And so now we have reached the final(hopefully for the love of God not)video of Chris Berman acting like the jackass we always knew he was. I don't think Berman enjoys Al Michaels company too much. Maybe this is the reason why Michaels left ABC after all those years...
I know this is tame to what I would have done, which is put a couple of dead hookers in their hotel room and called it the "Dennis Rodman's Rules Night" to see which rookie could get rid of the body the quickest, but when you suck as bad as the Atlanta Hawks at basketball you do stuff like this...
The first blow was struck by the veterans, who deposited 14 large bags of popcorn into the cars of unsuspecting rookies Acie Law IV and Mario West during practice Monday - rookie center Al Horford was out of the country tending to a personal matter and did not attend practice.The rookies were caught off guard, though West discovered he had been hit first and text messaged Law from the popcorn-splattered player parking lot to warn him that were the victims of well-planned sneak attack.
But not even advance warning was enough to calm Law, who vowed to get revenge on his veteran teammates.
Berman pulling some game with vino talk...
Look at this broad playing with her hair in front of him, she is practically fucking him right there on stage. Berman has sick game. It just goes to show you what the show bizness can do for an unattractive jackass. Blogging not so much. Yeah, I need a real job.
These videos are priceless. I used to hate Chris Berman but now I think I have a serious man crush on the guy. I'm serious. Now I can see how he gets all these hot girls. He has the mouth of a sailor but the pockets are deep enough to bring em home...
"I'm sure you can't wait fukhead!"
For those of you still feeling bad for the Texas Longhorns and their recent recruiting loss of #1 RB recruit Darrell Scott to Colorado, well, take a look at this video of 2009 recruit Chris Whaley who just committed to Texas...
Yeah, Whaley is ridiculous with a capital R. I know the 2008 class is still being signed and delivered(Terrelle Pryor will eventually pick somebody before the baseball season starts) but schools like USC, Texas, and Georgia are off to great starts recruiting for their 2009 class. Whaley might be the best of the bunch when all is said and done. Film doesn't lie. Whaley can flat out run. Unless he is playing in the Mexican Midget League then my judgement is null and void regarding Whaley.
The long rumored Greg Mattison to Baltimore Ravens linebacker's coach finally materialized yesterday according to GatorSports.com. So why does this matter in the never ending world of coaches changing professions? Because apparently Florida head coach Urban Meyer promised prize recruit Omar Hunter that the rumors of Mattison leaving shortly after National Signing Day were not true to secure his commitment to the Florida program. But of course we can laugh at this because we already know what Meyer says is 50% full of bull and the other remains full of the not so pleasant smell coming from the swamps of Gainesville.
So now Hunter is left with a new defensive coordinator and a whole new set of lies and promises sure to leave him wondering why he would ever choose Florida in the second place. Yes, second place because Florida is garbage with Meyer as a coach and I'm not afraid to say it. The guy has the morals and convictions of a Roger Clemens on the stand. His ego is bigger than his bullshit and his playing and manipulating with the lives of teenagers and their families to advance his well being is nothing short of evil.
Point blank is Urban Meyer is garbage and everybody knows it accept a portion of Gator fans. He used Mattison knowing full well he would be leaving to take a position with the Ravens but kept it quiet in order to secure Hunter's signature on National Signing Day. But of course as long as Meyer has gotten what he wants this matters little to himself. All of these players and coaches under Meyer are just pawns to secure himself a lucrative head coaching position in the NFL. He even has his own wife recruiting players now.
Penn product Braxston Cave, when asked the most interesting thing he heard during his recruitment, had an unusual response, and it came courtesy of Florida coach Urban Meyer.
"(He) had me talk to his wife, so that was kind of interesting," Cave said.
The context of the conversation didn't exactly wow Cave.
"Basically, the weather and how they were on the boat and all this stupid crap," Cave said.
Reason #1-Chance of getting a skate to the neck...
The Florida Panthers Richard Zednik literally took a skate to the neck and yet despite all the loss of blood managed to skate off the ice with the assistance of a trainer. All I can say is Zednik is a bonafide BADASS. I think the majority of us would be in complete shock at the sight of so much blood gushing out of our neck and the last thing we would remember is us looking at the jumbotron as we slowly faint to the ice. The fact that Zednik could remain calm and collected just made him the toughest guy in sports. It appears Zednik is in stable condition which is a miracle by itself.
Stella Artois, even if the Vikings stole it...
The Belgians know their beer and Stella is their biggest import. Here is a little history lesson on Stella courtesy of Wikipedia...
Stella Artois (pronounced /ˈstɛlə ɑrˈtwɑː/) is a 5.2% ABV global lager first brewed in Leuven, Belgium in 1926 as a Christmas brew, and named Stella after the Latin for "star."[1]
Although Belgium is best known internationally for its ales, the so-called "table beers," the bottom-fermented pilsner lagers such as Stella Artois head the list for domestic consumption, making up almost 75% of Belgian beer production. Stella is promoted as an international brand by InBev. In its home market of Belgium, however, it is marketed, priced and sold as a regular lager. It is brewed in Belgium and the United Kingdom, as well as other countries, including Australia. Much of the Stella Artois exported from Europe is currently produced at InBev's brewery in Belgium, and packaged in the Beck's brewery in Bremen, Germany.
The Anno 1366 on the Stella Artois logo refers to the origin of brewing in the city of Leuven. The city's tax records dated 1366 mention the existence of a local brewpub called Den Hoorn, ('Hoorn' in Flemish meaning 'Horn' in English, as is represented in the logo on the beer label). The name Artois was coupled to the brewery in 1708, when new owner Sebastian Artois achieved the title of master brewer. The frame that surrounds the name Stella Artois on the label refers to the traditional style of window frame found in Flemish architecture.
Stella Artois is available on draught and in several packaged sizes, including a 275 ml bottle, 284 ml bottle, a 330 ml bottle, a 440 ml can, a 50cl can, a pint size can known as "La Grande Biere" (568 ml), 66 cl bottle, 70 cl bottle and a 1 litre bottle.
I have been waiting for this trade to comsummate for almost a month now but damn it is sweet to finally have it materialize. The Baltimore Orioles, aka the worst team in baseball this coming up spring, finally traded their ace, Erik Bedard, to the Seattle Mariners.
It's about damn time.
In return the O's get a potential superstar centerfielder in Adam Jones. Not the degenerate PacMan all the strippers have come to loath these past years. This is the Adam which has been compared favorably to Torii Hunter or at the worst a Mike Cameron. The Orioles also picked up the best lefty reliever in the game in George Sherrill who should be used as a bargaining chip come the trade deadline for some more young players. No doubt the O's are in a rebuilding mode, but finally they are doing it the right way.
New GM Andy MacPhail used his poker hand in Bedard and pulled a royal flush against the Mariners. In picking up Jones you have the first potential stud centerfielder in Baltimore since...hell...forever! I would say Mike Deveraux is the best CF I have seen in an O's uniform. Devo was a good player but we can safely say Baltimore hasn't had a decent centerfielder in a long, long time. Jones has 5 tool stuff. He hits for average and he hits for power. He has a cannon for an arm(drafted as a shortstop)and scouts think he can be a gold glover in centerfield. Make no mistake, Jones will make or break this trade for the O's. Bedard is a guaranteed ace lefty and you don't find many, if any, in the Major Leagues. But unlike the Minnesota Twins the Orioles got a great haul for their value.
Chris Tillman, Seattle's reigning Minor League Pitcher of the Year,is a 19 year old tall righty who has averaged around 10 K's per 9 inning pitched so far in the minor leagues. If Tillman and Jones pan out in the future it is an incredibly great trade for the Orioles. But if both shit the bed, and don't forget these are just prospects and not a known commodity like Bedard, then this trade will further signal the down spiral path of a franchise who hasn't had a winning season in 10 years.
I don't think this is the case. This is the most excited I have been about an Orioles transaction since they signed Miguel Tejada. True, Tejada didn't bring the once proud franchise back to the playoffs, but he was an individual success in Baltimore despite the team sucking ass. Baseball will and always will be a team sport. If you can trade a player for 5 players of real wealth you have to make the trade. The O's made the right trade. The Mariners made the right trade because they can now compete with the Angels now with Bedard and King Felix Hernandez starting at the top of the rotation.
Now all the O's have to do is sign Mark Teixeria next offseason.
Fuck!
Well, it's finally here. The good old bat shit crazy day of waiting for teenagers to sign their loyalty to pen and paper for your favorite college. We have heard that the #1 recruit Terrelle Pryor will not be signing today much to the dismay of all the Ohio State and Michigan fans. The kid sounds confused... actually more confused than the Democratic Party right now. I'm going to let the day play out and let all the other sites worry about who is and who isn't signing for their particular school. I'm getting too old to worry about this shit. But I will have a recap at the end of the day. National signing day is like the NFL Draft for college. So be prepared for unreal expectations when it comes to some analysis for these classes from the experts.
Now that football season is officially over we can now look forward to some baseball. Granted we still have to deal with the mass hysteria that is National Signing Day tomorrow but after it has come and gone we have a lonely eight months till college football season kicks off. But we can fill it in with some baseball talk with pitchers and catchers reporting in 8 days. It should be a very interesting MLB season with a ton of teams having a good chance to go the distance. If you are a fan of about 20 teams you have a lot to look forward to since in your mind you have a chance to win the whole thing. I could go through all the teams but that is what a preview is for and we are not there yet until all these trades are finalized. I tell you one thing, the American League is going to be nasty this season especially when the Mariners acquire Erik Bedard. Granted my Baltimore Orioles are going to be a terrible team from the day they lace up their cleats in Ft. Lauderdale till the final painful out in late September but at least they finally have a plan in place. There is some hope in Birdland but the rebuilding will take some time.
I'm excited to see all the new faces in new places whether they be new up and coming stars(the Adam Jones' and Colby Rasmus' of the world) or veterans who will be joining a new league(Miguel Cabrera and Johan Santana). Of course I have a lot of thoughts rambling in my head about what might happen this season so be prepared to be unleashed with some knowledge that might make sense or on the other hand might come off as badly as an Andruw Jones strikeout.
By the way, it's been a 100 years now since the Cubs won a World Series. I'm sorry. It's not your fault....
I'm trying to think of a better, more unbelievable clutch play in the history of the Super Bowl than Eli Manning's frantic bomb to David Tyree last night and I'm stuck at nothing. In fact I still can't believe the play actually came to fruition after Adalius Thomas had Manning in his big ass bear paws only to have Eli fight off his claws and heave the ball 50 yards down field. And then for Tyree to catch it while Rodney Harrison is basically Kobe Bryanting him from behind is just an incredible accomplishment that makes this play the best ever in Super Bowl history in my opinion. Of course it could have been a little bit more exciting if Troy Aikman would have squeezed Joe Buck's manbags during the play to at least get something besides a monotone voice during the crucial play.
I completely forgot about the 1972 Miami Dolphins until I saw this commercial this morning in between Skip Bayless rambling nonsense on ESPN's First Take. I can only imagine how tanked those old farts got last night after Eli Manning took a knee. The DUI's and dead hookers must have soared to astronomical numbers in South Florida last night thus bypassing the Michael Irvin days as a Miami Hurricane. Now that is mind boggling.
Mercury Morris becoming a mute: PERFECT!!
Maybe I'm losing my sense of humor or maybe I wasn't drunk enough but I really didn't like any of the commercials last night. The heart coming out of the lady was just disturbing and stupid. The Audi commercial was pretty good if you are a fan of "The Godfather." I was really disappointed in the beer commercials. Usually they are funny and witty but last night I don't recall either happening. At least the actual football game was entertaining for once.
So to make up for the horrible commercials last night I decided to bring this bad boy back to life.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present you "The Swear Jar"....
Not only did you prove everybody wrong this NFL postseason by winning 3 games on the road to reach the Super Bowl but you also proved how big of a dick and poor loser Bill Belichick is. The defensive line played lights out and crushed, stripped, and basically killed Tom Brady all night. Eli Manning is now a Super Bowl winning quarterback. Holy shitballs! I can't wait to see how Carl is doing tomorrow on Adultswim. More than likely he is pile driving his Eli blow-up doll.
NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS 35
NEW YORK GIANTS 28
SUPER BOWL MVP: LAURENCE MARONEY
STUPID FOX PROMOTIONS: 498
Smithwick's Irish Ale is the beer of choice this week and I must say I enjoy it's malty dark flavor. From the same brewers of big brother Guinness, Smithwick's was first brewed in 1710 and it claims to be Ireland's oldest ale. John Smitwick came up with the original recipe for the Ale almost 300 years ago in Ireland and to this day it still delivers a distinctive taste reminiscent of Guinness but not as heavy on the belly and of course not as dark but more of an amber color. If I had to rate I would put it at an 8 on the Fairchild scale and I highly recommend going out and trying it. Currently you can buy an 18 mix-pack of Smithwick's, Guinness, and Bass Ale at Costco for around $18.
I don't consider myself a scratch golfer or anything, hell, I will admit it, I suck balls at golf. But I have played a considerable amount in my now 29 years of existence and yet I have never hit a hole in one. I've come close a couple of times but God hates me and decided to lip them out just to fuck with my fragile emotional state and thus forcing me to curse him and drink more beer. Anyways, getting on to the point, I have never even played with somebody who has hit a hole in one and yet I read shit like this happening and it just pisses me off...
Legally Blind Golfer, 92, Gets First Ace
CLEARWATER, Fla. — What are the odds? Leo Fiyalko, 92, a legally blind golfer with macular degeneration, scored a hole-in-one at a Clearwater country club.
Fiyalko's 110-yard shot with a five iron was his first hole-in-one. He's been golfing for 60 years.
"It's my first hole-in-one, and I never saw it," Fiyalko said. He said he was just trying to put his ball on the green.
A plaque at the Cove Cay Country Club now marks his achievement.
