holmes just short of the end zone so when they went to replay the call had to be indisputable to over turn the original call. So in other words the Ravens got screwed at home. With the win the Pittsburgh Steelers won the AFC North and will now enjoy a first round bye and have a good chance of getting home field advantage throughout the playoffs. Right now the Steelers are playing great football and with the New York Giants looking like garbage in Dallas last night I believe you have to put the Steelers as the favorite to win the Super Bowl.

THE CAN'T MENTION NAME AWARD BEING HANDED OUT PREDICTION

Since I can no longer mention the name or post pictures of the award without being threatened with a lawsuit I will just name the major award they give out tomorrow as the "Most Hyped Bullshit Award for the Guy who will probably blow balls in their respective bowl game and in the NFL."

So without further ado here is my final ballot:

1. Colt McCoy (Texas)-Led his team to a near undefeated season while leading them in rushing as a QB and accounting for over 40 TD's while completing near 80% of his passes. And he beat Sam Bradford and Texas should be playing in the BCS Title game and maybe, just maybe, this makes up for Vince Young not winning it a few seasons ago. Unfortunately with winning this award McCoy will now suck it up in the Fiesta Bowl against an over matched Buckeyes squad who have no right to be in a BCS Bowl game.

2. Tim Tebow (Florida)-He won it last year and again he had an excellent season. But not as good as last year. Tebow will take the consolation prize with a National Championship ring to add to his multiple awards.

3. Sam Bradford (Oklahoma)-Had an unbelievable year even when the Sooners were throwing for TD's late in the fourth quarter up by 40 points. Of course it's not his fault by any means but he lost to McCoy and I am shallow like that.

4. Michael Crabtree (Texas Tech)-I think he is the best player in college football. Maybe he should be #1 but his season stats were not nearly as unbelievable as last year.

5. Graham Harrell (Texas Tech)-Hey, we all know he got fucked not getting the invite. The committee got cheap because the economy is in shambles and they need to sue bloggers. Nothing but love from Sportscrack Graham, you should be there in NYC.

6. Shonn Greene (Iowa)-Ran for over 100 yards in every game and personally carried the Hawkeyes to a pretty big bowl while rushing for over 1700 yards and 17 TDs.

MARRIAGE ADVICE FROM MIKE WILBON

Some women's basketball player named Candace Parker and Shelden Williams got this sound marriage advice from PTI's Mike Wilbon...

I have never been a big fan of Wilbon but this made me laugh out loud.

Video HT: FanIQ

SINCE I DRIVE A DODGE...

...I thought this particular spoof advertisement was really funny. Plus I needed the laugh after an organization which will remain nameless has threatened to sue me because I make dick for money and they don't want to be affiliated or even mentioned by Sportscrack.

Oh yeah, the organization is Floppy's R Us. They also make dicks for money and they like to screw with the little guys.

No worries though, their name will never be mentioned again. This I promise.

Image HT: Dan

MICHAEL PHELPS LOVES BUSTY COCKTAIL WAITRESSES

Via WWTDD via Splash News comes this photo of Olympic hero Michael Phelps walking through LAX airport with his new girlfriend who just happens to be a Las Vegas cocktease...sorry, I meant cocktail waitress. This is what 8 Gold medals will get you kids. Fame, money and STD's. God bless you Phelps.

BARRY SANDERS JR. CAN PLAY

Just a freshman at Heritage Hall in Oklahoma, Barry Sanders Jr. made varsity and ripped off this 64 yard touchdown run in the Oklahoma Class 2A State Semi-Finals.

We can all pretty much agree that Barry's dad is one of the greatest runningbacks of all-time. Hell, he probably is the best ever. He played on a lot of terrible Detroit Lions teams and yet made them somewhat respectable. That in itself should make him one of the greatest. But I worry about Junior. A lot of people including myself at times are going to expect the kid to be as good or perhaps become better than his dad. It's just not possible. Barry Sr. could do things on the football field only LT and Adrian Peterson could dream of doing.

Unfortunately for all of us the hype around this kid is going to be insane for the next decade. Rivals and Scout websites will be blowing smoke up our asses about how he has better vision than Senior and he is faster. He will be setup with unreal expectations because of his bloodlines. USC coach Pete Carroll will be handing over dead hooker after dead hooker in hopes of enticing Junior into the dark side of South Central. It's going to be sad really.

Pete Carroll will be humming "every single breath you take, every tackle you break, every single day, I will be watching you" as he jerks off to old Naked Gun clips of Nordberg...


Barry Sanders Jr. Video: FanIQ

URBAN MEYER AGAIN STATES "NOTRE DAME IS MY DREAM JOB"

To all the people who doubt Florida head coach Urban Meyer would ever leave Gainesville for South Bend please click on this link, pick the Urban Meyer interview on the scroll board, and fast forward it to the 6:30 mark. The interview is from yesterday with Jim Mandich of Sports Radio 560 WQAM.

I think it has become painfully clear that if Charlie Weis doesn't succeed to some level in 2009 (BCS Bowl game is a must especially with their weak schedule) then Urban Meyer will be the head football coach of Notre Dame in 2010. The perfect storm will happen because Tim Tebow will be finishing off his senior season and riding off into the choppy waters of NFL obscurity while Urban takes a deal at Notre Dame with the hopes of gaining a statue and becoming a legend at Notre Dame Stadium like his mentor in Lou Holtz.

Link HT: Jeff

SPORTSCRACK BOWL PICK EM CONTEST

Before you kick off your snow boots and enjoy a cold one feel free to join the 2nd annual Sportscrack Bowl Pick Em Contest. Whomever gets the most points at the end of the contest gets their choice of prizes.

You can either get:
A)$75 worth of Sportscrack Tees and/or Drink Like A Champion Today Tees
B)A Full Size Replica Football helmet of your favorite team(can be NCAA or NFL)

Remember that you are only picking the winners of the bowl games and NOT betting against the spread. You will assign a point value to each bowl game in terms of your confidence level. For instance everybody with half a brain knows Florida is going to blow out Oklahoma in the BCS Title game so assign a ton of points to it.

If you have any questions feel free to email me at matt@sportscrack.com.

Beautiful Beer image above courtesy of Andrew Merriam.

Also, to anybody who won our weekly College Football Pick Em contest during the regular season, please email me at the same address and tell me which week you won along with your user name and we will arrange shipping you your free Sportscrack shirt. If you live in Canada then I'm sorry. No shipping across the border eh!

YANKEES SIGN C.C. SABATHIA TO $160 MILLION DOLLAR DEAL

This deal is wrong on so many levels I figured I would let a guy, actually a great writer named Dave O'Brien who covers the Atlanta Braves for the AJC.com, break it down with this comparison in terms of dollars in what Sabathia will get in New York to what future Hall of Famer Greg Maddux made during his entire career....

Just consider, Sabathia will make more during this deal than Greg Maddux, who retired Monday, made during his entire, spectacular 23-year career. Maddux made about $154 million and won 355 games, recording 109 complete games and 3,371 strikeouts in 5,008-1/3 innings and 740 starts.

Sabathia, 28, has 117 career wins and 1,659 innings.

After going 17-10 with 251 strikeouts in 253 innings this season, he would have to average 16.5 wins and 223 innings for the next 15 seasons to match Maddux.

So congratulations go out to the New York Yankees to getting Sabathia. They give him the richest contract ever for a pitcher surpassing Johan Santana's deal from last offseason and now rely on him to get them a World Series ring. This despite pitching nearly 750 innings the past 3 years and his ever growing waist which will break down his body eventually. Oh yeah, they also offered him a deal reportedly worth more than $60 million more than the nearest competitor for Sabathia's services. In a shitty economy. Now that is smart baseball.

GLEN "BIG BABY" DAVIS CRYING

I don't know how I missed this the other night. Oh yeah, I don't watch much NBA Basketball or really pay attention to it unless it's playoff time or the Atlanta Hawks are involved. Anyways, my buddy Billy pointed out this clip to me of Boston Celtic's Glen Davis, aka Big Baby, losing it after Kevin Garnett got on to his teammates during the Celtics blow out victory over the Portland Trailblazers on Friday night.

What a pussy! I mean come on man, show some fucking dignity. Davis obviously has some personal issues to deal with and I will admit I have cried numerous times in the past but I had good reasons. Women and Notre Dame football can be really painful to the heart. A teammate bitching you out is no reason to cry. Charlie Weis coming back for a fifth season and/or catching a swift kick in the balls from a girlfriend because you say she looks a little chubby lately are perfectly good reasons to shed tears.

If Sean Avery is going to get suspended for 6 games for a sloppy seconds comment then I think the NBA needs to come down hard on Big Baby. 10 games minimum for crying on the bench. It's only fair since athletes are apparently not allowed to express their feelings.

NEW TERMINATOR 4 TRAILER

I think we got a winner here. Christian Bale as John Connor is a perfect match. This film, with the right marketing could do Dark Knight numbers in the box office. If those motorcycles look familiar in the trailer then it's because they bring back memories of Batman's chopper so to speak.

There is no Arnold in this one from what I have heard. He is too busy terminating Prop 8 in California.

NEW MUSIC VIDEO BY ANDY SAMBERG

The same SNL guy who wrote "Dick in a Box" brings this dandy. Not as good as "Box" but "Jizzed in my Pants" is pretty catchy. If you look closely you will see a cameo by Justin Timberlake in the video. Also good to see Meadow get away from Turtle. This song will more than likely be heard at dance clubs all across the country now. If there are dance clubs still. I have no idea, I don't really go out anymore. My sponsor says it's not "conducive" to a healthy lifestyle. Whatever quitter.

ANTONIO BRYANT HAS THE CATCH OF THE YEAR

Before his 9 catch, 200 yard, 2 touchdown performance on Monday Night against the Carolina Panthers the only thing Antonio Bryant could catch were pink slips from past employers for being a malcontent. Tonight he turned in a career performance in a losing effort but this catch has to be one of the prettiest catches I have ever seen live on television.

With the Panthers win it opens the door for the Atlanta Falcons to get back into the playoff hunt. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers fall to 9-4 with a trip to the Georgia Dome ahead this Sunday. If the Falcons can win on their homefield (NFC South is 24-2 on their home turf) then they will be tied with the Bucs at 9-5 and have a really good chance of winning out with Minnesota and St. Louis left on the schedule.

It should get interesting. Somewhere Michael Vick weeps.

TEBOW TAKES DOWN BAMA, OKLAHOMO AWAITS

Video HT: EDSBS

Let me be not certainly the first but one of many to say the bowl matchups blow. Besides the BCS Title game the one game I am really looking forward to watching is the Poinsettia Bowl. Don't laugh. TCU is #11 in the BCS rankings and has a great defense and we all know Boise State who is #9 in the BCS can play with anybody. It's a shame these two programs got shafted into a bottom tier bowl game when they should be given the chance to play in higher payout one such as the BCS. December 23rd just doesn't sound like a date you want to be playing your bowl game on but whatever, the bowl system is corrupt.

I see for some reason the Gaytors are now 3 point UNDERDOGS to Oklahomo according to Vegas. Actually let me change my reaction. I'm completely shocked Tim Tebow would be considered an underdog in a game where he could tear apart a very suspect Sooners defense in the state of Florida. The Sooners are scoring at will but they have yet to face such an athletic and fast defense that the Gators have.

I would scoop up that 3 points and bet heavily for Florida. I'm sure that line has to change(another fucking month till they play) so if you have confidence in the Gators to beat the shit out of Oklahoma like I do right now then bet now.

I feel bad for the Texas Longhorns today. I also feel bad for Penn State, Utah, Boise State, Texas Tech and yes, even USC. All of these teams should be given a chance to play for a National Championship in a playoff system. It's a shame that two of these teams are undefeated(Utah and Boise State) and all the other ones have one loss but were not deemed worthy enough to play in a title game in which both Florida and Oklahoma have one huge L themselves this season.

What do you guys think about the matchups in the bowls? Are you excited? Could you care less and now look forward to watching the NFL where they actually play for a true champion?



At least the college presidents get off on the BCS games like John C Reilly gets off on customer satisfaction...

GREG MADDUX RETIRES

355 career wins and a career 3.12 ERA get Greg Maddux into the Hall of Fame as a first ballot. Oh yeah, his WHIP secured the first ballot. Ignore his wins and ERA because they don't matter as much as the stat of WHIP. Maddux was an under appreciated superstar pitcher. A pitching nerd in his own right, he won 4 straight Cy Youngs from 1992-95 for the Cubs and the Braves. He will no doubt go into Cooperstown wearing a Braves hat and will be the first "Atlanta" Brave to do so. Remember Hank played most of his career in Milwaukee. The Mad Dog was also in one of the best Nike commercials ever...



Chicks did the long ball. Stat nerds dig the WHIP.

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND FOLKS!

Since I've somehow managed to go the whole week without mentioning the SEC Championship even though it's the biggest game of the year in college football and it's right down the street from my house I feel the need to give a prediction.

The Florida Gators as you probably know come in extremely hot having ripped off blowout after blowout since the tough loss at home to Ole Miss. The X factor in this game for the Gators is Percy Harvin. Will he play is the question? He has a nagging ankle which could either prevent him from playing or limit his Madden-like moves and acceleration(not likely because he is Superhuman as is Tim Tebow). The Gators are 10 point favorites despite playing an Alabama team which has the better defense.

Defense usually wins championships and with big boy Terrance Cody on the line Bama has been able to control the line of scrimmage. Vegas seems to think it will be a blowout but I don't see it that way. Bama can play tough, hard nosed football and will look to control the clock and the line of scrimmage. They have already dominated one top ten team in the Georgia Dome with Clemson at the beginning of the season. Granted Clemson wound up with Dabo Swinney at the end of the year as their head coach. Now that I think about it Alabama has basically been an integral part of 4 head coaches losing their jobs so far. First Tommy Bowden. After that is was Phil Fulmer. Then Sylvester Croom. And finally last week they somehow managed Auburn into thinking Tommy Tuberville wasn't right for them. Auburn officials are morons by the way. So could this be the last game we see Urban Meyer at Florida with an upset in the making? (My ND heart and soul hope so)

NOPE. Florida wins a close one(so take Bama with the points) to advance to the BCS Title game to face the Oklahoma Sooners who will dismantle Mizzou. Remember people, Tebow always gets what he wants...