Rangers Pitchers Derek Holland and Ryan Dempster Do A Good Harry Caray Impression

Via HotClicks

Michigan Football: Male or Female? You Be The Judge

Michigan getting a #1 vote in the AP Poll is almost as confusing as this picture of Jake Ryan. I seriously thought this picture was a girl. I still think it might. But according to MGoBlue she...I mean he...will be the starting linebacker for the Michigan Wolverines this fall. And people wonder why Augusta National let in the women. Michigan was clearly the first domino to fall.

Image via Ryan Wykle

Junior Seau Committed Suicide Because of a Sleep Aide?

Months ago the tragic suicide death of former All-Pro linebacker Junior Seau was put on the pedestal of why the NFL needs to be held accountable for concussions and their health consequences. The media was quick to point out Seau's multiple concussions and it's probable cause of his suicide.

Fast forward to today when the Medical Examiner in San Diego issued Seau's toxicology report which revealed trace amounts of zolpidem, commonly known as Ambien, a drug used to treat insomnia, which has been linked to side effects of depression and suicidal thoughts.

Those close to Seau also said he had trouble sleeping for years and did not always take the sleep aids as directed. Nancy Emsley, who often worked out with Seau at a local gym, said she lectured Seau that he needed to sleep for eight hours after taking one. “He just rolled his eyes,” she said.

Well maybe the concussions led to Seau's insomnia but I think it is prudent to point out that Ambien was the most likely cause of Seau's decision to take his life. And the scary part is he probably thought it was the hits in the NFL he took that were giving him those crazy thoughts running through his head and not the little pill he popped because Seau had a hard time falling asleep.

In short don't always believe what you hear and pills are not the answer.

Sincerely,

Your Dad

What Hurts Worse? This Hit on Michael Vick's Ribs or...

...a dog getting electrocuted? I don't know about you but I think a bunch of dogs getting electrocuted probably hurts worse than a hit to the ribs. But yeah Michael Vick is a guy to root for.

Don't worry Philly or Vick fans. He will be fine. Just some bruised ribs. He's got a whole season left to let you down.

Danica Patrick Has a Potty Mouth

Typical woman driver. Blaming everyone else for their fuck up. Get back in the kitchen Danica.

Money Ball Scores When He Wants T-Shirt

Money Ball Scores When He Wants t-shirts are now available. Wisconsin peeps asked for them and we delivered. Kids and adult sizes are available. Order your Money Ball shirt today. Limited quantities available.

Just Your Normal Everyday $1700 Alabama Crimson Tide Back Tattoo

That monstrosity is Bama fan Zack Smartt's new back tattoo. It took 10.5 hours and cost him $1700. Holy fucking shit! I wonder what his cellmate will think of it in a couple of years?

Via Busted Coverage

Notre Dame Shamrock Series Techfit Uniforms Revealed, Internet Explodes

First off I will admit I'm not the biggest fan of these new Notre Dame "Shamrock Series" uniforms. They look kind of like Michigan's uniforms. The jerseys aren't that bad. But the helmet is...well...two sided. I don't get it. I don't mind the leprechaun on the helmet and I actually think it looks good with the navy helmet but they should have put it on both sides and made the helmet all navy. The leprechaun is reversed on the left side which throws me off. I've never seen the Fighting Irish guy facing to the left. But you know what? It's honestly not that big of a deal. It's a fucking uniform. As long as they keep their colors in it (navy, gold, white, and green) then it's cool. Plus it's only for one game and Notre Dame is going to be the shit out of Miami with them on so I'm cool with it. Just win baby!

In the meantime you owe it to yourself to order the official "Catholics vs Convicts" t-shirt. Only $17. Order today!

Usain Bolt's New Gatorade Commercial

Pretty cool commercial for the second fastest man in the world according to Denard Robinson.

Via Darren Rovell

Cal Ripken Jr. Is Auctioning Off His Chevy Suburban, Same Car He Drove During Record Breaking Streak

If you are looking for an extremely unique piece of memorabilia that in fact you can drive to your favorite ballpark then check out this 1994 Chevy Suburban that was driven by Cal Ripken Jr. for several years. Hunt Auctions is starting off the bidding at $25,000.

1994 Chevy Suburban driven by Cal Ripken Jr. for several years during his legendary career. The vehicle was driven by Cal to Oriole Park the historic nights he tied and broke Lou Gehrig’s consecutive games played record, September 5 & 6, 1995. Ripken also drove the Suburban to Orioles post-season games in 1996 and 1997.

Well shit fire. I'm actually in the market for an automobile. The SportsCrack truck is on it's last legs and what would be a better truck to haul around boxes full of shirts then Ripken's very own Suburban? This is no coincidence folks. I have to have this truck!

King Felix Throws Perfect Game

29% of all perfect games in MLB history have happened in the last 3 seasons. It should be higher if Armando Galarraga didn't get robbed by umpire Jim Joyce. So what does it all mean? I guess steroids do actually work for hitters.

Congratulations go out to Felix Hernandez on the perfect game. He should thank his defense. They made a lot of clutch plays to keep the perfecto intact. 27 up. 27 down. Amazing.

Dodgers reliever Randy Choate with the glove save and a beauty

A millisecond too late and Randy Choate would be in a hospital right now suffering from hamburger face. Just a beautiful glove save here. Marty Brodeur has nothing on Choate.

Via HotClicks

"Baby Got Back" Sung By the Movies

The world is a better place with this "Baby Got Back" song edited with clips from 295 films. It put a smile on my face. Hope it worked for you too.

Rajai Davis Robs Casey McGehee In Toronto

Talk about scaling a wall. Toronto Blue Jays outfielder Rajai Davis pulled some SpiderMan shit with this spectacular grab to rob the Yankees Casey McGehee of a home run.

Another Reason to Love College Football: Walk-On Rewarded for Hard Work

I don't care who you are a fan of if this video doesn't get you hyped up for college football then just leave already. Vanderbilt head coach James Franklin rewards the dedication and hard work of walk-on Mark Panu with a full scholarship in front of his teammates. Awesome. Now I get an idea of why Franklin has been stealing recruits from the likes of Tennessee.

Via TheBigLead

Can I Jam Music Video

Don't even lie. You laughed your ass off. "Can I jam my privates in your privates" is going to be the new hit song of the summer. Forget about that Gotye song or "Call Me Maybe" because this shit is going to be played at every club, party, ball game, bar mitzah for the next 6 months.

Via BarStoolSports

McKayla Maroney teaches Jenna Bush How To Do The Dougie

Gymnast McKayla Maroney is on a rampage in England. She's doing the Dougie on top of those famous double decker buses while being whisked around London. Be afraid London. Be very afraid. We might steal your balding Prince.

Orioles Call Up Top Prospect Manny Machado

Last night the surprising Baltimore Orioles finished off sweeping the Seattle Mariners to maintain a tie for the Wild Card lead with 49 games left but what happened after was even more shocking: they called up top position prospect Manny Machado from AA Bowie. Wow!

Machado just turned 20 and the shortstop is rated the #9 best prospect in the game. It was expected or widely forecast that he wouldn't make an impact on the big league club till 2013 at the earliest. Tonight he will start at third base against the Kansas City Royals. Hot Damn!

"Manny can be a plus and help the team," Orioles executive vice president of baseball operations Dan Duquette said. "The kid has a lot ot talent. It sounds like Buck will play him at third base."

Machado was the third overall pick in the 2010 MLB draft out of high school in Miami. He has played only 2 games at third base with the majority of his time at shortstop. Shortstop is occupied by JJ Hardy and they don't plan on moving Hardy any time soon. The Orioles have struggled to get production out of third base all season with the combination of Mark Reynolds and Wilson Betemit both at the plate and defensively. Machado is considered to have a plus glove.

Whether or not this is the right move for the Orioles organization remains to be seen. Some consider rushing a prospect to the Majors not a good move because of fear of ruining one's confidence. I can see the rationale in the thinking but if you got the enormous talent like Machado possesses he will adjust his game and be fine. The good thing about the Orioles position right now is they aren't putting all their stock and future on Machado's shoulders. He isn't seen as the savior. He is just another piece to hopefully getting them into the playoffs for the first time in 15 years.

In other words: Don't Fuck It Up Kid!

Oh yeah and good luck.

Yankees Pitcher Cody Eppley Hit In The Head By Own Teammate

I know all of you are concerned about Yankees pitcher Cody Eppley. He's going to be ok. Just a little boo boo on his noggin from taking one from teammate Eric Chavez last night. The mental anguish might not be enough for Eppley to handle though so I've been told he is suing Rawlings for making the ball, Detroit for building a baseball stadium with inadequate warning signs for thrown balls, and every fan in the stands including the commentators for not alerting him of the dangers of a baseball thrown from a teammate. Hey it's the American way right? Let's blame others because it's so much easier. It's what God would want.

/mulls over lawsuit vs Busch Light for explosive bloody diarrhea.

How to Eat Noodles Like a Boss Commercial

This guy is my new hero. Not only can he slam down Ramen with the best of them while pouring scolding hot water down his throat and doing lines of chili pepper right in front of his female coworkers but the guy screams "FAWK BITCHES" to top it all off. Even the Asians have better commercials then us. Not only are we losing the medal count to fucking communist China but are commercials look like Lolo Jones trying to compete on the grand stage. Time to tighten it up America.