SPORTSCRACK

Question: Name me two things you didn't know still existed on the Major League Baseball Level?

ANSWER: THE ROYALS AND HIDEO NOMO

Yesterday the Kansas City Star reported the Royals inked the aging 39 year old Japanese pitcher to a minor league deal with an invitation to Spring Training. To my surprise I thought both Kansas City and Hideo Nomo died and were buried in independent baseball leagues a long time ago. Apparently both have met, kissed, made up, and will start touring this Spring at a Flea Market near you. This is how bad MLB is right now. The Kansas City Royals, who used to be a very proud and honorable franchise in the 80's and actually won games, is now a AAA affiliate because Bud Selig can't implement a strict salary cap. Instead the Royals have to sign aging Japanese gopher ball pitchers while the Yankees and Red Sox battle it out for Johan Santana's rights. Seems fair right?

I know the Royals have been fucked for more reasons than just a salary cap. Shitty upper level management is the main culprit. It's similar to the Catholic church.

Wait for lightning bolt.

Okay, I'm still alive. Seriously if the Catholic Church had some good upper level management in the Vatican City they would have squashed the whole "priests touching boys naughty parts" a long time ago before dishing out hundreds of millions for pain and suffering. If the Royals had some decent upper level management(owner, VP, GM, scout director, etc.) they would have been able to squash the pain and suffering their loyal fans have encountered for decades of horrible baseball. Don't send me hate mail Kansas City and religious freak people, I've had a one way ticket to hell ever since I voted for George Bush.

So I guess we can blame the fall of the Catholic Church, Hideo Nomo, and the Kansas City Royals on none other than the New York Yankees. Why you ask? Because those dicks had some decent management and a shit load of money and fucked up the whole planet starting in the mid 90's. I so need a beer right now.