URBAN MEYER BASICALLY ADMITS HIS GUILT

“Obviously, it’s a joke. I don’t know anything about anything. I heard they’ve got me meeting with the agent and all that. I never met with anybody. It’s ridiculous.”

Oh Urban, you sly snake. You don't know anything just like Mark McGwire had no clue what sticking needles in his ass would do for him. I've always known Urban has been a great college football coach but I just never fully realized what a piece of shit he is. This guy will do anything to gain advantage on Saturday including throwing one of his former players under the bus with some academic bull shit. I hope recruits and their parents take notice of the tactics Urban Meyer uses. Threaten to kill your girlfriend it's all good and you can come back and play against Georgia. Transfer to a rival SEC school like Cam Newton and you should expect some serious mud slinging in the media from Urban.

Seriously, what a piece of shit. I want to see Auburn vs. Florida in the SEC Championship. This has to happen.

Oh and by the way I know Mississippi State head coach Dan Mullen is behind this too. Guess where he got his info people? His good old buddy who's last name just happens to rhyme with LIAR.

ANOTHER SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE: DEREK JETER WINS 5TH GOLD GLOVE

How in the holy fucking hell did Derek Jeter win another Gold Glove? Does anybody who vote for these awards actually watch the games? I guess tomorrow we will find out Brooks Conrad won it with his stellar defense in the National League. Seems completely logical right? I'm convinced Bud Selig made this happen for publicity for his shitty fucking sport.

And yes, I love baseball but I hate that fucking four eyed 70's smoke jacket wearing douchebag and his non salary cap loving ass.

TURKISH BASKETBALL CAN CAUSE HEADACHES

Deadspin.com has the greatest Turkish League Basketball head stomping video of all-time. I've seen my fair share of Turkish League Basketball cheap shots but this one takes the cake. Shame on you Mike Batiste! Just because Albert Haynesworth did it in America doesn't mean you can go overseas and start stomping people's skulls. Seriously, what an asshole!

RICH RODRIGUEZ IS AN OFFENSIVE GENIUS

But we've had the three worst defenses in Michigan's 133 year history....HATER!

Best Trick Play Ever!!!!

All I can say is WOW!!! Check out this middle school trick play! It's insane!!! Check out the Leather Helmet Blog too (for all of us UGA fans) @ leatherhelmetblog.com.

THE CAM NEWTON WITCH HUNT CONTINUES

Last week it was reported Heisman Trophy frontrunner and current Auburn Tiger's QB Cam Newton was reportedly being shopped for $200,000 to SEC schools while he was playing junior college ball in Texas. The smoke came from Mississippi State who said they were approached by a friend or associate of the Newton family who said Cam would take a discount of $180K to play for the Bulldogs because he liked coach Dan Mullen (former OC at Florida under Urban Meyer and coached Cam for two years there). Why it came out last week and not during the summer when it happened was curious. Now we are hearing news that Cam basically got thrown out of Florida for not just accepting stolen laptops but for submitting papers he didn't write. Basically he cheated at Florida on his paper. Color me shocked that this would happen in SEC country or any other major college football program! Here is what Foxsports.com Thayer Evans is reporting from a "source" cough cough Urban Meyer...

Auburn quarterback Cameron Newton had three different instances of academic cheating while attending the University of Florida and faced potential expulsion from the university, according to a source.

Newton, considered the front-runner for the Heisman Trophy, attended Florida in 2007 and 2008 before transferring to Blinn College, a junior college in Texas. He first violated Florida’s student honor code by cheating in a class during his freshman year, according to the source.

Newton was arrested for the theft of a laptop from a Florida student’s dorm room in November 2008. He again violated the university’s honor code by putting his name on another student’s paper and turning it in, according to the source. Newton was caught after the instructor asked the real author of the paper why he had not turned in his work, the source said.

According to the source, after the student said he had turned in a paper, he and the instructor went through all the submissions and discovered that Newton had put his name on the paper in question.

Newton subsequently turned in a second paper to the instructor, but it was later found to have been purchased off the Internet, according to the source. The source said Newton was to appear for a hearing in front of Florida’s Student Conduct Committee during the spring semester of 2009, but instead transferred to Blinn College.

The committee could have levied sanctions against Newton that included suspension and expulsion from the university.

“He knew that he was facing a bad outcome,” the source said.

First off grades are a private matter between the school and the student. These incidents happened two years ago but for some reason we are just now starting to hear about it. Weird right with Auburn now undefeated and Cam Newton leading the way? It just happens to be a coincidence that if Florida beats South Carolina on Saturday they would more than likely face Auburn in the SEC Championship with a multimillion dollar BCS Bowl bid up for grabs. So essentially Cam Newton is the only thing that stands in the way of Urban and his Gators getting to a BCS Bowl. And this "source" is just now telling the writer Evans at FoxSports about something that happened under Florida's watch two years ago. Hmmm. Makes you wonder who could have been the "source" who just now feels like spilling the beans to Evans?

You gotta love SEC football. Not only is it the best conference but it has the most dirty, slime ball shithead coaches who will do anything for a victory on the field... as well as off.

COLORADO FIRES DAN HAWKINS...INTRAMURAL FOOTBALL NEXT?

CBS4 Sports has learned a decision on the fate of CU's Dan Hawkins has been made. He is out as head football coach after five tumultuous seasons in Boulder. All that remains to be announced is when exactly Hawkins will leave.

Sources tell CBS4's Vic Lombardi that Hawkins will address the team at a meeting Tuesday morning. At that time we should learn if he is leaving immediately or if he'll be allowed to finish out the season.

Hawkins' firing has been long expected. Many CU fans were actually hoping he would be dismissed at the end of last year. Hawkins' record stands at 19-39. In his five seasons, the Buffs have never finished with a winning record and reached only one bowl game. The low point may have come this past weekend when CU blew a big lead and lost to Kansas on the road.

If Hawkins leaves immediately, assistant coach Brian Cabral is expected to take over for the remainder of the season.

And to think Georgia fucking lost to Colorado! How fucking embarrassing is that? I think everyone saw this coming. Maybe next time Hawkins takes a big time job he won't play his son at QB. Just a thought.

TOP 25 MLB FREE AGENT PREDICTIONS

1. Cliff Lee- New York Yankees. I honestly can't remember the Yankees ever losing out on a player they wanted. It would be great to see Lee go back to the Rangers but in the end money talks.

2. Carl Crawford- Anaheim Angels. Owner Artie Moreno has deep pockets and the speedy Crawford would look great in an Angels uniform batting leadoff. I think the Angels outbid the Red Sox here and get the one guy in this free agent class that could possibly live up to his free agent deal.

3. Jayson Werth- Detroit Tigers. I know it seems odd to not have Werth going to the Yankees or Red Sox here but I got this feeling the Tigers want to make a splash in free agency. With Magglio leaving it clears room for Werth in right field.

4. Victor Martinez- Baltimore Orioles. Martinez wants to play every day and get his at-bats but more importantly wants a big contract. The Orioles haven't signed a major free agent since Miguel Tejada and are in desperate need of a first baseman who can also catch when Matt Wieters needs rest. Martinez would be the perfect free agent addition for the Orioles considering Cliff Lee and Carl Crawford are too expensive.

5. Derek Jeter- New York Yankees. Jeter is the face of the franchise and there is no way he leaves the pinstripes. I'm thinking a 4 year deal for around $15-20 million per season gets it done for the deteriorating shortstop.

6. Mariano Rivera- New York Yankees. The same case as Jeter. There is no way the Yankees let him leave. One year deal with an option for two for the greatest closer of all-time.

7. Adam Dunn- Chicago Cubs. The Big Donkey would look great in a Cubs uniform. I want to see him blasting balls through windows in Chitown. Plus I want to see the Bleacher Bums boo him when he strikes out looking with the bases loaded in the ninth inning.

8. Rafael Soriano- Anaheim Angels. This is my best guess because the Angels need a closer bad. Soriano at this point is probably better and more reliable than Mo Rivera. If the Angels get Crawford and Soriano like I predict then they should bounce back and contend for the AL West.

9. Carlos Pena- Washington Nationals. With the Big Donkey leaving D.C. it only makes sense to overpay for another all or nothing slugger.

10. Adrian Beltre- Boston Red Sox. Beltre could honestly go anywhere but I think in the end he decides to stay in Boston. With that being said he will probably go to the Angels.

11. Paul Konerko- Chicago White Sox. Both the player and the franchise want the marriage to continue. No need to break it up over a little bit of money. And by little I mean millions and millions.

12. Carl Pavano- New York Mets. Just for pure comedy I could see something like this happening. The Mets will give him over $10 mil a season.

13. Vladimir Guerrero- Texas Rangers. Vlad had a great season in Arlington. No reason he needs to go elsewhere at this point in his career and since the Rangers are coming off a World Series appearance.

14. Jim Thome- Minnesota Twins. I wouldn't mind seeing Thome finish his career in Cleveland where it all started but I think the Twins want him more.

15. Manny Ramirez- Oakland A's or some Mexican team. Either Manny signs with the A's or he goes all Kenny Powers on us and high tails it down to Mexico to do hookers and blow.

16. Aubrey Huff- San Francisco Giants.The World Champs are perfect for the Huffinator...no reason to ruin a good thing.

17. Orlando Hudson- St. Louis Cardinals. The O Dog would be a good fit in Busch Land.

18. Juan Uribe- Cincinnati Reds. The Reds need a shortstop/second baseman/third baseman and find their man in Uribe.

19. Lance Berkman- Houston Astros. Berkman pretty much blows now and the only team willing to give him good money to sell some tickets is Houston.

20. Brandon Webb- Philadelphia Phillies. The Phillies take a flyer on Webb and give him a chance at reviving his career in an incentive base deal.

21. Javier Vazquez- Baltimore Orioles. I like Vazquez a lot as long as he is not wearing the pinstripes. With that being said I still don't like him pitching in the AL East. The Orioles are dumb enough to give him another chance in the division.

22. Derrek Lee- Seattle Mariners. If the Orioles miss out on Victor Martinez then I could see Lee in Baltimore but right now I think Lee goes out to the West coast.

23. Magglio Ordonez- Philadelphia Phillies. Mags is a professional hitter who would be a good fit with the Phillies. I wish the Braves would go after him but they won't because of cap restrictions.

24. Johnny Damon- Seattle Mariners. Not sure why but I could see the Mariners overpaying for Damon for two seasons.

25. Brian Fuentes- New York Yankees. This has disaster written all over it.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL TOP 10

1. AUBURN-I'm giving War Cam Eagle the nod here because they play in the toughest conference. They got wins over 3 top 25 teams including one in the top 10. They get Georgia at home this week. Win it and they can go ahead and make reservations for Atlanta for the SEC Championship.

2. TCU-I know I'm going to get some shit for putting them over Oregon but let me explain first. TCU destroyed Utah on the road. Crushed them. They also have the nation's best defense and their offense may not put as many points on the board as the Ducks but they are still averaging over 40 points a game. TCU just needs to win out and they will be playing for a National Title.

3. OREGON-The Ducks have crushed everybody this season and deserve the recognition they are getting from pollsters. There just seems to be something missing which I can't put my finger on in terms of ranking them above Auburn and TCU at this point. Maybe it's PAC-10 bias but the only good team they have beaten this year in my mind is Stanford. All they have to do is win out vs. Cal, Arizona, and Oregon State and they can play for a BCS Title game. I see them slipping up in one of those games.

4. BOISE STATE-All they do is win. They have the 2nd rank offense in the nation and they also have the 2nd rank defense. Kellen Moore will lead them to an undefeated season but it looks like they are going to need Oregon and Auburn to both lose in order to play for a BCS Title. They won't jump an undefeated TCU in my opinion.

5. STANFORD-They have the nation's best pro-style quarterback in Andrew Luck and they can stamp a trip to Pasadena if they win out. They have an outside shot of reaching a BCS Title game. The odds are about 1 in 2 billion but there is still a chance.

6. LSU-I don't know what to say about this team. They look ugly on the field but somehow they always manage to win. I guess having the best defensive player in the country in Patrick Peterson helps. The Mad Hatter did outcoach Nick Saban last week. Never thought I would say those words.

7. WISCONSIN-In the driver's seat for a trip to Pasadena if they can win out vs. Indiana, Michigan and Northwestern. Personally I hope they lose just because I have never enjoyed watching the Badgers. They are like the Miami Dolphins of college football. I just choose not to watch because they always bore the shit out of me and their coach is a jackass.

8. NEBRASKA-Survived a nail biter in overtime to Iowa State. The Cornhuskers look to regroup this week with Taylor Martinez back from injury vs Kansas. They need to put 50 on the board to impress the pollsters and try to get into the top 5.

9. OKLAHOMA STATE-Justin Blackmon has pretty much already clinched the Biletnikoff award for best receiver. The sophomore has been a beast this year with 75 catches for over 1200 yards and 15 TDs. He will put on a show this week vs Texas on primetime network television. He deserves serious Heisman consideration.

10. OHIO STATE-The Buckeyes are good but they have no signature wins. Miami is terrible and the rest of their out of conference schedules was cupcakes. The one good team they faced they lost in Wisconsin. They still have a shot at the Rose Bowl if they can win out.

OOOPPPSSS!!! and Help CHOA!

Hey everyone! I'll apologize for Matt and I missing our picks from last week. I'm sure I can speak for him as well when I say the changes him and I have had in our personal lives have tended to take over a little bit! Those of you who know us personally know exactly what I'm talking about and I know that my family is so thankful for all of the congrats and support! I won't miss another week, unless there is an emergency, so whether you think my picks suck or not, you'll have to deal with them until Matt kicks me off.

Secondly, the company I work for and a team I am involved with through that company are working together to raise money for Children's Healthcare of Atlanta (www.choa.com). I'm not putting that out there for your money or any donations, but to say that the holiday season is close and there are tons of kids who simply need help to enjoy the holiday season. For whatever reason, their families are unable to help them, they have outstanding medical needs, they have been involved in a bad accident, who knows, but it's the time of year to give and I hope that you all consider sponsoring a child, giving to the Red Cross, even giving to the annoying people who ring bells for the Salvation Army. Tough times are the best times to give and to volunteer around our communities and just as Matt makes a donation from every single sale to a charitable organization (The American Cancer Society), I would encourage you all to look for ways to give back.

If you are interested in helping my teams cause for CHOA, we are accepting sponsorships for an upcoming Soap Box Derby where 100% of the sponsorship will go to CHOA, shoot me an email @ john.s.mcpeters@gmail.com and I can email you with details.

Wherever you live, help make this holiday season less about what you receive and more about what you give and how you can help your community this season. Information about CHOA is below. Thanks guys, for reading, for commenting, and for caring! I personally wish all of you guys an amazing holiday season, yes even you Blake...

From the CHOA website:

About Children's Healthcare of Atlanta

Enhancing the lives of children through excellence in patient care, research and education

Welcome to Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta. We are honored that you have trusted us to care for your child’s healthcare needs. We will do everything we can to help both you and your child feel comfortable, safe and secure. Please feel free to ask our staff questions. Let us know what we can do for you and your family.

At Children’s, we strive to enhance the lives of children through excellence in patient care, research and education. Whether treating an injured toddler in an emergency or supporting a teen through a series of chemotherapy treatments, we take our commitment to care for each and every child who comes through our doors very seriously. It’s through teamwork at every level of our organization and with you, the family, that we are able to achieve a high level of excellence in pediatric care.

AUBREY HUFF PULLS A ZOOLANDER AT GIANTS WORLD SERIES PARADE

Baseball needs more personalities like Aubrey Huff. The guy could literally give two shits what anyone thinks of him. He wore the rally thong all year despite the teasing and the laughing and guess what happened? World Series Champs. Nobody thought before the season started that the Giants were legitimate contenders for the whole enchilada. But the rally thong proved everybody wrong.

Could you imagine if Huff pulled this shit on the east coast or in the midwest? There would be church groups and political figures calling him a sexual deviant while protesting with pitchforks and torches. But in San Fran nobody gives a shit because it is so liberal and free. Awesome.

DALLAS COWBOYS LAP DANCE

The Dallas Cowboys have collectively gone in the shitter this year at 1-6 but I don't think these Cowboys fans really give a shit. What are the chances her name is Debbie? I give it 50/50 odds. I will be attending my first NFL game of the year next Thursday when the Baltimore Ravens come down to the Dirty South. Falcon's fan girls you have been put on alert. You can't let this little Cowgirl outdo you. I expect Pink Pony shit to go down as the Falcons are destroying the Ravens. It's only polite.

Oh yeah I keep hearing about Notre Dame losing recruits left and right now that they shit the bed against Tulsa and Navy in back-to-back weeks. If you want to get those recruits back I suggest some of those St. Mary girls start doing a little Cowgirl action in the stands. At this point anything would help the Irish.

Video via TheBigLead via Jimmy Traina

USC QB MATT BARKLEY DOING "HIS DOUGIE" TO ACE OF BASS

Matt Barkley did his white man's Dougie for his pre game ritual before getting thrown around by Oregon on Saturday. I got to admire his determination. He really is putting it all out there. Yes indeed Matt Barkley...it's a beautiful life.

JOHN WALL DOES "THE DOUGIE" FOR HIS HOME DEBUT

Man this kid has fucking game! Not only does he do "The Dougie" during his intro but he goes out and does something no NBA player has accomplished in over 40 years. With his 29 points, 13 assists, and 9 steals in an electric OT win over the Philadelphia 76ers Wall became just the third NBA player to have at least tally 60 points and 20 assists in his first three NBA games. The other two were Oscar Robertson and Connie Hawkins. The Great Wall will be the face of the NBA for the foreseeable future. The kid is that good.

WILL FERRELL AND MANNY PACQUIAO SING "IMAGINE"

You know what I can imagine? Pacman absolutely destroying Antonio Margarito next weekend. It's going to happen. Margarito has no shot of beating the Pacman. Vegas sees it that way too. It will take you a $1000 bet just to win $112.

OREGON DUCK PULLING MAD GAME OVER USC

Not only on the field do the Ducks totally fuck the Trojans but off the field they use them and then throw them out in the trash.

SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS WIN WORLD SERIES

I have to admit I'm a little surprised how easy it was for the Giants. They absolutely crushed the Rangers. Their pitching was incredible with Lincecum, Cain, and Bumgarner all pitching gems. The backend of the bullpen shut things down quickly. Edgar Renteria, yes the 36 year old shortstop, won the World Series MVP after hitting two huge homeruns in the Series. He only had 3 during the regular season. And closer Brian Wilson just wants to rage. They might not be the prettiest team to watch but the Giants played as a team and got contributions from everyone except Barry Zito who is far and away their most expensive player. With their young starters the Giants should be set up for a few years to make some more runs at postseason glory. If only the Braves wouldn't have committed those 5000 errors in the NLDS we could be talking about the Braves right now. Oh well, there is always next year. Let the free agent bonanza begin.

BETWEEN TWO FERNS WITH ZACH GALIFIANAKIS: BRUCE WILLIS

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Bruce Willis from Bruce Willis

Comedy gold here my friends.

"What's you talking about Willis?"

"Look Who's Talking?"

"Where do you keep your Blockbuster Entertainment Award?"

"Ashton should tweet this!"

VOTE NO ON PROP 19 FROM A DRUG DEALER

Vote No on Prop 19 From a Drug Dealer from Ben Garant

This will be my one political contribution for election. Vote no on Prop 19 California! Think about all the drug dealers who would no longer thrive in our society and all the small time drug dealers behind bars who the tax payer pays for. This can't happen. I support drug dealers and if I lived in California I would vote no on Prop 19. Marijuana is an awful drug that gives you munchies and makes you smell like a wet dog who rolled around in it's own feces. I like feces.

PLAYER OF THE WEEK: NEBRASKA RB ROY HELU JR.

307 rushing yards! Are you fucking kidding me? Roy Helu Jr. sets a new Nebraska rushing record while averaging over 11 yards per carry against Missouri. I still think Nebraska wins the Big 12 this year. They will beat Oklahoma in the championship game because the Sooners defense is suspect at best. I'm predicting Nebraska vs. Boise State in the Fiesta Bowl.