Family Feud Gets Raunchy

Hey the Pastor's wife is going for the money so cum sounds like the perfect answer. You can't tell me it's not up in the top 7 things you put in your mouth but don't swallow. Come on Family Feud! By the way I shared a craps table once with Steve Harvey and his "entourage" at the Bellagio in Vegas. It wasn't a high rollers table or anything but you should have seen the way he was dressed and the way he acted. He literally was dressed like a pimp (top hat and shit you not he was in full suit and had a cane) and granted he's not a huge celebrity or anything but he would not acknowledge anybody else at the craps table. He had that "I'm better than you so I'm not going to talk to you" attitude. Essentially it will be the same attitude I'll be sporting this week up at Notre Dame whenever I run into a USC fan. Because seriously fuck those peasants.

Jadeveon Clowney does his best Waterboy impersonation

That boy must drink some high quality H2O. I don't know who I feel worse for on the Mississippi State team. The left tackle who got crossed up and never had a chance to lay a hand on Clowney? Or what about the runningback who tries to step up and block the manchild only to get blown up? Also an argument could be made for the quarterback who gets stripped. Clowney has to be the freshman defensive player of the year.

Offensively there is no question who the best freshman is. He too plays in the Palmetto State. Sammy Watkins of Clemson only put up about 350 total yards against Maryland Saturday night. Watkins is scary good.

Jim Harbaugh Doesn't Have Time For Jim Schwartz' Handshake

I got no pony in this fight but doesn't Detroit Lion's head coach Jim Schwartz look like a total dipshit trying to track down 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh and fight him? I mean come on Schwartz...who you fooling? You are not going to fight Harbaugh. Listen I'm not the biggest fan of Harbaugh since his Stanford team beat Notre Dame the past two seasons but the guy has passion and when you go in for a handshake after an emotional, hard fought win wouldn't you expect a hard handshake with a pat to the back? It just comes with the territory. The Detroit Lions are finally moving in the right direction with a team that is loaded with Megatron and House Of Spears dominating but now I'm afraid you got an idiot head coach who could ruin it all. Schwartz you are the coach. Not the player. Know your role boy.

Tyrann "Honey Badger" Mathieu Video

Thanks for the treat stupid! Honey Badger don't give a shit! He takes what he wants!

Vinnie Verno Occupies Vegas with his Week 7 No Hippies Lock

Alabama -25 over Ole Miss - The Old Elephant Crap Game of the Year
Oklahoma State -7.5 over Texas - The Longhorns Suck Game of the Year
Hawaii -6.5 over San Jose State - The Hawaiian Massacre Part 3 Game of the Year
Toledo -7 over Bowling Green - The Life Savings Game of the Year
Utah State -3.5 over Fresno - The NBA Lockout Schmock Out Game of the Year

Vinnie has 5 blood baths with 5 massacres that will occupy Las Vegas with these picks. Bama and Okie State should shit all over their conference opponents this week. At this point the best teams have to run up the scores to get the voters attention. I've already lost money on Hawaii and Toledo so I'm not touching that shit with Ashton Kutcher's rawdogging cock. The final pick sounds right. Utah State is good and Fresno is fucking terrible. It won't save the NBA but honestly who gives a shit about the NBA?

LSUFreek on Cam Newton

This has to be one of the best ones LSUFreek has ever done. Just perfect. Slow clap.

The Honey Badger TM7 Takes What He Wants Shirt

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Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to take a 175 mph squash ball to the back? This bloke did

Cameron Pilley is the current world record holder for fastest squash ball hit at 175 mph according to his YouTube account. After watching his brother take one straight to the back who am I to argue with speed? Literally there is a chunk of his back dented in from impact. I imagine this is what it felt like to porn actresses back in the day who had the privilege to work with John Holmes. Those Aussies are a lot tougher than they appear. Crazier too.

Via HotClicks

The Avengers Trailer...Fuck Yeah!

Yeah definitely one of those flicks you have to see on the big screen. I'm just going to go ahead and put this out there: The Avengers will smash box office records. Even a semi functional retard like myself can see that. It's like the first time I saw Andrew Luck play against Notre Dame in person or Darren McFadden tote the rock vs Georgia. You just know when you are watching greatness. The Avengers trailer oozes it.

USC Football Has A New Theme Song

I can't wait till Notre Dame sends USC back into the dark ages in 11 days. It's going to be glorious to see the men of Troy cave under their bitch of a coach in Lane Kiffin. Since Kiffin has arrived I'm pretty much positive he's infected the whole program with AIDS. Nobody in their right mind wants to touch them after losing 30 scholarships and a postseason ban of 2 years because of their AIDS. USC is just in a sad, sad state of mind right now. It's time for Brian Kelly and the rest of the Fighting Irish football team to kill them off and give them mercy. RIP USC. Or shall I say FUSC?

Further Proof Virginia Tech Needs to go to the SEC: Lane Stadium Going Crazy

Holy shit I got goosebumps watching the end of this Miami-Virginia Tech game. Metallica's Enter Sandman blaring on the speakers. Hokies everywhere jumping up and down. The place looked like it was going through a fucking earthquake they way it was shaking. This is why Va Tech needs to go to the SEC. They bring passion and emotion and a great atmosphere that you don't see anywhere else. If the SEC wants to continue to dominate the college football landscape I would recommend gobbling up the Hokies and pass on Mizzou.

Video HT: Will Ward

Top 10 College Football

1. LSU-The Mad Hatter completely beat the living piss out of Muschamp and Weis last week 41-11 in a game that wasn't even that close. The Tigers offense isn't spectacular by any means but it is efficient and the defense is right up there with Bama for best in the nation. They should beat the Vols this week by at least 3 scores.

2. Alabama-Bama didn't play great last week but they still covered the 29 pt spread (thank you very much) and handled Vandy with a 34-0 win. If Trent Richardson wants to get more Heisman consideration he is going to have to hope his backup Eddie Lacy doesn't overshadow him. The Tide have a couple of bye weeks ahead with Ole Miss and Tennessee on the schedule before the National Title game Nov. 5th.

3. Stanford-The Cardinal are 5-0 against the spread and continue to absolutely dominate every single team on their schedule. Granted it's not been the best schedule but the fact that Andrew Luck has been near perfect this season and the Cardinal continue to push around the opposition on both sides of the ball tells you how great this team is.

4. Oklahoma-The Sooners dominated Texas behind a defense that created 5 turnovers by a score of 55-17. Landry Jones finally seems to be finding his groove. I could see the Sooners going undefeated and being left out of the BCS Title game especially if FSU which was seen as a quality win continues to shit the bed.

5. Wisconsin-The Badgers had an off week after throttling Nebraska. Looking at their schedule it's a strong possibility they go undefeated considering the Big Ten is kind of shitty and they don't have Michigan on the schedule. Russell Wilson is having a great season but please people, stop with the Heisman talk.

6. Boise State-The Broncos made up for not covering the spread against Nevada the week before by demolishing Fresno State 57-7 last week. Kellen Moore was again near perfect and like Wisconsin I don't see anybody on their schedule beating them. There is a good chance we could have 5 undefeated teams at the end of the year (LSU/Alabama, Stanford, Oklahoma, Wisconsin, and Boise State) and obviously Boise would be left out.

7. Oklahoma State-The #1 scoring offense in the nation put up 56 points in the FIRST HALF against Kansas on their way to a 70-28 win in Stillwater. Granted Kansas has the worst defense in the nation but still, 56 points is damn impressive. The Cowboys have a good team but their defense is fucking terrible. Eventually it will catch up with them. They are ranked 71st in the nation.

8. Clemson-The Tigers slept walk last week against Boston College and still won by 3 TDs. They are on a collision course at Georgia Tech on October 29th in a matchup of what hopefully will be two undefeated teams that don't have a shot at reaching the BCS Title game. Tajh Boyd got a little banged up but should be back this week vs Maryland.

9. Oregon-The Ducks survived a scare when LaMichael James dislocated his elbow vs California but at this point it doesn't matter. The Ducks offense has been unstoppable since losing their opener vs LSU. They could have a tough battle this week vs Arizona State.

10. Michigan-Trust me it pains me to put the Wolverines this high because honestly they aren't as good as their record indicates but they are undefeated and I have to rank them above Georgia Tech and Illinois. They will get a test this week with their in-state rival Michigan State coming to Ann Arbor for a noon clash. It wouldn't shock me to see Denard throw 20 duckfarts up in the air and somehow get 400 yards passing out of it.

Chicks in Thongs Fighting

Usually when I go to a Chinese restaurant I expect a smile, some egg drop soup, pot stickers, and some mongolian beef finished off with a dry fortune cookie. Apparently I've been going to the wrong one since Chin Chin or PF Changs don't have chicks in thongs destroying the shit out of the joint while fighting with no pants on. Seriously what the fuck happened to their bottoms? Trust me I'm not complaining but I'm utterly confused. Have bottoms become optional in Chinese establishments?

College Football Has To Get Rid of The Taunting Rule

In the final outcome it didn't really matter since LSU absolutely throttled Florida and easily covered the 16 points but this new taunting rule is fucking ridiculous. I've watched the replay about 6 times and I can't see anything unsportsmanlike about it. LSU punter Brad Wing was having a little fun going into the endzone and opened up his arms. Big deal. He didn't point at a Gator or flick off anybody or do any high stepping. Are we not allowed to have fun in college football anymore?

The new rule in Section 2 of the NCAA Rule Book says that an unsportsmanlike act (in other words celebrating) will result in "if the penalty occurs before the play is dead, it is ruled a live ball foul and the penalty is enforced from the spot of the foul (where the player's feet are at the beginning of the act)" so not only did Wing get a touchdown taken off his one fucking chance in his life but then LSU got a 15 yard penalty from the spot. This rule is so fucking dumb it's not even up for debate. They are kids who bust their ass and when they finally get a chance at glory the NCAA is going to pull this shit and strip it away. For fucking celebrating?

Obviously I am flabbergasted and feel like I should write a letter to the NCAA complaining about it but then again I am lazy and would rather drink myself into forgetting this ever happened. What I am saying is somebody else needs to contact the NCAA. Just don't do it with your arms spread open or they might pull the Gestapo on you.

LaMichael James is One Tough Hombre

LaMichael James may not be the biggest guy (generously listed at 5'9 185 lbs) but no one can ever question his toughness after this gruesome injury last night vs Cal...


I was watching the game live and when it happened I thought James' right arm exploded. Seriously I almost threw up watching the replay. I thought for sure there was a broken arm, ligaments, elbow, whatever. But nope apparently James is the fucking Terminator who can regenerate himself. Check out his postgame interview...


So yeah there are no broken bones. No ligament damage. And James might play next week versus Arizona State. Holy shit this guy is tough. It takes me weeks to recover from a hard sneeze. But not James. All he has to do is pop his arm back in place, put on a smile, and he is ready to get back on the field.


Yeah no big deal. Just "pop it back in" for James. The junior from Texarkana, TX is no doubt the leader of that Ducks squad. I love his attitude and for a guy who led the nation in rushing last season and currently leads this year you can't ever doubt that he puts everything out on the field. Now excuse me while I go throw up again.

Denard Robinson's Ex Girlfriend Hacked His Twitter Account

Ok let me try to say this as nicely as possible without sounding like a dick and offending my wife, family etc. But what the fuck did Denard Robinson's ex-girlfriend expect? The guy is in college, famous, and probably has every chick with two legs hitting on him and telling him they would do anything for him. Of course he is going to cheat on you. See there is a different code when it comes to famous people and boring people like myself and the other 6 people who read this blog. We don't have females throwing themselves at us. I honestly can't remember the last time a girl tried to get in my pants. And yes I'm including my wife. Love you honey! I can only imagine what it's like for Shoelace. He's the big man on campus. We all know Ann Arbor is a Whore. Denard can't help himself. He's only human. It's like this Ashton Kutcher fucking two chicks in a hot tub story. Of course he is. The guy is fucking famous. Why wouldn't he? I guess I just never understand why these girls get mad when they should know what they are getting into. And the roles could be reverse quite honestly. If I was dating some famous chick, say Jennifer Aniston, I would fully expect her to be banging other dudes on the side. It's a fucked up world but it's the truth. Famous athletes and celebrities don't have to follow the rules. They make them.



Twitter image via BarStoolSports

Vinnie Verno with his LOCKTOBER Picks

Georgia -1 over Tennessee
Texas +10 over Oklahoma
Iowa +4 over Penn State
Alabama -29 over Vandy
South Carolina -21 over Kentucky

Vinnie looks pretty good this week with his picks. Definitely digging the Dawgs Hob Nailed boot pick and the Iowa bermuda grass grows pick. I think UGA wins easily in Knoxville. Nobody in Tennessee wearing creamsicle will be able to stop Orson Charles, Malcolm Mitchell, and Isaiah Crowell. Penn State is complete garbage right now and kind of remind of the Miami Dolphins. I literally cringe anytime those teams are on television because you know it will be the most watered down, boring non fuckfest on tv that day. Bama should cruise over Vandy. But that is a big spread. And honestly I have no clue about Texas and South Carolina covering or beating the spread with their shitty quarterbacks. For all I know Stephen Garcia is shit face right now (chances 99.9%) and "accidently" falls into Marcus Lattimore's leg and Tyrone Prothro's him. So in conclusion I'm going with Vinnie on Georgia, Iowa, and Alabama. But I'm staying away from the Texas and South Carolina picks.

What games do you see as easy money this week? Trust me I need the help. Last week was my first losing week thanks to fucking Georgia Tech and Boise State getting backdoored and Navy getting a bull shit celebration penalty.

Hank Williams Jr. Apologizes for Comparing Obama to Hitler Comments

Hank Williams, Jr. Apologizes from Hank Williams Jr

I think we can all accept Hank Williams Jr. heartfelt apology. He seems contrite. Now WHO'S READY FOR SOME FUTBAWL?

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Colt's Eric Foster Has A Sore Ankle Today

Ouch.

Been there.

Experienced that.

The Colt's season just got a little tougher to handle. Peyton Manning's career is for all intended purposes done and now not only are you 0-4 but you have great guys like defensive lineman Eric Foster going down with flipper ankles. Just absolutely brutal.

Video via TheBigLead