HOLY EFFING COCK AND BALLS

I just got the best present a man could get other being born with an enormous floppy. I'm talking NHL All-Star game tickets mofo!!! And not just any tickets, I'm going to get to sit in a suite with free booze and food. Fear and Loathing among the greatest toothless skilled hockey players in the world. All thanks to my wonderful fiance.

I'm bouncing off the fucking walls right now. I can't wait to see Ilya Kovalchuk and Alexander Ovechkin tear it up on the same line and see them rip some shots in the skill competition. And in case you were wondering hockey is still an official sport with actual players who get paid millions of dollars to beat the shit out of each other on a thin sheet of ice. Plus you don't have to feel sorry for anybody getting hurt because most of them are Canadian. Those beady little eyes with their hockey sticks...