The Return of Pat Burrell

"Once you go Pat you never go back!"

Albert Pujols With The Roid Rage On Erick Aybar

Come on Albert. So what if you are struggling to hit the Mendoza line and drive in more runs in a whole season than what Josh Hamilton does in one game? It's no reason to take your roid rage out on teammate Erick Aybar especially after a win! Granted Aybar did hit Pujols' elbow and not his hand but it's not like he peppered his balls with a glove slap. Lighten up Albert. You got hundreds of millions to not live up to. No reason to go throwing hissy fits on your teammates.

Via TheBigLead

Bobby Petrino's Beat-Up Hog For Sale

Via Kegs N Eggs is the news that Bobby Petrino has decided to put his Hog, yes the one he crashed in with Jessica Dorrell, up for auction. The current bid is $4000 and the 2007 Harley Davidson is reportedly worth $18,000. Sorry guys but the blonde is not included with the purchase price. That will cost you your dignity and your job.

May 10th Small Business Special - RG3 Skins T-shirts Only $10

Today only you can get our original RG3 Skins t-shirt for only $10. That's almost 50% off the regular price. You can order as many as you want and we have sizes small thru 3XL in stock and ready to ship. Spread the word SportsCrack nation. The sale is only good for today! RG3 Skins May 10th Special $10

San Diego Fan Slugs Foul Ball Beer

This guy is clearly a SportsCrack fan. So what if the ball has a little dirt on it. It's in the beer now so you have to slug it! Bravo to this young Padres fan in his vintage Tony Gwynn jersey for stepping up and delivering one for the home crowd.

Josh Hamilton On A Wet Tarp Is Intoxicating

Arguably the game's best player who is in his contract year doesn't really worry about how a giant slip n slide-like tarp could effect his market value. Josh Hamilton has hit 5 home runs in his last 6 at-bats (the other was a double that came short about 5 feet) and if he damn well wants to act like a kid during a rain delay in Baltimore then so be it.

Play on playa.

Rajon Rondo is a Prick, Wears Awful Clothing

Thank you Charles Barkley. It's one thing to be a prick to everybody like Rajon Rondo usually is but it's a whole other ballgame when you wear shitty clothing. I mean look at that fucking jacket! Even Craig Sager wouldn't put that shit on. If you wonder why people are laughing at you then with you Rondo you might want to look in the mirror bro. So don't be mad at everybody else Rondo because you lost to the Hawks and you wear Liberace jackets because we all know you are really just mad at yourself.

Video via BarStoolSports

Josh Hamilton Slugs 4 Home Runs

I watched the Orioles/Rangers game last night and after the first inning in which Josh Hamilton took a high breaking ball from Jake Arrieta deep to center I said to myself "do not pitch to him again." Well the Orioles and Buck Showalter decided to keep pitching to him and he made them pay all night. 4 home runs. 18 total bases. 8 RBIs. Hambone is a fucking beast and even as an Orioles fan it was entertaining to see somebody do something remarkable that had only happened 15 times before. But seriously Showalter what the fuck were you thinking? Stop pitching to him. Walk him. Hambone is scary Barry Bonds on steroids hot.

By the way those Klondike Choco Tacos look awesome. I haven't had one of those since I was picking celery out of my braces. Basically what I am saying is the commercial worked. I'm a fucking sucker.

Notre Dame To Wear Adidas Irish Flag Cleats for Ireland Game

Yesterday Notre Dame equipment manager Ryan Grooms tweeted the above image in which is suppose to be the football cleats the team wears when they battle Navy in Dublin in early September. They look like a cross between a Mexican soccer cleat and an University of Miami sneaker. For one game they aren't bad and I'm sure the tape they use will cover up most of the cleat. Personally I would have put a shamrock on there along with a Guinness but that's just me the drunk talking.

Eli Manning SNL Sketch: Little Brothers

Via HotClicks

Irish Mafia...My People Will Get You T-Shirt

Taking orders now on the brand new Irish Mafia...My People Will Get You t-shirt. If you have been listening to the news you know what this is all about Irish fans. Shirts start at $15 and we have sizes small-3XL. Just click on the picture above to go order one.

Also we got this new one for Crazy Purple Kelly Face...

Jered Weaver Celebrates His No Hitter With A Bud Light Pour Over His Catcher's Head

I like Weaver's style. Screw the champagne. Real baseball players pour Bud Light cans over their catcher's head after tossing a no-hitter.

Via Andy Gray

Thank You Chipper

Chipper Jones just continues to do his Hall of Fame swag all over MLB's face. Another walk-off, 2-run homer for the recently turned 40-year-old shows the old man still has it when he can manage to get on the field. God I wish the Braves played in the American League so Chipper could DH and play every day.

Notre Dame Quarterback Tommy Rees Arrested, ND Nation Rejoices

There should be no more quarterback controversy at Notre Dame with the arrest of returning junior starter Tommy Rees last night. WNDU.com was the first to report the arrest.

The charges against Rees include a felony. He was arrested for resisting law enforcement, battery to law enforcement, minor consumption and public intoxication.

Police were called to the home on Notre Dame Avenue due to a noise complaint. According to a source, Rees-- who does not turn 20 until May 22nd-- freaked out when he saw police because he was underage and had been drinking. Rees tried to run off and hit an officer in the process of being caught. He was maced before being taken into custody.

Who was Tommy Rees fooling? There was no way he was outrunning anybody without being intercepted. Rees started 12 of 13 games last season for the Fighting Irish as they went 8-5. It's safe to assume he will no longer be in consideration for the starter's job for head coach Brian Kelly.

In conclusion: Everett Golson just won the starting QB job. Thank you football gods.

RIP Junior Seau

Today the world lost one of the greatest all-time middle linebackers to ever play the game with the shocking news of Junior Seau's death. Seau was one of the most ferocious players on the field while building a Hall of Fame career in San Diego after his collegiate days in USC. Many of middle linebackers wore #55 because of Seau and I think it would be appropriate for USC to retire his number now since so many players pick it because of Junior. While I do tend to give grief to anybody who is associated with USC (even my sister who goes there) I once met Junior while out partying in Buckhead many years ago. Very nice guy and a fun guy to be around was the feeling me and my buddies got that night despite myself pestering him since he was a Trojan.

RIP Junior Seau. You will me missed. Seau is now the 8th member of the 1994 San Diego Chargers AFC Championship team to pass away. The oldest member was 53. Man that just doesn't seem right.

April Fail Video

I can't ever get enough of these fail videos. Especially when it involves kids, dogs, drunk people, and skate boarders. In short a typical weekend at the Fairchilds.

Bryce Harper Has A Great Haircut

Somehow last week I forgot to mention Bryce Harper was going to make his major league debut but between the golf and the drinking it managed to drown itself. But let's not talk about his debut (1-3 with a double and RBI) and instead let's focus on his fantastic coif of hair. It's a combination of Kenny Powers meets Barry Melrose. It's so fucking awful I actually like it. I'm sure the ladies in DC are just ready to run their dirty little hands through his glorious mop.

By the way what the fuck is up with chicks shaving one side of their heads nowadays? I saw Rihanna sporting it (think Gary Oldham's haircut in Fifth Element) and the first thing I thought besides what a disgusting filthy whore she is was my lord what a disgusting filthy dirty whore haircut she has. Please ladies I'm already sick of seeing Pirate hooker tattoos all over your bodies I don't know if I could put up with the Fifth Element haircut. Just stop it please. It's neither trendy or cool. It's just flat out dumb.

Andrew Luck's Girlfriend is a Gymnast

Andrew Luck may not have a Heisman or a National Championship but the #1 NFL Draft pick has a gymnast for a girlfriend. Basically he has all the money in the world and a flexible girlfriend. I would NOT trade that for a Heisman or a ring on any day of the week. In case you were wondering her name is Nicole Pechanec and she is currently a gymnast at Stanford. Feel free to stalk her.

The lesson here kids is if you are really good at throwing a football and have millions in the bank you too can get a hot girl. You just gotta be Luck.

/Brady Quinn nods in approval.

Suck For Luck indeed.

Kate Upton Does The Cat Daddy Dance for Terry Richardson

I don't think words can do this Cat Daddy Dance justice. I'll just let you describe it in your comments. It's Kate Upton's world and we are just living in it.

Roger Goodell Loves Him Some Draft Picks

Candle lit. Barry White music softly playing in the background. The NFL Commish enters the room. He sees massive Memphis DT Dontari Poe. Emotion overcomes him. The mood and timing is just right. He goes in and grabs the young man. Shows him who the boss is.

In all seriousness what the hell is up with the commissioner just going all in with these draft picks? It's like he was trying to bed every single one of them. I know what his game is. Much like a pimp he treats them all nice in the beginning and then when you act up he puts the smack down and takes half of your money. In a way the commissioner is just like our government.

Disturbing Image via TheBigLead