If you watched last night's battle on ESPN between Nebraska and Missouri you should have noticed #93 Ndamukong Suh for the Cornhuskers was completely dominating and making himself a future #1 overall NFL draft pick. In honor of Ndamukong, which literally translates to "House of Spears", we made this shirt for all the Nebraska fanatics. The guy is a beast and deserves some recognition from the Sportscrack nation. Big props go out to Dana for sending in the idea.
It's an old video but still enjoyable just in the fact you can see Jessica Biel dancing her arse off (which will never bother me) while Ellen sits there rocking the high hard one salivating how she can convince the actress to come into her dressing room.
I wanted to apologize for the lack of posts lately and I figured this video could be a peace offering of sorts. Normal everyday life has been busy as shit (not complaining) and my wife and I were dealing with what we thought would be the closing of a foreclosed house we wanted to buy. FYI don't ever go into a FHA loan or deal with a bank like Fannie Mae in regards to a foreclosure without fully expecting to get Roman Polanski'd before you can even call the house your own. It always amazes me how banks, government, lenders, etc. can take something so simple and make it so fucking complicated that you basically have to walk away. Oh yeah and anybody trying to sell their house right now and not lose a considerable portion if not all of their equity I feel for ya. But we are not hear to talk about the housing market. Fuck it.
The MLB playoffs started yesterday and as you can tell I really have 0.1% interest in it. It seems to be the same old shit. The teams that spend money make the playoffs (unless you're the Mets, Cubs and Tigers who are traditional losers) and the teams that can't afford it don't make it. Right now if I had money on the playoffs I think I would have to go with a Yankees-Phillies World Series. Yep, two teams I really don't like and a World Series I would choose to watch as much as that mythical Subway Series a few years back. I still have no clue who won it nor choose to acknowledge it ever happened. Listen, I love baseball. I have played the game since I could walk. I have my two favorite teams in the Baltimore Orioles and Atlanta Braves and stick with them through thick and thin. Until one of those two organizations make the playoffs again then I'm going to continue to ignore the MLB playoffs and focus my attention on football. The Orioles of course hit rock bottom this year (finished last in the AL) while breaking in a bunch of rookies (Matt Wieters, Nolan Reimold, Brian Matusz, Chris Tillman, Brad Bergesen, etc.) who look to be either future Superstars to help lead the Orioles back to the playoffs or help out the Yankees and Red Sox once they reach free agency. It's the sad but realistic truth. The Braves on the other hand should have made the playoffs this season especially with their pitching. I was completely wrong on Javier Vasquez. The guy was brilliant all season. Same with Jair Jurrjens and rookie phenom Tommy Big Red Hanson. Derek Lowe's contract looks bad right now but hopefully the Braves can unload it this offseason for a bat, any bat. The hitting was horrible all season most notably the outfield. If the Braves had the money like the Red Sox, Yankees, and others they would have had Tommy Hanson in Atlanta straight out of Spring Training because he was the most impressive pitcher by far according to the coaches and players and they would have had Jason Heyward playing right field by midseason. Instead they waited on Hanson to avoid a season of free agency because it was the right business move at the time and they kept Heyward in the minors all year for the same reason. As much as I hate to say it if both of these guys were on the team the whole season the Braves would have made the playoffs in my opinion.
But honestly who gives a shit once football season rolls around? This time next week I will be in South Bend waiting for what I'm hoping to be the game of my life. Yes, I do still believe Notre Dame will beat USC on October 17th 2009. I will be charging the field and wrestling down the field goal posts along with 80,000 others when the final whistle blows. I have been dreaming about this game for 3 years now. It's time for Notre Dame to get back their respect and show everybody that they finally deserve their own TV contract. Jimmy, Golden, and the Hawaiian Hitman are going to become legends in Rock's Stadium October 17th. The cycle is finally going to turn in favor of the Fighting Irish.
I'm going to go 1 in a 100 if he isn't paying. I've never seen a guy so pumped up to be playing the Cocks in my life. It's like he painted himself white because he knew the Cocks could explode all over the Dawgs that day. Luckily Georgia's Joe Cox came through and won the game or else this kid might have looked pretty stupid wearing white. It's not like he was at his normal Klan meeting. Those are only on Sundays. Duh!
Minnesota Viking's defensive end/manchild Jared Allen had a hell of a game last night with 3.5 sacks to help Brett Favre beat his old team in the Green Bay Packers. I'm not here to talk about Favre. I could actually give a shit about giving that guy anymore news than he deserves. Jared Allen is why this blog exists. His mullet does it for me. Like the Hitler stache the mullet has been out of style for years. Why? Well if I need to explain it then I am really surprised you can even read and/or write or even know how to operate a computer without beating on it like a monkey.
The point is Allen is bringing back the mullet no matter how much he might get ridiculed. In fact he has been trying to bring it back since his playing days in Kansas City. In Missouri the mullet is almost as cherished as the St. Louis Cardinals and dentures. Take a look at this video of Mullet man explaining his doo...
I enjoy Allen. He seems to be the NFL's version of Kenny Powers. The guy wears #69 for a reason ladies. He has a sense of humor and doesn't take himself too seriously. Check out this shirt he is wearing to an interview with Fox Sports...
Since I own my own "fashion" t-shirt business I have tried to stay away from criticizing brands like Ed Hardy and Affliction. Mostly because the guys who wear them are bigger than me and could quite possibly be retarded. If you learn one thing in life let it be this: never get in a fight with a retard. Their strength is superhuman. Plus you will look bad in the long run because seriously, who fights retards? And no, I'm not making fun of mentally challenged people. Just people who wear Ed Hardy and/or Affliction shirts.
Take a look at this view and you tell me why AJ Green and Georgia got called for an unsportansmanlike penalty with just over a minute left in their game against LSU...
The Bulldogs got called for a 15 yard penalty after the refs on the field ruled that the Green Machine was guilty of unsportsmanlike conduct. Where the fuck is it? The Bulldogs, who just got a 13-12 lead over LSU with 1:09 left, were forced to kick off from their 15 yard line. LSU quickly scored thanks to the great field position because of the penalty and the fact that they couldn't tackle kick returner Trindon Holliday and RB Charles Scott. I'm not taking anything away from LSU. They fought the good battle and probably deserved to win this game fair and square. But why in the hell do refs throw flags in these situations?
Georgia just scored the go-ahead touchdown and of course they are going to celebrate like madmen. This is college football. Nothing AJ Green did warrants the "unsportsmanlike conduct" and yesterday it was confirmed by Roger Reddings, the SEC supervisor of officials, that the penalty shouldn't have been called. The refs need to have discretion when it comes to calling these penalties. You don't call this shit when it can affect the outcome of the game. Unless Green pulled a slash throat move or flicked the other team off there is no good reason to throw a flag there.
No truth to the rumor that the referees who called the Georgia-LSU game have been promoted to the Big Ten officiating crew. What do you guys think about the call and timing of it all?
You won the bid for the 2016 Olympic Summer Games over Chicago and Madrid and if there was any doubt as to why they were picked then you just haven't been paying attention to Rio...
No more Butts about it. Rio De Janeiro and Brazil deserved it.
I can't believe I never thought of this before. Semenholes is even funnier than Criminoles. FSU now sits at 2-3 after getting dismantled by Boston College. How does Bobby Bowden still have a job? I know he is just a figurehead and all but FSU has been on a slow decline for the past 7 years. He is still getting athletes yet they still can't score any points. If Offensive Coordinator Jimbo Fischer is suppose to replace Bobby then I guess that is one of the reasons why he is hanging on (actually the main one is because he wants to finish with more victories than JoePa) because Fisher's offenses have blown. I wonder if FSU fans still blame Chris Rix for all their troubles?
Kyle Stinkin Orton has replaced Jay Cutler in Denver and now has the Broncos sitting pretty at 4-0. Who would have guessed that? Don't even raise your hand liar. Brandon Marshall may be a pain in the ass to deal with in the clubhouse but look at what this psycho does on the field. He made the Cowboys look like Cowgirls. Fantastic.
ESPN disorderly personality Mark May made the above gesture when Lou Holtz mentioned Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen as a Heisman Trophy frontrunner after leading the Irish to their third straight last second win with a game winning drive. Clausen now leads the nation in passing efficiency while completing over 67% of his passes with a 12 TD-to-2 INT rate. But why would Mark May care? He would rather be doing other things apparently. Jimmy does appear to be the leading guy to win the Stiff Arm Statue because Tim Tebow is hurt and probably shouldn't play this week against LSU, Colt McCoy has been very average, and Sam Bradford was eliminated as soon as he went down with the shoulder injury against BYU. The only way Jimmy wins it though is if Notre Dame can beat USC on October 17th. Right now there is little doubt in my mind he is the best quarterback in the nation and he has matured into a leader. If Notre Dame did not have Clausen then they would be 1-4 right now. Seriously. If the Heisman goes to the best player in the nation then it would be hard to argue that Jimmy isn't it right now.
It's been a tough week for me and I don't want to bore you with it so I will leave you with this: Drink lots of beer this weekend and root for your favorite team. Weekdays sucks, weekends rock. Let's do it right. Tailgate, beer, babes, football, black outs. What more could a guy or gal ask for?
And remember that alcohol makes everything better...
Here is our brand new THE GREEN MACHINE 8 shirt. We have had a ton of requests for this shirt to be made so I expect them to sell like crazy. Crazy like band boy ass crazy. If anybody is offended by this shirt or has a problem with it (Sierra Club, hippies, etc.) then you can email me at gofukurself@sportscrack.com.
I say this because today I was informed by a guy who runs a website that we paid to advertise on that he would no longer be doing business together because he was offended by our shirts such as the Ginas and the Gaytors shirts. I'm going to say this again, our shirts are all meant to be in good humor. If you find them offensive well then I am sorry. But you can get your liberal ass out of here if you think I am going to stop selling these shirts because your panties got a little wet when you saw one of our fucking shirts.
So in conclusion, free speech wins baby! God bless America and don't ever expect to see any PC shit here. Hoorah!
Talk about your all-time fuckup, fast forward to the 1:28 part of this video and see how Casey Babcock displays his inner Leon Lett...
Casey will never live down the embarrassment of that moment. In fact his life is about to spiral for the worst. No doubt about it. Here is what he will look like in 15 years....
"Jimmy is ready to go today. Jimmy's back. Armando's back. We're ready to go." - Charlie Weis
From IrishIllustrated comes this wonderful quote from today's presser with Notre Dame head coach Charlie Weis. Thank God. Notre Dame's offense struggled for the first time all season thanks in part to losing Michael Floyd for the season the week before but a large part of it was not having Armando Allen in the backfield and Jimmy Clausen playing half a game due to turf toe. If Notre Dame is going to outscore their opponents this season (trust me their defense can't stop shit right now) they are going to have to rely on Clausen and Armando getting the majority of the playing reps. Clausen is one of the top 3 quarterbacks in the nation right now and sealed one of those signature moments in Irish history when he came off the bench to help lead Notre Dame to a tough road victory in the final seconds with a winning touchdown pass to tight end Kyle Rudolph. The backup Dayne Crist is a great player himself but Jimmy is the clear leader of the offense and makes it work with his incredible accuracy and experience. Notre Dame also has a ton of depth at the tailback position but "MANDO" as I call him is the most dependable and has turned himself into a top 10 back in the nation with his 326 rushing yards in the first 3 games.
Having Jimmy and Mando back gives Notre Dame an extra 10 points at the very least in my opinion this weekend against a dangerous Washington team. Notre Dame has to win and hopefully convincingly instead of giving me cardiac arrest once again. They have an off week to prepare for their biggest game of the season: USC. Jimmy and Mando will help determine whether or not Notre Dame is ready to step up to the big boy table and finally slay their arch rival Trojans. The FUPA's job is on the line as well. I can't wait.
The Seattle Seahawks wore their bright lime throwback jerseys this past week against the Chicago Bears and they did what every Seahawks team has done: they choked away a win. But who gives a shit, it's the Seahawks. What was really cool to see was one of my favorite Notre Dame players of all-time, Julius Jones, give a little tribute touchdown dance to none other than past wrestling greats Jeff Jarrett and Ric Flair. Awesome.
EDIT: As pointed out by one of our great readers Jeff this move was "Technically speaking, the move he was doing was originated by wrestling legend Jackie Fargo, who was the King of Memphis wrestling BEFORE Jerry Lawler." So there you go, thanks for the heads up Jeff!
AJ Green is the second best receiver in the country behind Michael Floyd and showed why he will be a top NFL pick after next season with this catch and juke against Arizona State in between the hedges...
And just when you think he can't do anything more on offense Coach Richt decides to loan him to special teams and he comes up with the field goal block to save the game...
AJ Green deserves a mountain full of naked coeds with little ambition other than nailing the football star. He earned his poon Saturday night.
Congratulations go out to the Detroit Lions for breaking the streak and winning their first regular season NFL game since 2007. Thanks to Washington Redskins QB Jason Campbell and his "shlippery" balls the Lions finally caught a break and ended their 19 game losing streak. The Deadskins are now right up there with the Raiders as one of those once proud NFL franchises turned shit. Both have dickheads for owners and morons for quarterbacks. Those fan bases deserve better and shouldn't have to deal with shlippery excuses.
You can always rely on the Nappy Valley fanatics to keep it real classy when it comes to signs at Gameday. Iowa went on that night to beat up Penn State and stay undefeated at 4-0 while handing the JoePa's their first loss of the season. It's good to see the Coaches poll recognized this huge road win by Iowa and put them 17th. What makes it ridiculous is the fact they have Penn State 13th in the same poll. Umm, I take it they don't even watch the games. Bias much?
