SPORTSCRACK

SOMEONE FORGOT TO TAKE THEIR CRAZY PILLS

A Nation watches in horror as the once proud pop queen is gurneyed out by the paramedics from her own home! Seriously, what the fuck happened to this crazy bitch? I know she is an overweight, no talent assclown now but she used to be the shit before she met K-Fed. See, I'm hip with the lingo bitches! Anyways, I was up all night watching the latest on her...err, umm, scratch that. I mean I was up masturbating all night to Skinemax and was wondering if we have ever seen anybody fall this hard this fast. Sure we had the King of Pop himself but that was a long, slow fall because he paid off thousands of sick kids and their parents to not rat his touchy feely ass out. Britney now has two kids who she is going to lose all custody rights to them because she is a junkie whore. It's similar to watching Roger Clemens Hall of Fame career slowly go down the shitter. Yeah, I can't wait to hear his pathetic excuses this week on "60 Minutes" when he is being interviewed by the guy who sank the Titanic. Oh sure, it was just B-12 shot Rocket! I haven't heard that before you lying fucker.

And yes, if you are wondering I still have a functional penis despite going to TMZ.com to see the latest celebrity news.