WEEKEND PICKS
Just a hint, I like the road teams this week...
AUBURN(+1.5) AT GEORGIA
The Tigers have won 16 straight games wearing their all white uniforms. The Dawgs will be sporting an all black uniform similar to the Atlanta Falcons uniform. Yes, Matthew Stafford will remind Georgia fans of Michael Vick with a couple of costly turnovers.
Prediction: Auburn 21 Georgia 20

KANSAS(-6) AT OKLAHOMA STATE
The Jayhawks are for real! Still undefeated, I think they will blow out a bad Okie State team on the road.
Prediction: Kansas 28 Oklahoma State 14

FLORIDA STATE(+7) AT VIRGINIA TECH
I'm going on gut instinct in this game. The Seminoles are a more talented team and I think they will want this game more than the turkey necks up in Blacksburg.
Prediction: Florida State 17 Virginia Tech 13

USC(-4) AT CALThe Bears have been stumbling of late and the Trojans seemed to get their act together last week against the Beavers. John David Booty should have a good game against a rather weak Bear's secondary.
Prediction: USC 31 Cal 20

TEXAS TECH(+6.5) AT TEXAS
The Red Raiders can score like a midget in Bangkok, but can they hang with Big Brother Texas? I think so, just because the Longhorns haven't been all that impressive this season.
Prediction: Texas 38 Texas Tech 35

CONNECTICUT AT CINCINNATI(-6.5)
I like the Bearcats in this matchup. Like I said last week, the Huskies have to lose at least one Big East game.
Prediction: Cincy 28 Huskies 14

ARIZONA STATE(-7) AT UCLA
UCLA usually wins these type of games, you know the one where they have the 3rd string QB. But I think the SunDevils will bounce back just fine after losing to Oregon last week.
Prediction: ASU 35 UCLA 20

AIR FORCE(-3.5) AT NOTRE DAME
The bleeding, long death of Notre Dame football 2007 edition continues. The good thing about this season is the beer still tastes good.
Prediction: Air Force 27 Notre Dame 14

Enjoy your weekend bitches!

LOU HOLTZ WEEKLY PEP TALK
I have a lot of respect for Holtz and think he is a great guy and all, but he needs to stop doing these pep talks. Half of the shit he says doesn't make much sense and his effort to make fun of Mike Gundy in this is lame.

SPORTSCRACK COLLEGE FOOTBALL TOP 10
1. Ohio State Buckeyes-James Laurinaitis is proving he is the best defensive player in the country. Glenn Dorsey has gotten a ton of press, but the Little Animal is a wrecking machine and seems to be the proven leader for the Buckeyes as far back as last year when he was a sophomore. As the season progresses I really don't see anybody beating the Buckeyes. Illinois could give them a test this week but I think the Buckeyes will wear them down by the third quarter and force Juice Williams out of the game. I hate to say it but I think we can go ahead and pencil in the Buckeyes in the BCS Title game because I don't think they will lose to Michigan either next week.

2. Oklahoma Sooners-The Sooners are back to rocking and rolling after destroying Texas A&M. With two warm up games in Baylor and Texas Tech the following week ahead before the showdown against Oklahoma State at the end of the season, the Sooners should be able to rack up big time points in the minds of the voters if they continue to roll and win the Big 12 this season. Keep in mind the Big 12 has 3 teams in the top 10 right now with Texas lurking just outside. For all the shit the Big 12 has gotten from me and the national media, the league is one of the best this season.

3. LSU Tigers-I'm not sure how many times Les Miles has sold his soul to the Devil but each week he is just squeezing by. Last week's win over Alabama was their fourth straight game decided by a touchdown or less. In all four games they easily could have lost but didn't so they sit high. They are going to need to win impressively the rest of the season because the schedule is much easier with LA Tech, Ole Miss, and Arkansas remaining till the SEC Championship. And even in the SEC Championship game if they win it they could be doing so against a 3 loss team which would not be as impressive as a Big 12 Championship team. Food for thought SEC Fans.

4. Oregon Ducks-Everybody is in love with the Ducks and rightfully so. They clobbered Arizona State and now it appears they have the easy part of their schedule ahead of them. If the Ducks win out do they deserve to be in the National Championship game? Sure, why wouldn't they if both Ohio State and Kansas lose a game. Do I think the Ducks will roll the rest of the way? I don't think so because I think UCLA and Oregon State will give them games and I'm not sure how healthy or effective Dennis Dixon is going to be the rest of the season.

5. Kansas Jayhawks-This team is for real. It's been a joy to watch this team fight for everything they can get and really speaks for how well coached and prepared the Jayhawks are by Mark Mangino. They will get their chance to again prove how good they are in front of a national television prime time audience this Saturday against Okie State. Win it and we are looking at a huge match up with Missouri in two weeks to determine who goes to the Big 12 Championship game with a shot at a BCS Title at stake.

6. West Virginia Mountaineers-Pat White will have this team steam rolling over Louisville tomorrow night but I don't think it's going to be enough to get them back in the BCS Title talks unless a lot of teams in front of them start slipping up.

7. Missouri Tigers-Mizzou keeps winning and proving they are not a fluke by any means. With a resounding win over the Buffs in Boulder last week, Chase Daniel and Co. are in control of their own destiny. Win out and they will be playing a rematch game with Oklahoma in the Big 12 Championship for a possible BCS Title game berth at stake.

8. Georgia Bulldogs-Knowshon Moreno is the shit. How this kid got red shirted last year still baffles me. The Dawgs are going to have a battle this week in Athens vs. Auburn. Win and they are staring at Kentucky as the only obstacle between a SEC Championship berth. Lose and they are going back to the Chick Fil-A Bowl.

9. Arizona State SunDevils-Back to reality for the SunDevils after the loss to Oregon, they can still win out the rest of the season and play in a BCS Bowl game.

10. UCONN Huskies-I can't believe how well Jim Calhoun has prepared this team. All they have to do is get in the tourney and I can see them causing some damage if they survive the Cinderella games. Damn I wish College Football had a tourney.

Just missed the cut: Boston College, Virginia Tech, Michigan, Texas, Florida, Alabama

DAVE CHAPPELLE IN LONDON
I just came upon this wonderful video on YouTube of a performance by Dave Chappelle in London at Kojo's from about a week ago. Watch and learn...

This is how you wing it on the comedy stage. I saw Chappelle in Atlanta about two months back and I must say his stand up is way better than his TV show. Anytime a little sprinkle comes out because the laughter was too hard to bear you know the guy is one funny mofo. He made the right decision in turning down the money I think. He appears very happy to be doing stand up and out of the spotlight so to speak. Whether or not it is in a basement across seas doesn't even seem to faze him.

HOLY SHIT! THEY ARE TEARING DOWN WRIGLEY!
The Lovable Losers will no longer have a home in Wrigley Field starting in 2008. With the 100th year anniversary of the last World Series Champion coming to fruition this spring, the Chicago Cubs franchise has decided their pathetic history can no longer exist in the beautiful confines of Wrigley Field. Home of the Cubbies since 1916, rumors are the Cubs will relocate to Baltimore where Peter Angelos can further run them into the ground and alienate fans with $8 beers and shitty baseball.

I know you are probably thinking this is some BS made up story but it's not. You want proof Bleacher Bums, well here is your proof...

Even the down on his luck groundskeeper has been told to keep his mouth shut or he will be named the new GM by Angelos, a punishment not worthy of anybody. I've tried to find film of Angelos spitting on Harry Carey's grave but I have had no luck so far. When contacted by phone, Mr. Cub Ernie Banks seemed excited with the move but when I reassured him they weren't moving to proven winner St. Louis and instead to Baltimore he hung up.

TOO FUNNY NOT TO POST
Umm, ESPN's Rob Stone you might not want to...oh never mind....

HT Video: WithLeather
Brings back memories of College Spring Break trips to Juarez and the fun times with the donkey(and yes, they do kick). Remember kids, always double bag it including your tongue!

It keeps giving, doesn't it Rob?

UGA SENIORS CALL FOR "BLACKOUT"
When I first heard of the Georgia Bulldog seniors calling for a "blackout" for this week's game against Auburn in Athens, I wondered how in the world are they going to be able to do that when, you know, 98.7% of the crowd is WHITE?

I mean I understand the whole Penn State "white out" deal because white people wear white shirts and those Quakers have milky skin already so it doesn't take much effort. But there is no way everybody in Athens attending the game is just going to wear black shirts and put on black face. It's impossible.

Next thing you know they are going to ask for a red out and will be busing in all the Mexicans from Buford Highway. Obviously this is a racial issue and I didn't want to get involved but I felt it needed to be brought up. What do you guys think? Would you guys be offended if UGA wore black face to the game against Auburn?

THIS VIDEO
pretty much sums up college football this season.

Pure fucking pandemonium full of boozed up taco wearing hat lovers filled with bloody screams of pain and pleasure all rolled up into one.

In other words another Friday night masturbation session for yours truly.

RAVENS ARE NEVERMORE
Wow, that Ravens prediction to beat the spread was a little off by me. Oh well, the Ravens are going down the shitter to the delight of everybody outside of metro Baltimore. With the injuries piling up and the "offensive genius" showing he can't formulate a scoring offense still despite roaming the sidelines for 9 years now in Charm City, there is always College Basketball for all the Marylanders out there.

Oh shit, the Terps are suppose to suck too this year. Well, how about those Colts and Orioles?

Just to rub it in a little bit, here is a nice little love tap from Mr. Hines "always grinning like he just bonked your wife" Ward on Ed Reed. Trust me and watch the clip to the very end, it's worth it not because Mike Tirico announces it like he is doing golf but the unbelievable head snap.

Video HT: Awful Announcing

RUN SABAN RUN

Must be the money!

Via EDSBS through TigerDroppings

SORRY
I've been having some computer difficulties today, apparently typing in www.bigdonkeyfloppy.com is not a good move on a Monday morning. I promise I will make it up to you guys not with sexual favors or anything like that but with something to laugh at...

Let's make this world a better place.

NEW SHIRTS
Check them out at the store page where you can order some of the greatest tees known to mankind.

Gaytors tee shirt, jorts not included.


To Hell with Tech! Shirt


State Penn Shirt

All the shirts are $17 and as always a portion of all sales goes to the American Cancer Society. Show your support for all things Sportscrack by purchasing a tee, trust me, you won't regret it nearly as much as that annoying crotch rash.

D-MAC IS A BAD MAN

HT: EDSBS

I think it's about time to bring D-MAC back into the Heisman talks.

CONGRATULATIONS NAVY
I should have posted this yesterday but I was too drunk to type let alone put a rational thought together(I know what you are thinking..rational thought, has there ever been one on this blog?) after watching Navy finally beat Notre Dame. I've always appreciated the Naval Academy for what they provide our country and I felt really happy yesterday for all the Middies out there that they could finally celebrate a victory. I may be a Notre Dame fan but I was born in Annapolis and have spent as much time on the grounds of the Naval Academy as I have on the hallowed grounds of the Notre Dame campus.

So congrats go out to the Midshipmen.

With that being said I want to let out some frustrations from yesterday. In essense I should only type FUCK YOU CHARLIE but it doesn't do justice to what I really feel. You kick the fucking field goal to win the fucking game you stupid arrogant idiot. You recruited the kicker and instead of showing your confidence in him you decided to go for it on 4th and 8 instead of trying to kick a winning 41 yard field goal. Your fucking arrogance is laughable. Even Charlie Jr. rolled his eyes when you made the call.

Not only that but you did a fake field goal in the first half on 4th and 13, running your slow starting QB thinking he may pull a Travis Thomas and run it for a first down. You fucking idiot, did you really think Evan Sharpley was going to run for 15 yards there? Worse of all you could have gotten your starting QB injured on a horrible play call and then you would have been forced to bring in an injured Jimmy Clausen in to do handoffs.

Get your fat overbloated head out of your ass and think before you decide to again pass up a game winning field goal try for a futile pass attempt. The game was tied you dumb fuck and I don't give a shit about the wind or your excuses for not kicking it.

Everybody in the stadium had the look of what the fuck just happened when you went for it on 4th down. My patience has run thin with Charlie. This season lies squarely on his shoulders. You alone lost the game yesterday against an inferior opponent. I no longer feel confidence in Weis and his coaching abilities, or disability for that matter.

Matt Fairchild's liver says "FUCK YOU CHARLIE."

NFL PICKS
My college picks yesterday performed as well as Notre Dame this season, going 3-6 with two pushes. So take these NFL picks for what they are worth...

GREEN BAY PACKERS(+1.5) AT KANSAS CITY CHIEFS
Brett Favre is playing some of his best football right now and I think the Pack will continue to roll with a tough victory at Arrowhead.

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS(-3.5) VS JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS
The Saints are the better team, it's in the Superdome, and Reggie Bush doesn't have to worry about Marcus Stroud. I'm taking the Saints.

SAN DIEGO CHARGERS(-7.5) AT MINNESOTA VIKINGS
The Chargers are red hot and the Vikings aren't. I think the Chargers should blow them out.

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS(+6) VS NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS
I like the Colts in the RCA Dome as the 6 point dog.

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES(+3.5) VS DALLAS COWBOYS
Home field advantage for the Eagles will be huge and the Eagles want to win for their coach.

BALTIMORE RAVENS(+9) AT PITTSBURGH STEELERS
I'm not sure why the Ravens are such big underdogs, maybe because of the injuries but they always play the Steelers tough. I will take the Ravens as the road dog.

WEEKEND PICKS
Sorry, these picks are a little late because I've been too preoccupied staring at the girls pictured above. The wonderful picture is courtesy of BarstoolSports. Time to lose some money and get drunk at the same time while your girlfriend bitches at you while going back for your 20th beer. God I love College Football Saturdays.

WAKE FOREST(-1) AT VIRGINIA
The Wake have been playing good to great football since they lost their first two games and Virginia has been slipping by opponents till last week. I'm playing the law of averages and think Wake Forest will be able to handle Virginia easily. Take Wake with the points.

NAVY AT NOTRE DAME(-3)
Notre Dame is horrible this year but they finally had a week off to prepare themselves for something other than an ass kicking. Navy lost to Delaware last week and their defense is undersized and they lack depth at every position. The Irish will run the ball with reckless abandon. Take the Irish with the points at home.

UCLA(-1.5) AT ARIZONA
Karl Dorrell's job is on the line and the Bruins are a Jeckyl and Hyde team. This week I think they will be the good team. Take UCLA with the points on the road.

TEXAS(-3) AT OKLAHOMA STATE
Texas is a better team. Again, the Longhorns are a better team. They are men too. Take the Longhorns with the points on the road.

MARYLAND(+2.5) AT NC STATE
The Wolfpack are bad and the Terps are okay. The Terps will be bowl eligible this season thanks to a road win in Raleigh. Take the Terps as the underdog.

LSU(-7) AT ALABAMA
The Saban Bowl is a matchup of mismatches. LSU is clearly the better team and will take a close game in the third quarter and wear out the Tide by the start of the fourth quarter. Take the Tigers with the points on the road. Oh yeah, fuck Saban.

MISSOURI(-4) AT COLORADO
I've been back and forth all week with this game. I know the history, Mizzou doesn't win in Boulder. But this year is different. Mizzou is clearly the better team on the field. I will go with Chase Daniels and the points on the road.

ARIZONA STATE AT OREGON(-7.5)
I think the Ducks are going to blow them out in Eugene. Take the Ducks and the points.

RUTGERS(+1) AT UCONN
UCONN is due for their first Big East loss. Take Rutgers and Ray Rice as the road underdog.

FSU(+7) AT BOSTON COLLEGE
I hate FSU but I think they will actually decide to show up for this game. Don't ask why, it makes almost as much as sense as arguing why Matt Ryan is the Heisman leader. I think FSU will upset BC in Chest"nut" Hill.

OREGON STATE(+15) AT USC
USC hasn't blown out anybody in the PAC-10 in a while. The Beavers know they can beat them. I think USC will win the game, but I'm taking the Beavers as the more than two touchdown underdog.

NFL Picks, yes, I said the NFL, will be posted tomorrow morning or late tonight.

LOU HOLTZ'S PEP TALK TO NAY
It's been a 43 years since Navy beat Notre Dame but tomorrow could change all that. Here is the weekly Holtz' spray talk and don't even bother to ask me what he is talking about...I don't know.

PITT STUDENT BEING CHARGED
The dipshit to the right who threw beer cans on video at Ohio State fans last week will apparently be charged according to the Centre Daily Times. Some of the charges include unlawful use of Bama "Brodie" Bangs, douchebaggery, being a pussy and using a crowd to back you up, improper use of the F word, and unlawful wasting of hangover inducing Natty Boh beer. Oh yeah, and probably assault charges on top of that but those are minor in comparison. I mean seriously, what did these douchebags think they would accomplish by posting this video on YouTube? I kind of feel bad for the little dude. You know he was visiting some of his dipshit friends at Penn State and got wrapped up in the whole "hey, we are in a frat so let's act like dumbasses so people think we are cool" mojo and thought he would be accepted for his douchebag behaviors from his friends if he acted tough. I've seen it before and nobody wins in this type of scenario. Now if you get laid without paying for it immediately afterwards then yes, it was so worth it. In fact if I was the kid I would make up a lie and tell everybody I got layed shortly after just so my Dad would be like "Shut up Nancy, he got layed, good enough reason to throw shit" at a Buckeye. If you haven't seen it or are just coming off an extremely long bender(happens to all of us) well then here is the video again...

RANDOM FAMILY GUY CLIP

I was in Circuit City the other day looking at new cell phones, and yes, like Stewie, it didn't go so well.

SABAN'S #1 FAN
Only two more days till the psychotic Saban Bowl in Tuscaloosa, damn I can't wait to watch some good ole SEC hatred on the ole tele. I want to see blood damnit, you hear me Lundquist? Anyways, I thought I would present this wonderful early November gift of Nick Saban's #1 fan in the whole world...Shine on you crazy diamond...We go bowlin' baby!!!

HT: SIonCampus

Honestly I see no problem being drunk at 6 AM, shit you're an Alabama fan, what else are you going to do?

Don't even act like you didn't rock out to this Bonnie Tyler ballad while rolling up your jeans back in the day.