Sorry I missed last week but what can you do... McPeter's Week 5 pics

Yes, it's a leprechaun, and yes he's scary. That's what's going to happen to the cheery ole' mascot if ND loses this week...

Okay, this time I missed a whole week. Please forgive. To be honest I had a family emergency, but call it what you will, I missed last week's picks unexpectantly. Looks like a big week this week and my record is still mediocre at 11 - 5 and with last week a wash so I can only hope this week goes well. Looking forward to a good weekend in college football and on to the picks…

Florida vs Bama

The Gaytors found some rhythm last week with Trey Burton in the "Tebow" formation, but Ingram continued his Heisman hopes. Saban vs. Meyer, Saints vs Satans, whatever you want to call it. Meyer and St. Tebow vs Satan and his Hell Hound. Florida's offense better step up because Bama's D is young, fast, and is doing a hell of a job. The Gaytors D has been impressive, but the offense has struggled. Brantley was thought to be the answer to losing the "Holy Heisman" to graduation, but he's been less than impressive. Rainey got arrested for pulling a Mel Gibson and the Gaytor's starting running back, Jeff Demps, has been in a boot for the majority of this week. Despite all the hype, I'm not sure that the Florida D is up to stopping Mark Ingram and Trent Richardson. Although Greg McElroy isn't exactly a prolific QB, he hasn't lost a game as a starter and I'm not expecting him to lose this one. The Tide rolls the Gaytors and keep up their impressive run of not losing a game and staying in the #1 spot yet again. Roll Tide.

Prediction – Tide 24 vs Gaytors 14

Stanford vs Oregon

The Ducks have ugly uniforms and Stanford has Andrew Luck, but that's not enough to stop the prolific Oregon offense from giving Stanford their first loss of the season. Andrew Luck is a legitimate Heisman contender and quite probably the first overall selection in the draft, definitely the first QB taken, he's not luck(y) enough to win this game. While the Duck may not have to do 10 billion push ups this week, he will definitely not be tackling a tree (see the bobcat vs the ... brutus?!?!?). The Ducks improve to 5 - 0 and continue to show they may be a National Title contender.

Prediction – Oregon 42 vs Stanford 17

Texas vs Oklahoma

This year's Red River Rivalry will be another good one. Texas has lost one game and this will be Garret Gilbert's biggest test. Texas lost to UCLA last week and Oklahoma looks to be a legitimate National Title contender. Call me crazy but I think Oklahoma will be playing Bama in the National Championship leaving Oregon on the outside looking in. Oklahoma is going to roll in this game and continue it's run through the Big 12. Texas' D was suspect last week and while I believe in Will Muschamp and hope that if he's not UGA's next coach, he does a hell of a job after Mack Brown leaves Texas, I don't think Texas' D is ready for OU this week. Sorry Horns, but I don't think you'll Hook Em.

Prediction – Texas 10 vs Oklahoma 21

Iowa vs Penn State

Joe Pa is old, Iowa is good. If that's not enough, Penn State is starting a true freshman QB against a stingy defense. Can anyone even tell me what the hell a "Nittany Lion" is?!?! I mean what the hell is a Nittany Lion. Ok, after just a little bit of research, I found a Nittany Lion is a mountain lion that was on Mount Nittany, no really, that's the truth. Iowa sends the Lion back to Nittany and the Hawkeyes make sure the lion stays there for a few more years. Look for the Hawkeyes D to roll and Joe Pa to sleep through another game. I'm not sure he can make more than 4 hours without at least a power nap. Look for the Hawkeyes to make a serious run at the Little 11 Championship.

Prediction – Iowa 17 vs PSU 7

UGA vs Colorado

I'm still picking Georgia. Forget the analysis because it's all screwed. They get Green back, the O-line still has to pick up the slack and UGA's strength in running back has looked like the worst part of the game. Thankfully, UGA shouldn't have to play too much D against a weak Colorado team. UGA needs the win to have some life and to save Richt. Let's just pray the game plan is expanded from Run Middle, Run Right, Screen Right to the fullback, Skinny Post to Durham.

Prediction – Georgia 24 vs Colorado 10

ND vs BC

The Irish may be the only team in the country as desperate for a win as the Dawgs. They'll win this one for Brian Kelly. Look for the Wild Leprechaun package early and often. Tailer Jones scores another TD and ND wins a good game.

Prediction - BC 13 vs ND 20

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JIM MORA JR. GOES OFF ON DOUG GOTTLIEB

Former Atlanta Falcons head coach Jim Mora Jr. sounds like a real peach to deal with doesn't he? Doug Gottlieb was filling in for Colin Cowturd today on his radio show and I thought he asked some fair questions for Mora to answer. It's hard to make Gottlieb look like the good guy but Mora did an excellent job of it. I mean seriously, what an asshole. No wonder Michael Vick was lazy in Atlanta. No matter what he did he would always get chastised by Mora.

"Can I fight your dog?"says Vick.

"No, jesus! Have you ever fought a Husky before? What a stupid question! Now go fetch me some pancakes!" replied Mora.

Video HT: TheBigLead

MY HEISMAN BALLOT AFTER 4 WEEKS

1. Denard Robinson (Michigan)-Shoelace is by far the best player I have watched this season. He leads the nation in rushing and his passing is good enough to keep Michigan competing for the Big Ten this season. While it's true he is prone to injury with all the rushing attempts and hits he will take there is little doubt he is the leading candidate at this point. The kid is pure electricity with the ball in his hands.


2. Taylor Martinez (Nebraska)-Just a freshman Martinez has taken Lincoln by storm. Bringing back distant memories of Eric Crouch and Tommy Frazier, T-Magic has rushed for 496 yards while averaging 9.3 ypc to go along with 8 TDs rushing. Nebraska could go to a BCS Championship game with the freshman at QB. Sounds Heisman to me.


3. Kellen Moore (Boise State)-All Moore does is win games. He has had two big, outstanding performances in primetime wins against Virginia Tech and Oregon State. He reminds me a lot of Matt Leinart. Not great size or arm but he has tremendous accuracy and all he does is win. Have I mentioned he wins ball games.

4. Patrick Peterson (LSU)-Peterson is the best defensive player in the country along with being the best return man. He's a lockdown corner and the only defensive player who has a legit shot of getting invited to New York.
HIDE YOUR KIDS, HIDE YOUR WIFE!


5. Andrew Luck (Stanford)-Luck is the best pure pro-style quarterback in the nation. He's on pace to throw for 33 TDs and only 6 INTs and with the way Stanford's defense is playing he could lead them to a PAC-10 Title. If Stanford goes undefeated then Luck wins the Heisman running away. He has a chance to prove to voters his candidacy this week with a tough road game in Eugene in primetime. If he comes out victorious with another great performance he could leap ahead of Shoelace.

Outside looking in: Terrelle Pryor (Ohio State), Cam Newton (Auburn), Mark Ingram (Alabama)

EVERY LITTLE STEP WITH WAYNE BRADY AND MIKE TYSON

Every Little Step with Mike Tyson & Wayne Brady from Mike Tyson

Fucking Mike Tyson can dance! He puts Michael Jackson to shame with some of those dance steps. I use to sing this classic Bobby Brown song all the time back in middle school. It was right up there with "Ice Ice Baby" and "Straight Outta Compton" for tunes I could recite while sleeping in class. I gotta give Tyson credit here. He made me laugh out loud with just seeing his head pop up on the screen.

I might as well apologize to all of you for the lack of blogs. I've been in a deep college football depression since the second week for obvious reasons. I think the depression will suppress this week though. Notre Dame plays a bad Boston College team. ND should win. Same with Georgia and Georgia Tech. They got road games with Colorado and Wake Forest. All should be fine Saturday night. My liver and sanity depend on it.

NOTRE DAME AND GEORGIA FOOTBALL HIGHLIGHTS FROM SATURDAY

Both Notre Dame and Georgia sit at 1-3 a third of the way into the season. Yep, it's been one giant jerkoff of a season. Keep it up boys!

FLORIDA'S WILL HILL TAKES OUT WHEELCHAIR GUY

Sorry but I had to laugh at this clip. You get near the sidelines in a football game you have to expect this kind of shit to happen whether you are in a wheelchair or not. It was good to see Florida safety Will Hill pull the good samaritan card and help the guy up. Oh wait...he didn't. Urban Meyer is running a classy program down there.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL WEEK 4 PREDICTIONS

ALABAMA(-7.5) AT ARKANSAS
The Razorbacks come in sky high after a thrilling win in Athens. Alabama continues to just punish opposing teams on both sides of the ball. Ryan Mallett will have a good day but it won't be enough to stop Bama from winning this relatively easy.

Prediction: Bama 31 Arkansas 23

USC(-22.5) AT WASHINGTON STATE
USC is 3-0 but have yet to beat the spread this season. The Cougars are just fucking terrible. They might be the worst team in college football. I hate USC but I think they finally beat the spread this season. Call it the law of averages.

Prediction: USC 38 Washington State 10

STANFORD AT NOTRE DAME (+5)
I'm not trying to sound too negative but is Notre Dame seriously a 5 point dog at home against the fucking Trees? Wow, now I know how low Notre Dame football has sunk. Stanford is damn good and they have the best quarterback in the nation in Andrew Luck. He should have a field day against a weak Notre Dame pass defense. The Irish will put up a lot of points too with Dayne Crist having a career day. The problem is Stanford wants the win more and pulls it out in the end. The luck of the Irish is nonexistent.

Prediction: Stanford 42 Notre Dame 38 (take the over at 59.5)

GEORGIA AT MISSISSIPPI STATE (+1)
Both teams want the win badly in this game. It could get really ugly. UGA will look to establish the run against a decent run defense. If Caleb King and Washaun Ealey can rip off some yards in spurts here then I think UGA wins. But I get the feeling they won't. The Cowbells will be ringing.

Prediction: Miss State 19 Georgia 17

OREGON STATE AT BOISE STATE(-18)
The Broncos don't get many chances to make statement games to the nation but when they do it always ends in yet another impressive Blue Turf win. Boise State and Kellen Moore will handle the Beavers convincingly.

Prediction: Boise State 42 Oregon State 20

SOUTH CAROLINA(+3) AT AUBURN
Right now I think South Carolina is the better team after three weeks. Auburn has gotten some gifts from Miss State and Clemson to pull out their undefeated season so far. The Cocks have just been dominating both lines of scrimmage. I'm going with the road upset here. Sorry Camzilla.

Prediction: South Carolina 24 Auburn 20

TAKE PITT AS 4 POINTS DOG AT HOME VS MIAMI TONIGHT

The blogs have been absent this week thanks to outside forces (staining deck, sleeping in, doing chores, etc.) so I figured I need to get at least one up for today for my betting friends. Tonight the overrated Miami Hurricanes travel up to Pitt to take on the Panthers in the ESPN Thursday Night clash. It's ACC vs. Big East...I know calm down...so it's basically going to be watching a 3 hour plus pillow fight. For some reason the U is favored tonight. Why I'm not sure. Take Pitt as the home dog at +4. Pitt RB Dion Lewis and WR Jonathan Baldwin are going to have big games of at least 100 yards each.

Prediction- Pitt 27 Miami 21

MATTY DIAZ TAKES OUT PHILLIES FAN

This was about the only good thing that happened last night in Philadelphia. Braves left fielder Matt Diaz got sick and tired of watching this spandex moron run around the field while the keystone cops chased him. Use the tazers!

MARK DANTONIO HAS HUGE BALLS

Another heart breaking last second loss for the Fighting Irish as Michigan State pulls out the fake field goal for the win. The balls of head coach Mark Dantonio to make this call deserves a nod of the cap. Michigan State deserved to win the game because Notre Dame refused to put them away in the second half when they had tons of chances to make it a two score game.

I'm not going to sit here and pout about how the referees fucked Notre Dame with the play clock or the Michigan State receiver running out of bounds and coming back in to catch a late touchdown. Shit happens and either way Notre Dame should have stopped both plays for scores. Even though the secondary is depleted in terms of depth by injuries and transfers there is no excuse for the Irish to continue to play down to opponents. My hope was a new coaching staff led by proven college winner Brian Kelly would change the culture of Notre Dame football. It hasn't happened yet but then again we are only 3 games into the BK Era.

Notre Dame fans have a right to be upset. There were a ton of questionable play calls by the coaching staff but these things happen in every game. What is hurting the Irish is the execution on offense. Dayne Crist doesn't have the accuracy or touch of Jimmy Clausen but he makes up for it in terms of the ability to tuck the ball and run and he is playing behind a much better offensive line than Clausen ever experienced in the blue and gold. The offense has no flow or rhythm at this time. It's suppose to be quick strike spread but instead of opening up the field with some deep balls to Michael Floyd we are seeing a ton of 5 yard out patterns. In some cases 3 yard patterns when you need 4 yards. This should get better as the season progresses. It better.

The defense is what it is: not good. They can't stop the run. They will continue to give up 30 points plus a game considering how their offense doesn't control the clock. For Notre Dame football to return to winning football they will have to be able to run the ball on offense and have a defense that can stop the run. Right now they refuse to run (55 passes vs 19 designed run plays last week) because Kelly wants to score with an aerial attack and he wants to score quickly. This is a detriment to the team as a whole. They don't have the type of depth on defense where you can leave them on the field for 35 plus minutes a game. They get gassed and the mental focus starts to diminish in the second half.

Sitting at 1-2 it looks like the Irish are in for another long season with Stanford coming in this week and Pitt, Boston College, Navy, Utah, and USC all more than capable of beating them. Another losing season is unacceptable with the talent the Irish have including a ton of upperclass talent. Look at the team recruiting ranking on Rivals.com for the past 5 seasons. They currently have the #6 class coming in next season which follows a #14 in 2010, a #21 in 2009, a #2 in 2008, a #8 in 2007, and a #8 all the way back in 2006. You can't tell me all of these recruits were overrated. And while there are concerns with the depth and talent on both the offensive and defensive lines there is no reason they should lose to a Michigan and Michigan State team because they can't run the ball or stop the run. We aren't talking about Alabama, Florida, or Texas talent on those teams.

I'm almost at wit's end to explain how Notre Dame continues to suck it up on Saturdays. I see the talent and the speed and a team giving it their all. I also see a head coach and staff that has improved a ton of fundamentals on the defensive side of the ball. But something is still missing. Maybe it's a losing culture that continues to permeate throughout program. Maybe it's a lack of leadership or accountability? It amazes me that they have somehow managed to lose 6 straight close games when it comes down to making the last play. You would think the law of averages would eventually kick in and Notre Dame would start winning some of these games. Until Notre Dame starts making their own luck (by executing plays on offense and stopping the run on defense) I'm not so sure Kelly will last more than 5 seasons in South Bend. Fuck I hope I'm wrong.

ANNA KOURNIKOVA MAXIM PHOTO SHOOT

Holy shit I thought Anna Kournikova was dead. It must have been some dream I had a few years ago but I could have sworn she was as dead as the Georgia and Notre Dame football programs. Because even though she was a mediocre at best tennis player she still looks pretty damn good even though she is past her prime. The same can't be said about UGA or ND. They just can't do anything right these days. Well except losing. If there was an award for exceptional loses to teams with less talent then I think they could be champions at something.

Video via Egotastic

FAIRCHILD'S PICKS WEEK 3

Last weekend I would have gone perfect in my picks if Notre Dame could have just found a way to contain Shoelace in any form but as you know it wasn't meant to be. It still amazes me how quarterbacks have career days against the Irish on a regular basis. Until Notre Dame finds a defense that can hold a player under 500 total yards I will refrain from touting them as a top 25 team. Clearly they are not right now. But it's not about Notre Dame...it's about making some money on some picks. Here are my week 3 picks:

UGA vs Arkansas(+2.5)
This one is pretty much a toss up game. If it were in Arkansas then I believe the Razorbacks would be favored by at least a touchdown but since the game is in Athens the Dawgs are the slight favorite at -2.5. Take the Razorbacks as the road dog. Ryan Mallett threw for a bajillion yards last season along with 5 TD's in a narrow shootout last to the Ginger Ninja 51-42. Until Georgia's defense can prove me wrong I don't see them stopping a highly efficient offense that will put up at least 35 points. Georgia is dead last in the SEC in rushing and Aaron Murray still has no A.J. Green for crucial third-and-longs.

Arkansas wins easily. Hate to say it too but the hot seat is getting lukewarm for Mark Richt in Athens after this game.

Prediction – Arkansas 41 vs Georgia 24

Texas (-2.5) vs Texas Tech
The last time they played this game in Lubbock Michael Crabtree took over in a 39-33 victory. It was a great game but people tend to forget how many times Texas blew chances to win the game or at least prevent the Red Raiders from having a chance to win it at the end. Texas is the better team from top to bottom. Coach Tuberville is a great coach and will have the Red Raiders ready with a spirited first half but the depth at Texas takes over in the second.

Prediction – Texas 31 vs Tech 23

UF(-17.5) vs Tennessee
The Vols were manhandled at home last week to Oregon. Expect more of the same this week. I know the Gators have looked pedestrian so far especially on offense but the defense will put on a clinic today. I think they force at least 4 turnovers and Urban Meyer has a somewhat "statement" game for 2010. Prepare to Die UT.

Prediction – Florida 45 vs Tennessee 2

Iowa(+2) vs Arizona
Pardon the language but how in the fuck is Iowa an underdog in this game? Does Vegas know something that I'm not familiar with? The Hawkeyes are going to run all over Arizona and I don't even think this game will be that close.

Prediction – Iowa 28 vs Arizona 13

Clemson vs Auburn(-7)
The battle of the Tigers. This game will be known as Cam Newton's coming out party. The ACC is garbage and Clemson is a middle of the pack team this year. ACC teams don't do very good on the road and if you put them against a SEC team like Auburn then it could get ugly real quick. It will.

Prediction – Auburn 27 vs Clemson 14

Notre Dame (+3.5) vs Michigan State
The road team has won 7 of the last 9 meetings between these two bitter rivals. History shows when Notre Dame loses to Michigan the week before they usually bounce back against Sparty. The opposite happens when the beat Michigan. Well since ND lost last second again I expect a spirited Irish team this week with a healthy Dayne Crist. The offense will open up more and I think we finally see what Theo Riddick can do in this offense. Be on the lookout for Greg Jones of Michigan State. He might be the best linebacker in the country and he will be looking to cause some more blurry vision for Crist with some vicious hits.

Prediction- Notre Dame 31 vs Sparty 27

Way to blow another one NCAA...

Image courtesy of John Bazemore - AP
I guess we won't be seeing any of this at noon on Saturday.

Here's a link to Tim Tucker's UGA Beat Blog on the AJC regarding the NCAA rejecting UGA's appeal of A.J. Green's case. The phrase "I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire" has never applied so much in my life. Well maybe that statement is completely true but still, anyone who can honestly say the NCAA is fair and is there to "protect student athletes" can honestly kiss my @$$. Yeah, I said it, the NCAA sucks. Marcel Dareus of Alabama gets two games for $1,800 in benefits, A.J. Green of Georgia gets 4 games for selling personal property for $1,000, then donating that $1,000 to charity BEFORE an NCAA penalty is even talked about.

Enough said...

Someone is arrested and it's not a UGA player! Score!!! and McPeters' week 3 picks

What a mug shot eh?!? Looks like Chris Rainey and Mel Gibson should have a conversation to see who's death threats are scarier. More on Rainey and Florida's chances in Knoxville later.

It's too late for Thursday night game again, darn. Overall record on the season is a modest 7 – 4. Admittedly, my disdain of the Big Ten got the best of me last week. I guess that’s what happens when you talk to a rabid Ohio State fan who swears on his life that Ohio State is the greatest team in the greatest conference that has ever played in the history of any sports at all. This guy would’ve put a hand on the bible and told me the Ohio State football team could’ve conquered Mount Olympus and that the mounting record of never losing to an in-state school is just amazing, something un heard of, something that even Tebow couldn’t live up to. This week should be a bit more sensible. On to the picks…

UGA vs Arkansas

I hope that Bobo will open up the offense for Murray. The kid is good and has put up pretty impressive numbers through two games this season. He’s 31 for 47 with 392 yards, three touchdowns and one interception, which if you saw the play, was a dropped pass directly in Kris Durham’s chest. He’s also scrambled 10 times for 27 yards and another touchdown. Not bad for a redshirt freshman who was such a huge “unknown”. Just my opinion, but the number 3 rated QB in a class should never be an “unknown”. At Florida, Brantley was the “heir apparent”. At Georgia, Murray was the “big if”. Thus far, Murray has outperformed expectations and the O-line and running game have been the bigger ifs.

On the other side of the field, Ryan Mallett is the best QB in the SEC, possibly the country. He’s thrown for 701 yards (49 of 67), 6 TDs and 2 INTs. Payton Manning wouldn’t mind those numbers through two games. Add in a passer rating of 184.6 and you’re looking at an elite QB. This is no surprise. Further, the Hogs are fielding four very capable running backs and an experienced group of wide receivers. This is going to be a huge test for both teams.

UGA, without AJ Green still can, and will, pull this one out. Not only do they have to win to have a realistic chance of staying in the SEC East title hunt, but UGA is playing at home, with a huge home crowd, and with both projected “starting backs” in the line-up. Here’s the deal, both teams have a lot to prove on defense. The difference is that UGA’s pass defense hasn’t been suspect and Arkansas hasn’t truly had a running back step up to claim the position. Mallett is going to be forced to pass and he’s going to have Deangelo Tyson and Justin Houston in his face all day. It’s hard to pass for 400 yards from your back and UGA’s defense should be adjusted enough to handle a one dimensional attack this week. Further, UGA still has the best special teams in the nation. Expect a game similar to last year’s shoot out and UGA pulling it out in the end.

Prediction – UGA 31 vs Ark 28

Texas vs Texas Tech

Tuberville is back to coaching and he has a very talented team at Texas Tech. The Red Raiders are spreading the ball, as usual, in the passing game, but are finding a running game as well. Give Tubs a year or two to recruit a big time running back and they are well on their way to competing for a Big 12 title or two. For Texas, this is Garrett Gilbert’s game to step up. It’s his first true test on the road and it’s in a hostile environment. This rivalry is heated and though Texas is the higher ranked team, Texas Tech has a huge opportunity to pull off an upset. The Red Raiders have a rejuvenated coach, an extremely talented secondary, and a QB who understands Coach Tub’s system. If Texas Tech’s line can stop the D from putting Potts on his back too often, Texas Tech will pull this one out. Like the UGA ARK game, I expect this one to put some points on the board. TT will need it’s Defensive front to step up and hold down the Texas running game while the Red Raider secondary does its job, but I think the Red Raiders pull this one out and upset Texas at home.

Prediction – TT 42 vs Texas 28

UF vs Tennessee

In what may be one of the most interesting games of the week, a seemingly over hyped Florida team travels to Knoxville to take on a underappreciated Tennessee team that has a new coach, a new QB, and a new attitude. Derek Dooley is sure to fire up the Volunteers and let them know they are out to set the world on fire. With all of the off the field issues that both programs are having, Florida losing a talented Chris Rainey to his Mel Gibson-esque stalking incident, the lack of production from God’s Gift Part Deux, and the inability of the Florida O-Line to function without both Pouncey twins, it seems that the recipe for an upset is in the works. The problem is that Tennessee hasn’t exactly been the picture of consistency either. Lame Kiffin really left his stamp on the Tennessee program and unfortunately for Dooley, it is going to take time to overcome. If Florida doesn’t win this game, we may see another Brett Favre come from Urban Meyer. This game could go either way, but I’m not ready to pick a Tennessee team to win much of anything with all of the questions at hand. Despite another underwhelming performance from the heralded John Brantley, look for Jeff Demps and the Florida D to step up enough to win this one in Knoxville.

Prediction – UF 17 vs UT 7

Iowa vs Arizona

During week one, I made the statement that Iowa may be Ohio State’s toughest game this year. I’m not backing down from that statement yet. These corn-fed Midwestern boys are here to play and ready to put Iowa back on the map. Stanzi looks good thus far and Arizona doesn’t seem to have the team, nor the talent, to hang with a very tough and very well rounded Iowa team. Arizona has a program that is ranked at the moment, but look for that to change after the Iowa D suffocates Arizona’s Offense. Iowa may not run for 251 yards as they did last week, but Arizona is not the right team to stop the Hawkeyes rushing attack. Iowa wins at Arizona and climbs up the polls again this week.

Prediction – Iowa 21 vs Arizona 10

Clemson vs Auburn

The ACC had a terrible week last week. GA Tech and VA Tech, the two most stable programs in the ACC over the last 5 or so years both lost to what was considered cupcake opponents. Clemson may be 2 and 0, but they haven’t had to handle the likes of a QB as talented, nor as experienced as Cam Newton. The 6’6” monster is going to have a field day against this Clemson D. Auburn’s D is going to make Willie Parker wish he would’ve left Clemson early and Dabo Swinney is going to be welcomed to the SEC for 2010. Without C.J. Spiller, Clemson is not the team it was. I’m hoping for a good game, but I expect Newton to continue making his case for Heisman and showing why he and Michigan’s Denard Robinson are the two most explosive players in the college football game at the moment. Auburn rolls over Clemson at home.

Prediction – Auburn 31 vs Clemson 14

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A GREAT LOU HOLTZ IMPERSONATION

I hate redneck humor but this shit is pretty funny. The guy absolutely nails the impersonation of Lou Holtz. I wish Rick and Bubba would shut up so I can hear it better but it is what it is. ESPN needs to get this guy in studio right away. Play a little game on the real Holtz. Sit the fake Holtz next to Mark May and do one of those back and forth arguments and see how the real lisper reacts to it. Or you can get the fake Holtz and put him in Erin Andrews dressing room with a hand held camera and see what happens. Laughs and violence surely would ensue.

DEREK JETER HAS BEEN TAKING LESSONS FROM MINKA KELLY

I'm not going to hate on Derek Jeter too much. Sure he is a pussy for faking a hit by pitch last night in a crucial game against the Tampa Bay Rays and taking first base when he damn well knew he shouldn't have but the guy nails Minka Kelly on a regular basis.

Actually scratch that. I fucking hate Derek Jeter. The guy must be Captain Clutch if he can slide in safely with her every night.

In case you were wondering Jeter did score after Curtis Granderson hit a homerun in the next at-bat. Too bad the Rays came back to win and take sole possession of first place in the AL East. Since the Orioles have been out of it since 1998 and the Braves are having their usual September shutdown and more than likely will miss the playoffs in Bobby's last season I will be rooting for the Rays to win it all this postseason. Gotta root for the little guys who play great fundamental baseball and rely on pitchers who don't make $15 million plus a year like the Yankees starting rotation.

KYLE BUSCH HAS A LOT OF MONEY...

Because there is no way he lands his fiance Samantha Sarcinella without a lot of green in his pocket. You be the judge...


Apparently this Busch guy is a very successful Nascar driver which means he goes really fast and doesn't take right turns. He also knows how to wine and dine a female. Their first date was at a TGI Fridays. Very romantic for a Nascar driver I may say. I take it Chili's had a 15 minute wait.



Oh yeah, she's melting right in his pocket. Better have a prenup buddy.

SOUTH CAROLINA RB MARCUS LATTIMORE INVESTIGATED FOR DAWG ABUSE

You can't make up shit like this Georgia fans. Oh wait, yes you can.

COLUMBIA—The Humane Society of Georgia today released a statement in reaction to the news that Marcus Lattimore, Running Back of the University of South Carolina Gamecocks, is being investigated for alleged animal abuse.

Yesterday, a search warrant was issued for a property owned by Lattimore, in Columbia,SC. According to reports, law enforcement authorities discovered dawgs in a state of apparent confusion, anger, and pain. The Georgia Animal Abuse Taskforce was on the scene. Officers discovered up to 80 dawgs, several with wounds believed to be from cock fighting, according to sources. Authorities allege that on at least 37 different occasions, Lattimore has engaged in beating and torturing dawgs, including multiple instances of running over, and even dragging dawgs behind him as he runs.

"The Humane Society of Georgia has heard troubling reports for some time that Lattimore has been involved in organized dawg beating, and we fear that this investigation may validate that very disturbing allegation," said Wayne Pacelle, president and CEO of The Humane Society of Georgia. "We urge law enforcement to aggressively investigate this matter, and we further believe that anyone who continuously beats dawgs deserves to be fully prosecuted for their crimes. Dawg beating is a barbaric activity that causes immense player, coach, and fan suffering and fosters sorrow in our Georgia communities. We urge any concerned citizens to go to GamecockCentral.com for more information.“

If WR A.J. Green doesn't win his appeal tomorrow then we could be looking at more Dawg abuse by the hand of a Mallett this Saturday. The Georgia offense is putrid without him. Georgia is currently dead last in rushing in the SEC after two games. No Green=no chance in the SEC East. All because he sold his fucking jersey. What a joke.

DAYNE CRIST: "I'M 100% NOW!"

Photo courtesy of UHND.com

Today Notre Dame starting quarterback Dayne Crist (otherwise known as the last chance for a winning season for the Irish) said "I'M 100% NOW" which means he will be ready to go for Michigan State this week. Crist was knocked out after the first series in which he rushed for a touchdown and came away with a hit to the head that caused blurry vision throughout the first half. He came back in the second half and led a spirited comeback from 21-7 down to take the lead at 24-21 with 3 minutes to go. After that Shoelace took over.

Having Crist back completely healthy is huge going into a pivotal game in East Lansing. The Irish offense looked awful without him and the two backups in Tommy Rees and Nate Montana clearly aren't ready to lead them at this point. With the Irish looking to seize momentum in their first road game start for Crist they will need him to play the whole game, not just a half. Sparty has been a thorn in the Irish side for decades and night games in East Lansing have turned into nightmares quite often.

A healthy Crist means the Irish have a fighting chance. Right now the spread sits at Michigan State favored by -3.5. My bet is the Irish to bounce back and win outright Saturday night.

FLORIDA WR CHRIS RAINEY IS IN CRAZY LOVE

Look at those glistening adoring eyes. Those are Gator eyes ladies. He loves you so much that he could text you this beautiful sonnet at 12:22 A.M: "Time to Die [expletive] u and ur???"

See the heart wants what the heart wants for Gators WR Chris Rainey. If he can't have your love then nobody deserves it. Sounds plausible right? Oh wait, what he did was apparently "stalker"-ish according the Gainesville Po-Po and they locked him up. And now if you are head coach Urban Meyer you have to kick him off the team for at least a quarter right? I mean you can't start losing a player of Rainey's ability going into the Tennessee game. Morals and laws be damn. I got money on the Gators.

Hugs are in order. A simple apology and then a start this Saturday for Rainey will solve all of my problems... I mean the whole stalking crazy boyfriend act.

In other words Rainey is fucked. But that is just love man.

Pissed off mugshot via BaltimoreSun

RAY LEWIS DESTROYS DUSTIN KELLER

Is there any doubt that Ray Lewis is the greatest defensive player to ever play in the NFL? The guy is in his 15th season and still dominates the league. It's astonishing what he can do at his age 35 season. For all intended purposes inside linebackers who crush skulls 16-20 games a season should not be playing the way Ray does. He is the Ray-vens.

I hope you put some money on the Ravens last night at +1. It got close there with Baltimore turning over the ball three times but the Jets couldn't move the ball at all last night. Mark "Checkdown" Sanchez isn't ready to be an elite quarterback by any means but the rest of the Jets didn't help with all the penalties. I know it's only the first weekend of games but it looks like my prediction of Packers vs. Ravens SuperBowl is as good as any right now.

TAKE THE RAVENS +1 OVER THE JETS

I know it's the first game of the season and the preseason doesn't mean shit but I think the Baltimore defense is going to force Mark Sanchez to scramble a lot and throw into coverage. The Ravens don't have Ed Reed back there tonight but Zibby and Landry will get their hands on some errant Sanchise throws. I'm looking forward to seeing Ray Lewis blitz and go against the Terminator John Connor. If Connor can pick up the blitz like he did in preseason and showed on Hard Knocks then it could be one of those perfect storms. Two incredible forces colliding and causing the East Coast to shift.

This will be a low scoring game. The Jets probably have the best defense in the league but I think the Ravens will get at least two touchdowns tonight. The Jets won't put a lot of points on the board unless they come from Raven's miscues. Joey Flacco will outshine the Sanchise tonight on the big stage.

Prediction: Baltimore 17 Jets 13

SUCKS TO BE A DETROIT LIONS FAN

I know the rules are the rules but this has to sting any ref who has to make this call. Lions wide receiver Calvin Johnson caught the ball. There is no doubt. He got three feet down and had possession. But the rules state you must have the ball firmly even after falling to the ground whether in bounds or out. Damn. So instead of beating the hated Bears in Chicago and finally winning a road game despite Matthew Stafford getting knocked out with a shoulder injury the Lions are back to familiar territory: a loss.

What do you think about the rule? Should it be changed or is it good the way it is?

NEW AXE COMMERCIAL: WASH YOUR BALLS

This might be the greatest fake infomercial I have ever seen. I'm surprised it would ever air in the US of A considering how conservative we are. Nothing like a clean set of balls to start off your day right.

Video HT to Josh

THIS IS HOW MY WEEKEND FELT

Watermelon Facial - watch more funny videos

What an absolutely frustrating weekend of football. First all three Georgia teams (UGA, TECH, and Georgia State) lose and look horrible in the process. Second Notre Dame loses to Denard "ShoeLace" Robinson at home. The guy had over 500 total yards of offense. Fuck he's good. And then third the Atlanta Falcons lose in overtime to the Pittsburgh Steelers because Matt Ryan can not stop locking into receivers.

It was like a melon to the face all weekend long. The Notre Dame loss stung the most of course. They looked great with their first possession as they marched down the field at ease against a weak Michigan D. And then Dayne Crist gets some mysterious injury/concussion/the football Gods hate ND ailment. The backups Tommy Rees and Nate Montana come in. Holy shit it looks like 2007 all over again and I'm literally on the edge of throwing up. Turnover after turnover and Michigan takes advantage to go up 21-7 at half. "No Dayne no win" is what I tell everybody who will listen (my dogs). Then all of a sudden Dayne is back in the second half. He looks great. They go down and score immediately and all of a sudden we have ourselves a ball game. The defense steps it up and "contains" Shoelace after he ripped off 178 yards rushing in the first half. When Notre Dame is given chance after chance (two huge missed field goals by the Michigan kicker) they still can't take advantage until Dayne hits Kyle Rudolph for a 96 yard touchdown pass with 3 minutes to go in the game. I'm screaming my fucking head off. Notre Dame has finally taken the lead and all of a sudden I get about 2000 texts saying what a play and game. But as a Notre Dame fan you know it's far from over especially when it comes to Michigan. Shoelace takes over. He can't be stopped and they march down the field and score with 30 seconds left in the game. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. But then Notre Dame gets good field position and Dayne hits Michael Floyd for two completions to put us within striking distance. We need a touchdown to win because Brian Kelly elected not to kick a field goal at the end of the first half and instead went for the touchdown. It failed of course when Nate decided to throw it to the guy in the third row instead of one of his receivers. Hindsight is a bitch and now it appears to have fucked them. So no game tying field goal but instead Dayne has the chance to put himself in the history books. All he has to do is lob it up to one of his many talented and tall receivers and hope they come down with it against a very porous and undersized Michigan secondary. And then what happens? No clue. I blacked out and don't even want to talk about it.

Straight melon to the face all thanks to Shoelace. I said on Friday that one player can't win a game in college football. I was wrong. Robinson lived up to everything the pundits were saying last week. Notre Dame couldn't stop him and it's the reason why they lost. If you are a Notre Dame fan please stop with the "it's not fair because Dayne was out for almost a hole half" excuse. Michigan won the game fair and square. They had no turnovers and ND had three. Ballgame right there. I will give a ton of credit to Notre Dame for fighting back and making it a ball game. They didn't quit and you could tell this is a much different team from last year with their expressions after the game. They looked pissed off. They looked hungry. They didn't want to sing the Alma Mater at the end. You could tell in their eyes. They just wanted to win.

It's about time.

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FAIRCHILD'S PICKS WEEK 2

Try to ignore McPeters picks below. I think he has been hanging with the wrong crowd too much. Granted he is a UGA guy so the likelihood of him being arrested for a traffic violation is significant. It's time to step up to the big boy table. Here are my picks:

UGA vs USC(-3)
All week I have been hearing about how the Bulldogs defense is back and how the South Carolina defense won't be able to stop Caleb King and Washaun "The Impala" Ealey. Well, I'm sick of it. Listen Georgia fans. You beat the Ragin Cajuns. Big fucking deal. The Gamecocks have the best runningback in freshman Marcus Lattimore that the Dawgs defense will face all year. If you can stop him then you can force QB Stephen Garcia into some mistakes eventually. I don't see either happening. It's the first road game for QB Aaron Murray in a very hostile situation in Columbia. I'm not going to say he is going to have the deer in headlights look but I will say he is going to get his bell rung a couple of times if he tries to tuck the ball and run like he did last week. The Cocks defense wins this game.

Prediction – Cocks 23 vs UGA 19

Notre Dame(-3.5) vs Michigan
Did McPeters actually pick the Skunkbears to win by 11 at ND? Holy shit! If you are looking for a Meth dealer I know a great guy apparently. Listen McPeters. The Wolverines front 4 on defense is great but their linebackers and most importantly their secondary is garbage. They can't cover shit. Michael Floyd is going to have a huge game today and Dayne Crist will get more comfortable as he doesn't have to worry about getting stripped by Ryan Kerrigan this week. Denard Robinson is a hell of an athlete and he looked amazing last week but one guy can't win a football game alone. The forecast looks like it's going to be another wet one and as always this game will come down to the wire. Michigan's D won't be able to stop a consistent Irish offense that continues to pound 6-9 yards per play.

Prediction – Notre Dame 27 vs Michigan 23

OSU(-8.5) vs Miami
Why does everybody insist Miami is back to being an elite program? I don't see it at all. Their offensive line is going to get destroyed today by Cameron Heyward and company. Back in 2002 when these teams faced off in the BCS Title game the Hurricanes had elite players across the board. They don't have those same players anymore people. They don't have a McGahee or a Shockey or a Portis or a Andre Johnson or a Ed Reed or a Sean Taylor. I feel bad for Jacory Harris today. He's in for a rude awakening in the Shoe. Buckeyes win big.

Prediction – Buckeyes 28 vs Miami 16

FSU vs OU(-7)
The Sooners are going to ride Demarco Murray all day long. The Semenholes can't contain him. The Sooners don't lose home games under Bob Stoops. The Criminoles have a Jimbo coaching them and a Christian QBing. This isn't bible camp. This is a college football game.

Prediction – Oklahoma 31 vs. FSU 20

PSU vs ALA(-12.5)
This game will be over by the end of the third quarter. You don't bring a freshman QB with inferior talent and coaching into Tuscaloosa and expect to hang within 2 scores unless you create a lot of turnovers and/or Alabama has an off day. Bama won't do either today. GameDay is there and the focus will be to show the world how dominate the Tide can be when facing a top 20 team.

Prediction – Bama 38 vs. State Penn 10

Oregon(-11.5) vs. UT
The battle of the hideous uniforms. This game will be such an eye sore on television I probably won't even watch. Knoxville is a tough place to come in and whoop up on the home team so I think it will be closer than what others think. Oregon isn't going to put up 72 and shut out the Vols. I expect a high scoring game battle to the very end.


Prediction – Oregon 35 vs Vols 31