Failed Joe Buck Super Bowl Promo is Spot On
You gotta give credit where credit is due: at least Joe Buck can laugh at himself. Nothing is worse than some pompous a-hole who can't take a joke.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 7:45 AM 0 comments
Bravo to Fox Sports 1 Katie Nolan for sticking up for colleague Regis Philbin. ESPN's Rick Reilly despite enormous odds has somehow managed to make himself look like an even bigger douche bag by slamming TV icon Philbin for his work on Fox Sports 1. Why would he do such a thing? I have no fucking clue but what I do know is Nolan is moving up quickly on the "SportsCaster" ladder. Combining good looks with smarts and a voice that is neither annoying or whiny while clearly presentable is going to do wonders for Nolan. In other words we are huge fans of her.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 8:33 AM 0 comments
Amo mi trabajo! #MediaDay #SuperBowlXLVIII pic.twitter.com/hiWtw8YoBV
— Mariana Gonzalez (@marianagzze) January 28, 2014
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 1:25 PM 0 comments
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 7:54 AM 0 comments
I know I sound like a school girl but these NFL Bad Lip Reading videos make me giggle. They probably didn't have enough time but it would have great if they had Richard Sherman's meltdown on there. Nevertheless it's a great job.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 10:12 AM 0 comments
Cool now maybe the media can stop with the incessant Richard Sherman articles. I mean who really gives a shit anyways? Sherman is just a defensive back. He can talk all the trash he wants as long as he can back it up with his All-Pro play. It's not like he is the quarterback or a kicker who can single handily win or lose a game with his play. Hell Sherman didn't even make the interception. His teammate did. So please stop with the Sherman storyline. I get it. He's from Compton. He went to Stanford. He was a 5th round draft pick. He's the best corner in the game right now. He trash talks all fucking game. Blah blah. Until he intercepts a ball and returns it for a pick 6 Deion Sanders style then I don't really see what the big deal about Sherman is. He's just a defensive back who has the tendency to blow up on camera while being interviewed by Erin Andrews.
Oh and by the way he is not a "thug." "He is the Man" according to this new Beats by Dre commercial...
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 11:19 AM 0 comments
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 7:21 AM 0 comments
Just when I was starting to feel bad for the New York Yankees and those awful contracts they handed out to aging stars Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter, CC Sabathia, Mark Teixeira, Brian McCann, Jacoby Ellsbury, and Carlos Beltran they go out and totally redeem themselves by signing Japanese pitcher Masahiro Tanaka for seven-years, $155 million (plus $20 million posting fee). This signing will work out great for the Yankees. Tanaka has never pitched in the majors but fuck it, what does that matter? He put up great numbers in Japan so "let's pay him Clayton Kershaw money" is a great way to build a franchise. Brilliant in fact. Absolutely no way this signing blows up in their faces. Tanaka will perform great in the low pressure, laid back style that only New York can provide. Plus he isn't making quite as much as A-Rod so he won't have a bulls eye on his back. We all know Yankees fans are caring, loving individuals who no matter how much their stars struggle are only there to support them with admiration. Good luck in NY Tanaka!
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 7:50 AM 0 comments
I have no fucking clue what Baltimore Ravens wide receiver Jacoby Jones said here at a clearly sold out New Orleans Pelicans game last night. After decades of studying, practicing, and perfecting the art of drunk I still can't translate Jacoby's slurs. Jacoby is so smashed he's wearing a LiveStrong bracelet. Bro those were in style 10 years ago. Yes ma'aaaamm!
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 7:30 AM 0 comments
Unless you are an inbred Bama fan you have to get the chills watching this video of the Auburn band reacting to Chris Davis' epic missed field goal return for the winning score in the 2013 Iron Bowl. I honestly don't see how these kids are even performing after watching this live in person. I would have been going ape shit. Fuck this fiddle I'm going down to the field to celebrate!
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 1:35 PM 0 comments
I can definitely see Jameis and his friends rocking out to this slow country song with his friends while drinking moonshine in Southern Alabama. Peas in a pod my friends. Peas in a pod.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 8:06 AM 0 comments
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 7:55 PM 0 comments
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 5:51 PM 0 comments
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 10:10 AM 0 comments
The awesome folks over at KissingSuzyKolber produced some top notch Hipster NFL Logos. These are just a few of my favorites.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 8:32 AM 0 comments
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 8:11 AM 4 comments
I've had an Instagram account for over 2 years now and I have honestly been on there maybe 4 times. I never really understood the attraction of the photo sharing website. Of course I was the same way with Twitter at first but then you realize why so many people are getting on there: porn. No I'm kidding of course. Most people go on there for all the great information right?
Back to Instagram. Check out Emma Frain's page. It's full of goodies at http://instagram.com/thefrainbow
Here are some highlights:
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 7:56 AM 0 comments
Hey what can you say other than this dog gets it. No one wants to be in a kennel. Especially not Blaze. You can try all you want master but you are not getting me in that fucking box a-hole.
I didn't realize people still put their dogs in cages. Seems cruel to be honest. How would you like to sit in a box barely bigger than your body for 8 hours a day? Sounds awesome right? Sign me up.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 7:37 AM 0 comments
What in the fuck was Nick Saban thinking?
Lane Kiffin?
Seriously?
People don't intentionally try to get AIDS or Cancer but here we are in 2014 and Saban has just infected his program with Kiffin. It's the most deadly disease known to football.
Those poor inbred cousins down in Tuscaloosa have no fucking clue what they are getting into with Kiffin. And don't even start with the "well he was a great coordinator with USC" bullshit. The Trojan's roster was full of Heisman winners and All-Americans. Gene Chizik and Larry Coker could have one done wonders with those players too.
In all honesty I have to thank Saban for hiring Kiffin. It's going to be pure entertainment down in Tuscaloosa. Saban is letting his ego get the best of him thinking he can turn anything into gold and shit maybe he does shine the shit off of Kiffin's turd of a coaching career but I seriously doubt it.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 8:08 AM 4 comments
You might want to put some pants on that Cub. 100 plus years of losing baseball and still Clark the Cub is packing some serious heat. Good for him. Bad for the kids.
Deadspin did a great job with Clark. You might as well make him anatomically correct if he's not gonna have any pants on.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 7:08 AM 0 comments
Talk about some haymakers! Holy shit these two goons exchanged some bloody blows. It looks like Mike Brown of the San Jose Sharks got a little bit of the upper hand in this exchange with Aaron Volpatti of the Washington Capitals. I'm going to make Gretzky bleed!!!!
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 7:04 AM 0 comments
These videos always have me cracking up. Just seeing someone scared shitless is funny. Imagine if they filmed this animatronic devil baby prank in Texas instead of New York City. That fake baby would have bullet holes all through it.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 6:56 AM 0 comments
"Like a supermodel's vagina, let's please give a warm welcome to Leonardo Dicaprio" - gold Jerry, gold!
Thank you Tina Fey! You gave the whole audience a laugh out loud moment while causing Martin Scorcese to almost shit himself on national television. You have to love Leonardo too. You know he is just going to lay it into Fey and Amy Poehler later after he gets done banging every single model in attendance.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 7:21 AM 0 comments
Hey I get you were very excited to win a playoff game. But if you are a Denver Broncos fan wearing a bright orange Peyton Manning jersey in San Diego it's probably not smart to go running around amongst Chargers fans shouting "Hey San Diego, Go Fuck Yourselves!" It's funny in "Anchorman" but it sure as shit isn't funny when you are getting your 300 lb ass kicked and then arrested.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 7:10 AM 0 comments
Well you got to love the honesty. Peyton Manning is one of the all-time greats. He's also has a losing record in the playoffs and despite having a Super Bowl in his back pocket has a huge monkey on his back. So yeah if Peyton wants a fucking Bud Light at the end of the huge playoff win he will get it. Especially now that he knows he has Tom Brady and the Patriots coming to town he's has to feel parched. You know the folks over in Golden, CO are fucking pissed right now. Peyton just bitched slap Coors in the face with his St. Louis love.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 7:01 AM 0 comments
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 10:14 AM 1 comments
I'm not even going to lie. College football is a lot more boring without Johnny Fucking Football. Whether you love him or hate him you gotta at least respect his "on the field" game. Manziel can flat out ball. I think I'm in the minority of people who think he will succeed at the next level. Johnny just has it. And by it I mean chlamydia, gonorrhea, and HPV. In all seriousness Johnny is a leader and a college football legend. The Aggies were just a run of the mill Big 12 team before Johnny came along. In two seasons he almost took them to the mountaintop of the SEC by himself. If the Aggies had any defense we would be talking about Manziel as the best player since Herschel. That's not hyperbole. It's the truth. Plus Manziel is as much a player off the field as he is on it. He's the new Joe Namath without the porn stache. I'm sure the notches on his belt in College Station were legendary and one can only imagine what kind of pull he will have in a new NFL city. He's going to be a top 10 pick and part of me wishes my Atlanta Falcons would trade Matt Ryan for draft picks, draft Johnny, and grab some defensive studs with a late first/early 2nd round. I want the JFF show to come to Atlanta permanently. He's got more talent than Ryan and a hell of a lot more personality.
As a college football I want to Thank You Johnny Football. College football needs polarizing figures like Manziel because lightning only strikes so often. You gotta enjoy the spark while it lasts because before you know it it will be gone.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 2:12 PM 0 comments
In the end Atlanta Braves teammates Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine got the last laugh. Hall of Fame Bitch! Where you at Big Mac? Probably crying in your pillowcase filled with Heather Locklear's gray pubes.
By the way where the hell was Smoltzie? He must not have been a Nike guy. It's the only thing I can figure out. As great as Maddux and Glavine were the one pitcher you wanted on the mound for Game 7 was Smoltz. It's not even a question. Smoltzie will get his Hall of Fame plaque next year along with the Big Unit and Pedro.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 9:58 AM 0 comments
Is it just me or does it look like when FSU gets off the bus they just lost the game? Jesus Christ guys you could at least smile and thank the fans a little bit. You just won a fucking National Championship!
Jameis didn't rape anybody on the bus did he? Bad Jameis. Bad Bad. Now go to your room.
What a bunch of entitled pussies! They could give two shits about their fans chanting like Seminole savages and cheering them on as they are welcomed home. Nope. They just want to get their paycheck and call it a day.
I didn't think it was at all possible but now I feel bad for FSU fans. At least other schools players have an appreciation for them. It's like they went to go pick up their girlfriend at the airport only to find out she brought back her "friend" who's been nailing her on the side. These FSU players look like they just found out Santa wasn't real.
Maybe they are just still in shock they beat a SEC school. Yeah that must be it. Fuckers.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 9:30 AM 0 comments
Only degenerates like myself would understand the pain of what this feels like when you have a bet that's going to pay off only for it to be jerked away from the hands of a bookie. This 2013 College Football season was especially painful. Those mortal locks we thought were 99.999% fool proof slipped through the cracks. It can take the pleasure of a victory away when your team doesn't cover the shitty 7 points it needed but instead won on a last second field goal. Sweet we won but I also lost my hookers and blow retainer.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 9:16 AM 0 comments
Congratulations to Atlanta Braves teammates Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine along with Chicago White Sox slugger Frank "Big Hurt" Thomas for being elected first ballot to Cooperstown. All 3 of these guys deserved to be elected and were all clean of PEDs in my opinion. I of course have fond memories of Maddux and Glavine growing up in Atlanta in the 90's with those two along with the greatest Atlanta Braves pitcher in my mind John Smoltz forming a ridiculous rotation at the top for Bobby Cox's crew. The Big Hurt was one of my favorite players who didn't wear a Braves or Orioles uniform and I can still remember meeting him as a kid and getting his autograph. The Big Guy was one of the nicer guys I've met along with Ozzie, Cal and Smoltzie.
PS if anybody doesn't think Craig Biggio did steroids along with Jeff Bagwell then I'm sorry but you are either a blind Houston Astros fan or an idiot. It wouldn't have bothered me too much if Biggio got in because he has never tested positive but the eye test doesn't lie. Biggio only fell a couple of votes short of election so there's a good chance he gets in next year.
The three elected join managers Bobby Cox, Joe Torre, and Tony LaRussa as the first 6 living inductees since 1971. Odds are LaRussa will bring one of his cats to give his HOF speech.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 1:10 PM 0 comments
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 12:04 PM 0 comments
Do Lee Corso, Lou Holtz, Verne Lundquist, and Brent Musburger all have the same agent? All 4 of these college football horses should have been put out to pasture years ago yet here they are...still fucking up on national television. Granted I love them all and television is entertainment so I can see why TV execs continue to push them on the viewers. I'm just wondering when one of them will show up in nothing but ladies underwear, jacking it on live television after an all night blow fest. Don't laugh. It's going to happen. My money is on Corso. He looks like a blow and hookers type of guy.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 11:52 AM 0 comments
“@SBNationCFB: #unconquered RT @_WSBG: Red Lightning living pic.twitter.com/eC5SJDKW2V” he's cougar bait
— SportsCrack Apparel (@sportscrack) January 7, 2014
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 11:30 AM 0 comments
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 10:47 AM 0 comments
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 6:46 AM 0 comments
Good lord Jesse Palmer why don't you just get on your knees and suck him off while you are at it. There is a good reason why Tim Tebow is a virgin. His "homeostasis" radar is through the roof. You went to your hotel room and had a circle jerk for 3 hours Tebow? That's nice but please don't share that story ever again. I need to go take a cold shower now because Tebow was straight fire.
By the way does anybody really think Auburn has a chance tonight? On paper it looks like a total mismatch vs FSU but then again all 4 of the BCS games have been won by the underdog. UCF was a 17 pt dog to Baylor and crushed them. Oklahoma was a 16.5 point dog to Bama and throttled Saban and his crew. Sparty was a touchdown dog to the Nerds and won the Rose Bowl. And last but not least Clemson was 3 pt dogs to Ohio State and won the Orange Bowl. So could Auburn pull a huge upset as 10 point dogs in Pasadena? I just don't see it. But then again no one thought War Eagle would even be near this game after a disastrous 3-9 season.
I just want to see a good game and see who Brent Musberger undresses with his eyes and words while giving so and so's girlfriend her long awaited 15 minutes of fame. My money is on Johnny Football's latest road beef, Lauren Hanley.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 12:59 PM 0 comments
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 1:14 PM 0 comments
Word is #GaTech coach Paul Johnson is not happy with the school. Hopes they buy him out, according to a source.
— Bruce Feldman (@BFeldmanCBS) January 3, 2014
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 11:49 AM 0 comments
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 11:33 AM 0 comments
Go home Bama. You're drunk.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 10:45 AM 1 comments
#1 prospect Leonard Fournette is one of those rare athletes who plays football and only football. Education be damn. I don't know how well he will fit in at the "University of LSU" with all their scholars. I feel bad for the kid with all the tutors writing his papers and filling out his tests while building up his draft stock in 3 seasons in Baton Rouge. Rough life. Hopefully he gets paid while he is there. Luckily he choose a conference in the SEC which values education over cheating.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (matt@sportscrack.com) at 8:05 AM 0 comments
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