FLORIDA GATOR MAURKICE POUNCEY GOT PAID $100K WHILE PLAYING

Former Florida Gator not only embarrassed himself on draft day by making out with his twin brother on national television but was already taking money from an agent before the Gators played in the Sugar Bowl.

Florida and NCAA officials are investigating a potential rules violation that allegedly occurred last December involving former Gators football standout Maurkice Pouncey, sources said.

Florida is internally investigating what sources described as an allegation that a representative of an agent paid Pouncey $100,000 between the Gators' loss to Alabama in the Southeastern Conference championship game to Alabama and their season-ending Sugar Bowl victory over Cincinnati. Florida apprised the NCAA of the allegation after it became aware of it.

It sounds like the worst that could come from this is Florida vacating the Sugar Bowl win over Cincinnati if in fact he took the money after the SEC Championship. Urban Meyer will have a lot of questions to answer on this and I'm sure he will deflect all of it to Tim Tebow's outstanding character. Urban will now be upping his anti-anxiety medication.

This kind of shit happens all the time especially with a football factory like Florida. Agents are garbage and it wouldn't shock me to hear if another school somehow orchestrated it. Of course Pouncey is an idiot if he took the money but then again he was in a double wide for his NFL draft party so we all should have seen this guy wasn't exactly the smartest jock on the Gator's football team.

I would think not much is going to happen with this in the long run unless Florida pulls a Trojan and tries to deny, deny, and again deny anything improper happened with Pouncey and the agent. After seeing what has happened to USC it would be prudent for Florida to report everything they know to the NCAA.

THEY SHOULD PUT THIS ON "GLEE"

If this was on that horrible show on FOX then just maybe...big maybe...I would watch it. I hate musicals but I like funny. Pretty simple.

50 DAYS TILL COLLEGE FOOTBALL KICKOFF

Just get here already. Now!

STEVE CARELL AND PAUL RUDD MOCK LEBRON JAMES "DECISION"

With Brooklyn Decker and sketches like this maybe next year I will actually watch the ESPY's for the first time.

Nah.

Video HT: Gawker TV

GERMANS KNOW HOW TO DO BACK FLIP FACE PLANTS TOO

Via Deadspin via Dirty Tackle comes another video on the laws of physics. This one is from Germany. Apparently the law of physics states when celebrating a third place finish in the World Cup you can not do a sliding back flip on concrete off a BMW while waving a flag. I thought everybody knew that.

BROOKLYN DECKER AT THE ESPYS

Notice how her husband Andy Roddick was nowhere to be found? Even he knows he can't handle the heat Brooklyn Decker is bringing at the ESPY's. TheHuffingtonPost has more pictures of the future divorcee who is sure to go on a fucking rampage when she finds out Roddick is a professional tennis player and not a successful blogger/CEO like myself. Sometimes you have to follow your heart and right now mine is throbbing. Call me Brooklyn.

PHYSICS LESSON: BIG BREASTED WOMEN LIKE DANA CAN'T DO BACK FLIPS

By all means ladies you can keep trying the back flips but if ya are packing a couple of Hindenburgs up front like Dana here you might not want to try it on live television. She has a dead heat in the Zeppelin race along with a Fairchild beak and she is going to attempt a back flip? Come on girl. This had face plant written all over it. Granted I got to give her a hand for the effort. The law of physics states "big floppies can only go forward and NOT backwards to land a flip." I'm serious. Look it up if ya must.


Video HT: BarStoolSports

THE BEST COLLEGIATE TIGHT END: KYLE RUDOLPH

In case you were wondering who might the nation's best collegiate tight end be this year well I figured I would give you a little education on Notre Dame's Kyle Rudolph. Standing at 6'6 and weighing in at around 265 pounds he is not hard to miss. "Rudy" as his teammates call him completely dwarfs the stature and talent of the Notre Dame walk-on legend who became famous by being 5 foot nothing.

Last season Rudolph put in a workman-like sophomore campaign of 33 catches for 364 yards after a fine freshman season in which he earned 1st team freshman honors. This year Rudy should put up incredible numbers catching passes from QB Dayne Crist in the new spread offense. Chances are this will be his final season in South Bend with the NFL knocking at his door along with fellow junior wide receiver Michael Floyd. Floyd and Rudolph are the most deadly catching combo in the college game and defenses will be hard pressed to stop either one with former 5 star recruit Crist leading a potent quick strike offense.

New head coach Brian Kelly has plenty of talent to unleash hell fire this season with Rudolph leading the way. Expect a Mackey Award for Rudolph's trophy case along with a lot of zeroes on his paycheck from the NFL come draft time. And don't be surprised if you hear these chants this fall from the Notre Dame faithful:

RUDY!

RUDY!

RUDY!

ESPN'S J.P. RICCIARDI REACTION TO THE YUNEL ESCOBAR TRADE

So not only did the Braves get rid of a clubhouse cancer in Yunel Escobar who has not hit all season and replaced him with a guy in Alex Gonzalez who has more home runs and extra base hits then anybody in the Braves lineup but also they pick up two good prospects who could be factors in the future. Seriously, what is not to like about this trade?

Frank Wren pulled a great trade today that could wind up like the Edgar Renteria trade to the Detroit Tigers for Jair Jurrjens and Gorkys Hernandez (who was later flipped for Nate McLouth). Not only is Gonzalez an instant upgrade in the offensive production categories but it sounds like relief pitcher Tim Collins could be a future Billy Wagner and shortstop Tyler Pastornicky has a chance of eventually replacing Gonzalez in the future.

And before some of you Braves fans jump on me about how Yunel Escobar was too young to get rid of and could eventually right the ship please remember the Braves ran out of patience with Frenchy last season and it hasn't hurt them yet. The Braves signed Dominican shortstop Edward Salcedo this offseason and fully expect the 18 year old will eventually be replacing Gonzalez in 2-3 years. Gonzalez has an option for next year of around $2 million that can be picked up by the club and then depending on Salcedo's production in the minors could be the Braves starting shortstop in 2012.

The Braves won in this trade. They want desperately to send Bobby Cox into retirement with a World Series ring and didn't have to mortgage any of their future.

Great job Wren.

JUST ANOTHER REASON FOR ME NOT TO LIKE THE PHILLIES

Come on Charlie Manuel. You damn well know what the fuck his name is. You tell me you can pronounce Yadier Molina and Ubaldo Jimenez without any hesitation with a straight face but somehow butcher "Prado."

How about saying "FIRST PLACE BITCH!"?

Can you say it asshole?

I didn't think so.

Manuel has the fear. The fear of the first place Bravos.

HAPPY HUMP DAY...MIRANDA KERR VIDEO

Thanks go out to Egotastic for this Victoria Secret's commercial of Miranda Kerr which is sure to cause Jergens Lotion to triple in stock value.

GOOD RIDDANCE YUNEL ESCOBAR

I will have more information on the trade later when I get in front of the computer but here is some information from Dave O'brien's blog....

The Braves have traded shortstop Yunel Escobar and minor-league pitcher Jo-Jo Reyes to the Toronto Blue Jays in a five-player deal that nets shortstop Alex Gonzalez.

The Braves began a conference call at 12:30 p.m. to discuss the deal and we’ll provide updates as they occur.

Gonzalez, 33, is in the midst of one of his finest offensive seasons.

The Braves also got left-handed minor-league pitcher Tim Collins and minor-league shortstop Tyler Pastornicky.

Gonzalez entered the All-Star break with a .259 batting average, 17 home runs, 25 doubles and 50 RBIs. Gonzalez currently ranks tied for fifth in the American League with 43 extra-base hits.

“This trade improves our club for the second half of the season,” Executive Vice President and General Manager Frank Wren said. “We have been looking at ways to strengthen our club offensively and Alex Gonzalez is a proven veteran player who gives us added power. He is a winner and a solid offensive presence in the lineup as well as a quality defensive shortstop.”

Thank you Frank Wren. Escobar was a cancer in the clubhouse and his bat has been shit all season. I will miss his glove but I won't miss his attitude. Wren pulled off a miracle getting another shortstop in Gonzalez who has 17 bombs this year. He should fit in nicely with the Braves.

More on this trade later.

BRITISH OPEN STARTED TODAY

And clearly Tiger Woods is not a fan of albino gorillas who raid Rip Torn's closet. I have no idea who is going to win the British Open but I'm positive it won't be John Daly.

Image HT: ExtraMustard

DOUBLE RAINBOW GUY

I know this video is about 6 months old so in internet years it's ancient but I just had to post it. How the fuck did I never see this video till last night? Bin Laden has been hiding in a cave and still somehow saw it before we did. I feel like I have failed you SportsCrack nation. My bad. His reaction to the Double Rainbow across the sky was pretty much how I felt today when I heard the Braves traded Yunel Escobar. The amount of joy in my heart could not be contained. It was so intense!

So anyway here is the remix of the Double Rainbow Song...

SIMPLY DEVINE SHIRT

He doesn't see defenders on the field.

He simply sees code.

He is "Simply Devine."

Get your shirt now at our STORE PAGE for the low price of $17.

R.I.P GEORGE STEINBRENNER

Love him or hate him, you had to respect George Steinbrenner. The guy cared more about winning than the bottom line or status quo. "The Boss" as some have called him was one of the most entertaining owners in all of sports and revived a once dying franchise. The Yankees won 7 World Series Titles and 11 pennants with George as the owner. He bought the Yankees from CBS in 1973 for a net purchase price of $8.8 million dollars. Incredible to think it these days with A-Rod making that much in less than a third of the season. The Boss was eccentric and changed managers 20 times in 23 years including firing Billy Martin on five separate occasions. He called out his players, his managers, and his general managers. He was basically a crazy guy who had a lot of money who wanted nothing more than to win.

Steinbrenner will be missed. He is probably demanding Jesus to get a hair cut as we speak. Or Satan depending on your view.

Does Costanza move up the corporate ladder now?

ICHIRO MELTING HEARTS AND WETTING PANTIES

In case you were wondering I would have had the same reaction as the girl except I would have gotten down on my knees and cupped Ichiro. It's only polite.

TO SEND YOU OFF THIS WEEKEND: MEL GIBSON'S OFFENSIVE RANT

NSFW


I don't think I will ever want to piss off Mel Gibson. He literally takes everything to heart. Who knew William Wallace could be so mean? I just watched "Edge of Darkness" last night and I could see the intensity in his eyes. I guess he doesn't know when to shut off the whole "acting" gig and brings his work to home.

NEVERMIND CLIFF LEE TO THE RANGERS NOW

That whole story I wrote earlier about the injustice of Cliff Lee going to the Yankees...well...ignore it because the Mariners pulled the fuck you card and nixed the deal. Instead they have now traded to Cliff Lee to the first place Texas Rangers. At least I think they have.

Here is the deal: "The M's sent Lee and reliever Mark Lowe to Texas for first baseman Justin Smoak and minor leaguers Blake Beavan, Josh Lueke and Matthew Lawson.

The Mariners will also send $2.5 million to the Rangers to subsidize the $4 million still owed to Lee. Texas has financial limitations due to bankruptcy hearings associated with the sale of the team."

The Mariners really wanted Smoak and who can blame them. The Rangers didn't include him in their original offer but then decided to throw him in to get Lee before the Yankees deal could be completed. Smoak looks like a future 30 plus home run, 120 RBI producing first baseman with 10-15 years of service time left in him. He could be their next Mark Texwhateverthefuckhisnameis. The prospects they got also look better with Beavan putting up really nice pitching stats in AAA.

Of course the Yankees are pissed off because they thought they had a deal in place. They are actually in Seattle right now getting ready to play tonight. I can just see it now. They are the spoiled child who doesn't want to eat his broccoli. Fuck em is what I say. The ice cream that is Cliff Lee's arm is now in Texas mother fuckers. Have fun with that broccoli known as Javier Vasquez.

[Picture via AP]

THE IOWA DRUNKEYES

Iowa defensive end and the awesomely named Broderick Binns was arrested last night in one of those mighty Midwest cornfields for DUI. Binns is only two weeks shy of his 21st which means he can drive drunk plenty of times without fear of being caught with a fake ID. It's the little things that count.

This is now the third alcohol-related incident in just over a month for the Hawkeyes football program. Moderation means nothing to these boys...

Binns’ arrest is the third alcohol-related infraction in just more than a month involving Hawkeye football players.

Sophomore running back Jewel Hampton and junior cornerback Jordan Morris-Bernstine were charged with public intoxication in early June. Hampton, 20, also was cited for being in a licensed liquor establishment after hours, in violation of Iowa City’s new 21-only ordinance that took effect June 1.

Binns is a starter and will still be the starter in 2010 once he receives some community service. He reportedly blew a .097 which in alcoholic terms equates to rookie free agent status. I could blow that farting in other words.

Even with the arrest the Hawkeyes are still my preseason favorite to knock off the Buckeyes. You know why? Because of the other defensive end on the opposite side of Binns. ADRIAN FUCKING CLAYBORN.